Dear Diary,
We've all been glued to the televisions for weeks now. Mostly myself and Wanda.
It's been especially hard on her, though, because she thinks it's on her when it's really on me.
—————
I was listening to MSNBC on one of Stark's high tech computer TVs today all alone in one far away rooms at the new Avengers facility, just trying to get more information on what the world thought of us.
The screen read:
AVENGERS INDICTMENT? WORLD REACTION TO VIOLENCE
"Eleven Wakandans were among those killed during a confrontation between the Avengers and a group of mercenaries in Lagos, Nigeria last month," a female news anchor relayed. "The traditionally reclusive Wakandans were on an outreach mission in Lagos, when the attack occurred."
The screen switched and read:
KING T'CHAKA OF WAKANDA DEMANDS ACCOUNTABILITY FROM AVENGERS
"Our people's blood is spilled on foreign soil," he began. "Not only because of the actions of criminals, but by the indifference of those pledged to stop them. Victory at the expense of the innocent is no victory at all."
"The Wakandan king went on to s-" I shut the screen off. I couldn't listen to it anymore, it was too heartbreaking.
Though, immediately after doing so, I heard a similar story playing in a room nearby on someone else's TV.
"They are operating outside and above the international law. Because that's the reality, if we don't respond to acts like these..." I stood and made my way towards the sound. It was Wanda's room, so I stood in the doorway and picked up the remote from the nightstand on which she'd left it and listened a little more to what they were saying. "What legal authority does an enhanced individual like Wanda Maximoff have to operate in Nigeri-" I turned the TV off.
She glanced at me, then looked away. "It's my fault," she told me.
"That's not true," I replied, my arms crossed.
"Turn the TV back on," she requested. "They're being very specific."
"I should've clocked that bomb vest long before you had to deal with it," I admitted, leaving the doorway and approaching her. "Rumlow said 'Bucky'.... and all of a sudden I was a 16-year-old kid again, in Brooklyn." I sat down next to her. "And people died... It's on me."
"It's on both of us," she corrected me.
"This job," I started, shaking my head. "We try to save as many people as we can. Sometimes that doesn't mean everybody. But if we can't find a way to live with that, then next time... maybe nobody gets saved."
Vision, then, phased through the wall and took us both by surprise.
"Vis! We talked about this," she reprimanded him.
"Yes, but the door was open, so I assumed that-" he stopped himself. "Captain Rogers wished to know when Mr. Stark was arriving."
I nodded. "Thank you," I replied. "We'll be right down."
He pointed to his left. "I'll... use the door." And made his way there. "Oh, and apparently, he's brought a guest."
"We know who it is?" I asked.
"The Secretary of State," Vision answered before leaving us.
A few moments later, we met everyone else down at the conference room, along with Secretary Ross. We all sat along the long table as he stood, talking, before us.
He sighed. "Five years ago I had a heart attack and dropped right in the middle of my backswing," he motioned as if he was playing golf. "Turned out it was the best round of my life because after thirteen hours of surgery and a triple bypass, I found something forty years in the Army never taught me... Perspective." He paused. "The world owes the Avengers an unplayable debt. You have fought for us, protected us, risked your lives... but while a great many people see you as heroes, there are some that would prefer the word 'vigilantes.'"
"What word would you use, Mr. Secretary," Natasha put him on the spot.
"How about 'dangerous'?" he replied instantaneously. "What would you call a group of US-based, enhanced individuals who routinely ignore sovereign borders and inflict their will wherever they choose and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about what they leave behind?"
He, then, stepped aside to reveal the screen behind him. "New York," he started. The screen showed the attacks led by Loki and fought by the Chitauri back in 2012. "Washington, D.C." he went on. The screen depicted the three helicarriers in the air shooting at one another and falling to the ground as people ran away from the surrounding areas and collapsing Triskelion in 2014. "Sokovia," he mentioned. The screen displayed people scattering from falling rock and whole buildings as a massive chunk of Earth flew into the sky by Ultron's will in 2015. "Lagos," he added. The screen played a video of that building Wanda and I let explode and burn a month ago.
"Okay, that's enough," I told him, watching as it all took a toll on Wanda.
"For the past four years, you've operated with unlimited power and no supervision," he continued. "That's an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer tolerate... but, I think we have a solution." The man to his left handed him a stack of papers. He slid it onto the table before Wanda. "The Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they'll operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary."
"The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place," I reminded him. "I feel we've done that."
"Tell me, Captain," he requested. "Do you know where Thor and Banner are right now?" I looked up at him like I was about to- "If I misplaced a couple of 30 megaton nukes, you can bet there'd be consequences." He walked away from me. "Compromise. Reassurance. That's how the world works. Believe me, this is the middle ground."
