•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧

EMPTINESS WAS ALL Addie felt the next morning. Not sad, angry, or confused. Just... empty. Her plan to tell Billy everything after the party, which would've been today, backfired. Because now he hated her and thought something else completely different was going on. And as much as she wanted to reach out, she was also really hurt by how he treated her.

Maybe... maybe it was better this way? It seemed like things were getting bad again with her and Will. If all of this stuff really wasn't over, at least Billy would be spared from it.

Addie had woken up before Nancy so she slipped out of bed and headed to the kitchen, and she saw Will and Mike sitting at the table eating a bowl of cereal. Mike kept quiet even though he had a ton of questions.

"You know we have to tell mom, right? We don't have to mention we went our separate ways for a little while, but we have to tell her what happened." Addie asked quietly. Will nodded, not making eye contact.

She guessed that Mike had told him that she also had an episode. As she sat at the table with the 2 boys, she was thankful that Mike pulled Will into a conversation about the candy they'd gotten last night. She sat there, thinking about Billy.

It already seemed like a lifetime ago that things were so good between them even though it had only been a day. And now... they were nothing according to him. All because he was so stubborn that he couldn't listen to her. Addie also hated herself, because she was so close to blurting it out last night when they were in the bathroom. I almost died last year, she wanted to say.

Despite his anger at the misunderstanding, deep down that fear was there. That fear of the small possibility he'd think she was lying or that he'd leave her. And he did, anyway, so it looks like she was right not to tell him.

She's finally pulled from her thoughts when Mike shyly asks if Addie will drive them to the arcade so they can meet Lucas and Dustin due to their unexpected day off from school.

"You might have to ask Nancy, I was dropped off here so I don't have my car."

"The arcade will be closed by the time she's finally out of bed."

Addie thought for a minute. "Well I'm not making the call, because you guys want to go. One of you call Jonathan and ask him to come pick us up."

Half an hour later, the boys and Addie exit the house and get into Jonathan's car. He says he's going to meet a friend later, and if he takes them to the arcade he won't be able to pick them up. Addie says to just take them home, and she'll take them to the arcade. Part of her wants to do nothing but lay in bed and just be sad and cry, but a bigger part of her needs a distraction.

"Give me half an hour to shower and change, then I'll take you both and you can stay as long as you want. Deal?" Addie laughs when neither boy looks up from the t.v., and she heads to her room to grab clothes before taking a shower.

Exactly half an hour later, she emerges from the bathroom, ready to go.

She wasn't going to do her makeup at first, but then decided if she didn't feel good, she might as well at least look good. The boys immediately jumped off of the couch, and headed out to Addie's car. When they arrived and Addie settled in to her usual booth, she saw that Dustin and Lucas were already there, trying to get the top score back on Dig Dug.

Pulling her copy of The Great Gatsby out of her backpack, Addie spent the next 10 minutes reading. But her thoughts, mainly involving a certain person, kept distracting her. So she sighed and shut the book, putting it away.

She'd give anything to go back to the party and somehow convince Billy to listen to her. And she also hated that Billy only heard her and Steve's conversation at that certain exact part. If he'd gotten there any earlier or stayed even 10 seconds later, he'd know a bit more, enough at least that he'd know Addie wasn't cheating on him.

Then again, last they talked about relationships was when he said maybe he'd someday be worthy of being in one with her. Since then it was flirting and basically acting like a couple, Billy sneaking over most nights, but they never actually said they were in a relationship. Truthfully, Addie had always been hopeful that he'd ask her to be his girlfriend. But... that's out the window.

"Umm... is it okay if I sit here?" Addie looks up to see Max standing in front of her, and she looks nervous.

"Yeah, yeah of course." Addie is confused. Why would Max be nervous to talk to her? Unless... "Look, I don't know what Billy told you but I swear I—"

Max shakes her head. "No, I believe you. As soon as he was upset and I asked him why, and he actually answered, I thought he was making it up. But I can tell he genuinely believes it."

"I... I went through something last year. And I was finally gonna tell Billy about it the day after the party. You wanna know why I didn't do it sooner? I just wanted one last night where he just knew me as this normal girl. Because I know that once I tell him... I mean I knew that once I told him, it would change things."

"Change things how?"

Screw it. What else did Addie have to lose, she already lost Billy.

"I almost died. I was hurt, really bad. Actually my heart stopped once in the ambulance and once at the hospital so technically I did die, twice. And Steve saved my life. He's the one that found my injury at the hospital and he kept pressure on one of my wounds and I was told later that if he hadn't, I would have died. I don't know how much Billy told you, but he overheard Steve ask me if I had told Billy anything or how much I told him or something. That's what he was referring to. It's because of how it happened, it's not exactly a conversation starter."

"But are you completely better now??" Max was worried.

