"I am sorry, Liz I am sorry." That was the first thing I heard from him after I woke up. Head still dizzy, and ache in everywhere in my body I try to grab my sanity back to my body. Flinching at the brightness of the color of hospital room's wall I close my eyes back. "I am sorry, I shouldn't touch you that way. I am sorry."

One hand grabs my hand tightly, with him begging and crying in front of me, desperately. I can see how many bandages covering each of my fingers, the purple bruises on my arm and the paralyzed foot. I can feel throb in my face, I can sense the stings taste on my lips. But it was only that, I can only feel numb at what had happened.

I gave you all of my trust, and is this what i get from you?

I can still remember the glint on his eyes once I mention about him setting me free. It was full of anger and disappointment. It makes me for a second startled, he was so soft and caring. And the one in front of me just not him. He is different.

You know how bad my past was, and yet you repeat its story all over again. You pour salt on my wet wound.

I am bad. I know that. Once again, is there anything that is not broken after I touch them?

I trust you with all of my everything and here you are, act like her. Just like her.

Her, a woman who destroy him. And him too, destroy her to the bone mercilessly.

I gave you everything, I gave you freedom and you asked more and more. You wanted to run to him now huh? You fuck want to run toward someone who throw you away, if it's not because of me, you wouldn't even know that today is exist.

The soft and caring Mino, disappear like ashes right in front of my eyes, in very second, he disappears just like that. Replaced with the demon that he tries to fight with. The side he never wants me to know, never wanted me to see.

Run! Run and I will destroy both of you, I will kill both of you just like what I did before.

The smirk on his face will never leave my memories, I just know that. The way he smirks when he said that words sending thousands knife to my heart, shivering, scared. He can't touch Jungkook. I won't let him.

I will break his leg just like this. I will punch him just like this. I can't have you, so not for him too.

I can still hear my own scream last night when I beg him to look at me, begging him to control himself as he breaks the legs of mine and punching me like a monster. I wanted to make sure that it's not a dream. I thought that he changes, but just like what Soomi said to me that day.

The one like me and him will never change, it will never disappear. It's the part of ourselves.

Soomi what should I do, I wanted to run toward Jungkook now. Wanted to taste the comfortable feeling he always gave me with his warm hug, with that beautiful bunny smile that I can't resist. I miss him, I don't want to live without him. But if I insist to confront Mino, I can't even guarantee that I can protect Jungkook from Mino. One Soomi is enough to torture Jungkook, we don't need one more.

"I am sorry, I lost my control when you... when you..." he is still crying burying his face on my hand, can't even spell what he wanted to say because of the large lump on his chest. I know, it must be hard too for him. I just destroy him. He is right, after all the freedom he had gave to me, this is all what I give back to him. A treason.

The aches coming from every movement I made as I try to embrace him, maybe he nearly breaks my ribs too, but I deserve this. Again, he was right, if it's not because of him I probably already gone. Recalling the memory when I try to commit suicide. He was the one who convince me, who make me feel lighter, the morphine of my never-ending pain. My neck soaked wet with his tears as he buried his face on the crook of my neck, hiccupping like a kid. Yeah, Mino is only a kid. He only needs to be calmed. He won't hurt anyone.

"I am sorry, Liz. I don't want to hurt you; I don't want to harm you. It just... that my body act without my brain process anything first." He confesses with a trembling voice; I path his back calming him. "I am nothing without you, that's what the only thing I could think, I am sorry. Don't leave me." Beg him.

I wanted to assure him that everything is going to be okay, but of course I would only be lying to him. No, I won't lie to him. Everything that I will choose will only hurting people, now I just only choosing wisely between Mino and Jungkook, who I wanted to hurt the most. Silence is only what I can do, looking into infinity thinking hard. If I choose Mino, I will leave Jungkook in a sadness once again. After I left him 4 years ago, his confidence just disappears like ashes, he always thinks that I never wanted him, he will never trust me anymore.

But in other side, if I choose Jungkook, it will make Mino lost his control. I am afraid that he will do everything he told me last night, I don't want to put Jungkook in danger. Right, Jungkook will move on one day right if I disappear and never comeback. I will be forgotten, I will only be the untold story between our friends, the unspoken girl.

I hate that concept, the classic concept between the sun that loves the earth with their distance. To keep the earth, save from its fire. Sounds mature and brave, but still, pathetic. Maybe Jungkook will hates me so much, maybe he won't even understand what I do for us. It's okay, that's the way I love him. Just like the love he felt to me, gentle and pure. And here is Mino with his love. His love that is like a candle. His love that if once I forget him, it will burn my fucking house down.

"I won't leave you." I said that words without hesitation and very calm. As if I mean it, as if I want it. Then he looks at me with wide eyes, the watery eyes Mino looking at me in confusion. "Let's go home and make a good family." I nodded giving him half heart smile that I know will never reach my heart. "Will you marry me, Song Mino?"

God, can't I have the happy ending?

--

"Jungkook, ya..." I heard one voices yelled to me, banging the door like a maniac. "Jungkook, wake up!"

But i didn't budge it, this is not the way I wanted to be woken up. I still close my eyes when I heard the sounds of door cracking and someone entering my bedroom.

"Is this how we teach you to respect guest? At least come out from your room and greet us." He seems annoyed by the fact how calm I maintained myself when he throws tantrum.

"Tae, calm down a little bit, will you? He is not deaf." There come another one entering my bedroom as well, make Taehyung hyung sigh in desperation. "Jungkook-ah, let's eat! Jin hyung bring you delicious meals." He said then caressing my bangs.

"See?" Tae interrupt him, make Jimin hyung got silences and sat beside me.

"You've been like this for a while, it's not health. Please wake up and eat. Please!" he begged me but of course no response. Yeri and auntie Irene already beg me to eat too for a week straight. Knowing that I will not hearing their words dad just ask doctor to come to our house, injecting IV drop to me as a support, but I simply helpless. I don't have the desire to live anymore. I don't have the reason to live anymore.

"Suji and Soomi, Jennie also come to see you." I don't react, being the stubborn I am making Jimin hyung also nearly give up. "I know that it's hurt, but you can't change anything by laying weakly like this. If you wanted her, you should be strong and find her." But how, how. I wanted to know how I could find her, and what I should do to make her wanted me back.

She fools me, she said she will be there when I woke up but it's only our wedding ring beside my body. How can I erase every single happy moment I have with her after what had happen between us? I told her that she is my life, but seems she take it as a joke. Because if she takes it seriously, she won't leave me. I don't want to live anymore if it's not with her. Once again life become unfair to me and her.

The hateful Jennie came back to Yoongi hyung and Suji. She forgives everything that Soomi did to her past. She said she wanted to try starting the new life with them again. Soomi will get married with Mingyu soon, she looks so happy and content. I can't even give her that smile when we were together. Taehyung hyung and Jisoo noona expecting their baby to born in 2 months, while Jimin hyung and Rose have a good announcement about Rose's pregnant.

And how about me and Lisa? How about us, God? How many sins should we pay to get the happy ending just like else? Why don't you take me, bring me out from this misery, end my life please!