"Sir, can you bring the luggage inside?" I ask the driver when we arrived. I was so excited, stomping my foot to the car floor from the airport till here. Heart thumping crazily as the distance cut off. I smile nervously to the driver when he nodded, well, who won't. I will meet him; I am coming back after our dispute a week ago.

Honestly, I don't want to put so much hope that he will be friendly toward me, I was planning to not come back and being happy to raise little Kevin, my little brother. But Mino was there, keep reminding me that I didn't finish what I start. I was only nodding not really think about it, until yesterday grandpa called me. And my heart clenched as I heard his voice, I don't know that I grew fond to him, but I do. I was crying after speaking with grandpa and Yeri when Mino hugged me, he hushes me and then packing my stuff, handing me the plane ticket which is I don't know when he bought it. I was even more surprised when mom wasn't even frowning when Mino telling mom that he will send me to the airport.

"I can take care of your little brother, so don't worry. And hurry come back." He then kissed me, push me to the queue. I waved my hand while crying, he changes, so much. He grew to be a soft man, such a lovely man, I should be happy to have him, but sometimes, it still feels wrong for me. I feel like, I am coming home to the wrong house when he touches me. It did right that I could forget the pain of past when he touches me, but I feel empty at the same time.

I was about to knock the door when auntie Irene open the door with bright and wide smile, and then hugged me tight. Warmth feeling creeping through her body make me smile in delight, mom. "You said a week." She said and then facing me, caressing my cheeks with a smile that never leave her face. "Look at you, did you lose weight?" I shook my head with a smile plastered on my lips.

"No auntie, I gain weight tough." I tell her and then stealing glance to the house, seems knowing that I am not entering the house yet, auntie Irene then chuckled.

"Oh dear, sorry. I was so happy to see you that I am forget to let you enter the house." She said while drag me to the living room. "I was making dinner for us, and I ask Yeri to go to market since I forget to buy Wine." I smile while watching her entering the kitchen, tying her pink apron and then cut potatoes. Half whispering, she then tell me again. "She went with Jong-Hyun." I widened my eyes when I heard that. "And yes dear, they are together now." I clasp my hand and smile brighter when I heard that. Finally.

"Miss, where should I put the luggage?" I was taken aback when the driver looking at me confuse while carrying my luggage, then I lead him to up stair.

"Here, sir." I opened my room and then gesturing him to let in. After that he processed to take another luggage from the car again, leaving me in the room. I brought so many things for Yeri since she wanted so many things, like clothes, even chocolates. Also, for the unnies and oppas. Smiling while tidying the luggage I exited my room just to face dumbfounded Jungkook in front of his room's door.

"Hi." I break the silences that feel so uncomfortable around us for minutes, I smile thinly still feel awkward. "How-"

"Why are you coming back?" he cuts my words still with that poker face, hurting me more.

"I promise-"

"You broke it." I bit my lips as he cuts my words again. He is angry. "Again."

"Look, I am sorry Jungkook. I-"

"Stop with the nonsense." He snorted ruffling his now already brown hair, smirking on the way he bored on my eyes. "What do you want? Can you leave me, can you not haunt me like this?"

"But-"

"I can handle everything in here, I am still alive without you. Even more feel better now." No, don't cry Lisa. You are not weak. He only wanted to hurt you just because you did it first.

"But-"

"I-"

"Shut the fuck your mouth." I shouted on him make him flinch. I inhale the air deeply before I start my words again. "I've told you what had happened, my mom gave birth, she had surgery for that and there was no female in the house, it was only me. I should take care of my siblings."

"Of course. That is why I ask you to never come back." Why did he become so stubborn. "Who am I to even think that I am important for you huh?" he then asked still standing on his spot. "I am no one but someone who you wanted to throw away over and over."

"No, please Jungkook. Don't talk like that." I said with all of my genuine feeling.

"You know that I am crazy for you, so you took advantage from me, promise me with the sweet things, I even act like an idiot while waiting for you. and you said that it's a NO?" he looked away when I try to lock his eyes with mine. "Do I look so desperate? Do I look like someone who will never be able to forget you? To erase all the feeling, damn it." He cursed when he sees me. "You fucking do terrible thing to me and coming back with an innocent figure, and torture me again and again."

"No. Please understand my condition."

"Kids." Auntie Irene seems bothered of our bickering as she climbs the stair look after us.

"Stay on your line." He sternly said it to auntie Irene, I look at her, nodding my head gesturing her that I can handle this. I don't even sure, but she left hesitantly. I was about to talk to him again when the door of his room opened revealing Tzuyu with oversize white buttoned blouse which is I know belong to Jungkook. I look at them in horror when Jungkook looking at her so lovingly and bring her into his arm. I don't know what that is for, this anger, is that for the promise he broke or for the jealousy. I feel like the fire inside me once again burn me. Jungkook seems knowing the change of my emotion when he looks at me still smirking.

"What? Can't I have girlfriend?" I can only look at him bitterly when he said girlfriend thing while Tzuyu smiling ear to ear. "Didn't you ask me to unlove you right? So, congratulation. I granted your wish."

"What did I said about no girls brought to the house." I gritted my teeth while saying my words.

"You are not my mom, Lis." He spoke. "You better go and never show that face in front of me again." It hurts. Stop, please. "Better fuck with that psycho, I wonder why your life surrounded with the same kind of person. It was Jinny and now Mino." There, you test my limit Jungkook.

I come toward to boy and slap him, right on her right cheek, hard. For a while I was forget that I still wearing the ring on my finger, little did I know blood already there on his cheek. But he deserves it. I should've killed him.