"I'm... working on it. Some days are better than others. And with Steve, he's my best friend. Has been for years, but there's literally nothing romantic about our friendship. I never gave Billy any reason to doubt me or treat me like shit. He heard the wrong part of our conversation and I was just thinking about this earlier. If he had stayed to listen even fifteen seconds later, he'd have heard enough to know I wasn't cheating on him with Steve."

"I can't believe you almost died," Max whispered. "And Billy is an idiot."

"Maybe it's my fault for waiting so long to tell him. I was just waiting because like I said I wanted one more normal night with him. But look how my plan turned out," Addie shrugged, trying not to get too upset.

"I'm sorry I brought it up I just... God he's such an asshole."

They're interrupted when all 4 boys come running over, squeezing themselves all into the same both with Addie and Max.

"Madmax!" Dustin points, and Addie can tell he's actually impressed.

"About time you figured it out."

All of them turn to look at Addie. "You knew?!"

"Umm... her name is Max... the username is madmax... that score wasn't there until after she moved here. The real question is why did it take YOU so long to figure it out?"

It wasn't quite lunchtime yet, but everyone was hungry. Since Steve wasn't there to be conned into doing it, they all convinced Addie to order a large pizza to share. Mention of him reminded her that she needed to check on him at some point, make sure he was okay too.

After they finished lunch, Mike convinced Addie to play games with them, seeing how she just sat in the booth spending too long staring at the same page of her book. And that's how they spent the rest of the afternoon. Max was the first to leave, she glanced at the clock and practically ran outside, barely saying goodbye. Addie knew Billy was the one picking her up, she couldn't imagine Max reacting like that to her mom.

Addie then offered to give everyone a ride home. Dustin said he was going to play one more round of Dig Dug and then his mom would probably be there. He insisted that they didn't need to wait for him, and practically pushed them out the door. He knew he needed to concentrate alone if he had any chance of beating Max's high score.

Mike was dropped off first, and Addie said to tell Nancy thanks for letting her share her bed, even though she was asleep the entire time and might've not known that Addie was even there, and that she'd call her later. Lucas was next, and after he thanked Addie for the ride, he told Will to be near his walkie talkie later so they could talk strategy for the computer game they both had.

Once Addie pulled into their driveway next to Jonathan's car, she turned to face her little brother. "Do you want to tell mom yet?"

"No..."

"I know it sucks and we'll probably have to go back to the lab when she finds out but we can't keep this from her. We weren't together so I don't know if it happened at the same time, but that's now twice we've both were back there on the same night. And if things get worse and she finds out we kept this from her... you know what'll happen."

"I know. Can we just wait a little longer though? I hate when she treats us different, and she always does after an episode. Plus you know we're gonna have to go back to the lab."

As much as she wanted to say no, they had to tell their mom right now, Addie didn't want to pressure him. She knew he needed to want to tell their mom.

"Fine. But we're telling her by the end of this weekend."

"Deal. And have you... have you talked to Billy? You usually spend your free time with him, and I like when you hang out with us and come to the arcade, but... you didn't stop because of me, to watch me, did you?"

"No, I promise that's not why. I haven't spoken to Billy in a while, that's all." She didn't want to drag another person into her nonexistent relationship drama.

Neither of them was surprised when they walked in and saw Bob sitting on the couch. Addie hadn't seen his car, but figured he must've parked further up the street. She really liked him, he was good to all of them, but especially to her mom.

When Joyce realized that Addie and Will had come home, she was relieved. She knew it couldn't always be like this, her on edge whenever they left the house, but for right now she couldn't help it.

There was still a tiny part of her that wanted all 3 of her kids to just stay home all the time if they weren't at school. But she knew they needed their independence. And she liked that Addie had been spending more time with Will.

She knew quite a bit of what they'd gone through, having been involved in parts of it herself, but suspected they were keeping details from her that they thought would scare her. She'd heard them whispering at night though, when Will would drag his sleeping bag into Addie's room. She always stood by the door and waited until she heard laughter or any sign of happiness before walking away.

So long as they were all fine, and for the most part, okay, she'd try to get better at letting them out of the house.

"Dinner will be ready in about an hour, I'll come call you guys."

The hour went by quickly. In being out all last night and that day, Addie had slacked on her homework. So the entire time was spent at her desk, and she surprisingly managed to get it all done just minutes before Bob knocked on all of their doors to say that dinner was ready.

She didn't know why, but even as dishes were being cleared, Addie already knew this was one of her favorite family dinners. They seemed to laugh more than usual. At one point Jonathan got up and got his camera to take some candid photos of everyone.

When she laid down for bed that night, she was surprised that she felt happy. Last night was... terrible. But today was a little better, and she was hopeful that tomorrow would be too.

Apparently though, all good things must come to an end, because after all of the good stuff, Addie ended up having a nightmare.

It was always the same one.

•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧.˚ *•̩̩͙ ✩. •̩̩͙*˚⁺‧