Stiles Stilinski is actually Stiles Winchester, son of Dean Winchester. set right after purgatory. S.8
4858 words-not reread for mistakes
TW: SELF HARM, SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

Sam Winchester wakes up in the middle of the night to the sound of a window opening, he gets up quickly but quietly as to not disturb his sleeping girlfriend. as he walks around the apartment he sees a man but it's too dark to make out a face so on instinct he lunges at him, ready to protect Jess at all costs.

the man fights back and before he knows it Sam is pinned to the ground with the man hovering over him, "woah, easy tiger" that's when he realises that it's not a stranger at all, it's "Dean?" his older brother laughs at his confusion "you scared the crap out of me" he says, clearly irritated "that's cause you're out of practice" he replies easily.

to prove him wrong Sam immediately overpowers him and flips them over "or not" he jokes before telling him to get off. "what the hell are you doing here?" he asks, still confused and slightly out of breath "well i was looking for a beer" his older brother replies, stalling in fear of Sam not wanting to see him or join him. he knows he can't be here long, not with his kid in the car waiting for him.

"what the hell are you doing here?" he asks again, slightly more aggressive now and Dean finally concedes "okay. all right. we gotta talk" he tells him "uh, the phone?" Sam replies like it was an obvious solution "If I'd'a called, would you have picked up?" he asks, kind of scared of the answer he knows he will get. 

luckily, before Sam could say anything the light turns on and they hear a voice "Sam?" they both turn to see Jess, who is now awake and looking at them worriedly. "Jess, hey. Dean this is my girlfriend, Jessica" that makes the blonde smile widely "wait, your brother Dean?" she asks and Sam nods in reply.

he smiles in greeting but it grows when he sees her shirt "i love the smurfs, got all the books in my car actually" he laughs a little, smile turning fond as he thinks about how excited Stiles was when he got them for Christmas. he remembers that Sam knew him when he was a playboy, constantly sleeping around and not as a dad. which is probably why they both look at him like they want to punch him, thinking he was flirting with Jess.

"let me put something on" she replies uncomfortably "no need, i just need to borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business." he smiles "but, uh, nice meeting you" Sam shakes his head "no" he says as he puts a protective arm around her "No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her."

Dean turns to face them better, choosing to stay vague in case Sam hadn't told her everything about their lives "okay. um dad hasn't been home in a few days" he tells him but just gets an eye roll in return "So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later." he says, referencing John's drinking problem.

Dean hangs his head and nods slowly at the quip, not quite ready to back down yet "dad's on a hunting trip and he hasn't been home in a few days" he corrects, making Jess look up at her boyfriend in confusion "Jess, excuse us. We have to go outside." he tells her, not wanting her to hear the rest of the conversation. neither of them notice Dean's sigh of relief at the fact that he can get back to his kid, not wanting to leave him alone in the car at night any longer.

as they walk down a stairwell, Dean going faster than his little brother, they continue to argue "I mean, come on. You can't just break in, middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you." he sighs before replying "You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him." though he sounds calm, he's getting impatient for a straight answer on whether he was leaving here with or without his brother.

"You remember the poltergeist in Amherst? Or the Devil's Gates in Clifton? He was missing then, too. He's always missing, and he's always fine." he tries to reason but Dean shakes his head as he turns around at the bottom of the staircase "Not for this long. Now are you gonna come with me or not?" in his head, he's begging him to say yes. all he wants is to reconnect with his little brother and for his son to meet his uncle. 

"i'm not" is the reply he gets instead but he doesn't show his hurt "why not?" he asks right away "I swore I was done hunting. For good." he tells him, causing Dean to raise his eyebrows and continue walking as he replies "Come on. It wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad." he says, knowing he had protected him from the worst of it even if he would never admit that.

"Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45. no comfort from him, no telling me i shouldn't be afraid of the dark or anything. i was nine years old Dean and he couldn't even make me feel better about this simple thing" Dean sighs, knowing that he would never do something like that to his kid "i know Sammy, i was there but do you remember what i told you after he left?" 

"you told me that i didn't have to be afraid because you would protect me. you said that the monster in my closet was actually an angel watching over me and then you took the gun and put it somewhere i couldn't reach so that i couldn't accidentally hurt myself with it" he nods, happy that Sam remembered all of that "i'm only a few years older than you, if i hadn't known about hunting and all of that i would've also been scared and wouldn't have been able to comfort you."