"So," Rhodes began. "There are contingencies."
"Three days from now, the UN meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords." I looked back at Tony and he looked back at me, but I couldn't read him. "Talk it over," Ross told us.
"And if we come to a decision you don't like?" Natasha proposed.
"Then you retire," he replied before walking out.
We found ourselves in the common area discussing - more like arguing about - the Accords and what to do about them.
"Secretary Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor," Rhodes started, talking to Sam. "And that's one more than you have."
"So, let's say we agree to this thing," Sam proposed. "How long is it gonna be before they LoJack us like a bunch of common criminals?"
I watched Tony roll his eyes at the conversation.
"117 countries want to sign this," Rhodes pointed out. "117, Sam, and you're just like, 'No, that's cool. We got this.'"
"How long are you gonna play both sides?" Sam came back at him.
"I have an equation," Vision announced.
"Oh, this'll clear it up," Sam remarked sarcastically.
"In the eight years since Mr. Stark announced himself as Iron Man," he explained. "The number of known enhanced persons has grown exponentially. During the same period, the number of potentially world-ending events has risen at a commensurate rate."
"Are you saying it's our fault?" I asked, looking up from the Accords that I was literally reading.
"I'm saying there may be a causality.... Our very strength invites challenge. Challenge incites conflict. And conflict," he introduced. "...breeds catastrophe. Oversight... Oversight is not an idea that can be dismissed out of hand."
"Boom," Rhodes said.
"Tony," Natasha provoked him. "You're being uncharacteristically non-hyperverbal."
"It's because he's already made up his mind," I told her.
"Boy, you know me so well," he replied, glancing over at me before standing. "Actually, I'm nursing an electromagnetic headache. That's what's going on, Cap. It's just pain," he walked into the kitchen. "It's discomfort- Who's putting coffee grounds in the disposal? Am I running a bed and breakfast for a biker gang?" he paused and propped his phone up in the fruit bowl. We all watched as an image popped up of a young male. "Oh, that's Charles Spencer, by the way. He's a great kid. Computer Engineering Degree, 3.6 GPA, had a floor-level gig at Intel planned for the fall. But first, he wanted to put a few miles on his soul before he parked it behind a desk. See the world. Maybe be of service. Charlie didn't wanna go to Vegas or Fort Lauderdale, which is what I would do. He didn't go to Paris or Amsterdam, which sounds fun. He decided to spend his summer building sustainable housing for the poor. Guess where- Sokovia." He paused. "He wanted to make a difference, I suppose. We wouldn't know because we dropped a building on him while we were kicking ass." He took his Advil and approached us. "There's no decision-making process here. We need to be put in check. Whatever form that takes, I'm game. If we can't accept limitations, if we're boundry-less, we're no better than the bad guys."
"Tony," I interrupted his thought. "Someone dies on your watch, you don't give up."
"Who says we're giving up?"
"We are if we're not taking responsibility for our actions. This document just shifts the blame," I reminded him.
"Sorry, Steve. That..." Rhodes began. "That is dangerously arrogant. This is the United Nations we're talking about. It's not the World Security Council, it's not S.H.I.E.L.D., it's not HYDRA-"
"No, but it's run by people with agendas and agendas change," I cut him off.
"That's good," Stark came in. "That's why I'm here. When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands I shut it down and stopped manufacturing."
"Tony, you chose to do that," I came back. "If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don't think we should go? What if there's somewhere we need to go and they don't let us? We may not be perfect, but the safest hands are still our own."
"If we don't do this now, it's gonna be done to us later," he replied. "That's the fact. That won't be pretty."
"You're saying they'll come for me," Wanda spoke up.
"We would protect you," Vision promised her.
"Maybe Tony's right," Nat agreed. "If we have one hand on the wheel, we can still steer. If we take it off-"
"Aren't you the same woman who told the government to kiss her ass a few years ago?" Sam confronted her.
"I'm just... I'm reading the terrain," she told him. "We've made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back."
"Focus up. I'm sorry. Did I just mishear you, or did you agree with me?" Tony played around.
"Oh, I wanna take it back now," she mumbled.
"No, no, no, you can't retract it," he shook his finger at her jokingly. "Thank you. Unprecedented. Okay. Case closed. I win."
My cellular telephone started to buzz on the table next to me, so I picked it up. There was a text from an unknown number. It read:
She's gone. In her sleep.
And, just then, I knew it had to be Peggy. Who else could it have been? God, I didn't know my heart could break like this.
"I have to go," I announced and stood up, making my way out and placing the accords on the table before me.
They watched me leave.
No one said a word.
—————
I made my way down the stairwell on my way to my quarters.
I had to stop on the way there because I really just couldn't hold back the tears.
I'm really going to miss her.
~ S. R.
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