Younger went inside the studio of his hyung to greet with a very good acnet in the air as he saw he saw his hyung sitting on working on some music as a woman sat next to him. She was really pretty so Jeongguk recognised her, she is an idol.

"Oh,I am not interrupting anything,am i?" Jeongguk said to them,making both of their heads snap towards Jeongguk.

"Oh gukkie you are here! No no,chungha-sshi was just leaving" Namjoon told them as chungha smiled and got up from her seat.

"Oh who is this? Are you a rookie idol i dont know of?" Chungha asked him,making Jeongguk shake his head. Namjoon chuckled.

"No no Chungha-sshi,he is my friend,Jeon Jeongguk." Namjoon told her,making her understand who he is. 

"Oh he had those looks so i thought- well anyway,i should go now. I'll be back Tomorrow,nice meeting you Jeongguk" She took her hand bag and put it on her shoulders. She smiled at both of them one last time and went out of the room. 

"Y-you too" Jeongguk stuttered,she probably didn't even hear that. Jeongguk walked to the seat and sat down.

"So what brought you here, Gukkie?"

"You are working with Chungha,you are so famous,hyung" Jeongguk said as he really admired his hyung. He is doing something he loves and succeeded in it.

"I mean thanks but you didn't answer my question,are you here for a new song? got inspiration already?" he asked him again.

"i have an idea for a song and the inspiration but it's kind of complicated. I came to you for advice since Jin sucks at it" Jeongguk told him,making Namjoon laugh.

"So what is it? Actually, I kind of heard some things from Jin. You got a crush?" Namjoon asked as Jeongguk looked down his lap shyly. "so you do"

"it's not that simple hyung. He doesn't like me,he treated me like a one night stand and vanished. I never saw someone as beautiful as him hyung. Dont want to sound spoiled but fuck i want him so bad" Jeongguk told what he is feeling to Namjoon.

"if he vanished then you should just leave him guk,you said yourself he treated you like a one night stand so that means he is not interested. You can't force someone to like you,can you?"

"..no"

"Oh come one now,don't sulk. Just move on,what made him so special?" Namjoon questioned him,jeongguk eyes suddenly shined.

"He is so beautiful. He was so gentle and really cool. His eyes were so hypnotizing and everything about him was so hot. I felt like I was falling so deep into him. I'm telling you hyung,that sex was the best one for me. he was so good"

"So you like him sexually?"

"NO,what part of im falling  did you not get? He was mesmerising and he had such smooth skin. I want to hold hands with him. I want to take him on a date and see him smile,I want to date him" Jeongguk expressed his feelings,making Namjoon sigh. He was in deep. 

"You concluded all this in two days?"

"yes."

"Gukkie....you like like him,you know that and all you know is his name and face, Nothing else. You don't know if you will meet him again but you know if you felt this special with him then maybe he did it too,you know just be patient,not to sound cheesy but if you guys are meant to be,fate will bring you together"

"You are so cool hyung,ok i will wait for him. Thank you so much" Jeongguk looked at his hyung with stars in his eyes,oh he still may have a lowkey crush on him. But it's not that serious. 

"anytime guk i-" before namjoon could even finish what he was saying he got cut off by Jeongguk's ringtone.

Jeongguk picked up the phone and saw his mom contact,he mumbled a little sorry and just told him he will be back. He got out of the studio and accepted the call as he leaned next to the wall. 

"Hello? mom?" 

"Gukkie~ how are you?" He heard his mother's sweet voice.

"Good mom,what about you?" he asked her back,politely.

"im fine too,just getting old and i miss my son" 

"You have Jaewon there with you" he said to her,mentioning his 13 year old brother.

"Yeah he is going through puberty so sometimes it gets hard with him but i miss my older son who didn't even come to visit me this past month" She said,making jeongguk scoff.

"That's because you are always busy mom, I bet Jaewon probably sees you once a week" he said to her,recalling how his mother was when he lived with her. She will always be out early and come home late,she was a successful businesswoman and a single parent so Jeongguk does blame her a little for not being there for the majority of his teenage years. So just to put less burden on her he moved out and has been living by his own earned money since then.

"I am not the same anymore gukkie,i get home a lot earlier than i used to. Anyway,I want you to come here for dinner,I will be making some special things since Jaewon said his girlfriend is coming...you can invite your boyfriend too" She said last line in a low voice. Jeongguk chuckled,daring of her to assume he has a boyfriend.

