"So, are you going to explain?" Charlie asked, sounding more furious than Jessica had expected him to be. She had been preparing for this call for a while already but now that it had finally arrived, she felt nervous about what to say.

"I'm sorry, Charlie," she murmured, knowing a spoken apology wasn't going to appease him.

"I didn't say anything when you stopped taking your anxiety medication," he added.

"It didn't work as well anymore." It had helped in the beginning to hold her together and silence her raw emotions but as the weeks had passed, the pills had become less effective, so she had stopped taking them.

"I get it. But you never told me that you had stopped therapy as well. I had to find out from Dr. Reed."

"I'm sorry." She hoped her second apology would go better than the first one.

"That's not good enough. We agreed you needed therapy, and you promised."

She winced at the disappointment laced in his voice. He had discovered she had stopped going to the therapist he had organized for her after she had only gone to a handful of appointments. It was just a matter of time before he would have discovered it.

"I did promise, and I went, but I just don't think it's for me. I got so tired of talking and talking without any kind of breakthrough. It didn't make me feel any different." The sessions had done nothing to ease the guilt she felt for Dylan's death. She had found it impossible to talk about the night Dylan died, which was something she hadn't been able to reveal to Charlie.

"It takes time, Jess." He sighed. "These aren't issues that can be fixed overnight. Losing someone you love is traumatic, and feeling responsible led to a level of guilt that isn't easily dealt with. It'll destroy you if you don't deal with it."

She bit her lip as she kept silent on the other side of the call.

"Jess?" he prompted sternly.

"I'm here," she answered reluctantly.

"Look what happened the last time I didn't make sure you got the help you needed."

She didn't want to remember her meltdown when she had revealed the truth of the secret she had held from Karsyn and Myles.

"I'm fine, Charlie."

He sighed again. "If you don't take the time to work through your guilt, it'll always be there, eating away at you until there's nothing left."

She remained silent, trying to reason what he was saying with her own feelings.

"Are you happy, Jess?"

She found it difficult to answer his question. "I have a good job, I have my own place, and I'm working on things with Myles." She wasn't happy, but she was working toward it.

He scoffed. "Booty calls to him once every couple of weeks isn't what I would term 'working on things' with him."

She frowned. She regretted mentioning it to him now. "I'm trying my best to work on myself, so I don't lose myself in my next relationship."

There was silence.

"Did you ever think that maybe your whole drive for independence is an excuse?"

She frowned.

"You've always been independent, you've always held your own against the men in your life. You've never been a pushover, Jess."

She shook her head. "I never had a space of my own or a job that wasn't linked to the guy I was currently dating." It had happened with both him and Myles.

"You have a job that isn't linked in any way to Myles, and you have your own place. So, what's stopping you now, Jess?"

She frowned as she mulled over his words. "I'm scared I'll lose myself again."

He snorted. "God, I love you, but sometimes you need a good shake. It has nothing to do with losing yourself. You never did. You were strong enough to walk away from me when it didn't feel right any longer."

"But it took nearly two years to reach that point." She didn't view things the same way he seemed to.

"Did you ever think that maybe being with me was what you needed most at the time? I know you never loved me like Karsyn but maybe you needed someone who could care for you. I was the only one. Karsyn and Myles were reeling from Dylan's death and weren't able to see what was happening to you."

His words touched her, and she swallowed.

"I spent a lot of time thinking about what would have happened if I hadn't been there for you, Jess, and none of the outcomes were good. I know you look at the time we spent together with regret, but I don't because I'm convinced if I hadn't been there for you, we would have ended up burying you too."

His words hit her hard and she inhaled sharply as her eyes began to water. He had caught her before she had reached rock bottom, and who knows what would have happened if he hadn't. Talking about that time made her feel emotions that were difficult to face.

"The only thing I regret about our time together was hurting you," she murmured softly.

"I don't regret a single moment." His voice was sure and confident. "Any guilt you're holding on to for that you need to let go of."

She wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Don't worry, I'm a big boy, Jess, and I'll get over you."

There was deep silence.

"I don't know how to thank you for doing so much for me." Her voice was hoarse. He didn't know that he was far too good for her.

"Go back to therapy. I want to see you happy, Jess, and I don't believe that can happen until you deal with that night."

She wanted to do what he asked but she was scared to look too deep beneath the surface of what had happened, afraid it wouldn't ease her guilt.

"And this whole independence thing is your way of keeping yourself from being happy. As much as I question your choice, you deserve happiness, and Myles seems to be the one who can make that happen."

"You really believe I'm sabotaging myself?" she murmured.

"Yes. I think you're still trying to punish yourself for what went down with Dylan and you're not going to be able to fully allow yourself to embrace happiness with anyone if you don't put the hard work in now." He paused. "Do you think Myles is going to be happy with this casual arrangement indefinitely?"

She frowned. "I'm not sure."

"He'll tire of it and then what? He'll move on. Are you prepared for that?"

Was she being so selfish that she couldn't see the situation from anyone else's point of view?

She bit her nail as she listened to him. He had a valid point, and it made her wonder how right he was about the rest.

Like he said, she had a job and an apartment of her own. She was independent. If she was, what was stopping her from taking things further with Myles? Was it that she didn't feel she deserved it after letting Dylan down?

"Please, Jess. Go back, even if it's just for me. If you can't do it for yourself then at least do it for me."

She let out a heavy sigh. "Fine, I'll do it."

"You don't know how happy I am to hear that." She could hear the smile in his voice.

"I'll make an appointment as soon as I can." She felt reluctant but she had promised, so she would see it through no matter how she felt about it.

She hadn't gone back to relive the night Dylan had died, and the thought of doing so made her break out in a cold sweat. It was difficult to believe anything good could come from stepping back into the worst night of her life and remembering the pain, grief and loss that had taken a permanent hold on her.

"If you need anything let me know. Even if it's just an ear to listen to you or if you need to vent."

"Thanks, Charlie."

After the phone call she wrestled with every reason to delay the therapy, and with every reason to do what Charlie asked and to make the appointment.

The deciding factor was Myles. She didn't want to lose him, and seeing him with the girl the night before had scared her. He never had a shortage of girls around him and if she kept stringing him along, he would find someone else.

She reached for the phone to make the appointment with Dr. Reed.