***

"...Joongie?"

"Hm?"

"Your mother and Sungjong... They had the same marks as you on their backs..."

"...Yes."

"Did they also transform?"

"They...they didn't. So they thought they were safe. When I was born however, I didn't have those marks. So...so mama thought I was going to turn out normal."

"But you are normal, Hongjoong."

"We both know I am not."

"What will it take for you to finally believe me?"

"Hmm, well...maybe another kiss?"

"You're so greedy for them. But it's okay. Come here."

***

The following Spring is a fruitful one, full of blooming flowers, welcome sunlight and a fresh type of atmosphere that Seonghwa doesn't think he can ever get enough of.

As he wakes up on his sixteenth birthday, tangled up in the blankets with Hongjoong's face pressed against his chest and the early peach sunlight pouring over them through the opened window, beautiful is the first and only thing he can think of.

It really is beautiful; the cozy air, the steady beating of Hongjoong's heart against his, the way it tickles when Hongjoong's thick lashes flutter over his shoulder-blade. It's funny how everything ultimately comes back to being about Hongjoong, and despite the younger now being the bigger one of the two, he still fits into Seonghwa's arms like he's done all these years, allowing the older boy to hug him close through the cold, perilous nights.

Seonghwa gives in to the urge to stroke Hongjoong's dark hair, admiring the many moles scattered across the slope of his neck and shoulders. The younger stirs at this, and then his eyes blink open, adjusting themselves to the minimal lighting.

Seonghwa smiles at him. "Good morning."

Hongjoong beams. He leans in, aiming for Seonghwa's lips but misses and instead kisses the shorter's chin. He giggles at his mishap, which Seonghwa can't help but grin at. Hongjoong is just too cute.

"M'sorry I missed," Hongjoong apologizes, voice deeper and slurred due to sleep.

"You can always try again," Seonghwa tells him.

Hongjoong hums, but shakes his head. "I'm too tired. Maybe you can kiss me instead."

Seonghwa does, and it's slow, every bit as smouldering and as fervent as it'd been the first time. It always is, no matter how many times they've kissed each other.

Each kiss feels new and exciting, shooting addictive sparks straight to Seonghwa's core.

Hongjoong grins into the kiss, and when Seonghwa opens his eyes, he's still smiling, looking absolutely breathtaking.

Seonghwa feels like he can really get used to this.

That is, until Hongjoong lands a big, wet kiss smack-dab in the middle of Seonghwa's cheek, causing the older to grimace.

Hongjoong guffaws, sliding off the mattress and out of Seonghwa's arms. "Happy birthday, Seongie! Race you to the kitchen!"

Seonghwa scoffs, but he's already flipping off the blankets, ready to pounce on the younger partly because of that messy kiss, and partly because it's Hongjoong, and Hongjoong can get him to do anything.

Yeon's inside the kitchen by the time the two teens clumsily skate into the vicinity, nearly giving the poor woman a heart attack with all the noise and commotion about who won and who lost.

"Quiet," she orders, and immediately Seonghwa and Hongjoong turn silent, both boys well aware of how intimidating and stern she can get if her house rules are not followed.

When they've finally calmed down, Yeon smiles at them. "Good morning children, and happy birthday Seonghwa. You know how it goes: you get a free day since Hongjoong got his last year on his birthday too. And there will be no objections."

Hongjoong and Seonghwa nod, but within they're both teeming with happiness at what the rest of the day entails for them.

"Good." Yeon gestures at the small table they all usually have their meals at. "Go take your seats while I serve breakfast."

Seonghwa perks up, remembering the start of the year when he'd caught the woman coughing inside her chambers, appearing quite tired. "I can help -- "

"No, dear." Yeon waves her hand. "This is your day. And there's nothing I love more than serving food to people who especially deserve it."

The matter gets closed at that, but Seonghwa and Hongjoong do their small part in setting the table. After this, Seonghwa pulls Hongjoong's chair out for him, and then his, which Yeon sees.

If she's noticed how exceedingly close the two boys have gotten lately, she's never spoken up about it, her attitude the same as when she'd first met them many nights ago.

Which Seonghwa is grateful for, and if she had reacted badly, he wouldn't have hesitated to leave if it meant he and Hongjoong could still be together.

Breakfast is tastier this morning, even if it's the usual meat, legumes and vegetables. Maybe it's due to the amber light of the sky shining down on the fields, maybe it's Yeon's wisecracking and her loving words and gestures, or maybe it's Hongjoong being next to him, arms brushing his as he laughs freely, crinkled eyes shimmering with happiness. Maybe it's all of the above.

And Seonghwa knows he wouldn't mind an eternity of this.

***

Seonghwa bathes first, so as Hongjoong's busy washing up, he enters their shared bedroom and shifts through the cupboards for what to wear.

