"my journal!?" i stare at the black book in his hand, "where did you find it!?" i quickly grab it, holding it to my chest, "i could murder you right now."

he raises his eyebrows, "i'd prefer a thank you over homicide and it was on the library floor."

i page through it, "you didn't open it up did you?" i ask, suddenly feeling embarrassed.

"of course i had to open it up. i was looking for a name on the inside cover." he shrugs, trying to play it cool. "and i didn't read what's in there for the record." he mutters rather cutely.

i look up at him perplexed, "i haven't written my name on it so how did you know it belongs to me?"

taehyung looks taken aback for a second but regains himself, "i-i've seen you around with it before... and i always see jimin handing it back to you..." he laughs, almost too nervously.

i eye him suspiciously. his answer does seem logical enough. maybe i'm just worked up because i actually got it back. "and what where you doing in the library?"

taehyung parts his lips and stares at me blankly, "why is this turning into an interrogation?"

i point my mechanical pencil at him and begin clicking it so that the lead inches closer to his face, "just answer it!" i threaten.

"fine, fine," he throws up his arms in mock surrender. "dansae had a book for me to return to the librarian."

i lower my pencil. "dansae," i mutter. i really hate that boy with a great amount of passion. "couldn't he have done it himself?" i inquire.

for some reason, i've really been worrying about taehyung these passed days. especially because i get the feeling that he's being used and degraded by that blockhead and taehyung is too kind to even notice it— and it just makes my heart beat so painfully.

"he's my friend, just like you are." he places the palms of his hands on either side of his cheeks and he smiles at me but i just stare at him, completely frozen after registering those words.

friends.

— he called us friends.

it's the first time, we've actually established our relationship with each other and dear heavens i could smile as bright a hoseok oppa right now but instead i give him a small smile as i watch him continue speaking.

"besides he said he needed to invite some boy's over for his birthday this weekend." he purses his lips.

"birthday?" i question. "he invited you as well right?" i inquire, probably coming off as inquisitive but i'm genuinely worried for this boy.

"neh and he said he wants a gift certificate as a present. it's popular nowadays." he smiles his boxy smile and my heart skips a beat. "i'm going to buy it today."

"oh," i mouth. so he requested a present, how typical of him but it's so sweet that taehyung is actually going to get it for him. "don't spend too much though," i warn playfully. "and you better eat cake for me while you're there."

he chuckles shyly, "you can count on jungkook and jimin doing that for you, they're also going to be there."

i watch him rest his head back onto the desk. i smile at the mention of my two best friends, "i can wager my life on the fact that jungkook ah~ will be the happiest maknae if you hang with them."

he laughs cutely, "jungkook's like a little baby who you just want to protect from the world because he's so innocent and pure!" he says dramatically.

i look at him shook, "i thought i was the only one that felt that way."

taehyung and i chuckle at our mutual liking toward jungkook. taehyung is such a sweet boy with such an innocent and caring soul who looks out for everyone except for himself— taehyung also deserves to be protected from the harshness of this world and to be granted infinite happiness as well!

he's what you'd call a selfless being and everytime i'm with him i get this feeling within the contents of my tummy— it's warm and fluffly and i think it may just be what one would call a crush. i bite my lip at the thought of crushing on taehyung and i feel my tummy fill with dozens of butterflies.

"yah! soo yeong ah~" he suddenly calls whilst waving a hand infront of me, bringing me back to reality.

"w-what is it?" i choke, mentally slapping my self for stuttering— i'm just flushed from my thoughts.

"uhm..." he lifts his head off the table. "do you think sand is called sand because it's in between the sea and the land?" he pouts and ruffles his hair in confusion.

i look at him in awe, "omo, taehyung ah~ please don't mess with my brain— this titration thing is already doing that—"

"what about leaves," he ignores my statement and leans back on a desk behind him. "are they called leaves because they leave the tree?"

triggered.

"yahh! taehyung i'm gonna flip this desk if you don't stop killing my brain cells!"

taehyung bursts out laughing whilst holding his tummy tightly, "your reactions are always the best."

• • •

the café station isn't so busy today. so, i just wipe the tables clean and mop the floors hoping to make the café sparkle, like usual. once i finish up i head over to the counter where yoongi and hoseok oppa's are.

"yoongi oppa," i see yoongi look up from the register. "i need to speak with you."

"i want to be reincarnated as a rock," he says dryly, looking very disinterested.

"you're going to hear me talk whether you're a rock or not," i stand in front of the counter and stare at him dead in the eyes and he just licks his lips. "why did you have to send taehyung with those cupcakes? things are so different now, i can't explain it..." i mumble the latter and fake soft sobs escape my lips and yoongi doesn't say anything rather he just stares at me.

"does somebody have a crush?" hoseok shows up out nowhere making a heart shape over his head.

i look over at him with a soft pout and slowly nod my head. i fall over the counter, "i think i'm feeling." i drawl the last word.

hoseok lifts my head off the counter, "it's natural for a teenager to experience different emotions. let nature take it's course." hoseok advises.

"let nature take it's course?" yoongi scoffs and i look at him only to see him holding up crumpled a piece of paper, "if you think you're not going for this then prepare for yourself for my tongue technology." he smiles a gummy smile, unwrapping the paper to reveal the spring festival flyer— which the librarian had given me.

my eyes widen at the sight of it. did yoongi oppa rummage through my blazer pocket? since when is he this active or inquisitive? i purse my lips.

