Dearest Diary,

Today was yet another day for dressing up- no, not for Stark Tower or for another mission.

This time, it was to be just us. For our anniversary, as a matter of fact. It's been a while and a lot of offs and ons and everything, but I think we both consider each other a constant.

—————

"After you," Bucky opened the door for the people stopped politely on the other side, who proceeded to give us sideways smiles almost knowing full well who we were after thanking him. "And, you," he waved me past him.

"Thanks, Buck."

We approached the hostess at the front, who was utterly shocked at our being there, especially as we did happen to be at the fanciest restaurant in The City, a French place called Per Se (which also happened to have a $355 fee per person off the bat, so it better be good).

"Table for two, please," Bucky smiled at her.

She said nothing and just ogled at me like I was the most attractive person she'd ever seen walk the planet. "Uh- Captain America..."

Bucky smiled and nodded. "Steve Rogers is more like it," he joked.

She nodded slowly and paused a moment, trying to pull her eyes from my face. "And, your friend- er, you are?" she looked over at Bucky and asked his name, as if he was some random, unknown, person that just happened to be standing next to me in this moment.

"His boyfriend," he quickly replied with that full-blown New York accent of his. "So, how's that table lookin'?"

Her eyes got wide. "Yes, follow me, if you would."

She set the menus down before us and let us be, not saying another word to us. As soon as she was out of earshot, Bucky started laughing.

"Did you see the look on her face?" he asked, trying to stay quiet. "It was priceless!"

"Buck," I tried to calm him down.

"Okay, okay," he stopped. "What're we getting? I'm starving."

"Probably stuff off this Chef's Tasting Menu," I started. "What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me," he agreed. "I'll be getting the 'Oysters and Pearls' for my first course, then... sounds fancy enough."

I chuckled. "Good, because I'm getting the other one... the Royal Ossetra Caviar. Oh, and definitely the Hudson Valley Moulard Duck Foie Gras 'Pastrami' for my second."

"You know that's $30 extra, right?" he made sure.

"Bucky, get whatever the Hell you want, this is our anniversary," I assured him. "I don't think I've met anyone who's made it together as long as we have."

"Yea, 90-years with the same person is a Hell of a ride, I'll give you that," he answered. "But, I wouldn't trade it for the world."

"And you know damn well I started a civil war over you."

"Oh, trust me, I know," he smirked, looking back down at the menu.

"Good evening, gentlemen," our waiter arrived and greeted us. "My name is Julien, and I will be your waiter tonight. Might I start you both off with something to drink?"

"Yes, we'll take the... 3,000 milliliter Château Lafite-Rothschild 1949 from the Pauillac French Red collection."

"Certainly, I will return with that shortly," he replied, walking away.

"Steve, what the fuck did you just order? Was that even in English?" he whispered.

"We are at a French restaurant, you know," I reminded him. "But, it's just the best red wine they happen to sell here, is all."

"Christ, how much is it?"

"No, we're not talki-"

"Steve."

"Uhm... $23,400," I mumbled.

"Are you serious?"

"Maybe... but it's fine, really. I have money saved for this exact purpose."

"Fine."

The glasses before us were filled and the wine bottle was left behind for our use after we were done with our firsts and seconds, not that it mattered, seeing as alcohol had no effect on either of us. Julien took our orders and we talked and waited for our food to arrive, but the ambience inside and all around us was so sensual.

"So," he started. "What's on your mind?"

"Well, there is something, but I was gonna wait until tomorrow to bring it up," I replied.

"Why? Is it something bad?"

"No, not at all," I clarified. "It's just a question- a query, if you will. It's simple and meaningless but, I suppose since I've already started I may as well continue." He nodded. "So, when did you date Natasha?"

Silence.

"God, it feels like a whole lifetime ago," he admitted, as soon as the fog of memories cleared from his irises. "It was on and off for a good couple of years but I'll say it was the most official in 2009. We were around Iran and that surrounding area in that year, and I had missions and I guess she did too. There was a time I wasn't really doing much that allowed us to date a little, but once her mission crossed my path, they had me tracking her down- that was the immediate end of our relationship. It was just outside of a city called Odessa in Ukraine where she was trying to sneak some nuclear engineer HYDRA had their eye on for a few years... I shot through her to kill him and they, then, fell off a cliff and were presumed dead. Now, though, I see she survived."

"That's pretty much what she told me, you know, before she knew about me and you," I added. "Though, she called you James."

"I'm either Barnes or James. You're the only one who picks a derivative of my middle name, and I love it," he smiled. "But, uh... what about us did you specifically wanna know about if you already new the part I just told you?"