"Yeah, I know, but still. The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed her. but we still haven't found the damn thing, so we kill everything we can find" Dean is starting to get annoyed at this point "We save a lot of people doing it, too." he reminds him, thinking back on the people he couldn't save. "You think Mom would have wanted this for us?" he asks but Dean just rolls his eyes as they walk out the door and Dean already feels some pressure off his chest as the impala comes into view 

"The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors." he knows that already, after becoming a father he realised that the way they grew up is not how he wanted to raise his kid "So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?" he wishes he could do the same, knowing it's too late for him to leave this life.

"No. Not normal. Safe." that's all he's ever wanted for his little brother and he's happy for him, he truly is but he's also hurt because of the past so what comes out instead is, "And that's why you ran away." he looks away, for a second after what he said, not wanting to start this argument "I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing." he reminds him.

"yeah well i never said anything about you staying gone, in fact i told you i was proud of you. so what's your excuse for not once picking up a damn phone and calling me, don't forget you ran away from me too Sam" they're both silent for a second before Dean continues, not letting his little brother reply "either way, Dad's in real trouble right now. If he's not dead already. I can feel it."

he sighs, looking down "we can't do this alone" he tells him, though Sam doesn't process the use of 'we' "yes you can" he replies "yeah, well i don't want to" he finally admits, Sam is about to reply, about ready to join him when his brain finally catches up to what he heard "what was he hunti- wait we?" Dean smiles fondly "right, there's actually someone i want you to meet" he tells him before walking to the back of the car and opening the door, blocking Sam's view of who's inside.

"hey little Mischief, you still awake?" he whispers gently, swiping his thumb against his sleeping son's cheek to wake him "daddy?" is the quiet reply he gets as Stiles slowly opens his eyes and rubs the sleep out of them "yeah it's me kid, i'm sorry i know it's late and you wanna sleep but i want you to meet someone first. are you up for it?" he nods in reply and stretches his arms out for his dad to carry him, which he gladly does without hesitation.

Sam had still yet to see who was in the car, nor did he hear the hushed conversation. so when his brother turned around holding a kid in his arms, he couldn't help it as his jaw dropped in surprise "Sammy this is Mieczyslaw WInchester, but he likes to be called Stiles and he's my son" he ignores the surprised look on his brother's face to turn to his kid, whose eyes had started to droop once more "stay with me for a minute kiddo, this is your Uncle Sammy, he's my little brother"

The little Winchester brought his head up and smiled with a small wave "hi Uncle Sammy, it's nice to meet you" he says sleepily and Sam is brought out of his daze as he smiles down at the kid and comes closer, tears building in his eyes "hey Stiles, it's nice to meet you too. you have a very cool name you know" he smiles at that "thank you" he replies but it's cut off by a yawn "okay Mischief, let's get you back in the car so you can sleep while me and your uncle talk" 

he nods and snuggles further into his dad's neck "daddy?" he asks, getting a hum in reply "it's cold in the car" he tells him quietly as he hugs him closer, making Dean's heart almost break "hey how about i grab one of my hoodies for you to sleep in? i know you love wearing them even though they're too big on you" at this point Stiles is almost asleep again in his dads arms but he still manages to nod "they smell like you, makes me feel safe" he replies.

Dean doesn't say anything, just kisses his son's forehead before going to grab a hoodie from the trunk. he puts it on over Stiles' shirt and lays him down in the backseat and drapes a blanket over his legs, kissing his forehead one last time before laying him down and closing the door once he's sure he's asleep. he turns around to find his brother standing in the same spot with wide eyes and a couple tears down his cheeks "you're a dad?" he asks

Dean nods "yeah a couple weeks after you left i got a call from someone i had met on a case, we had spent the night together and never saw each other again after that but i still left my number with her. anyways she calls me and tells me that she's sorry, she got pregnant that night and never told me because she didn't know how i would react but she needed my help. she was sick, really sick and the doctors said she wasn't gonna make it and she had no family to take care of Stiles for her. He was four years old when i first met him, now eight, but i can't imagine ever having lived without him, i fell in love with him the second i saw him and ever since then he's been with me."

