Chris' POV

I couldn't believe the week was over already. Though Jonny and me did get some romantic moments together and had a lots of fun with the kids we had never gone any further than we did on the first evening. No one of us really knew what to do with that totally new kind of feeling. It was so different from anything I had felt before that it almost felt like that night had been my first kiss ever. There still seemed to be that excitement in the air between us and it was brought back to live and struck us again every time we kissed.

But until tonight we hadn't yet talked about something a lot more uncomfortable, the unavoidable question that was still due to be answered. What would we do once we were home?
It was obvious that sooner or later we would have to tell our bandmates and probably also families.
I was sure our friends would accept us the way we are, but still it would be quite awkward. I didn't want to have the great atmosphere we had as four friends to change. How would it feel to write and play music with the person I loved in a romantic kind of way? It would feel so strange for sure.
And would anyone be able to tell when we were on stage? At some point it would probably become obvious and we would have to make it public. But I definitely wasn't ready for that. For me it didn't feel awkward to be together with another male person, it was just what my heart desired so it didn't matter which gender Jonny was. But I knew for the media it would be a lot different, something they could make a huge story of.

What was even worse about the idea of playing concerts, at the moment there was no way I could imagine ever playing those songs I had written the last months in front of a crowd. It would bring too much of the pain back for me to bear it and probably I would have a breakdown right on stage. No way I could risk the public seeing me like this and it being spread all over the media. Everything was such a mess.
At those ideas I started to panic again. We couldn't avoid going on tour sooner or later. Maybe we shouldn't release the album at all. It had something missing, it was too dark. Every dark story needed a happy ending. But I didn't feel ready to make my happy ending public in any way.

I was awakened from my deep thoughts by Jonny entering the room and suddenly remembered that I was supposed to be packing my things.

"Hey, the kids are almost done packing, I helped them with it. How about you?"

"Uhmm give me a few more minutes."

I looked at my suitcase and realized there was nothing but a few trousers in it so far. I hurried up to get my things out of the wardrobe and put them into my bag.

My mood wasn't exactly the best obviously, I didn't want to go back home and face all the troubles and unanswered questions. Jonny must have noticed cause he stopped with neatly folding his shirts.

"What's wrong Chris?"

"Nothing... I just don't like the idea of going back to rainy England again. It's so nice here."

I pretended a little laugh but it was obvious Jonny didn't buy it.

"Come on Chris. I know when something's wrong. Don't forget that I've known you for 20 years. Please talk to me. You should know that hiding your feelings won't bring anyone any further."

"It's not that important. I don't want to make your night suck as well."

"Oh come on. We're a couple now, when you're not feeling well I can't either. So you can as well just tell me."

I looked at Jonny who seemed to not realise what he had said that was striking me. Not that it wasn't obvious that we were a couple now, but no one had really officially spoken it out loud yet.
It lifted my mood instantly to hear Jonny say that and put a large grin on my face.

"What?"

Jonny still seemed confused.

"I think you just said for the first time that we're a couple."

I couldn't hide my bright smile and Jonny started blushing.

"Well, I guess that's what we are now, aren't we?"

"Of course we are. We just never made it official. I love you Jonny."

Jonny blushed even more now.

"I love you too, Chris. More than you could imagine."

With that we started one of our intense kisses again and my worries about the future stopped mattering. Even though I should expect it by now it still sent shivers through my body when I realized once again how good it felt to kiss Jonny.

After our passionate make-out session was finished we laid down on the bed next to each other in silence. After a few minutes I turned my head to see it was already past 10pm.

"Oh, I think we should maybe finish packing now. We gotta get up early to get our flight tomorrow."

"Yeah you're right."

"I'll quickly go and see if the kids are finished for bed already."

Fifteen minutes later I was back and saw that Jonny had already begun to pack some of my stuff for me cause he was finished with his bags.

"You do realize that your way of packing is anything but effective? You can't just throw everything into your bag!"

I giggled. Jonny was so adorable when he was getting upset totally unnecessaryly.

"But it's defenitly faster! Just let me pack my stuff my way."

"But it's wrong!"

We were both breaking out in laughter at how stupid our argument was. I threw Jonny on my bed and started to tickle his belly.

"No! Stop!"

We would never grow up from playing immature games with each other obviously. Not much later our childish tickling had turned into yet another kiss.

"Come on. We really need to get serious again now and finish packing."

"If you say so..."

Unwillingly I started picking up my things and stuffing them into my large suitcase.
Jonny broke the silence soon.

"So umm... I still want you to tell me what was bothering you earlier."

Jonny's question startled me. I had totally forgotten about the worries I've had earlier. Now it was all coming back to my mind and instantly made me feel worse.

"It doesn't matter anymore now."

"Yes it does. Oh come on, I want to know when something is worrying you. You know you can tell me anything."

"We'll, it's just... There are so many questions I don't have answers to. I just don't know how to deal with all that is expecting me when we're back home. But I don't want you to be bothered with some of my stupid worries."

"Oh Chris, I have questions as well! We all do. It's totally okay. No one knows how exactly the future is gonna go. We can just do our best to make it as good as possible and wait how it'll go. Just don't worry that much, it'll all be alright. And you should never worry about bothering me."

Jonny looked at me with the sweetest smile ever, he seemed so understanding, like he had once been there as well.
I was surprised at how much better Jonny's words instantly made me feel. For the first time in months I felt like I wasn't left totally alone in this world with all my overwhelming problems.
Something inside of me clicked and told me that there wouldn't be any hiding in front of Jonny anymore, I decided to from now on just tell him, no matter what it was. But it was so hard to not feel like I was being nothing but a load to everyone.

"Thank you Jonny, you really do know how to make me feel better. But umm... There's another thing we really have to talk about."

"Sure. What is it?"

"Well, obviously people will have questions. I mean, who do we tell about our relationship already? Or will we keep it a secret at first? Sorry if that sounds awkward - I just... don't think I'm ready to tell everyone yet."

"Of course we don't have to! I'd be more comfortable with not telling everyone yet as well. I just think we should maybe tell our bandmates rather soon... It would probably get really complicated if we didn't. Only if you're okay with it of course!"

"Sure I don't mind, they're my best friends, they deserve to know. They'll understand it, won't they?"

"I'm sure they will."

Jonny smiled at me.
I had been kind of scared of asking this question cause who knew if Jonny didn't feel completely different about it? But now I was so glad I talked to him, it felt so good to know we were on the same page concerning this.
Our relationship still felt way too new, exciting and unexplored to tell anyone but our closest friends.

But even though I did expect them to accept it or even be happy for us I couldn't shake off the thoughts on how it would affect the band and our relationship as bandmates and friends. Why did it all have to be so complicated?