"Gentlemen," our waiter interrupted. "Your third course. Herb-Roasted Maine Diver Seas Scallop for Mister Barnes," Bucky sent me a look as an I-told -you-everyone-calls-me-that. "And Citrus Cured Montauk Fluke, for Mister Rogers. Enjoy."

"Thank you," I smiled at him. "Now, then," I continued after Julien walked away. "I was just kinda wondering what you guys, you know, did."

"What we did?" he came back rhetorically. "You mean, did we fuck?" he whispered.

"Buck- this is a nice place, you gotta stop saying that word," I chuckled.

"Okay, fine, but is that what you were implying?"

I nodded. "Yea, basically."

He waited. "I don't really know how explain this like, at all, but," he started, blushing and wiping his face with his napkin. "I guess I'll start with... you're the only guy I've ever had sex with."

"What about all the dames?"

"All of what dames?"

"From the '30s," I pointed out. "Delores, Catherine... Natasha. Even Peggy."

"Okay, first off all, I only flirted with Peggy as a joke, you both knew that," he laughed. "As for Dot and Catherine, they both wanted to get with me and, I suppose back then I thought I wanted to also... and I think I did. I can't be sure on anything because I don't remember everything about insignificant, probably now-dead, people because of how HYDRA wired me... I'm pretty sure I lost my 'straight-virginity' to Delores, if I'm honest. Even with Natasha, all those years later and after HYDRA erased you from my memory, I'm pretty sure we had sex at least once or twice. Throughout, though, I couldn't help but feel something was wrong- something I couldn't pinpoint. Anything before 2000 and after 1945 is even more blurred than I'd like to admit, and maybe it's better for us both that it stays that way; but because of that, I can't give you exacts."

"So-"

"So... I suppose the modern term for me is bisexual. Even though I've been with more women, it was either before us or after you were wiped from my memory. If I would have been born fully aware of you and never forgot, I never would have varied. Not once. It's only ever been you and me- for us both," he assured me. "Even though I've probably kissed more dames than you."

"Mehh, I'd call it even."

"Oh, yea? Like who?"

"Well," I started to think. "First it was you, then that vamp Lorraine, then Peggy... then Natasha."

"Woa, woa, woa," he stopped me. "That's the real reason you wanted to know about Natasha, isn't it?"

"What do yo-"

"Because you got with her an-"

"Stop, no," I interrupted. "I was going to, but then I couldn't. I physically was just unable to. I guess the modern term for me would be just straight up gay. Either way, the only person I've ever had sex with has been you- don't worry."

"But it is kinda strange that we both have the same taste in women, you know, seeing as, when it comes down to it... we're both gay as Hell."

I chuckled. "I guess you're right," I agreed.

"I suppose it's bound to happen, though, being together 90-years and all."

"Pardon my intrusion, Mister Barnes," Julien appeared out of nowhere, a little confused. "But, did you just tell your friend here that you've been with your lucky lady for 90-years?"

He looked at me like he was on fire after that comment. "No, Julien, you must have misheard me."

"Oh, excuse me, then."

"No, truly, allow me to explain," he started as I sent him a look so that he wouldn't, even though I knew he would anyway. "You see, I, HYDRA's The Winter Soldier, have just turned 108 and my boyfriend here, Captain America, is 107 in a month. And we have been together for 90-years, you know, since 1935."

"I see," Julien replied nervously after realizing he had been serving two trained assassins. "Well, I'll be back with the last course."

"Thank you," Bucky replied, looking back at me and very obviously trying to hide his laughter.

"You really gotta stop doing that," I warned him.

"Yea, yea, whatever," he chuckled.

After a few moments, our dessert had been served, and, after, we got our hefty $24,000+ check, paid, and were out of there as soon as possible.

—————

And, no, we weren't rushing out of there due to sheer embarrassment from Bucky making it so-very-obvious to literally everyone that we're gay and together for almost a hundred years... we were rushing because our house was all alone and empty and just begging for us to come back and fill the rooms with ungodly noises all night long.

I think we held up our end of that promise there, too, because we didn't get to sleep until I heard the birds outside start chirping. Oops.

As for everything Bucky said about the dames he'd been with... I don't mind. Not at all. I had a few flings while he was away and it's evident now that we're exclusive. If I wasn't literally gay, who knows what would have happened. It's not anyone's fault he's actually attracted to women and I'm not; not to forget the fact that he actually got with them at some point. 

I can't be mad about his sexuality or curiosity while I was away or before we were involved. That would be a never ending cycle of anger and sadness. I don't need that. I'd rather just move on, and I've already come to terms with it. 

It is funny, though, that we almost had sex with the same dame. Maybe it's a good thing, in the end, that I didn't go through with Natasha that one night...

~ Steve Rogers