"I don't have a boyfriend,mom and Jaewon have a girlfriend? he is 13! you didn't let me date until i was 16" 

"well things change and why don't you have a boyfriend ? how about i set you up with-"

"mom no please,there is someone im going out with but we are not official yet. I will be come to dinner around 7 ok?" Jeongguk lied to her about going out thing. The highest contender for being his boyfriend right now is Taehyung and that is one sided and probably he is never going to see him again but he had to somehow get his mother off his back.

"ok fine,see you,i love you gukkie" 

"love you too,mom byee" he hung up the phone and looked at the time,it was 6:30 already. He sighed and went inside the studio to see his hyung on his phone. He looked up at the younger boy once he was in.

"Who was it?" He asked him.

"mom,called me for a dinner"

"You should visit her sometimes, you know,she misses you alot" Namjoon told him with a smile.

"I missed her too when she wasn't home" Jeongguk said,immediately regretting it.

"You know that's not her fault right? she needed to provide for you and your brother so she had to work overtime"

"I know hyung,i just- you are right,I'm just not in the mood suddenly. I will go though,Jaewon has a girlfriend that's crazy he is like 10"

"13,what can we say about kids having more game than us" Namjoon said,making them both laugh as they both were single.

"You should date Jin Hyung"

"i see Jin as my big brother so no"

"Well your loss then,if i was your age i would have dated Jin hyung" Jeongguk teased him,making Namjoon glare at him.

"What do you mean by my age brat? im only 28 year old"

"People get married at that age, my pretty hyung" Jeongguk said to him with a grin on his face. Namjoon rolled his eyes.

"Whatever,you should get going since my next client is going to come in like 5 minutes" He told him as he got back to doing something on his computer. Jeongguk took a deep breath and nodded.

He got up from his seat and went outside the studio. He usually walks around here because there is a 99% chance you will meet a famous artist here because this is a famous entertainment building. He doesn't have time right now since his mother invited for dinner so he can't go look around.

He soon reached his car and got inside,going over to his mom's house. His father was out of the picture when Jaewon was born. Their father decided he doesn't love his wife and kids anymore and didn't want to 'waste' his money on them,so he ran away to god knows where with his mistress.

His mother was left with her 8 year old son and a newborn with only the little house they lived in. Jeongguk's aunt really helped them to stay stable for a while as His mother went out to find jobs while their aunt took care of them. Soon his aunt stopped coming and his mother hired a maid who took care of them 24/7 while his mother worked. They did upgrade alot financially,his mother has her own business now and is a very well respected woman in society but her relationship with her kids is barely there.

When Jeongguk moved out,his life finally wasn't as easy as it used to be. He refused to let his mom pay for anything. She still insisted on buying him a place to live so the apartment he lives in right now is bought by his mom. He doesn't have to worry about rent. So everything else he pays by himself. The bills and taxes and all the grown up stuff. The only money he makes is from singing in Jin's High class bar and sometimes helping Namjoon produce. He did both of them a favour but his hyungs insisted to pay him for his work.

The pay is alot since Jin is the owner of that high class bar and Namjoon produces songs for A-list idols. He is thankful that he is friends with them. 

He arrived at his destination. He parked the car in the garage and looked at the big house infront of him. It's been a while since He visited his mom. He went to the porch and rang the bell. He waited only some seconds when the door opened,greeted by little brother.

His little brother had a stern face until he saw his hyung on the door which made his eyes light up.

"Hyung!" He said as he engulfed Jeongguk in a hug. Jeongguk saw how tall his brother got,he is not taller than himself but still too tall for a 13 year old.

"Jaewon,wow you got tall. What is mom feeding you?" He asked him as he ruffled his hair. 

"You think mom is feeding me? ha" He chuckled as Jeongguk froze for a second. That's new coming from his brother. Guess his mom lied about being home.

"Well that's what i thought. Is mom home?" He asked him as both of them walked inside the house,closing the door afterwards. 

"Yeah in her room,will be down any minute since she was getting ready for her son" Jaewon told him,making Jeongguk chuckle. They walked into the TV lounge where Jeongguk sat down on the couch.

"Want anything to drink?"

"You are being too nice to me wonnie" Jeongguk looked at him,teasing him with the nickname. Jaewon rolled his eyes.

"Don't call me that again,I'm only being nice since I have guest over" Jaewon gave a forced smile,looking at the stairs repeatedly.

"Is your girlfriend here?"

"Mom told you? yeah,i told her to wait in my room" 

"Call her down,it's not nice to leave a guest alone.'' He told them as Jaewon nodded and went up the stairs to his room.

He heard footsteps coming down,expecting his brother but instead he saw his lovely mom coming down with a huge smile on her face.

