"Is it my birthday present daddy?" pointing her little cute finger, the 3 yo toddler smiling brightly toward her daddy. The daddy looking at his younger friend who's now holding his daughter on his embrace.

"What's present sweetie?" he then lowering his head to look at his daughter and then following where his daughter's hand pointing at.

"Barbie. I told you I love barbie." Impatiently she whined at her father confused look and then watching her mom, asking for help to make her dad understand. "Mommy."

"That's not barbie, Suji. Let me introduce you to her." Then her mother offering her both hand to hold her daughter, but the little one refuse it while hugging her uncle tighter.

"Suji want to stay with Kookie oppa." Stubbornly the girl only earning chuckled from her mother and then her mother waving her hand toward someone who's now talk seriously with her other friend. The blonde one recognizes it and then hesitantly move closer awkwardly.

"Barbie.. Barbie.. Barbie.." the little girl look so hyper while moving her body up and down make her uncle frowning. Watching the hyper toddler make the girl flashing her sweet smile instantly for a moment bring down her shield, for a moment let everyone watching what she felt.

"Hi, Suji. Happy birthday." She beamed while brought up one bag and handle it to her.

"Daddy, she can speak. Barbie can speak."

--

"Stop watching her with that creepy smile on your face." Startled I look away, got red handed watching my barbie holding Suji in her embrace. Suji is still watching her like she was the real barbie, open mouth in awe while whispering "Barbie" all the time. I can't blame Suji, anyway. Lisa is too perfect to be real.

"This weird costume finally worth it, right?" Yoongi hyung tapping my back and then sitting beside me, sharing the view of his daughter and my Lisa chuckled every time their eyes met. Jennie and the girls seem find it funny too, they talk and then chuckled, keep repeating it but I will never bore with.

"I was about to put poison into your drink." I hissed as I rewind the memories how Lisa tries to not laugh at me as Yeri commenting my Conan's costume. Yoongi hyung faking his laugh while beating my thigh.

"Do you think I am okay wearing this trash?" he then pointing at his own costume. He is a Naruto today. I sigh watching his entire look sadly, and then looking away once again watching the girls again. Poor him. Poor us.

"But turn out my daughter loving what I do. All the sacrifices, she kisses my cheeks lately." I watch his face, the pink shade coloring his pale cheeks as he smiles widely. He looks so damn happy watching his wife and his daughter.

"What it feels like?" feeling the warm feeling inside me make me want to explode, looking at Lisa I am asking it.

"Huh?" I heard Yoongi hyung responded.

"What it feels like? To have wife. And kid. To have your own family." It feels like my body is burning by the words I am saying. There is something big at the end of my throat. Something that make my breath hitched. This little weird and painful feeling then tickling my heart. I don't know what it is.

"I wonder what it feels like. That happiness. What it feels like." The feeling got heavier and heavier make my heart sinking to the ground as the memories about the old me and the old Lisa holding hand, that pretty smile of hers will never leave my memories no matter how hard I try to erase it.

I know it might be too late now to apologize, for wishing her to look at me again. I witnessed how cold she turns out to be. She was so warm, the warmest and most comfortable place I will always run to every time the rain is pouring. As Suji asking her to hold her, I touch her hand, and it felt cold. I turn her to be cold. My warm barbie, I've changed her to be cold and heartless woman.

"She's changed, hyung." I tell Yoongi hyung as he keeps on silent. "I can see it in her eyes, felt it in her touch, and hear it in her tone." I swear I never blame anyone; I never blame Jennie and Yoongi hyung for having a wonderful life, I never blame Soomi thought. I changed her too. I make her turn to be a greedy girl. She was the most innocent person I ever met. But I made her change.

"She is not the same." I am gulping the hard lump on my throat as I hold the tears. "She will never comeback."

"Are you going to surrender now?" I didn't answer his question. Part of me sometimes want it, want to feel nothing toward her, want to be free, want to stop torturing myself. I was not scared to walk away, never. I was scared she wouldn't follow. "Stop questioning. Stop waiting. That's a fool of me to waited for such a long time, waiting Jennie to forgive me and years after I found her hate me even more."

"I had gulped that pain, and I don't want you to taste the same." I look down to my hand which is resting on my lap. The ring on my hand is still there, two rings which is one of them should be belong to her. She gave it back to me; she doesn't want me anymore.

"If she asks you for more time, it's been 4 damn fucking years."

"She doesn't want me."

"She through that burned bridge to give you that wings." The first drop falling to my thumb as I feel something exploding in my chest. I can't handle it. "What good are wings without the courage to fly?"

I force myself to look at Yoongi hyung, starring at him who's now smiling genuinely on me. "Fly, brother. Fly and make your own happiness. Fly."