Most of the clothes he'd worn back at Empyrea he's outgrown by now, resulting in a considerable difference in a majority of his current attires. He doesn't dress like a noble anymore, and although it'd affected him a lot more earlier, filling his chest with unbearable, bittersweet nostalgia, Seonghwa has already accepted the change with open arms.

Pulling on a grape coloured shirt and pants (mostly because Hongjoong had said in passing years ago that he looked best in purple), Seonghwa then rummages through the drawers, pushing past books and quills before coming across the things he needs.

He pulls three very small containers out of the opening, planting them on the surface. Each contains powder and paint with a different colour from the rest, Seonghwa's creation after learning about it from one of the books he'd read through.

The beige, almost white powdered one is for Hongjoong, made to temporarily erase the tattoo-like marks stretching across the skin of his back. The other two are red and baby pink respectively, ones made recently and hidden from Hongjoong because of Seonghwa's indecisiveness over them.

He'd read over the ways women dolled themselves up several nights ago, and remembered the way his chest stirred at the sketched images, his thoughts straying to how those pretty colours would look on his skin instead of dry parchment.

And here he is.

Seonghwa chews his lip, mulling it over once more. He's sure Yeon will have nothing negative to say if he did try anything, but it's Hongjoong he's worried about. Especially his reaction.

It's your birthday, the younger's voice echoes in Seonghwa's head at that moment, followed by one of his lovely giggles. You deserve to always be happy on your birthday.

Seonghwa flicks open the two containers. I think this will make me happy.

Seonghwa doesn't apply much of the makeup to his face, just enough to douse the apples of his cheeks a faint pink and redden his lips. By the time he's adding in the finishing touches -- a fuchsia pink ribbon tied around his dark hair -- a new person steps into the room, a woolen towel wrapped around their hips.

Seonghwa stiffens and turns, and there Hongjoong stands, staring at him like he's just seen a ghost.

Seonghwa's stomach lurches. "Does it look that bad?"

"No." Hongjoong quickly shakes his head. "You look... You look like heaven."

The weight on Seonghwa's stomach lightens, and heat crawls up his neck, right to the tips of his ears. "Really?"

Hongjoong grins, eyes trained on nothing else but Seonghwa's face. "Mhm, you really do. I never lie about things like this."

Seonghwa rolls his eyes as a way to distract himself from the wetness soaking his lashes. Hongjoong's acceptance means so much more to him than the younger will ever know. "Go get dressed. We have a lot of things to do in town today."

Hongjoong salutes him, searching for the most proper clothes to wear for the occasion.

Seonghwa spends the time splayed on the bed, Hongjoong's words playing in his mind like a broken record.

You look like heaven.

Seonghwa giggles.

***

Yeon, along with coins and scarfs to protect them from the slightly glacial spring breeze, hands Seonghwa a small rolled-up note as soon as he and Hongjoong are done getting ready.

"Give it to the man that owns Crescent library, Sir Kwon," the woman tells him. "He's always there so whenever you arrive at the place is fine. He'll give you a set of books you'll definitely love, free of charge. Consider them my birthday gift to you."

"Thank you," Seonghwa replies, showcasing his gratitude. He honestly doesn't know what he would've done if he and Hongjoong hadn't met her and if she hadn't become a part of their lives. "Thank you so much."

Yeon pats his back, her touch fond and motherly. She brings Hongjoong close as well, and they have something akin to a group hug before they break apart, going their separate ways.

The small-scale town a thirty minute walk away from the farm is engaged in all corners, plenty common folk up and about the area, chatting and buying and selling. It's only the start of noon, yet the streets are bustling with people, the atmosphere busy and high-strung.

Seonghwa makes sure he and Hongjoong stick to the places that draw little attention to themselves, but it's hard to stay serious and on-edge when he can feel even Hongjoong's enthusiasm in his bones, the younger's euphoric smiles working wonders in loosening him up.

Of course, Hongjoong never strays far from the food aisles, forever an avid lover of eating, but never has a go at buying any of the pastries or fried meats without Seonghwa agreeing to it first.

And of course, Seonghwa finds it impossible to say no to him.

Along with the good food, the town has a spot abundant with flourishing flowers and chirping birds specifically made for people who want to do a little bit more with their day here.

"Hongjoong -- oh my goodness!" Seonghwa almost wants the ground to swallow him whole when Hongjoong somehow ends up at an enclosure designated for people who want to pay to ride horses.

The younger boy had managed to sneak his way to the young man in charge of the whole thing -- and slap a few coins in his hands in the process -- and now he's currently strapped onto a large, muscly stallion with a rich black coat, a wide grin plastered on his face.

"Hongjoong," Seonghwa mutters this time around, voice much softer. He's anxious, rightfully so, because he doesn't want the younger's marks showing and getting them in danger, even if it's so stupid that they have to hide that part of Hongjoong in the first place. Hongjoong may be different, but different doesn't mean bad --

"Thinking of getting a horse of your own?" A new voice enters, low and slicked with interest.

