Dear Diary,

This is gonna be a good day... finally.

We're doing something different, something like we used to do a long time ago, something I really missed.

—————

I woke to a car horn.

3:47 pm.

I sat up and looked out the window... what the hell is a Black Buick doing here in the middle of the afternoon?

I watched as a man opened the door and stepped out, closing the door behind him.

Bucky.

I run over to the mirror and try to fix my hair and messed up shirt... it was no use. I had fallen asleep on the couch and there was no way I would be able to fix my appearance before knocked on the door, so I dealt with it.

I heard him knock and walked over to unlock it.

"Steve... you look really, really tired... you okay?" His eyebrows furrowed. He looked worried.

"Oh," I chuckled. "Yea, I just woke up... I guess I fell asleep on the couch."

"Mmm alright..." he said calmly, his eyes flickering to my lips, looking like he wanted to kiss me. Ugh, I wanna to kiss him too, but my mom was right there in the other room. He took in a slow, deep breath. "So, Dracula's Daughter is premiering tonight and there's a special thing going on at the park..." he looked away, "well, it's a drive in..."

I felt a smile growing on my face, "never been to a drive-in..." I said.

"Well, the only thing is that it's in Camden... it's at the first drive in theater ever made, some place on Crescent Boulevard, I think," he replied.

"Never been."

"Me either... apparently it's two hours from here but I got my dad's Buick and I figured... I dunno, a mini road trip would be fun... so what d'you say?" He asked.

Okay is it just me or did that sound like he asked me on a... no way. No way he just asked me that like it was a... is it? A date? No, can't be.

"I think it's a great idea, yea. I'd love to go," I admitted, letting my giddiness show through my vocal tone.

"Awesome..." he leaned in to hug me and squeezed me tight in his strong arms. I wrapped my significantly smaller arms around his neck and moved my fingers across his neck and in his hair, letting my face rest on his broad shoulder. His scent overwhelmed me... sweet vanilla shampoo, spearmint toothpaste and his strong, woody cologne. His arms pulled at my waist as he bent down and tightened his grip. I could hear his heart pumping and his lungs inflating through his chest.

But it was all over too soon.

He pulled away halfway and met my ear. His face felt... scratchy. "Buck, you tryna grow a beard?" I said lightly into his ear with a slight tone of disbelief.

He chuckled. "Yea, I thought I'd give it a shot... Uh, you ready to go?" He murmured into my ear as he pulled away completely.

I exhaled from the sudden release of pressure on my abdomen. "Yea, lets go... lemme just tell my mom real quick that I'm going."

I walked into the other room, all the while feeling his eyes drill holes in my back as he watched me walk away. My mom said yes, of course and told me to have fun... that meant she was okay with my staying out late as long as I was with Bucky.

• • •

"This is some ride, Buck," I commented, admiring the interior of Mr. Barnes' Buick.

"Yea, she's pretty nice," he agreed, looking away from the road for a moment to meet my gaze.

"What version is it?" I asked.

"Series 40," he replied.

"Nice..." I examined the light leather seating for another moment before looking back up through the double pane windshield at the crowded highway. It was rush-hour and we were still kinda far from our destination even though we were technically already in New Jersey.

The small talk was alright to be fair, but it's not like I wouldn't have preferred something more meaningful. I looked out the window and into the clear evening sky, listening to the quiet lull of the radio in the background.

As we neared our destination, my jitters seemed to resurface. I was excited to see a drive in movie for the first time but also aware that people tended to take it a little too far in these scenarios... by that, I mean people like to make out in their cars.

We finally arrived and, to be completely honest, the ride down wasn't half bad. It was nearly 6 and the movie would be starting soon... thank God for that. We drive all this way and I just really wanted to see the movie.

Bucky pulled into his designated spot and rolled down the window, tuning the stand up radio type speaker to the right volume before the movie began.

"Hey, Steve, we got a bit before the movie really starts... do you want something to eat?" He asked.

