Dear Diary,

Buck and I decided that we have the most fun when we're alone (well, duh). Not only that, but when we go on little day or overnight trips together. So, hopefully we start doing that more.

Going to the beach was pretty fun, I'm not gonna lie... but today we're going hiking and I'm psyched.

Sure, I have asthma and I might literally die but as long as I'm with Bucky I'm sure it'll be fine... I think.

—————

The drive wasn't that long, especially for the mountain being in upstate New York and all. It was actually fun, seeing how I got to spend about an hour in the Barnes family Buick with Bucky just talking and listening to the radio.

Now, I'm just sitting on a rock waiting for Bucky to finish packing the last of our stuff into his backpack.

He was facing away from me and reaching into the car... bending over and... I tried to force myself to look away but it barely worked. You see, we were in this sort of exercise gear and while the tight shirt was baggy on me, it fit him extraordinarily well. Damn, he looked good.... Flannel half open, dirty blue jeans, ugh.

"Ready to go?" He asked, closing the pouch, turning to face me and catching me staring. Shit.

"Uh, mhmm..." I replied awkwardly. He smiled and extended his hand, seemingly wanting me to take it, so I did. He helped me up and took a deep breath in, closing his eyes and absorbing all that the wilderness had to offer.

We were the only ones out there today, and thank God. Finally some alone time away from the city and our parents and siblings and all those things that distracted us from one another.

We headed out on foot on this rocky, dirt path into the woods. He walked in front of me go begin with even though neither of us had the slightest idea where the hell we were going.

The wind rustled through the canopy of tree branches and lush leaves above us and little pebbles crunched beneath our shoes. I heard birds chirping and singing their joyous songs together as well as the other wildlife taking their quiet steps away from us. The sun glistened down at us through the splotchy leaves and I felt so at peace. I tried to focus on all of this... on all that this clear, sunshiney day had to offer.

But I couldn't.

He was getting to me in all of his perfectness. Beautiful brown, curly, shiny hair... his scent that trailed behind him and towards me... the way he walks and sways his broad shoulders from side to side... the way his upper body tapers down to his slim waist... I simply could not stop looking at him.

I sped up my pace and caught up to him, sliding my hand down his arm and meeting his hand with mine. This was a first... holding hands. Its something we could never do in public but, now? Forget about it.

Our fingers were interlaced and our legs touching as we walked. I looked up to smile at him but he was already looking at me. Adorable.

His eyes diverted to an approaching clearing. He squinted juuuuust a bit and there it was. The excitement was starting to set in.

We ran to a good observation point and sat near the edge. I looked out and it was... it was incredible. I couldn't seem to rip my eyes from the scene with the fear that I would miss something extraordinary.

"Beautiful, huh?" Bucky said.

"Yea... that mountainside is just... it's not the city I'll tell you that much. It's... its amazing," I replied.

He chuckled. "I wasn't talking about the mountain, Steve..." I looked over at him and there was a twinkle of something in his eyes that I just couldn't seem to decipher.

His hand landed on mine on the rock beneath us, making me look down. His other hand met my chin and lifted my face up, bringing me into a kiss. It was slow and soft and sentimental.

But it was all over too soon.

He pulled away slowly, leaving me wanting more. My eyes stayed closed for a while because I refused to let go of that perfect moment... I refused to return back to my torturous, boring reality.

My eyelids slowly crept open, giving way to the perfect blue orbs that were his eyes. His face hadn't moved much and I wanted him to kiss me again...

"What?" Bucky asked, playfully, knowing full well what I was doing.

"I... can't stop staring at those ocean eyes..." I said quietly, biting my lower lip. A smile crept onto his face.

"Come on, we better get walking if we wanna be back before dusk," he reminded me, standing up and helping me up as well. And with that, we were on our way.

To be completely honest, this whole trekking long distance thing was most absolutely not what I had expected. It was getting really hot and I was sweaty and extremely out of breath. The worst part is that it's only been 2 hours.