Seonghwa comes back to the present, meeting the dark brown eyes of the blond man standing in front of the enclosure.

He shakes his head, ushering a barely-there smile. "No, thank you -- "

"You sure?" The man drawls, head cocked to the side underneath his wide-brimmed hat. "I think you'd look magnificent riding on one of my father's horses."

"It's okay. I'm good here." Seonghwa shakes his head again, looks off to the side to see Hongjoong still parading on the black stallion around the grass, a look of pure bliss on his features. It makes Seonghwa feel a little better about this situation; he doesn't mind going through an uncomfortable moment if it means Hongjoong can get to smile.

Something warm touches his elbow right then, and Seonghwa's head snaps up, stilling when he notices how close the man's gotten. The situation's even worse at the handful of townspeople currently milling about, unaware of the scene happening before them.

"You're awfully pretty for a boy," the blond man says, lips quirked deviously. "I think I'd like to get to know you better."

Seonghwa's jaw hardens, his right hand flying to the satchel strapped to his form. He's got all the money and other necessities to make this outing a success, as well as a sharpened gladius, waiting to be used.

Anger boils through Seonghwa at the man's disguting pushiness, his comment making him feel dirty and wrong.

Hongjoong's called him pretty too countless of times, but not in this way. Not like this.

If only the man and Seonghwa were somewhere more secluded --

"Daeyeol! I'm done!"

It's Hongjoong himself, midnight hair wild and cheeks pink as he loudly pants, hand on his knees.

The blond man removes himself from Seonghwa's side at the nick of time, casting Hongjoong an easy smile. Or maybe it's just because of Hongjoong's tall, broader frame.

"Have a nice time up there with Sheila, boy?" The man asks, whilst Seonghwa has to get through his pounding, painful heartbeat.

Hongjoong just grabs Seonghwa's hand, leading them out of the area to the older's surprise.

As soon as they're a lengthy distance away from most of the hubbub, Hongjoong's placid expression shatters, his eyes clouded over with worry.

"He didn't..." he examines Seonghwa's face, his body, "he didn't do anything right?"

Seonghwa exhales the breath he'd been holding. "He didn't." Forcing on a smile, he adds, "And thanks."

"For what?" Hongjoong's palm lingers on the small of Seonghwa's back, effortless and gentle. Seonghwa instantly eases up. It's something only the younger can do.

For helping me, once again. For always knowing when I feel pain and discomfort, and taking them away. For always being there.

"Thanks for not uttering my name to that disturbing man," Seonghwa tells Hongjoong instead. "I thought I might've had to use my sword this time around."

He says it in a joking manner, but a larger part of him means it. Hongjoong knows he means it too, but doesn't comment on it. He just slings an arm around Seonghwa's shoulders and swiftly kisses below his ear, and Seonghwa's able to smile a little easier now.

"I'm thirsty," Hongjoong says. "I know we have water, but I saw a lady selling these big creamy drinks with ice and I think I just fell in love."

Seonghwa chuckles, his confrontation with that blond man from before forgotten about at the moment. "I can't believe you just said you've fallen in love with a drink. But then again I'm seriously not surprised."

"We both know you'll always be my first love," Hongjoong replies him so calmly without hesitation that Seonghwa thinks he heard wrong at first.

"Hongjoong?"

Hongjoong twirls the small mirror in his hand, before shrugging and it back with the others at the stall they're in front of. "Hm? What?"

Seonghwa hesitates. "...It's nothing."

***

The town looks absolutely astronomical this evening, with twinkling golden stars and amethyst shaded skies, silver toned clouds floating across like little squiggly ships. The lit lamps are a poignant yellow, casting amber halos on the stone paths and buildings where there aren't any shadows present.

It looks like Seonghwa's best dream yet.

Hongjoong's next to him as they make their way to Crescent library, talking about something whilst the setting sun shines behind him like its his own personal crown, and it's fitting because nothing else can ever come close to how stunning and celestial Hongjoong is.

His physical appearance doesn't matter -- in fact it's never mattered from the beginning -- because Seonghwa knows Hongjoong's heart first and foremost, and knows it will always remain the same.

***

Sir Kwon is shorter than expected, with shoulder-length mousy hair, a round face and kind, yet timeless eyes.

He reads over the small note Seonghwa hands him, and then returns after a few minutes with three books.

Seonghwa assumes them to be storybooks or something along those lines, and freezes a bit when he sees their titles.

'Uncovering Reapers. What to learn.'
'Aurora's Lake short stories.'
'Treasure Trove: 3rd Edition.'

Seonghwa stares at Sir Kwon, noting the way he watches Hongjoong. He's instinctively tempted to do something about it, but when the man smiles, he realizes there's no harmful intent hiding behind that face.

"I got the books." Seonghwa says when he sees Yeon after returning to the barn with Hongjoong. The said boy is presently asleep, but Seonghwa couldn't. Not after the first few pages he'd read.

Yeon nods, nonplussed at Seonghwa's confusion and upset demeanor. "Yes, I am aware."

