When people stared

With accusive eyes,

Gazing overhead

And waving goodbye,

I didn't care

For I learned young

To stay quiet

With tight lips

Eyes wide

And hands tied.

They will throw me down

If I try to fly.

Childhood is foreign

Where does it r

eign?

Come take me back

And give me some slack.

Unchain my shackles

And clear my name.

Make me precious-

Too much so

For this cruel world.

Make them love me

And love eachother

Take back all the pain

And leave what remains.

I froze my heart

And I froze my mind

But the pain inside

Won't subside.

They called me an old soul

In a child's skin.

But now I'm old

With a child's sin.

Even at a young age

I hated my life.

I thought if I lived

I'd go insane

And here I am

With a war in my brain.

Hand me a pen

I'll write you a gun

You can kill me with words

Like you're having fun.

I'll have an internal hell

While I decieve you

Saying

"I feel nothing"

And you'll think it's true.

Children play games

And

I had rules:

I can't cry if I'm sad

They'll hate me more

I can't smile if I'm glad

What am I happy for?

Don't ever hope

My little heart sore

That's like tying a rope

And leaving the floor.

Don't let them love you

Then beat you blue

Because if they ever loved you,

You wouldn't be bruised.

I wanted to win

So I made them think

I can't be controlled

And I was broken.

Every kindness was hallow

Broken promises would follow.

I learned to trust for a day

Then my spirit was taken away.

Where's my childhood dreams

Of becoming a queen?

Instead I'm broken glass

Puting blame on the cracks

Saying I was attacked

Running from the fact

That I made all the rules

And I followed them,

Believing I'd be a fool

If I let them win.

But maybe I was born to lose

So victory could be sweet

But I won the game

Since age eight

So now I suffer

From dangerous dreams

Of closing eyes

And finding peace.