"Stop pushing your damn luck, Son Jungkook." In full anger I call him by his real family name. "You've been playing in the thin ice, and I let you because I understand that you are still labile." He looks at me while snorting when he found the blood on his palm. "Don't you know why did my sister died? Have you forgot it? You are the main reason of all the things had happened, all the sorrow, all the lies, all the death, it was your fault."

"I should've just left you since the day one. I had thinking that all the lost worth it, with you, safe. But to see what you are right now, not even feeling sorry for the death of my two best friends, you just making their death as a joke." The tears keep coming even though I want it to stop, I try it, but it just flowing that way, I can't handle it, I can't stop crying when I think about Jinny. I am sorry Jinny. "I regret for everything. Fuck it, I should've never coming back." I cursed while rubbing my eyes harshly.

Mino, I will kick his ass as soon as I arrived. "Thanks to unlove me." I tell him and then run passing the stair quickly, not even look back. "Fuck. I can't believe that I waste my time for this shit." No, I will never. "Sir, can you please take the luggage back to your car, we will be heading to the airport again." I tell the driver between my sobs and then I hugged auntie Irene.

"Are you sure dear?" she asked worriedly wiping the tears that is still flowing. I nodded but can't speak because I know, I will break and collapse in here. I don't want him to see me this way, I can't show him. "I am sorry." She said before I run toward the car, sitting and wiping the tears, try to calm myself.

Stop, Lalisa Manoban. You are a strong woman. One man can't break you this way, you shouldn't let him break you. Closing my eyes, I imagine the cutie pie Kevin and smiling with the bitter still lingering in my heart, I don't care. But he must be right, why did I keep coming back when I told him that I will never. Why did I keep chasing after him, why did I torture him. I was the real problem; I should've known that. He had the better life without me, he said that. Yeah, I am the problem, that's why I need to go. With the thought I wipe the tears and look forward boldly, inhaling the air and stop crying. You are not ten.

But how did he survive after 4 years? It hurts, physically and mentally, and how he manages to survive. There is nothing more painful than grieving someone who's still living.

The driver just entering the car and starting the engine, almost start driving when the sudden force on my left makes the driver startled. He pushes the button on his right, unlocking the door and suddenly the left door on my side opened harshly, I was dumbfounded to see one strong arm grab my hand and pull me out from the car.

I was facing the face of his with confused, not long after that he grabs Tzuyu behind him with another hand then pushing her to enter the car. "Ahjussi, please take her to her place after you put the luggage."

"Jungkook oppa." On other hand Tzuyu look so lost and pleading with her eyes, still tugging on his sleeves, and here I was, watching all the scene like a dumb.

"Tzuyu, it's over." He said straightforwardly bring the girl loosening the tug and sat in the car with a watery eye. "You know what I feel toward Lisa and you still offering to heal it, I am so grateful."

"But why?" she asks again with a low voice. I frown at the sight, what had happened.

"No. You deserve better than me, than someone who can't move on, there is no room left in here for you. Or for anyone. I am sorry, Tzuyu. And thank you." he caressed the girl hair with a genuine smile, and what is me who's only looking at his trembling hand got pale now? "Goodbye."

I was dragged to up stair, still can't fully understand of his act. Why did he pull and push so fast, did he just hurt me and ask me to never come back and now he drag me, entering his room and then locked us, let go of my head, leaving his hand's sweat on my wrist.

"Stay." He said while looking at me. I was mesmerized by that warm and beautiful brown eye, but suddenly I made up my mind, no, he shouldn't look back at me. It was good that he said he will try to move on with a girlfriend. Even though I want him to be by my side, but I can't be greedy, I have Mino, and in fact will get married soon. I can't save two mans in my life. No. Step backward I shook my head.

"I think you are right." I told him, his is frozen. "I think it's time to let me go. The daydreaming, the running in place, it's not healthy. So here you are, cut the cord!" I look away when I saw his tears, God, it must be hard, I always make you cry like this, sorry, love. "This is what you should have done years ago." I bite my lips suppressing the lump that fill up my chest, it so full and hurt me. "Saying goodbye."

"Cut that fucking shit." He spoke. "I just need to feel happy. And I can only feel it when I am with you."

"No, Jungkook. We can't keep running circling this phase. As you said, I will only be torturing you." and here, my tears start to flow again, mianhae Jungkook, I break our heart again. "We can't. I have fiancé, you should start to like someone too."

"I don't care, even if you said you are already married or pregnant from him, I will be sticking on you like this. Please let me. I'll be a good boy, I promise you." He then surprisingly come toward me and holding both of my hands, collapsing to the floor with me, as we cry soundly together. He hugged me tight when all of our emotion collides.

"Please stay, let me taste happiness for a while. Please, stay with me, barbie."

"Don't talk like a desperate man. Na sirreo." I hit him lightly still crying half laughing. "I hate a desperate man." And he chuckled but the tears keep flowing like a waterfall.

"No, you love me. And I know that." He said burying my face on his warm and hard tone chest. I miss him. I am craving for him. All of him. "Put the mask off when you are with me." He said again, but I only smiling hearing his heartbeat diligently. "Now what you should say barbie?" he asked me to cup my face to face him, titling my face up to see his smile I gave up. I'll give in.

He said he want to feel the happiness even if it means only for a while. Me too. I don't care if people think that it's greedy and dirty, Mino will understand this, I will keep marrying him. Now, I will end what have I started years ago. This all are more like one night stand, I will be doing what I wanted to do, before I settled down and hand cuffing my life with Mino, I will do whatever I've been holding to do. And then, I will erase it. All.

It's not a sin to feel something beautiful right? Cupping his face too, I then peck his lips while beaming the words I always want to tell him.

"Saranghae."