Seonghwa's hands fist the fabric of his sleepwear, trying to quieten his thunderous heartbeat by inhaling a deep breath. "Do...do you know about Hongjoong?"

A second passes, and then Yeon nods, most of her weight on her sturdy cane. "I do."

"But you never said anything all this time."

"I was waiting for the right opportunity," Yeon counters. "I wanted you two to be old enough."

Seonghwa's breath hitches. "What..."

"I think you can be able to find Aurora's Lake," Yeon says, voice barely above a whisper. "I think you can be able to help free Hongjoong of his curse."

"It's not a curse."

The old woman shakes her head. "It is. Whether you like it or not, it is a curse people just like Hongjoong will have to live with forever once the first Shift starts. And nothing can reverse it except for that enchanted lake. Which is why I want to help you both find it."

Embers of frustration burn within Seonghwa, charring his insides with bitterness and fury. "There is nothing wrong with Hongjoong. He's fine just the way he is -- "

"He's the one that has to live with the guilt of all the souls he's taken," Yeon interrupts, her tone growing sharper, more shrill. "Do you really think he deserves to feel that way for the remainder of his life?"

"He's okay with it now. He told me."

"No he is not, Seonghwa," Yeon answers. "We both know he's not. And the sooner you come across Aurora's Lake, the better for him before it gets worse."

"I..." Seonghwa bites his lip so hard he tastes metal, but he can't care less. Not when his head is spinning. "I don't know how I will be able to find that place."

"You will, dear," Yeon whispers. She smiles, but her eyes are exhausted. Fatigued.

She suddenly stoops forward, her coughs like whips as she covers her lips with her arm, trying to muffle the sound.

Seonghwa rushes to her, supporting her body. "A-Are you okay, Miss Yeon?"

Yeon coughs again, and gulps, squeezing her eyes shut for a few moments. She then sighs, but it's breathless and shallow. "I'm fine, boy. No need to get so worried."

Seonghwa isn't convinced, however. In fact, he's highly concerned, anxiety twisting his stomach. "I will make you some tea."

"There's no need, Seonghwa."

"But there is," Seonghwa tells her, the urgency in his tone catching her attention. "I don't want you getting sick or hurt. Hongjoong doesn't want that either. You've been such a big help to us, and you're our family. We need you here. Please."

Yeon softly swats his hands away and huffs, blinking back tears. "Alright, alright. I'll drink your tea."

Seonghwa makes himself smile, for her sake. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

***

Winter is harsher than ever the year after. Sleek, stubborn ice stretches over the fields, the trees submerged in snow that stretches all the way to the tip of their bare, fruitless branches.

There is no sun, large, smoke-grey clouds taking its place across the sky despite it being only the beginning of a new day.

Seonghwa can't sleep. Slipping out of Hongjoong's arms as gently and as carefully as he can, he leaves the bedroom, wanting to just take a walk or something.

At the towering picket fences separating the rest of the barn from the outside world is Yeon, her long grey hair distinguishable.

Before her is a younger woman with braided black hair and a long sword strapped to her side, her pale face cold and unmoving as she listens to whatever Yeon is telling her. Two other women stand behind her, decked in blue uniforms that resemble servant attire.

The dark haired woman looks up then, her frosty blue eyes piercing Seonghwa's chest like a dagger.

He moves quickly, shielding himself from the both of them as he makes his way back to the barn. He can't stop thinking about what he just saw.

Who is that woman?

***

"Sooyoung," Yeon tells Seonghwa and Hongjoong at the kitchen in two hours. Breakfast is slightly later than usual, but it's not like any of them mind. "She's my first, and only daughter."

"Is she coming here?" Hongjoong questions, playing with Seonghwa's fingers under the table.

Yeon pauses, and clears her throat. "She will, because she'll soon own all of this."

Seonghwa's heart freezes over at her words. He can feel Hongjoong's shock as well. "What do you mean?"

"I am..." Yeon clears her throat again. "I am only getting older day by day. I...I think it's about time she takes over."

"We will all still stay here, right?" Hongjoong's asking, whilst Seonghwa's thoughts start to race. "She'll only just manage it now?"

Yeon doesn't answer immediately, which slowly confirms Seonghwa's worst fears.

He remembers how over the months Yeon had given them things they sometimes didn't feel they necessarily needed, an action that seemed so inconsequential before. Now, as it rushes back to Seonghwa all at once, he feels like he's drowning underwater, losing his ability to move or breathe.

"Hwa?" Hongjoong gasps in alarm, fingers hurriedly brushing over his cheekbone. "Seonghwa, you're crying."

Seonghwa tries to stop, but it proves exceedingly difficult as he witnesses Yeon looking down at the table, guilt and sorrow stitched into her expression.

***

"Miss Yeon is dying," Seonghwa speaks lying back-first on his and Hongjoong's bed. It's nighttime, the entire farm eerily quiet. "Her health is failing."

