What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.
– Pericles

***

Simon observed his boyfriend, while he had the chance. Their lives had been so crazy lately, it was hard to believe it. He never even had the time to properly digest the fact that he and Jace had been together for what felt like a small eternity, but in truth was merely a span of months. It was insane how quickly their lives had shifted from the ones they had in New York to these fugitive ones. 

The thought about his loved ones back home (could he still call it home?) came into his mind. His mother and sister, who must be worried sick about him. Magnus and Alec, two of his most trusted friends, who were one of the few people who knew what was really going on (sort of). Isabelle, who must've been going out of her mind, because of Clary. And Clary herself. Simon couldn't understand, how this could've happened. Clary wasn't a criminal, she wasn't a bad person. She had always been there for Simon, best friends and always tailing after each other, visiting frat party after frat party, inseparable when it came to making mischief and chaos. He wished he could talk to her, to understand what was going on inside her head. He refused to believe that she was willingly helping Valentine. He must've made her somehow. He thought about Jocelyn, then. Maybe Valentine had threatened her and Clary had to give in? But then why didn't she go to Luke?

Simon scooted closer to the sleeping blonde next to him. The sheet was tangled around the bruised body, letting Simon get a glimpse of his chiseled chest and a part of Jace's hip. A very faint but soft ray of sunlight made it's way through the window as Simon realized it was half past 5 and that he hadn't slept almost at all. However, his tired eyes refused to shut themselves, for he didn't want to miss this moment. He loved observing his angel. The soft glow of his blonde hair under the sunlight was almost like a halo. His chest fell and rose in a peaceful manner, the sound of his breaths calming Simon down, his frantic heart in a serene state. Jace had a small scar on his abdomen, and another on his thigh, that Simon could observe as he moved the sheet a little, revealing the naked skin.

He brushed gently over the scars along Jace's body, reaching his other thigh where the bandage hid his bullet wound. Simon's heart contracted at the thought of Jace getting hurt, again. He realized he couldn't live without him. He'd never expected to find someone like Jace, let alone fall for them. He was so different from Simon himself, but somehow the same as well. Jace's recklessness and haunted past clashed with his loyalty and protectiveness, making it a lethal combination  - he'd go to the end of the world, to keep the people he loves safe. Sometimes (more often than it'd be deemed healthy) Simon thought about how this might be the thing that gets Jace hurt or worse, killed. He couldn't ever live with the fact that he'd be the reason Jace's life ended. 

Now, here where they were, the possibility of it happening was higher than Simon would've liked. Even worse than Jace's need to keep Simon safe was Simon's own need to protect Jace. Simon moved his fingers along the skin, grazing it softly. He raised his eyes to Jace's face and noticed he was mumbling something, quietly. His brow furrowed and his face twitched slightly. Simon stood to attention. Then, Jace mumbled quietly. "No." was the only word Simon could hear out of the many incoherent words, but he recognized the pain in his voice. He moved closer to his boyfriend, knowing that this wasn't one of those nightmares where you'd scream and wake with a jolt. This was one of those nightmares, where Jace couldn't get out by himself.

Simon's hands wrapped around the blond, tangling into the sheets and finding his skin, feeling the warmth under his fingertips. He moved Jace, slowly, carefully, so that he had his back to Simon, and he could cradle him in his arms. Jace mumbled again, his eyes still closed tightly, lips curled downward in distress. Simon's hands moved on his body, stroking his side in a soothing manner and he set his chin in the crook of Jace's neck. "Shh, it's okay, baby. I'm here, I'm with you. Listen to me. Come back to me, angel." Simon spoke to him in a quiet and calm manner, in order not to startle him or pull him from his nightmare too quickly, maybe making matters worse. He needed Jace to come out of it himself, by listening to Simon's voice, however painful it was to watch Jace struggle with his subconscious.

