"Just like what I said." I startled and immediately opening my eyes as someone already sat beside my bed, looking at me with sadness in his eyes. "No milk from today." He declares then giving me one little bottle of medicine, he knows. But I insist. I just can't let Jin oppa be awkward after offering me milk. He brings it from the house, for us.

"What are you doing in here?" I ask half whined after taste the bitter liquid pouring my throat. But it did calm my cramp stomach, I always had this reaction every time I drink milk.

"What do you think I do?" he ask me back and then taking off his timberland, tidying pillow beside me, and then laying peacefully closing his eyes.

"Where is Soomi?" for one minute he went silent, taking his breath slowly, calmly as if he want me to think that he falls asleep already. "You shouldn't let her alone, she needs you."

"You need me more."

"I told you to not ever put me in the place where you should choose over something." My anger just raised as his answer got quick and short. I just wake up from my bed and go straight to the door, try to open it but it's locked for some reason. I saw him stay still on my bed, smirking but closing his eyes.

"I won't let you run away, barbie." He said more like a whisper. But I didn't move a step. I was too angry to even come and drag him.

"Where's the key, and go out from my place."

"Oh come on, we know you want me. And stop pretend to hate me and ask me to comeback to Soomi because she just a friend." He then stand up walking closer to me, pinning my body to the door, pressing his lower body to mine. Damn, Jeon Jungkook, you need to calm down your little one.

"So, please stop pressing whatever you had down there to me and go to your friend is." Watching at our bottom part body he then smirking even wider. I really want to slap him now.

"What? Can't resist it now?"

"Jeon Jungkook."

"Jeon Panpriya."

"I warn you." I am about to put my hand on his shoulder to push him before he move closer. I don't know what's happening because that was too fast. I was just frozen on my spot, wide eyes open, blinking rapidly, the next thing I know, he kissed me. The kiss I've been longing since 4 years, the kiss that gave me all I had been waiting for, a shiver down to my spine.

"Don't break my heart." He said while we broke the kiss for the air, still looking down to my face, targeting my reddened and swollen lips. I can't see his eyes anyway, I was too angry and too full of lust that I am too embarrassed if he knew the desire in me. "You live there."

Just how many years it had been? He grew so much, I can't even remember his eyes got even sharper, the mole under his kissable lips now more visible as his skin got paller, and...

"Your cheeks." Unaware I simply caressing his sharp jaw, his chubby cheeks just disappear, he got skinnier. Poor Jungkook.

"That's right barbie. I am sick." He whispered while showering me with butterfly kisses from cheeks down to my neck. "Save me." He added then pick me up in a sudden manner make me automatically resting my hand on his neck. Not so long we just landed, with him on top of me.

"All I can see is only darkness without you." as if I got drowned on his words I let him unbuttoning my blouse. "I am only a blind fool." Then I completely lost when his hot skin met the cold one of mine. It just like something is cracking, just like when you put the ice and hot water in one glass.

"Enlighten me." I look at him who's now taking off his only favorite color white shirt and throw it somewhere, still fixing his eyes on me. "Lead me." I can't control my hand when it went down there to his abs, was it even there when we did this before? "It's yours." He places my hand to rub on his abs completely make me in embarrassment. "All, is yours. No one deserve to have me but you."

"Mine." I tell him make him look so satisfied. Nodding eagerly then he took the hem of my short eyeing my expression as I bite my lips out of my nervousness. Will we just do it now? I mean, we just had fight minutes ago. How can we do it now?

"Yours." He said and then taken my pants fully along with him, all I can hear was our raging breath,raging adrenaline, hot breath, sweat, and his moan. The skin ship feels so right and good, but hard in the same time. I can see how his muscle flexing every time he moved up and down, biting his lips seducing the monster out of me, even for some reasons I went crazy watching over him, closing his eyes, his eyebrows met and I can tell how he make sure to control himself.

"Shhhh." Now I was the one who can't control over my lust when the pit of my stomach want to explode. Clenching my nail on his both hard arm I thought I made him misunderstand making him stop immediately his movement and look worriedly toward my face which is I hide under his neck.

"Barbie, did I hurt you?" he said out of breath, the sweat drop from his head as his beautiful eyes looking at me, what is that again? Love? Is it true that you love me Jungkook?

You kept saying that, but never proof it. I don't want it, that kind of love, I don't want it. I want you to stay by my side, no matter what happen. I want you to choose me over and over. I want you to never look away. But why did you keep saying you love me when your foot constantly running toward Soomi?

I shake my head but the tears just falling as the thought come. "Keep going." I tell him, raising my head and give him a passionate kiss, rather than sweet it tastes more like salt, with the mix of my tears.

"Don't cry, barbie. I'll make you happy." He said then giving me back the passionate kiss. "I love you."