Hongjoong opens his eyes, his irises resembling a starless sky. He exhales. "...I know. She's grown weaker lately, and...and sometimes I spot her coughing into her arm."

Seonghwa can see how much this is affecting the younger. In fact, it's affecting him too and the worst thing is that he can't save her health, no matter how hard he tries.

He thinks back to what Yeon has told him about Aurora's Lake and its supposed ability to cure all ailments and curses.

"We need to be ready to leave," Seonghwa says, facing Hongjoong to gauge his expression. "I don't think her daughter would want us to keep staying here once she moves in."

Hongjoong inhales a terse breath, nodding quickly. "I -- I know."

Seonghwa entwines their fingers. "No matter what happens, you'll always have me."

"And you'll always have me," the younger responds, but it's clear he's trying his best to hold it together.

Seonghwa understands him, he really does.

***

Yeon dies the day before Seonghwa's eighteenth birthday.

Like she'd known that it'd happen, she gathered Hongjoong and Seonghwa at her small library days prior, retelling one of her engaging stories for the last time.

Seonghwa takes it hard, and this time Hongjoong's the one who takes it upon himself to comfort and get him through it.

Sooyoung arrives a week later with her servants for her mother's burial, not even bothering to acknowledge Seonghwa and Hongjoong's existence.

It's only the start of Spring, yet it feels like the middle of Winter.

Sooyoung makes it known soon enough she'll accommodate them only for two weeks more, and after that they will have to leave.

It's something Seonghwa isn't taken by, but he can't get over the unfairness of it all.

He does some packing with Hongjoong for the duration of the first week, and tells the younger whenever he can that things will end fine even if he doesn't think he believes it just yet.

***

Thursday evening, Seonghwa is on the bed immersed in the large map he'd found in the Treasure Trove book after realizing it physically described the entire town and more, even down to his childhood village Empyrea.

The door opens and Hongjoong steps in, stretching his arms far above his head as he yawns.

Seonghwa chuckles, rubbing his strained eyes. "Tired already?"

"A bit." Hongjoong sighs. "I'm going to really miss Treasure and the other horses. I really am."

"I don't think they'd feel the same, unfortunately," Seonghwa teases, because joking pushes reality away a bit longer. Joking doesn't make Seonghwa's chest feel seconds away from caving in.

"Just for that," Hongjoong pulls off his vest, "I'm gonna cuddle you to death."

A gasp sounds off behind the door, unfamiliar and high-pitched.

Both boys turn, catching the horrified face of one of Sooyoung's many servants.

Seonghwa springs to his feet and stands in front of Hongjoong while the younger puts his shirt back on, but the damage's already been done.

The young servant's eyes are like saucers, her body trembling as she regards Hongjoong with deep-rooted fear.

"R-Reaper," she stammers, about to turn on her heel. "Reaper!"

Seonghwa sees red and faster than he could ever imagine, he's unsheathing his gladius, descending on the woman.

"Seonghwa!"

Seonghwa's breaths are haggard as blood spills, and then he's stumbling, staring wide-eyed at the bleeding corpse now below him.

"S-Seonghwa..." Hongjoong grabs his arm, pulling him back.

"She -- she was going to tell," Seonghwa feels like he's suffocating. "I had no choice -- "

Hongjoong nods, hugging him tight. "I know. But -- but we have to leave. We have to leave now."

Seonghwa's dripping fingers shake, almost dropping the stained sword. He feels like he isn't even there as he and Hongjoong pack whatever they see as quickly as they can.

They manage to make it out of the room on time, but as soon as they do female voices fill the end of the walkway.

Hongjoong guides the both of them to the stables just as screams pierce the evening air, and Seonghwa's eyes clench shut, his conscience ripping him apart.

"We won't make it out on time with just our feet," Hongjoong tells the older, taking charge this time around. He unties Treasure and attaches the saddle, hurriedly mounting Seonghwa up on the horse. "And Treasure truly likes me now, so."

Seonghwa feels light when he grabs Hongjoong's hand to pull him up as well, the voices in the farm increasing in number.

I'm sorry, Seonghwa thinks, Hongjoong's chest pressed to his back as the horse gallops into the fields, her hooves thundering against the grass.

Hongjoong will thank you for being able to protect, and fight for him.

***

However long they drift the plains for, Seonghwa doesn't know because he's lost count.

During the day, he and Hongjoong feed on whatever they can, including the fruits they pluck and the few fish they succeed in hunting and roasting.

With all the grass surrounding them, they don't have to worry about Treasure ever going hungry, but clear, flowing water is growing increasingly more scarce.

The nights are harder to endure, given with how cold it gets. Hongjoong would light a small fire using dried leaves and sticks -- something he'd learnt from his older brother -- and they'd share the blankets they fortunately brought along on the ground, Treasure dozing off to the side.