"i'm sorry i never reached out to you Dean, i'm sorry you had to go through that alone. i wish i could've met him sooner, i already love him so much" he finished with a small laugh "i have to be back by Monday but, i will try my best to keep in contact with you and i want regular visits from my nephew as much as possible" Dean smiles at that and promises to make it happen.

they talk for another ten minutes about Stiles and then about the case, Sam telling him that he had an interview for law school on Monday before going back upstairs to pack a bag. they hit the road not knowing what's in store for them in the next few years, or even in the next few days. their next year is spent looking for John Winchester, spending time together and reconnecting as a family with the new addition of Stiles. 

after the death of their dad the brothers continue to hunt with Stiles following everywhere they went, until he was ten years old. that's when the gates of hell opened up and his uncle Sammy died for the first time. with the demons running wild around the world and Dean only having a year to live after his deal with a demon to bring his brother back, he decides that it's best for his kid to leave the life for a while until it's safer.

John Winchester had an older brother that he barely talked to, they brothers had reached out to him when they were younger and Dean kept contact with him in secret throughout the years. he knew about the life, but was never a hunter. Noah Stilinski (he changed his name to distance himself from John in case he was ever caught) was a good man with a safe life and Dean trusted him to take care of his son and love him like his own. 

Stiles didn't want to go but he understood, already very smart for a ten year old. he was heartbroken when he heard about his father's death a year later, getting constant calls from Sam and Bobby and occasional visits from the two until four months later when his dad came back and rushed to find him. he never wanted to feel that pain again.

six years later, Stiles is now seventeen, he still lives with Noah. it was supposed to be so that he could have a normal life and go to school regularly but that all changed when he went in search of a dead body with his best friend one night. his dad and uncle knew about the pack but promised not to harm them as long as they never caused harm to those around them.

Stiles spent every summer on the road with his family, telling the pack that he stayed with his extended family over break, which wasn't exactly a lie but he definitely kept the details to himself. his friends had no idea who he was or that he knew about the supernatural long before meeting them, he didn't want them to feel betrayed or like they couldn't trust him when they found out he was a Winchester so he lied.

His dad always told him that it was better that way, safer for him to keep his life a secret. he kept his dad's words in mind every time it got too hard, whenever he talked to his best friend and couldn't help the immense guilt of his secret. it got even harder when he started dating Derek, knowing that the wolf had been hurt so many times by people he cared about but not being able to tell him the truth.

though nothing was as hard as having to keep it a secret when at sixteen years old, his dad disappeared after defeating the leviathans. he got a call from his uncle that day, telling him what happened and hanging up before he even got a chance to reply. that was the last time he talked to Sam, he tried to call him so many times but it always went straight to voicemail.

one year later Dean Winchester showed up in the woods with a mission to get back to his family, he needed to see his little brother and his son. a full year not seeing Stiles while he was in purgatory almost ripped him apart and he was not gonna waste time getting back to him. he brought Benny back and found one of Rufus' cabins before calling his brother to come meet him, though it took many tries and many different numbers to actually get a hold of him.

after a rough hello where Dean proved that they both were actually the real them, they talked about everything that went down in the last year. Sam found out that Dean was in purgatory all this time and that Cas didn't make it out, Dean found out that Sam quit hunting but he was about to be even more shocked and angry in a minute.

"Yeah. Yeah, I – you were gone... Dean. Cas was gone, Bobby was dead. I mean, Crowley even shipped off Kevin and Meg to parts unknown." he tried to explain himself "So you just turned tail on the family business." Dean asked, not believing his ears "Nothing says "family" quite like the whole family being dead." he replied but that did nothing for his older brother's current anger.

"I wasn't dead, neither is Stiles. In fact, I was knee-deep in God's armpit killing monsters, which, I thought, is what we actually do." he said, not missing the slightly guilty look he received back at the mention of his son's name "Yes, Dean. And far as I knew, what we do is the thing that got every single member of my family killed. I had no one – no one. And for the first time in my life, I was completely alone. And, honestly, I-I didn't exactly have a road map. So, yeah, I-I fixed up the Impala, and I just... drove." he explained.