"Gukkie,oh my god you grew up so much!!" His mom said to him,she gave her son a hug. Jeongguk laughed at the height difference as he hugged her back.

"i literally came here months ago and I'm the same"

"No you are not,you look so skinny, do you even eat?" She protested as he squeezed her son's cheek,making him wince. "Mom~ stop" 

"Come on,sit down, I will get you something to drink" She went out of the room to the kitchen.Jeongguk was once again alone in the room.

He sat down on the couch again,looking around as nostalgia hit him. Nothing much changed at all, it's all the same. Guess him leaving didn't make much of a difference. He saw his mother coming back with a glass with juice as she gave it Jeongguk.

Jeongguk took a sip and looked at mother. "Really mom? apple juice?"

"don't you like it anymore?"

"No, mom, that was years ago" He complained,not trying to sound too annoyed which he wasn't so he didn't want to come off like that.

"oh,anyway did you meet Jaewon and his girlfriend ? aren't they the cutest couple?" Her mother cooed over his brother.

"I saw Jaewon but not his girlfriend"

"Even your 13 year old brother is dating someone,why are you single? i expected you to come with your boyfriend and surprise me but i guess not" His mother is so invested in his love life he can't even complain because he never got any far in any relationship that he felt it necessary to let his partner and mom meet.

"I told you mom, I'm going out with someone if things work out,I will bring him to you,happy?" 

"You better,I want to see my grandchildren before I die" She stated, making Jeongguk choke on his spit.

"Mom!! don't joke around like that'' He protested,making his mom laugh at him. This was like a rare moment for both of them. Just chilling in the tv lounge having a conversation. Jeongguk won't lie, he liked it alot.

Soon Jaewon and his girlfriend came into the room too,holding hands. The girl was really cute and was the same age as Jaewon. His mother was right about them being cute.

"Seri you are here,come sit here" His mother said in excitement. Seri looked a little awkward because the situation was weird. They both sat on the other couch.

"Seri this is my big brother,Jeongguk and Hyung this is my girlfriend,Seri" Jaewon introduced both of them. She bowed a little to Jeongguk, not saying much,but Jeongguk concluded she was shy.

He related to her so much,he was a hot mess when he was younger,he was really introverted,awkward and shy.

"You two look really cute together,still Can't believe mom let you two date,no offence but i wasn't allowed to date until i was 16"

"hyung time change,you are still single, where do we go from here?" Jaewon snapped back,Jeongguk looked at him unbelievably as his girlfriend and Mom laughed.

"You brat,i have been in 4 relationships,that's alot more than you" Jeongguk told him,trying to flex his relationship when almost all of them were bad. Three of them were girls who he had no feelings for and was confused about his sexuality and one was a guy who was his gay awakening. Things didn't work out on that as well.

"Ok now I don't want you two to fight. Let's have dinner,Seri-ah will you be joining us for dinner?"

"Oh No thank you so much for inviting me but i gotta go,my mom told me to be back for dinner,im sorry" She apologised to his mom,making her eyes soften. 

"oh no its okay,you are still very young. I understand your mother. Please come back again since you are much more fun than Jaewon" His mom said,making all of them laugh except Jaewon who rolled his eyes.

"Ok I am going to see her off since slander against me is getting too much" He said as he took his girlfriend's hand and dragged her out of the room as she gave them a smile. They walked out of the room.

"You and her seems close"

"Yeah our age difference is alot but she is really a nice girl and dont tell this to Jaewon but she is definitely a better company then him. Why do you think I let two young teenagers hang out at my house? i usually take her with me and we talk a lot while Jaewon just gives up and goes back to his room" His mother explained to him,making Jeongguk chuckle.

"You are mean to them,they are young, what worse can they do?"

"lose their virginity at this young age,it's too early for them to get intimate,just holding hands and maybe a little peck is okay once in awhile"

"Come on mom,you can't stop them since you cant only have sex in your house though there are many other places"

"They are 13, Guk"

"You didn't hear anything from me,let's go, I'm getting hungry. This conversation is super weird for me" Jeongguk stood up from the couch and went to the dining table,sitting down in one of the seats.

His mother went into the kitchen to get the food she made for once. She came back with multiple dishes so Jeongguk decided to help her out to set the table. Soon Jaewon came back too as he took a seat while his hyung and mom put the food on the table.

They all sat down once the food was ready. Putting it on their plates. Jeongguk mouth watered from seeing all these delicious homemade korean food. He barely gets to eat his mother's handmade food so he will try to savour every bite.