Tonight is one of those nights. Seonghwa ensures Hongjoong is as warm and as comfortable as he can get on bare soil, ignoring the shivers cascading down his spine to the best of his capability.

"You aren't cold?" Hongjoong mutters.

"No. I don't get cold easily, remember?" They both know that isn't really true, but there isn't much they can do.

"According to the map, we have a few more miles to go before we completely leave Terra, which is this place," Seonghwa continues. "There's a village we'll come across after, and then...then we can find a place to stay."

Hongjoong nods, brows pinching in thought. "...Do you think we can ever get there?"

"What? The village?"

"No. Aurora's Lake."

Seonghwa drags his gaze over to the crackling fire, seeing it's decreased in size in the last couple of minutes. "I...I think we can. If you want to go."

"I want to."

"Then we'll find it." They watch each other. "I promise."

***

Seonghwa opens his eyes the following day to an empty blanket instead of Hongjoong's warmth. He arises, his nerves aflame when he realizes that Treasure is also nowhere to be seen.

He hears a whine to his left.

"You're awake."

Seonghwa moves his head, locking eyes with catlike ones brimming with worry. The boy leads Treasure back to her designated spot, long black hair shielding his gaze.

"Hongjoong?" Seonghwa can't help but voice out.

"That's me," Hongjoong chuckles, but it lacks all humour. He continues to avoid looking at Seonghwa. "Treasure was feeling antsy so I took her on a run earlier."

Seonghwa crosses the threshold until there's nothing left separating the two of them. Hongjoong is shorter again, with broad shoulders, sharp features and a thinner build. 

"Hongjoong -- "

"I really hate this, Seonghwa," Hongjoong cries. His eyes are bloodshot and his nose reddened, lips quivering with every syllable. "I try not to, try to pretend that this is all but a dream and that I'm not killing people just by being the way I am, but it's so hard. It's so hard to act like everything's okay when it's not."

"It's not your fault, you know that," Seonghwa says. "You never meant to do it."

"But I still did, Hwa. I still did and -- and now I've taken another boy's life. I've killed another." Hongjoong sobs into his elbow, shoulders hunched and trembling.

But Seonghwa holds onto him before he can lose himself in his sorrow and despair.

That moment, he vows to himself to get Hongjoong to that enchanted lake even if it kills him.

***

A newfound determination coursing through their veins, they travel tirelessly through the plentiful plains until they eventually reach the road that'll lead them to the next village.

The sun has only just set, the sky a beautiful disarray of blood red and a ravishing orange. It casts a bronze light on the earth below; a picturesque scene that Seonghwa finds himself marvelling at.

Hongjoong seems to be on the same boat too, if his dimpled smile is anything to go by.

They walk a bit with Treasure at their side, intending on searching for a suitable enough place to sleep tonight when two hooded men decide to encircle them, wicked smiles dancing on their lips.

"Nice horse you got there," one of them snarls, eyeing Treasure. "Mind if I have her?"

Seonghwa thinks of his birthday two years ago where he'd met that man at the horse stands, and he'd be damned if he lets a situation like that repeat itself again.

"I suggest you two leave to where you came from," he speaks, making his voice as stable and as direct as he possibly can.

The strange men laugh like they've just heard the funniest joke. Seonghwa grits his teeth and attempts concealing Hongjoong with his body, only for one of them to snatch the younger, his spear grazing his neck.

"Hongjoong!" Seonghwa exclaims in horror, but the younger just shakes his head, shoulders rigid.

"Now, where were we?" The first man talks, pointing to a now restless Treasure. "We want that horse." He stares at the bundles in Seonghwa's arms. "And all those things you have too. If you refuse, your friend -- and you most likely -- will have to die. You should agree while I'm still being nice."

Hongjoong knocks his head against the other man's face that second, earning a cry of agony. He steals the man's spear and slams it into his chest, rendering him motionless.

Seonghwa uses the distraction to launch at the first man, grabbing his sword before he can get attacked by the man's own weapon. He rams it into his throat, the man soon choking on his blood.

Seonghwa quickly removes his sword, looking away from the gruesome sight.

"Are you okay?" Hongjoong asks him.

"...Yes."

"I think the boy I look like now knew how to fight like you do," Hongjoong comments.

"And is that a good thing?"

"Yes. I'm happy to finally be able to protect you at last."

***

The 'village' turns out to be something out of a wasteland, most of the house decrepit and abandoned.

It starts to drizzle, light at first, but then the rain gets so heavy that Hongjoong and Seonghwa have no choice but to run with Treasure in tow, foraging for some sort of shelter.

"There!" Hongjoong gestures at the beam of light in the distance slicing through the dark. He has to strain his voice to be heard over the deafening rainfall.

Seonghwa listens, because he trusts Hongjoong always.

They come across an open inn, rivulets of rainwater dripping from its roof.

A tall, elderly man with a lantern peers through the doorway and takes notice of the drenched boys huddled together under the unforgiving rain, a horse impatiently huffing beside them.

