"You did it again, didn't you?" The disapproval was clear in Hannah's voice. "You promised you were done with that, Jess."

Jessica's friend knew about the late-night visits with Myles and about her mornings filled with regret and confusion. The last time, she had promised it was going to be the last time.

"I..." Jessica clamped her mouth shut. There was no use denying it.

"Jessica." Her friend sighed over the phone.

Jessica bit her lip as she waited for Hannah to lecture her. Her stance was clear.

"You can't keep doing this. It's not fair to Myles or yourself."

Jessica frowned as she held the phone tighter.

"You were the one who wanted more and, when he wanted to give you what you wanted, you decided your independence was more important." She sighed. "Not that there's anything wrong with that," she added quickly. "But what you're doing is wrong and I just have a feeling it's going to end badly if you don't stop. If this was just some random guy you were hooking up with, you would have my blessing, but this is Myles. You're in love with him."

"I know...but I can't help myself," she murmured to her friend. She knew what she was doing wasn't fair to Myles.

"You have to make a choice, Jess."

"I don't want to lose him," Jessica murmured, feeling anxious that no matter what she did she would.

Her friend was silent for a little while.

"If you don't choose you could end up losing him anyway."

Jessica bit her lip gently as she contemplated Hannah's warning.

"If you had told me Myles was ready for a relationship, I wouldn't have believed you, but he is ready to be with you. You're the one holding back. What if he meets someone else?"

Someone else? It was something that hadn't occurred to her.

"You think that might happen?" Jessica whispered, feeling uncomfortable with the thought that there was a chance he could meet someone else. "I'm scared, Hannah." She let out a deep emotional breath, feeling the weight of the choice resting on her shoulders.

"What are you afraid of?" her friend asked gently.

"I'm afraid..." It was difficult to say it out loud, as if giving it words would make it more likely. "That I choose to be with him and we don't work out."

"I get it, but if you don't, you'll lose him anyway."

Why did things have to be so difficult? If he were able to tell her those three words, would she feel more confident in choosing to be with him? What if she tried and they failed anyway? She'd already experienced so much heartache, but she knew it wouldn't compare to the pain that losing Myles would cause her.

There was also the fear that she would throw away the independence she had built up over the past few months. Her feelings for Myles had a way of making her throw caution to the wind and she was fearful that if she allowed him in, she would wrap her world around him and lose herself.

"And I'm scared I'll lose what little independence I've built up."

"You won't." Her friend sounded so convinced it made her feel a little better that she had more confidence than she did in herself. "You've done so well, getting your own place and you have a steady job. You should be proud of yourself."

Silently, she listened to Hannah.

"You're right." Sometimes she had to depend on outsiders to remind her of what she had accomplished instead of being fixated on what she hadn't.

There was a pause.

"What if things work out, Jess? What if Myles can make you happier than you've ever been? What if he's the only guy for you?"

Remembering last night made her stomach flutter. When she was with him it felt so right, but it wasn't enough to stave off her insecurities and doubts that made her question everything.

"I don't know," she mumbled. To be able to gamble she had to accept that things might not work out and that she could lose him totally, and that wasn't something she believed she could handle. At least now she still had the stolen nights with him, and that was at least something.

"You know what you have to do, Jess, no one can make the decision for you."

"I know," she murmured, feeling the weight of it burden her.

There were several seconds of silence.

"Enough about me. How are you?" Jessica was tired of going in circles when it came to her issues.

"Same old. Nothing new." There was a touch of boredom in her voice.

"What about that guy you went on the date with last week?" she probed.

"Oh, please. That was a complete disaster. Why can't I meet someone normal?" Her friend sighed.

"What's your definition of 'normal'?" Jessica asked.

"You know...handsome, fit, good personality, interesting, good job- "

"That sounds like a list for a husband," she teased, smiling.

Hannah gave a hollow laugh. "It does, doesn't it?"

"No guy out there is perfect. Maybe just try to find one you're attracted to and take it from there."

It was quiet for a moment while her friend mulled over her words.

"It's difficult trying not to measure them up to the guy I've built up in my mind."

"I know, but it's only going to lead to disappointment. There's no perfect guy out there. We're all flawed. You believe Myles is perfect for me, don't you?"

"Yes."

"But he isn't perfect, he has his faults. He can be messy, and he hasn't ever been in a relationship, but I'm not running for the hills. If you expect me to take the chance of getting hurt, I want you to go out and just concentrate on having fun. Don't plan your whole life out, life doesn't work that way."

"When did you get so wise?" Hannah teased lightly.

"If I was, I wouldn't be so messed up. It's just easier for someone standing on the outside to see things more clearly than when you're in it."

"Remember that, Jess. I'm the one on the outside watching you and Myles."

And her point was made.

Even an hour after her conversation with her friend, she was still thinking about the point Hannah had made. Was she too consumed by what was going on and the doubts to realize what others could see more clearly?

She walked around her little apartment feeling a sense of pride that it was hers. From the scattered pictures that hung on the walls to the small tables she had bought a couple of weeks ago for the living room. It had taken time, but it was finally complete with everything she could need, and she had done it on her own.

And Hannah had been right. She was doing well with her waitressing job. Things that had scared her in the beginning had become second nature and effortless.

The only thing missing from her life was the day-to-day presence of guy she was head-over-heels in love with. A stolen night here and there wasn't the same as waking up with them in the morning or making dinner together or sharing their days with each other.

She wanted it but could she overcome the fear that no matter how badly she wanted things to work out with Myles, they might not. It was cowardly to stop herself from being with him for fear of failure.

There was no time like the present. She reached for her phone and, before she backed out, she dialed his number. It rang and rang. She began to lose her confidence with each unanswered ring. Then it switched to voicemail. She hung up.

Why couldn't she just do it? How long could they continue like they were before he decided he couldn't wait any longer?

She decided to call him at work. She needed to talk to him before she lost her nerve.

It rang a few times.

"Hello," a female voice answered the call.

Jessica was taken aback and found herself reeling.

"Hi, can I help you?" the woman asked.

"Can I...talk to Myles," Jessica finally managed to mumble to the girl.

Why was there a girl answering the phone at the garage? Had Myles replaced her?

There was nothing wrong with that, but that reasoning did nothing to stop her feeling out of sorts.

"I'm sorry. He's busy. Can I take a message?"

"Um...no, it's fine." She hung up, left feeling more indecisive.