Dedicated to nonfictionsim because he's the ultimate rat :)

11

I had been on my way home from an appointment at the hospital, making my way home on the transit that smelled like a copious amount of people had recently been on it and still were. I had gone through another CT scan and was feeling tired from the long day in one place. I was doing better, they had said. It wasn't me overall. My brain was doing better they had said. I was lucky my brain had suffered only a small amount of damage. The brain itself could do many things, even reorganizing itself despite not having the cells to regernate. I went to ring Stephen but when he didn't answer, I rang my sister instead.

My 17 year old sister, the one who only shared our dad's nose with me and nothing more, picked up on the second ring.

"Hey." She said and with only one word, my mind was wracking with what was wrong on that bus ride home.

"What happened?" I asked.

She sighed into the phone and it was then I got her story of high school drama. Hearing my sister speak about the issues she had in high school that involved a boy, a boy I knew she had been obessing over since I was in high school, made me realize many things.

One, that I clearly have not spoken to my sister in a while because she was telling me things that have happened over six months ago.

Two, high school drama was the drama she would forget about and not even remember clearly in five years.

Three, that I remember worrying over things like friendships I knew would not ever last or how my hair would look like every single day going to that place she goes to now. And none of that shit mattered now.

I gave her an honest reponse, telling her to move on like I had done months before and with a promise I knew she would not keep, she told me she would. Changing the topic while I still had a long way to get home from the hospital, she let out an breath into the reciever. "So, what is going on in your love life?"

I didn't respond for a second, looking outside of the window where the rain was hitting the ground, the bus, everywhere. The sky above looked cloudy and gloomy. It only added to my tiredness from the long day at the hospital on a a day off from not just school but work as well.

My mind stopped wandering, remembering that she had asked me something. "Hmm?"

She repeated her previous question. "What is going on in your love life?"

I debated on whether I should answer her question. On one hand, if I didn't tell her about Stephen she was going to drag it out of me anyway. It wouldn't take long anyway. On the latter, if I did tell her she may do something like immediately tell our parents and that would lead to Geneiveve and I getting a visit from them to conviently 'drop by'. I didn't need that but I felt like it was going to happen anyway.

"There's a guy."

My sister made a sound of interest as another person walked onto the bus before it started moving again. "Name?"

"Stephen."

"How long have you guys been dating?" She urged, wanting to know as much information as possible by her tone.

"We haven't exactly been dating-"

"No way. You're hooking up with someone? Really?"

"It's not like that-"

"J, are you having sex with the man or not? Answer that question."

"Yeah." I said.

"What is he like? Is he good?"

"I'm not having this conversation with you."

"Why?"

"You're seventeen!" I exclaimed as the bus stopped at a stop and some people filed out of the bus.

"So?" She sighed. "You're not one of those people that think all teenagers are innocent, right? I swear you lost your virginity in high school."

"I lost it in college." I corrected. "And no I'm not going to think that. There's you. You're not innocent and I really don't want to think about what my little sister does when she asks our parents to go somewhere."

"Just answer the question." She demanded.

"Yes, he is good."

"What is he? Dark, tall and handsome?"

"Very." I muttered.

"Can I see a picture?"

"No." I cut her off and she whined.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not even sure if this may go somewhere. It's just physical."

"Physical? It doesn't sound like you want it to be physical."

I bit my lip, staring outside before I told her my next words. "I told him I loved him a few weeks ago."

"What?"

"Yeah."

"What did he say back?"

"He said I know." I informed her.

"What the fuck?"

"It makes sense. I was going to fall for him anyway and he just doesn't feel trhe same. Don't worry."

"I'm not worrying for you. He's going to fall for you. He's having sex with you. He's bound to get addicted."

"Addicted?"

"Yeah. I mean love takes time. He could fall for you tomorrow or the next month but either way he may as well come back to you."

"He used to have sex with differnt women before he met me."

"Those women weren't you and- wait is he clean?"

I laughed. "He's clean."

"Just making sure. The last thing you want is to randomly get chlamydia or-"

"Yeah, stop."

There was a sound in the background and suddenly my sister's attention was somewhere else. "Um, J I need to go. Todd is here."

Todd? The guy she's been obessing over for years, Todd? That Todd was in my old home? "How did he get inside?"

"He snuck in through the window."

"Dad's gunna kill you if he finds out he's there."

"Well, mom and dad aren't home right now."

"Then why did he sneak in through the window?"

"Because we have nosy neighboyrs that tell them everything. Anyway, love you, bye." She hung up the phone quickly and I stared at my phone with wonder. Interesting when your little sister isn't so little anymore.

The bus stopped near my house and I got off it, shoving my phone in my pocket. Running through the street, I realized I had forgooten my umbrella at home as well and got hit with pellets of rain until I had my way to the porch of the tiny house. I unlocked the door with a sigh of relief when I entered. Closing the door behind me, I put my bag on the kitchen table to realize that the lights were on, meaning Genevive was home.

When she wans't in the living room, I figured she was in her room. Taking off my sweater, I made my way to her room to get one of my big shirts I had left in there the night before, opening the door without knocking.

I should have knocked. Maybe the shock wouldn't have come so quickly. It wouldn't have.

My heart broke. It shattered into a million pieces. Those pieces scattered across the floor, the sound resonating through my ears. The sight was unbelievable. Unbelievable to the point where I could hear my breath catch in surprise.

"Juliana." My name was the only thing said in shock. Shock that I had witnessed the scene in front of me.

"Juliana." He repeated just when I was ready to make my way out of the house.

"Don't. Leave me alone. Let me go." I demanded for the first time in front of him, opening the door. He closed it before I had the chance, bringing me towards him. I stilled and allowed him to do so, closing my eyes. "What Stephen? What could you possibly want from me?"

"I didn't mean for you to see that."

"You didn't mean for me to see you fucking my best friend? Of course you didn't." I looked up at Genevieve who was holding the sheet around her, covering up her body. On the other hand, he wasn't covered. His dick stood at full attention I knew he was waiting for me to give.

He did disappoint. For the first time he did.

My eyes moved back to Stephen and I broke out of his hold, staring him in his eyes, waiting for him to say something. I'm not eve sure what I expected. Did I want him to say sorry? Sorry that he was fooling around with my co-worker, my roommate, my best friend or that he was sorry that he got caught. That he thought that he loved me but he didn't.

He pursed his lips. "I understand that I've hurt you." He paused, looking at me. Waiting for me to say anything more. I didn't. I looked back at him, trying not to let the anguish appear on my face. "I'm sorry."

"Apology not accepted." I said, trying to open the door again, to leave the suffocating room but Stephen was in my way.

"Why not? Baby, we're so good together."

"You can be good with her." I sarcastically said, nodding to Genevieve who had not said a single word.

"Why not? When I can have the both of you?" Stephen whispered, low enough for the both of us to hear.

I didn't respond. He traced his finger down my face and I held in a shiver, trying for the first time not to succumb. Not to submit to him like I always had.

Not today.

As much as I wanted to. As much as I wanted him close, pushed his hand away, glaring up at him. "I loved you."

"You still love me Juliana."

"I can't. Not if you're like this. Not when you say you want only me and don't act on it ."

He took in a deep breath, slight irritation covering his features. "I'm not going to change Juliana. This is the way I am. I know you love me but this can't change me. Your love can't change who I am."

My love couldn't change who he is.

He doesn't want to change. I didn't say anything more to that and I left the house, walking through the rain without a doubt in my mind. And that was fine.