"yahh! yoongi hyung is right! practically everyone goes for that. you'll definitely see taehyung there!" hoseok yells in excitement.

"i'm not going." i deadpan.

hoseok looks extra dramatically surprised standing there with his hands on his hips, "and why not?"

"my dad's not here with me this year," i put my head back down on the counter, feeling the tears swell in my eyes.

"soo yeong ah~" yoongi says softly, "you can still go... what about your friends jimin and jungkook?"

i see hoseok nod his head eagerly and he hands me some tissues, "i don't want to disrupt their family time besides they go to two totally different parks."

hoseok and yoongi frown, "seokjin hyung?"

"i'm sure he'll go with namjoon-nim. it'll be too awkward for me." i dry my eyes.

"we would go with you instead but we have to work a shift that night, like always." hoseok pouts and wipes away a fake tear.

i smile, "that's sweet and you both should definitely go. i can cover your shifts. i'm sure the dragon lady won't be at home, she'll probably have another futile date."

"yah! soo yeong ah~!" hoseok yells. "i won't let you!" i frown at his words.

"aish, what hoseok said." yoongi throws the flyer toward me. "at least think about it because i'm sure taehyung will be hoping to see you there."

i take the flyer in my hands and skim over it, "fine, i'll think about it." i purse my lips giving in.

• • •

coming home only to be told to plunge the toilet isn't exactly what a teenage kid would want as a welcoming home greeting but unfortunately enough— it's a reality for me.

working at the café and being piled on with chores are the major reasons why i utilise my free periods at school because i simply don't have the time to complete my homework and assessments when i get home.

i push the plunger up and down hearing the horrible squeaky sounds being emitted and the smell is getting worse by the second. i stop and pull my hoodie over my nose hoping that this technique would halve the odour being wafted into the air.

"mother," i suddenly hear ah ro's voice from outside the on-suite. "the spring festival is in a few days i need a dress."

"oh my darling," the dragon lady says melodramatically. "neh, neh we'll go shopping to-."

i begin plunging again not wanting to hear about their shopping plans. i can't stand it. they buy so much of clothes but they don't even use them. if they tried to donate them to people in need of them then maybe it would actually be of some use.

"soo yeong!" i hear the dragon lady yell over the plunging noises and i halt, immediately.

"neh mrs. hyungsik?" i ask, attentively.

"can you stop with that wretched noise! can't you hear that i am having a conversation with my only daughter!" her crowed voice could shatter wine glasses and the latter of her sentence somehow breaks my heart.

"oh, i'm sorry mrs. hyungsik." i say, putting the plunger away then proceeding to rinse off my hands.

"now who is this boy you want to impress my darling?" the dragon lady asks.

i roll my eyes and sit on the bathtub. it's obviously dansae— those two are a wreck made in hell.

"mother," ah ro says rather shyly. "if you must know his name is kim taehyung."

my eyes widen in shock and i almost fall into the bathtub. did she just say 'kim taehyung'?

i quickly get up to try and get a better listen at their conversation because this caught me completely off guard. i peep through the crack of door watching the two women interact.

why did she declare her liking toward taehyung all of a sudden?

"he normally hangs out with dansae so i've seen him before but today i finally realised that taehyung is super hot. if i have him as a boyfriend i'm sure alot of girls would envy me even more." she fans herself and i grit my teeth in anger. taehyung is much more than just a handsome face. "and you know what else mother?"

her mother, whose beaming with happiness, moves closer to her daughter, "i hear his family is also rich and as you've always said— love is money."

her words causes me to bawl my fists tightly so much so that the cuts on my fingers re-open and oozes blood. i could punch ah ro right now but i hold back by taking a deep breath in.

it seems like the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree and these people are hanging onto my last nerve. my deep breaths don't help me as ah ro's words continue to hit my ears— the anger builds slowly within me and without thinking i flush the toilet disrupting their little talk and i stomp out of the room, unbothered by the reactions.

i quickly make my way downstairs, planning to head to my outhouse to simmer down but seokjin oppa suddenly pops up, confronting me. i bite the inside of my cheek and move my hands out of view. i plaster on a fake smile— because venting out on him would be so wrong— and i turn to face him.

"soo yeong ah~." he has that usual sweet smile over his face, "the spring festival is almost here and you still need a dress."

"seokjin oppa. i don't care about the festival anymore. i'm not going!" i declare, breaking my promise with yoongi oppa, as i turn away, making for the kitchen exit.

"soo yeong!" he calls out but i ignore him and make my way to my little dump across the yard because that's where trash like myself belongs.

trash that speaks so rudely to seokjin oppa even though he didn't do anything but i can't control my emotions right now because all these new problems and complications are arising and it's overwhelming for me to keep up with.

i don't bother tending to my open wounds on my hand rather i just wrap myself up in my blanket, wiping away a few stray tears from my eyes. i switch on my laptop, probably looking like an old hunchbacked hermit but i could care less because all i need right now is a suppressant to drown out all these emotions i'm feeling.

a/n: annyeong chingu! i'm sorry i haven't updated in weeks because guess whose been having a mfing terrible last four weeks of their life ↓

yeah you guessed right but anyway, hope you're all doing great and to those out there who've been to bts concerts this year i sincerely hope you're having a real good time! i jhope to oneday experience bts live in concert as well!

also, stick around there's gonna be another update because i literally starved you (JeonJgkookk) yeah you! forgive me.

~author-nim 💜