"after you looked for me and went to Stiles" Sam doesn't say anything and Dean feels like he might throw up "did you do either of those things Sam?" his brother turns his head away guiltily but that's all the confirmation Dean needs "Good. That's good. Now, we – we... always told each other not to look for each other. That's smart. Good for you. Of course, we always ignored that because of our deep, abiding love for each other, but not this time, right, Sammy? of course you also always promised you would take care of my kid if something were to happen to me, find him and comfort him but it doesn't seem like any of this matters to you anymore"

"i wasn't in the right head space to be able to take care of Stiles but look, I'm still the same guy, Dean." the older Winchester scoffs at that "well good for you, i'm not." he replies before leaving the cabin and slamming the door shut. "welcome back" Sam said after his brother left.

later that night Dean is looking through a box of phones, planning on going to see Stiles the next day so that he doesn't look so rough when he sees him again. "do you want some dinner" Sam tries to ask, knowing that Dean probably won't answer him. instead of a reply Dean looks at his brother like he's about a second away from killing him "what?" he asks and Dean pulls out his earbuds before putting the phone on speaker and staring at Sam as the voicemail played.

"Uncle Sammy, please answer the phone or call me back or something. i'm going crazy over here, you call and tell me that dad's gone and then you hang up and stop answering me all together? please i need someone to talk to right now, no one else understands. please call me" he sounds like he's been crying.

"how long ago was that?" instead of a reply, Dean plays the next message.

"Uncle Sammy, it's been a week since i called and i don't know if i can take this anymore. i miss him so much and-and i miss you, please call me." he's sobbing as he speaks.

"we can go see him first thing in the morning, i'll fix this" Dean plays another message

"Sammy, it's been three months since i last talked to you and since...since dad. i don't know how much longer i can go on like this, i can't sleep, i can't eat, my grades are slipping. please i just need to talk to you, i can't tell anyone what happened, i can't talk about it and it's killing me. i don't understand, did i do something wrong? are you mad at me? i'll do anything to fix it, you're the closest thing i have to dad, the only tie i have left to him and i need you. please call me" he sounds desperate, ready to give up.

"Dean i-" he holds his finger up to silence him and plays the next message.

"Sam it's been six months. i don't know if you're looking for dad or even if you're still alive. doesn't matter anymore because even if you are, you're dead to me. i'll stop calling" he's just angry now, completely void of any hope.

"he's my son Sam, he's your nephew and you left him. i trusted you to take care of him. he needed you and you couldn't be bothered to pick up the damn phone." at this point he was in front of Sam and couldn't help himself when he picked up his fist and slammed it right into his brother's jaw. Sam went straight to the floor and Dean threw his phone at him "call. now."

back in Beacon Hills, Stiles is sitting in the loft with his pack. him and Derek curled up together in an armchair, Scott and Isaac cuddled on the one on the other side of the room, Liam and Theo one side of the couch, Ethan and Jackson on the other while Lydia, Kira, Malia and Allison were scattered around the room, everyone enjoying a movie together.

Stiles was slowly starting to get better, he'd been in a terrible state of depression for almost a year and no one knew why or how to help. at some point he wouldn't even get out of bed anymore, they all helped in every way they could and still continue to do so. none of them even asked about what caused it, letting Stiles decide when he wanted to tell them.

the movie was paused when a phone started ringing, Stiles picked it up from the table next to him and immediately saw red as he stared at the name on his screen "oh you have to be fucking kidding me right now". he forgot where he was and who he was with, standing up and answering the call as he clenched his fist so tight it turned white "i'm happy to see that you finally learned how to use a phone after a year, thanks for letting me know you're alive now please don't ever fucking call me again you dick" he said angrily, not even bothering to yell.