"Uhh..." the more I thought about it, the more I realized how completely starving I was. "Yea, sure," I decided.

"Okay I'll get us some popcorn then," he said, swinging his door open, getting out and walking towards the food stand.

I sat waiting in the black car all alone and thought all to myself. The terrors of this situation started to show themselves. I looked to both my right and left only to notice cars in very close (and very visible) proximity to us. I could see right in their windows and they could almost definitely do the same.

Now I realized for the first time the real struggles of the situation I've put myself in. We couldn't do anything outside, ever. Its not tolerated and under no circumstances would it be okay for me to assume that it might be someday soon. We would have to keep 'us' a secret for God knows how long. I couldn't do with him what other couples do with one another without literally breaking the law and-

The door swung open and he plopped down beside me. The air filled with butter and freshly popped corn. He handed me a bag. "Thanks," I said. He hummed in response.

"Ooo, it's starting," he told me, patting my forearm and pointing at the screen. We both turned our attention away from one another only to fixate on something else, the film.

• • •

Okay, this movie is a lot less scary than we thought it would be. It's genre is actually borderline romance if I'm being completely honest... she, the daughter of Dracula and therefore Countess, is in love with this man but he's in love with some other woman so the Countess put said woman under a sort of spell so the man would join her in the world of the undead as a vampire and accompany her into the future forever or something creepy but... I dunno its kinda romantic in a sense but overall it's- well, it's just weird.

I don't know, maybe I'm just going mad but I see it all as somewhat unusual and unsettling how someone could live for so many years and still look the same even though they've gone through a sort of metamorphosis. How could she possibly hope to still love that same man after all that she has lived through in the past 90 some odd years she has lived through...

Anyway, the mood... this weird aura floating around the outdoor theater is bizarre. It's like this holy crap this is a freaky movie but Jesus Christ I've never wanted you more in my whole entire life feeling.

I looked over at him as I inched my finger closer to my mouth with some popcorn, but I slowly lowered it back into the back when I noticed he was already looking at me. His eyes were like blue bullets piercing through my skin. I watched his chest ride and fall with my peripheral vision as he seemed to admire my face.

He bit his lower lip and I swallowed the lump in my throat. I hadn't seemed to notice how close our faces had gotten. We were leaning into the center of the car and my face was mere inches away from his. I opened my mouth to say something but he stopped me by gently placing his pointer finger on my lips.

"No. Don't," he whispered. "We can't."

I let my lips open just a little and breathed out slowly onto his finger. I found my tongue coming through and licking his finger... he added another and they danced in my mouth and around my lips and with my tongue. His breathing quickened, "Steve... fuck, Steve..." he whispered.

I watched how the lights from the flickering screen in front of the cars shine across his face. It shined through his eyes, illuminating the lighter blues and crisp whites in his iris. Though, the lust seemed to throw a shadow across them and make all the brightest colors darker but somehow more brilliant.

His eyes darted away to the side and he quickly pulled his hand away and put it on my shoulder and laughed. I turned around and there was a woman watching us from her car, so I joined in on the laughing and she looked away.

Soon thereafter, the credits rolled in and we peeled out of the old lot and made our way home.

The ride home was mostly silent, hell, I nearly dozed off a few times. It wasn't that it was awkward or anything... there just wasn't anything to really talk about, that's all.

When we got back to my place, my mom was already waiting by the window for us... I couldn't even get a goodnight kiss from him. I suppose it's just as well, couldn't kiss him before so might as well make me wait.

"G'night Steve," he said, almost adoringly.

"Night Buck, see ya tomorrow," I replied reluctantly, not wanting to leave him behind. Then I smiled and opened the door and walked in.

—————

That was definitely a successful... I think. Well, besides that lady watching us from the other car.

Either way, that whole finger thing... God. Don't even get me started on the eye signals he was sending me.

It's like every day we get closer and closer but... I don't know how to act on all these feelings I'm having. It's like nothing we do ever seems to be enough.

I want more. So, so much more.

~ Steven G. R.