All of them soon start to dig in the food. Jeongguk loved it alot. He lives alone so there isnt much he can make and he really doesnt cook alot too,just on special occasions. He usually lives off instant ramen and struggles with meals unless his hyungs come over and cook for him. So this is a treat for him,the maids probably helped his mother but its still worth it.

"This is really fucking good" Jeongguk blurted out. His mom glared at him while Jaewon chuckled.

"Language,we don't curse on the table and your little brother is sitting right next to you"

"Im not a baby mom"

"yes you are,you are 13 not 31" His mother protested as Jaewon looked annoyed. (puberty❤)

"Anyway how long have you been dating Seri?" Jeongguk asked him,making him think for a second.

"three months,she is nice isn't she?" Jaewon said with a smile on his face. Jeongguk liked seeing his baby brother happy.

"Really nice" 

"what about you? Are you really not dating anyone hyung?" Jaewon questions,making Jeongguk almost choke on his food. He looked at him unbelievably.

"Why is that so unbelievable to you guys?" 

"Because you are so handsome. I literally flex you in front of my friends,I show them your picture. They think you are like some idol or model. Even when i showed you to Seri she was shocked and said girls will kill for you and even asked if you have a girlfriend" Jaewon paused for a second. Jeongguk felt flattered but then again it just makes him feel pathetic. He is handsome and single,people like him exist.

"What did you said?" He laughs at the word 'girlfriend' sometimes,can't believe he managed to fool himself that he is indeed straight for 18 years. When he graduated and got into college he realised he is pretty fucking gay. Dated a guy and then came out to his family when he turned 19. Thankfully his mother was really accepting and treated him the same. His brother was 10 at that time so he barely had any opinion so he grew up with his big brother being openly gay so he never had an negative opinion.

"Well i obviously didn't want to out you so i said No he is busy with University stuff. I bet she was happy to see my 'idol-brother' in real life. So once again,why don't you have a boyfriend?" Jaewon asked him again as they were back on square one. Jeongguk sighed as he doesnt have an answer.

"Wonnie come on, dont push your brother. He said he is going out with someone so let's wait and hope it works out this time" His mom interrupted into the conversation,defending Jeongguk who was busy eating.

"Oh really? is he handsome? pretty? hyung do you have a picture?" He asked Jeongguk once again. Jeongguk panicked as he doesn't even know who he is going out with so what should he do.

He remembers his hyung telling him how he found the 'pretty boy you have a crush on' instagram. He quickly opened his chat with his hyung and went up,there he found it. He opened instagram and searched Taehyung's username. He quickly followed him and opened his recent photo where he looked like a fucken angel. Literally so fine.

"Yeah I do, here you go" Jeongguk showed them the phone screen. His brother's eyes widened when he saw him because Taehyung was that pretty and handsome. Even his mom saw him and her gaze softened. Despite Taehyung aura in real life,his instagram made him look like some innocent cute guy.

"about thinking you are an idol? scratch that,he is the one who actually looks like one. Seri would freak out" Jaewon told them,making Jeongguk chuckle.

"He is a really handsome man Gukkie, how did you met him?" His mother spoke up for once after seeing the picture. Jeongguk decided to answer it truthfully. "At Jin Hyung's Bar"

His mother raised her eyebrow at Jeongguk. That's when Jeongguk realised what he blurted out. His mom maybe or maybe not support the idea of him singing in the bar. She thinks her son isn't that poor that he needs to make money by singing in some bar. She even gave her son a position in her company but Jeongguk refused. 

He is after all his mother's son. She is just as stubborn as him as she did not back down. It was either work with her or stop singing in the bar. Jeongguk chose the latter.

"Jeongguk, what did I tell you about singing at that bar?" His mother said in a stern tone. Jeongguk put down the chopsticks as he looked up at her.

"I am sorry mom but i really like singing there seriously what is even wrong with that?"

"Jeon Jeongguk you are my son,you can't go around singing in some cheap bars" She raised her voice at him,making Jeongguk mad. He is not a kid that she could boss around.

"It's not some cheap bar mom,it's Jin Hyung's bar and it's really high class,why does it bother you so much. Or is it about your reputation ? don't want your rich friends to know that mighty Jeon Sumin's son works in a bar? is that what this is about?" He claimed with a straight face. Her mother remaining silent just proves how he is right. 

Even Jaewon felt kind of annoyed with this conversation,his mom was stopping his hyung from doing something he loves to do because of her reputation and he really doesn't like it. He doesn't want to intervene in this conversation.

"It's not that Guk,its-its that i could get you a position in my company with a higher pay why don't you just accept that?"

"THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO!!" He yelled at her. "mom im sorry i really am but fuck i cannot take this anymore. You know the main reason i left this house? it's because of you,you prioritize your high class friend over your children. You wanted to attend every single brunch and party but refused to be there for a dinner with your sons. We don't have a father,that man left us so we pretend like he is dead and we are used to it but at some point it got same with you. You are never fucking home,should we pretend the same with you?" He paused for a second as rage was burning through jis his eyes.

"Jeongguk control your language,im your mother you cannot speak to me like that"

"are you my mother? i get it, i don't blame you for being home when i was a teenager but now too? you are a CEO mom you have time now you don't have work overtime or anything. You didn't give me motherly love when I was little and I didn't mind it because someone had to stay late to provide for us. But what's your excuse for not being home for Jaewon? Nothing. First the problem was money and now is reputation. I don't want to work with you,I don't want to be around your rich colleagues or anywhere near your rich life because it irks me" He was letting it all out now. He pretended he was ok but he really wasn't.

Still no response from His mother.

"Im done,thank you inviting me to dinner Mrs.Jeon i will take my leave" He got up from his seat as he took his jacket and walked out of the room going to the main door.

Jaewon got up too and went after his brother. Jeongguk opened the door and got out. He was walking to his car when he heard his brother yell his name.

"Hyung!!!" He saw Jaewon,standing on the porch,having a frown on his face. He instantly felt bad to fight in front of him.

"Jaewon i'm sorry for all that,i didn't wanted it to end like this"

"its okay hyung but...are you okay? i have never seen you yell like that '' His 13 year old brother was really caring for his age. It was Jeongguk who raised him anyway so he can say he got it from him.

"im,just a little mad at her"

"don't be hyung. I know she is wrong but I know she just wants good for you and she really is better than before so don't be too harsh on her but I'm not taking her side you have every right to be mad. We all three just have each other so let's just forgive and move on,how about that?" Jeongguk swears he softened at his brother words.

He quickly ran up to him and engulfed him in a hug. He ruffled his hair and kissed his head. "Wonnie you have gotten so smart and since its you i will take your word and forgive her i just need some time ok?" He said to him as he heard a muffled hum come from his brother who had his face buried in his hyungs chest.

"I love you and...tell mom I love her too. I will go now" 

It was past midnight at the point. Tonight was one of those rare nights where you could see the full moon. The chilly weather outside and the cold breeze,just another night in the city of seoul. Taehyung was wide awake. He just couldn't sleep.

He has insomnia,he has difficulty sleeping at night and even if he sleeps,he has nightmares,consistent nightmares about his past decisions he still regrets to this day. Literally one of the reasons that keeps him awake. He has been depressed for as long as he can remember,he doesn't even know the last time he felt loved.

Even the word feels like poison on his tongue. He felt it once and that was automatically the worst era of his life. He promised himself to not ever fall in love again. 

Tomorrow is the day,the mission he has to lead. He is so fucking anxious he can't even describe it. This tight feeling in my chest of what if i fail,their boss would kill him. He knows that old man won't even hesitate. He can't fuck this up. 

He got off his bed and went to the balcony of his apartment. He saw the city still alive,Seoul never sleeps. The noise of the city just makes him feel irritated. He closed his eyes and just tried to relax. 

A very familiar melody got stuck in his head. He can't pinpoint where he heard it from so he started to hum a little to remember because he hates it when he can't remember shit. 

"hmmm...still with you" Taehyung whispered as his breath hitched at the last few words. He scoffed. "motherfucker" he hissed as he felt annoyed. 

Jeon fucking Jeongguk. That guy is so unforgettable. He lives on Taehyung's mind rent free. Taehyung hates it so much he can't even describe it. His pretty little lips,those doe eyesxthat cute nose...what the fuck is he thinking. Is it because Jeongguk just felt different? it can't be. He was just sexually frustrated.

Taehyung still remembers every single second of that night spent with the younger boy. Every little kiss,every single compliment. The way his touch felt so good against his soft skin. The way he was so fucking gentle with Taehyung,they were so intimate.

"You are the most beautiful boy i have ever seen Taehyung"

"So pretty,so handsome,just for me,all for me"

"Aren't you too eager,love? just stay relaxed,let me pleasure you"

Taehyung cursed at himself for remembering every single line that guy said. He was so gentle with Taehyung and for the first time,the sex felt really fucking good and intimate. He had that touch which will make you weak on your knees and he treated the older like he was so special.

Taehyung will never admit it but he wants to feel that all again. He wants to feel l̶o̶v̶e̶d̶ like that again. His words coming out of his mouth in such a soft tone was all it took to make him weak. 

 ✤-----------------------------------------✤