"Well -- come on in."

***

Mister Jung only allows them to stay a week at his inn at first, but then changes his mind when Seonghwa suggests ways they can earn their keep.

Seonghwa dries his hands after the last plate has been washed for the day. It's one of his easier tasks, less stressful than cooking up the meals in the mornings, that's for sure.

He wishes the other two people in the kitchen a good night, jogging out of the lounge to go find Hongjoong.

The younger's one of the workers who serve the meals -- something he'd hated with a passion two years ago. It'd taken a lot of pep talks and kisses on Seonghwa's part to get him to finally cooperate.

A grin stretches across Seonghwa's face when he sees Hongjoong feeding Treasure a carrot at the stables, and he bounds over, sneaking up on the smaller.

"Hi," Seonghwa greets next to his ear, startling him to bits.

"You rascal!" Hongjoong whisper-yells as Seonghwa laughs, pinching his cheek. "I hate you."

"No you don't."

Hongjoong pouts. "I don't."

First ensuring that no one else is around, Seonghwa kisses the younger, his lips soft and tasting of milk chocolate. It's a gift after a long, hard day of work, something Seonghwa can't ever get enough of.

Hongjoong kisses back just as passionately, hands fisting Seonghwa's dark locks.

Something nudges them, disrupting their moment. It's Treasure.

"I think she's jealous," Hongjoong muses.

"I think she's hungry."

"That...sounds a whole lot more logical."

Seonghwa snorts.

***

One Saturday night, a group of men stand at the foot of the inn, something clenched in one of their hands.

Seonghwa's currently polishing off the tables, but he keeps his eyes and ears alert.

"You men need anything to eat? Drink?" Mister Jung asks.

"No, sir. We just want to know if you've seen this boy around," the man in front replies, opening up the scroll in his hand. There's a sketch there, as far as Seonghwa can see.

There's a moment where Mister Jung hesitates, but it's brief -- not enough to draw suspicion. "No. I haven't."

The man nods, leaving with the others in a while.

"Is something the matter?" Seonghwa questions the owner of the inn, wary of the look on his face.

"The boy you came with," Mister Jung clarifies, squeezing the bridge of his nose. "Hongjoong. The men had a picture of him, apparently he's wanted under the name Choi San. I don't know what happened or how you ended up at this inn, but I strongly advise you both to leave. Men like that -- they always come back again. If they see your friend, they'll take him and we'll all be in trouble."

So, before the approaching week begins, Seonghwa and Hongjoong depart again.

***

They spend the rest of the year and the following one like nomads, never inhabiting a place for more than a month or so. Some days aren't as bad as others, and if they're lucky they'd catch some venison to feast on or stumble across a hoard of nontoxic berries.

It's just a small price to pay for their quest of finding Aurora's Lake at last.

***

Seonghwa wakes to bambi eyes and creamy pink lips pulled into a faint smile, and blinks, adjusting his eyes to the dazzling sunlight and deep blue sky. Or maybe this is Hongjoong's effect on nature itself.

Hongjoong grins, and Seonghwa's heart skips. Yes, this is all Hongjoong.

"You've been asleep on that hammol for far too long," Hongjoong grumbles. "I just washed up by the stream. You should too so I can finally rest."

Seonghwa chuckles, nodding as he sits up. Patting Hongjoong's brown hair and running his thumb over his birthmark, he pushes himself off the stretch of cloth attached to the trunks of two trees. "Hammock. It's called a hammock."

"Hammol, hammock, same thing." Hongjoong waves him off, taking the older's place on the contraption.

Seonghwa brushes Treasure's coat, the light brown colour still silky after all these years. He hopes she isn't mad at them for not having eaten a thing since yesterday afternoon, but guessing by the way she leans into his palm, he has been forgiven.

Seonghwa enters the stream minutes later, the cool water encompassing him in seconds and loosening his muscles. He allows himself to sink a little lower, until his neck and chin are fully submerged.

The sky looks so beautiful today, the beaming sun shining down on his skin. Seonghwa wishes he can capture this moment in something other than his mind; make it a souvenir to look back on.

Seonghwa raises his hand, the golden sunlight filtering through his fingers. He watches on, enraptured by the sight.

He wishes Hongjoong was here too.

The rocks beneath Seonghwa suddenly give way, almost as if they're dragging him in. He propels himself upwards, wanting to head to shore, but then he's sinking, the water rising up to his nose.

Seonghwa panics and starts swimming, grabbing onto the rocks at the edge to steady himself.

They break away, and instantly a wave of water hits him head on, making him sputter for oxygen.

Hongjoong is all Seonghwa thinks about as he plummets underwater, unable to breathe. Hongjoong talking to him for the first time, Hongjoong smiling at him, Hongjoong touching him. Hongjoong being happy.

I love you.

Seonghwa sees white, then nothing at all.

***

Hongjoong awakes to stars and a crescent moon. He's gulping, breathless and scared from the nightmare he'd just dreamt.