"Me too."

--

I never know that my heart could pound this fast, the first time I feel like this was when I saw her from the first time among the crowd in Hongdae. I was singing with the hyungs, my adrenaline also feel so good when I was singing and dancing but the time I met that blonde hair girl, with big eyes and even wide smile plastered on her face make my world stop for a moment.

I've lost words and mind, and my breath, and my heart pound. I've fallen for her. Hard. And then when she call me Kookie, the cold temperature in me just replaced with warmth. It feels like the cold ice, got poured with hot coffee. And when she said she loves me that day, when she held my face, the first time my heart felt whole, the feeling of unwanted just replaced, I feel whole just by her feeling toward me. She is my strength.

But it got worse, the coffee that should just warm me, it burn me. She spilled the hope I always put on her on my freaking white shirt. She is the first one I ever wanted to settle down with, to walk with me in the altar, to vow for become together. I can't even think about it with Sewon, even not with Soomi. Only her, my only barbie. My panpriya.

And the fact she now, moaning while screaming my name underneath me make me realize, how I want it to happen. Her, with white dress, wearing tiara on her head, become my wife. I really wanted it. "Me too." She doesn't said that rightly, but I know what she means.

I know when she look at me with hateness, I know that she doesn't mean it. She won't hate me, she loves me equally like mine. "Next time don't close your eyes." I whisper to her make she smile shyly buried her face fully on my bare chest. "Next time look into my eyes while I fuck you."

She then smack my thigh with her bare foot under the blanket make me giggled, hug her tighter to make her steady and calm. And she did. We cuddled just like that for the rest of the night till the dawn, naked. I don't dare to sleep because I was too afraid that she will leave me again, I just could looking at her calm face as her breath fanning my face, it's so calm and heavenly beautiful.

"Good morning, wife. I love you."

I whisper once again at her when she opened her eyes, blinking rapidly not really awake but trying her best to smile at me. Unresponded, but I knew that she feel the same. I feel it, it was when she stroked my hair when she thought I was sleep, that I knew she really did. I never walk alone.

She bring herself into my hug, caressing my back just like she did 4 years ago, relaxing me. As she told me that she won't repeat that words again, yet she keep show me with her action. I am so proud to be loved this much. I will do my best to make you happy, my Panpriya, my barbie.

My homesick.

--

"Unnie why do you left the candle still on today?" she coughs as she heard Yeri ask her innocently, giving her napkin I try to hold my smirk.

"Don't disturb your sister." Warn Irene auntie as she wipes the mess Lisa made. They grew closer now if I think about it again. "She was sick when she came from picnic."

"Are you?" then grandpa ask curiously, he come out from his room as soon as Yeri infrom him that Soomi wasn't in here. I don't know where she stay last night, but I know that she is all right. I left her with the boys and there was Yoongi oppa right there. Lisa nodded as she look at me, make me smile at her. I am so into her and a bit nervous when my eyes catching dad's staring at us, the two of us, suspiciously.

"She drunk milk when she can't drink it anyway." I said chewing my sweet potato while looking at Yeri.

"Oh, just that's why you lock your room?" she doesn't give much reaction while trying to put her collar up where the hickey been placed.

"And I heard some noises, are you watching something scary last night?" on this point, I was the one who cough hard. Should I just kick this kid now?

--

"Jennie noona, where will Jin hyung take Lisa?" he ask as Jin oppa's car left. I know that he kept his eyes on Lisa, but I can't just ask him to bring Lisa home because Soomi was there. And the last thing I want to do in this world was, talking with her.

I don't know what exactly she did to us, to me. But I feel this constant feeling as soon as I met her, I hate her. And I know there was something off between us, that everyone hide from me. They keep starring at each other while doing something, rather than asking each other if that was safe for me or not. I wonder what had happened. I really want my memories back.

"Lisa feel not good, so I ask Jin oppa to take her home." I tell him while tidying the table between us.

"Why don't you ask me? She live with me." He then ask angrily as he rushing himself out from the picnic area, and someone is following him but my hand just moved so fast that I intentionally pushing the plate off of the table in front of her. For a moment she look at me, coldly, but I don't care. Who ask her to stick on Jungkook every where?

"Whats going on?" the next thing I know was my husband, Min Yoongi,  just standing worriedly between us, watching at the breaking plate on the ground. "Min Jisoo." He then raising his voice on her make me even startled. He always been soft, but now he seems angry. I was going to explain everything when Soomi bowing at him then saying sorry.

She was about to go again, totally wanted to run away to chase after Jungkook but I won't let it. "Stay."

It comes out more like shouting to the point everyone was looking at us. "Stay and help me in our house."

Lisa-yah, this sacrifices, only for you.