Chris' POV

I had hardly driven a few meters away from the house and not yet switched the radio on when I heard someone shouting outside. I didn't recognize the voice right away but when I curiously looked behind I saw right away who it was: Jonny.

What? What was he doing here and why was he screaming after me? Part of me didn't really want to hear any of his explanations, there was nothing that could make it okay again. But something stopped me from just driving on. Even though I wasn't too sure about this anymore he was my best friend and I couldn't ignore him when he was running and screaming after me.

So I stopped the car and opened the window on the driver's side. Moments later Jonny arrived breathlessly next to me.

"Chris! Oh thank God, I thought I would just miss you by a few seconds."

"What's the matter?"

I was attempting to make my voice seem cold but the truth was only being face-to-face with him made me weak.

"We need to talk Chris. I'm so sorry for what happened on Thursday. Can we just go into your flat maybe? I don't want to explain this right here on the street."

With a glance to the car that was slowly approaching from behind of us I agreed.
A few minutes later we both sat on his comfortable sofa with a cup of tea in the hand.
Jonny started talking and it instantly calmed me to hear his flawless voice. Then I reminded myself that I actually was trying to get over him. This would be harder than expected.

"First of all, Chris I'm so so sorry for just leaving you like that on Thursday night. It was just all a bit ...much for me and I was so unsure what I felt myself and I just couldn't deal with it. I hope you can forgive me once I explained it all to you."

I didn't really get what point Jonny was trying to make, but even though my heart still was broken it felt so good to know that he didn't hate me and still cared enough to come and explain himself.

"Please don't... I mean - I don't want to end up breaking your heart so please don't get your hopes up too high but... I think I - I think I have the same feelings for you Chris."

Wait. What?? No, this couldn't be possible. It still hadn't clicked in my mind which was the only reason I didn't break out in tears of happiness. It felt like a dream. I almost whispered my reply.

"You mean like... You like me to? Like in a boyfriend kind of way? Are you being honest?"

"Yes Chris, I do!"

A huge smile formed on Jonny's face and his eyes were sparkling. I was finally able to show emotions and a little tear rolled down my cheek.

"Since when?"

"I - well to be totally honest... I actually started feeling like this some time while we were making Parachutes. However around the end of A Rush Of Blood To The Head I realized that it would only hurt me and you would never feel the same. So I decided that it was stupid anyway and learnt to get over it. Part of me forgot about it but it was always in the back of my mind. And when you then came to me and told me you had those feelings for me it was just too much happening inside of me at once, that's why left. I had no idea if I was ready to let those feelings back in and if it would still feel the same. In fact I still am not, but I had to take this chance and hoped we could somehow work it out."

My jaw dropped while he was telling me that. How could he have felt like this all along? How had I never realized?

"It all feels so new and strange to me. I always used to call it wrong and now it's so awkward to just ...allow it to myself. But I really hope we can somehow work it out, we at least have to try, don't we? Why have you never told me?"

"I was so scared and thought it would destroy everything. It seemed impossible that you could ever feel the same. But since when do you feel like that?"

"I had those thoughts as well. Actually it's Will who convinced me to tell you. I'm not sure but I think the first time I admitted it to myself was about half a year before I split from Gwyneth. That's why we had to part, I couldn't pretend anymore. Wow, you're the only one who knows that now actually."

"That's.. Wow I can't believe you've been hiding this all along... But now it's all going to be okay, isn't it? We owe Will a lot I guess!"

Jonny laughed in a really adorable way. Now I suddenly felt really bad for treating Will like this. I hadn't even told him what had happened. God, I'm such a bad friend!

"But you're coming back to the band now, aren't you Chris?"

"I... Do you think I can? I mean, I've treated you all like shit and been such a load. I'm such a bad friend. Do you think they could ever forgive me?"

I suddenly felt pretty low again. Now I could suddenly see how egoistic I had been all along. Other people are going through so much harder stuff while I was drowning in self-pity for some stupid little crisis. I had let it affect all my loved ones way too much. Why was I such a stupid idiot? I was 36 and so lucky considering many things and still didn't manage to get my life together.

"Of course they will! You know we're like brothers. If one of us I having a hard time we're here for each other. You know we'll always forgive you.
Is everything okay Chris?"

Jonny must have noticed my sudden change of mood.

"I'm such an egoistic idiot. I've been so mean all along and only cared about my own problems and just ran away from everything. How do I deserve friends like you?"

"That's not true Chris. You were having a dark time and and that's okay. We need you just as much as you need us."

Tears were forming in my eyes and Jonny reached out to give me a comforting hug. God, it never felt so good before. I could finally let this tingly exiting feeling spread all over my body and hug Jonny back just as tightly. It made me shiver and gave me a warm feeling around my heart at the same time. I couldn't imagine what it could possibly feel like if Jonny and me ever were to go further than this.

"Thank you so much Jonny. You are the best friend one could imagine. So, what are we gonna do now?"

"I have no idea to be honest. Where were you even driving to earlier?"

"Oh shit! I totally forgot about this! I was about to go to the airport to go on a holiday with the kids. But my plane is long gone for sure."

I couldn't tell him the entire truth about what my plan had been yet.

"What? Have you even told the others?"

"I only left Will a message... But I can't just leave now anyway. Unless..."

Jonny and me both smiled at each other and something told me the same thought was crossing our minds.

"Jonny, uhmm... would you mind coming with me and my kids? I mean, only if you want to of course."

Jonny grinned broadly.

"I would love to. Wow, this is all going so fast!"

"I know, it feels kind of strange doesn't it? But I should first go and explain everything properly to Will and Guy."

"Great. I'll go and pack my stuff while you go to The Bakery. I think they should be there. Then we can get the next flight."

Two hours later we were both standing in the queue in the airport with our baggage. I had only told my bandmates that things were okay between Jonny and me and I was going to South America with my kids, but not the entire truth and especially who else was coming with me.

To everyone around us we were just two men waiting for their airplane, but when I looked into Jonny's eyes I knew there was so much more, it would be our little secret for now. I don't think I've ever been happier, it still felt like I was dreaming. Even though it scared me a little cause I didn't yet know how to deal with those new feelings I was unbelievably excited for the weeks to come.

A/N: Not a cliffhanger this time, I know! But this had to happen at some point;)
I didn't actually plan on updating already but then I was like, I'll write a few lines, and before I knew it it was one hour later and I had written a whole chapter haha! :P