"You alright, Steve?" Bucky asked, taking my hand and pulling me close. I liked this. This... freedom. We could be whatever we wanted out here with no judgement.

"Yea... I'm fine..." I whispered between breaths.

"Don't sound like you're fine," he said, sounding concerned. "Let's sit... you know, rest for a while." I nodded and we sat on a rock a little bit from the edge.

It took about ten minutes and a bottle of water for me to feel better, then we were on our way again.

Bucky stood, "come on," he took my hand and walked to the edge... boy, was it a long way down. He stuck one foot over the edge.

"Bucky! What the hell are you doing?" I pulled him away from the side of the cliff.

He leaned down and kissed me quickly. "Having fun, Steve... come on..." he smiled slowly and started walking backwards closer to the cliff. How can he be so daring and I'm over here practically shaking in fear?

He let go of my hand... "Take my hand," I said, he was getting too close and I was concerned but he continued to ignore me. "BUCKY!" his foot slipped on the edge and he stumbled. "NO!" I reached my hand out and he took it. The look of pure fear in his eyes is something I'll never forget. I don't know what I would have done if he had fallen... there wouldn't have been anything I could have done to save him.

He stabilized and breathed out in relief. "What the hell? You scared the shit out of me, jerk," I punched his arm, blinking away the tears in my eyes.

He pulled me in and brought his face right up to mine. "I'm alright, Steve. I'm alright."

"You almost weren't, Buck. What were you thinking?" I asked.

"I- I don't know. I honestly couldn't tell you... fuck, Steve, I'm sorry."

I smiled. "It's alright. Just don't ever pull that stunt again, do you hear me?"

He chuckled, "yes mom..." he said, shoving me gently and walking back onto the dirt path.

• • •

An hour or so passed and we had reached our destination at the peak of the mountain.

We sat amongst tall evergreens and pine needles placed messily across the floor of the wood. I watched him as he set up the little blanket and food we had brought. The scene could not have been any more perfect. Birds singing their lovely songs in harmony, magnificent fully grown trees and a wonderfully blue, clear sky above us.

The food was eaten in silence but it didn't feel odd to me at all... natural, rather. We both eyed the other throughout and it felt almost surreal to have this amazing freedom.

"You know, Steve..." he started, looking down at his plate. "This sense of liberty that we have right now... it might never be back again after we leave here."

"What exactly do you mean?" I questioned.

"I mean..." he looked up at me and started crawling over until his face was just centimeters from my own. "I mean... we better seize this opportunity while we still got it." His eyes got black and I felt almost like I could literally fly right now. My pulse quickened as he kissed me.

More more more. Gimme more.

If only I had the guts to say that out loud. Fuck, I want him inside me- fuck, did I just think that?

I kissed him with all I had even though it felt like he was just trying to kiss me quickly. He pulled away and I watched him slowly opened his eyes... a small smirk tugged at his lips as he looked at me from beneath those beautiful eyelashes. He brought his lips up to mine and teased me, never connecting.

I pulled at his neck and he pushed me over, laying on top of me, and finally kissed me. He hummed into my lips and I let his tongue enter my mouth... God, I loved this.

He pulled away and looked at me.

He sighed and thumped his head down on my chest. "Steve... ugh, you know I wish we could do this but we gotta get going. We'll never make it back before dark if we don't."

He sounded as bummed as I felt. He sat up and I looked down at myself... I was getting there but we couldn't so, ughh.

We stood. "Damn Steve, it's been like, two minutes..." well I guess he saw for himself.

"Ha ha so funny," I glared at him and he smiled back. God damn it, why couldn't I stay mad at him?

"Let's go," he said, tapping my arm and heading off.

—————

We walked most of the way back without any other life threatening mishaps *cough cough Bucky*.

I fell asleep on the way home.

And that's really all. It was a pretty good day.

~ S. R.