Yibo's pov~

"This feels like a dream, a beautiful dream that I wish never ends," Zhan said.

I gently pinched his cheeks, "it's not."

Currently, we were at Zhan's house sitting on his sofa, his head was in my lap, while I caressed his hair. It was peaceful.

"My mother had schizophrenia." I started, his eyes opened as he said, "Yibo, you don't have to."

"No, I should, I have to, I owe you this," I said, Zhan became quiet and I told him everything, about my mother's illness, my father's affair and how I hid it from her, about Henry and my relationship, and how we separated, my mother's death, everything in detail. Everything leading to the day I ran away.

Zhan sat straight, wiping his tears, he took some time before he took a deep breath and said, "You were through so much...I... am sorry I wasn't there for you."

"It's not your fault." I said, Zhan stared at me, before he hugged me tightly, "fuck I am so sorry, Yibo, you have been through so much, I am so fucking sorry, I wasn't there."

"It's okay Zhan..."

He then broke the hug and stared at me, it felt like he was thinking about something before he finally asked, "And what happened after you ran away."

I sucked in a deep breath, contemplating if I was ready or not.

I was, I had to tell him, I wanted to come clear to him and tell him everything about me so that he could decide if he wanted to keep me in his life or not.

"You don't have to talk if you don't want to," Zhan said and I gave him a gentle smile as I held his hand.

"After I ran away, I was a mess, I got my mother's inheritance and she left me a good amount of money, that was transferred to my account after I turned eighteen.

I became addicted to drugs, smoked, drank, and partied hard, at first my father tried to help me, but he soon gave up on me and cut all contact because he was ashamed, I caused a lot of trouble for him as well.

I completely gave up on college and wasted my life, I worked at bars as a waiter, and as a bartender, and I would throw all the money on drugs.

I used to live in a small rented apartment, but soon it was hard to pay the rent too. There were several times when I nearly...." I stopped speaking, rubbing my hands.

Zhan noticed that and gently held my hand and lifted the sleeves up, when he saw the cut marks he nearly cried, he sucked in a deep breath and stared at the scars with intensity.

"I lived like that for four years, and one day I was thrown out of my apartment because I wasn't able to keep up with the rent, I was all drugged up and it was cold December night when I was lying on the streets, I would have frozen to death that day if Bodhi hadn't found me.

Bodhi used to be good friends with my mother, he is a Buddhist monk and I have known him since my childhood, my mother often used to call him home or, she would meet him whenever she would go temple before I wasn't very interested in him, and used to look down at him. He had moved away when I was thirteen.

But he saved my life and gave me a reality check, he basically took me in, put me in rehab, helped me get clean, and went to college, it was very hard at first, but getting back on track was not hard, but here I am. I am sober now."

I was staring down at my hands, unable to look at Zhan, I didn't have the courage, I was scared of what I would see, and I didn't want him to be disgusted by me.

I heard a sob and I finally looked at  Zhan who was crying, he wiped his tears before he got up and walked to the kitchen.

Now I felt extremely anxious, was Zhan disgusted? Did he look down on me now? Did he think that I was not worth his time? What if he asked me to leave?

Before I could think of something else, Zhan came back and sat beside me and immediately jumped on me, he hugged me tightly as we lay down on the sofa.

I hugged him back and asked, "Do you hate me now?"

"Nothing in this world can make me hate you Yibo, my feelings for you will never change if anything I think you are very strong and brave, if I were in your place I wouldn't have been able to handle all of this, but you fought against all odds and came out victorious.

Yibo, you are the strongest person I have met in life, I respect you and admire you even more now.

I love you Yibo."

My eyes became wet and my heart skipped a beat, "Lo...love as in..."

Zhan stared at me and made me look into his eyes, "Love like love, I love you romantically, I want you as a lover, as a life partner, I love you Yibo. I have loved you for ten years, and that has never changed and will never change, you will always be the one to rule my heart. You are my one and only, I have ten years to tell you about my I adore you.

How much I have missed you, I wish I had said all this to you ten years ago, but I don't want to wait  anymore, please don't leave me again Yibo, this time I will not survive that."

"I won't," I said, I have caused this man so much pain, he waited for me, he waited for me ten years, I looked at the ring on his fingers that I gave him ten years ago, he still wore it. He hadn't forgotten me, and I was thankful to him for waiting for me.

We hugged each other before we fell asleep.

~~

The next time I opened my eyes, I saw the most beautiful face in front of me, Zhan was awake, and he was staring at me.

"You were watching me sleep?" I asked.

"You looked mesmerizing, I couldn't take my eyes off of you." he paused before he raised his hand and gently touched my face, "I was so scared that I might wake up and you would be gone, but here you are in my arms, I didn't want to take my eyes off you, I was afraid that you might disappear."

I felt a pang on my chest when I heard that.

"It's alright Zhan, I am going to leave you, I will never leave you again."

"Yibo..."

"Hmm..."

"Will you be my boyfriend?"