Treasure is uneasy where she stays, hooves scuffing over the ground and head turning side to side as if she's looking for someone.

"Where's Seonghwa, hm?" Hongjoong asks her even when he knows she can't talk.

Treasure of course doesn't verbally answer, so Hongjoong treks the area looking for the older male.

"Seonghwa?" Hongjoong calls his name. "Hwa? Are you there?"

He hears rushing water and walks that way, hoping with all his heart Seonghwa is present there.

He isn't.

Hongjoong is about to go back when his reflection catches in the stream, eyes he'd recognize even in his sleep staring back up at him.

Hwa...?

Realization dawns on him like a ton of bricks, digging into his chest like a knife. No...

Hongjoong's hands tremor as he looks at his face again, afraid of what he'd find, and then he's screaming, raw and heartbroken, sinking to his knees.

"This -- this can't be happening. This isn't happening," Hongjoong rambles on and on, hot tears rolling down even hotter cheeks. He feels as though he'll explode. "I'm dreaming. I -- I'm only dreaming."

He pinches himself, over and over, wanting to just snap out of this reality once and for all. Because this isn't his reality. This -- this isn't real, right? It can't be.

It can't be.

Hongjoong sobs uncontrollably into his hands, a mess of tears and snot. He can't even find the strength to hold himself upright anymore as he falls to the ground and curls there, dying and in pain and alone.

He's alone now, because Seonghwa is gone. And it's because of him. It's because of him.

It's said the best moments of your life flash before your eyes right before you die. Seonghwa is Hongjoong's best moment, and Hongjoong knows he'd rather die than live without him.

I love you.

***

"You look like you've gone through some stuff out there, son," the man standing at the hut he probably calls home says, scratching his beard. It's late in the afternoon, the harsh sun beating down on everyone outside. "I don't have any food to offer though, the drought's been insane for some time now."

"I just..." Hongjoong opens up the folded map in his hands, wiping off the light dirt marring its surface as he shows it to the man. "I need to...to know if this place is Jinsoo."

The man nods, squinting at the map. "Indeed it is."

"...Then Aurora's Lake must be near by foot, right?" Hongjoong asks, coughing a little. The weather has been downright brutal lately, unforgiving and smouldering. He hasn't had much to drink, and can't even remember when last he ate.

Everything's been a blur since Seonghwa's and Treasure's deaths.

The man's eyes are skeptical, and then he's cackling, small eyes almost disappearing. "Oh goodness, not you too! I can't count how many people have come here asking me the exact same question. Sorry to burst your bubble, son, but that lake is nothing but a fib. It doesn't exist."

Hongjoong shoves the map back into Seonghwa's satchel, a little forceful this time around. "...Okay."

"Want a drink? You look quite parched."

"I'm fine," Hongjoong answers, even when they both know he's not. He won't take anything from this man, though. He has to keep moving.

Hongjoong walks until the man and his hut are mere silhouettes in the dust. He walks until his bones hurt and sweat rolls down his brow, soaking through his tunic.

He'd gladly welcome some shelter with open arms right about now, but all that's there is the sun and heat.

A sharp pain ripples through Hongjoong's left side, white-hot and excruciating. He grabs it and winces instantly, tears springing to his eyes.

He's no stranger to pain like this. They came whenever he dealt with starvation, and just like the others, he plans on powering through this and hoping for the best.

Another one strikes right then, forcing him to his knees. He pants, out of breath and energy.

I need to get up. I need to get to that lake...

Hongjoong wants to stand up, but realizes he can't. Not right now.

He's too tired.

His eyes close, the brilliant sun being the last thing he sees.

***

Something light grazes Hongjoong's forehead, a contrast against the breeze cooling his cheeks.

There's a giggle to his right maybe, bright, bubbly and lively. It enters his ears like a song, warming up his heart.

"Wake up, Hongjoong."

But Hongjoong doesn't -- not right now at least, far too content with just sleeping off the rest of the day like he's doing right now.

"Hongjoong," the low, husky voice says again, shaking him a little. He sounds impatient this time. "Hongjoong."

Hongjoong's eyes creak open, and the person runs, legs quick across the field of flowers. Hongjoong catches sight of their yellow petals flowing about in the wind. Daffodils.

He looks up, first at the vast cerulean sky, then at the person standing in the distance waving him over, and hardly believes that this is real.

"I'm waiting, Hongjoong," Seonghwa calls out, his smile blinding. "I'm here."

So Hongjoong gets up and runs through rows of bright yellow flowers, because it's Seonghwa that's on the other side.

It's Seonghwa that pulls him close and kisses him, slow and breathtaking. It's Seonghwa that's staring at him through those round brown eyes of his, real and affectionate and overflowing with love.

Seonghwa feels just like home.

And when Seonghwa kisses him again, Hongjoong knows for sure.

Yes, he is home.

fin.

***

a/n: final thoughts?