"Stiles please, just listen-" is the reply he gets but just the sound of Sam's voice is enough to break him "LISTEN?! WHAT YOU MEAN LIKE YOU LISTENED TO ME WHEN I WAS BEGGING YOU TO CALL ME OR TO ANSWER THE GODDAMN PHONE?! I BEGGED YOU SAM, I CALLED YOU CRYING WHEN MY DAD DISAPPEARED, COULD BE DEAD RIGHT NOW BUT I WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU NEVER TRIED TO LOOK FOR HIM! YOU RAN AND YOU TURNED OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE, I LOST MY DAD AND MY UNCLE IN THE SAME DAY, RIGHT AFTER I LOST BOBBY! DO YOU KNOW HOW THAT FUCKING FELT SAM, DO YOU EVEN CARE THAT MY ENTIRE FAMILY WAS RIPPED AWAY ALL AT ONCE, NO YOU DON'T BECAUSE IF YOU DID YOU WOULD HAVE ANSWERED THE PHONE! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT IT FELT LIKE SAM, IT FELT LIKE MY ENTIRE WORLD CAME CRASHING DOWN ON TOP OF ME, LIKE I SHOULDN'T HAVE STILL BEEN ON THIS EARTH. I KEEP MY ENTIRE LIFE A SECRET FROM EVERYONE I LOVE, YOU AND DAD WERE THE ONLY ONES TO HELP ME GET THROUGH THAT BUT WITHOUT YOU THE GUILT WEIGHED ON ME UNTIL I COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HURT I WAS WHEN I REALISED YOU WERE IGNORING ME? I BLAMED MYSELF FOR SO LONG, I FELT LIKE I HAD DONE SOMETHING WRONG. I HAD DISAPPOINTED YOU, I WAS LYING TO MY FRIENDS, FELT LIKE I WAS BETRAYING THEM. I FELT LIKE EVERYONE WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF IF I WASN'T HERE ANYMORE. i didn't eat, i didn't sleep, i stopped getting out of bed, my arms and thighs have more scars on them than i can count. all because you couldn't pick up a damn phone" he finished in a whisper after having yelled the whole time

at this point tears were streaming down Stiles' face and the whole pack were looking at him with tears of their own, not daring to say a word "I'm so sorry Sti, i didn't think-" he scoffed in reply before cutting him off "no, no you didn't think. fuck you and your apology, and don't call me that. that nickname was reserved for my Uncle Sammy, someone i thought i could always count on to be there when i needed him. that man died when my dad disappeared and so did all my trust in him, goodbye Sam"

before he could hang up he heard a broken voice coming from the other end of the phone "Mischief?" suddenly he felt like he couldn't breathe as he fell down to his knees, Derek immediately by his side, holding him "dad?" he choked out, not believing his ears "it's really me kid, i'm here, i'm home. i'll be in Beacon Hills in less than two hours, speed limits and road safety be damned, where are you?"

"loft" is all he could reply before completely breaking down "i love you Mischief, i'll be there soon" and with that promise he hangs up. Stiles cries into his boyfriend's chest, repeating the words "he's alive, he's okay" until he fell asleep from exhaustion and Derek carried him to his bed so that he could sleep.

he went back downstairs to see everyone completely quiet, not knowing what they should say "i know all of us have questions, but we're going to wait for Sti to wake up and for his dad to get here. he will tell us everything but until then we say nothing and we let him sleep" they all nodded, not wanting to argue with the alpha, even Scott who had equal status to him.

an hour and a half later the loft doors slammed open and two men walked in, everyone immediately standing up, ready to fight "are those?" Allison asked "the Winchesters" Derek replied "we're not here to hurt any of you, i just wanna see my son" Dean told them with his hand in the air "where is Stiles?" he asked calmly

"everybody stand down" Derek said and they all listened "Stiles is sleeping, he exhausted himself from all the crying so i laid him on my bed to get some rest" he told them and Dean nodded "i'm guessing you're Derek then?" he asks, having put the pieces together easily "yes sir" he replies respectfully, leave him alone okay it's Stiles' dad for crying out loud.

"thank you for taking care of him when i couldn't be there" he tells him as he puts his hand out for him to shake which the alpha gladly accepts before leading him upstairs to his room. Sam follows behind them, still not having said a word since the phone call. Dean walks into the room and almost breaks down when he sees the tear stains on his son's face.

he sits down on the bed next to him, looking down all he can see is Stiles when he was only four years old. he swipes his thumb gently on his son's cheek to wake him up, smiling as he reached up to rub the sleep out of his eyes, making him look even younger "hey little Mischief, you awake?" Stiles slowly opens his eyes, not believing what he's seeing as they slowly fill with tears again "daddy?" he asks quietly "yeah, it's me kid" Stiles immediately brought his arms up and his dad pulled him into a hug, gently kissing his forehead.

"i missed you so much" Stiles takes a deep breath through his nose, taking in the smell that always made him feel safe "i missed you too dad"

A/N I might come back to this or even make a part two so that it has a better ending, it was getting late last night and i just wanted to sleep so i rushed the end a bit. Lemme know what you guys think💖

Also did u guys catch the callback at the end?