Simon's heart beat loud in his chest as he held Jace tightly, whispering soothing words to his ear, trying to guide him back. It never lasted longer than a few minutes, but even so it must've been torture for the blonde. Sometimes, Jace would talk about the dreams, sometimes he wouldn't. The times he wouldn't, Simon could detect shame on his face, as if he was too embarrassed by what he'd seen - by what he'd done in the past. It didn't matter how many times Simon assured him, that he didn't care about the things Jace did in the past, that he just wanted the blonde to be able to talk to him. Sometimes, Jace would just close off and not touch the subject again. Other times he would talk - he could talk for hours and feel lighter for it and Simon was always happy to share the load, after everything Jace had done for him it was the least he could do.

Jace's body tensed in his arms. "Mom..." he breathed out and Simon stilled, not speaking a word. He'd never heard Jace mention his parents, but clearly he was dreaming about his mother. Simon thought they both died when Jace was very young, so there was little chance he'd remember them. At least, that's what the blonde had said to Simon, whenever he'd touch the subject. Jace's breathing became more labored and his hand grabbed Simon's suddenly, squeezing his fingers with force. Simon felt the pain, but he bit his lip and remained silent and still. When Jace's breathing slowly became more at ease, he pressed a kiss onto Jace's shoulder. "Simon?" came a small voice and it was so vulnerable and hurt, so hollow and full of anguish, Simon felt tears pricking his eyes. 

"Hey, angel." he said and pressed another kiss onto Jace's shoulder. He felt the vice-like grip give out on his fingers. Jace shuffled slightly and then he sighed. He turned around and Simon could see his beautiful eyes staring back at him. The blue seemed full of sorrow and reminded Simon of a gray autumns day, when the sky opened and poured down hell and flood, the storm identical to the one raging inside of Jace. The brown speck was unique, yes, but that wasn't what Simon loved about his eyes. Everyone else did, saying that it was the most attractive feature on the blonde. Simon loved it just as much, but it wasn't what made him stare into Jace's eyes for what felt like an eternity. It was that the blue conveyed so much emotion, so much history and secrets, a story that Jace was telling just with his eyes, when his voice wouldn't surface and his mouth would fail to form the words he was dying to say to Simon.

"I hurt your hand." Jace said quietly, trailing his fingers over Simon's and pulled it up to his mouth. He kissed every finger individually, taking time for the feather-like touches to soothe the pain. Simon smiled at that - even when he was haunted by his night terrors, Jace was more worried about the pain Simon was experiencing. "It's nothing, baby." Simon assured him, but Jace shook his head slightly, still holding Simon's hand onto his lips. "It's not nothing. What if one day, I-" Jace started, his voice slightly rising, but Simon pressed a finger onto his lips, silencing him. They were so close now, their nose were almost touching. "Don't go there, Jace. I told you, I'm always going to be here for you. I'm always going to help you, whether you want to share these things with me or not. You won't hurt me, have a little faith in yourself." Simon told him, voice gentle, trying not to sound scolding.

Jace's face came closer, nuzzling into the crook of Simon's neck and his hands wrapped around his boyfriend. The brunette hummed approvingly. "You have faith enough for the both of us." Jace mumbled and Simon tried to ignore the tightness in his throat. There were a few seconds of silence and then Jace pulled back, looking into his eyes again. "Did I say anything?" he asked and Simon bit his lip, not sure if he should speak of this. In the end he decided, that it didn't matter if he'd say it, because Jace could always choose to not speak of it. Simon's hand went to Jace's face, brushing away the golden strands of hair. They were still so soft, like cotton. "You just said 'No' and 'Mom'." Simon replied carefully, like he was stepping around broken glass. In a way, he was. No one could deny that Jace was broken, but Simon didn't care about that. To him, it's what made Jace real to him. He could see all the good parts but also the bad parts, and help Jace accept them all.

Jace hummed, his hand going to Simon's hip, the pressure very light as his fingers curled around him. "You probably want to ask me about that." the blonde breathed out, eyes still on Simon's. They were unreadable now, and Simon couldn't tell if the tone of his voice was bitter or something entirely different. So, he just kissed his forehead, and smiled a little. "No. If you want to talk about it, I'm here. But if you don't... well, I'll still be here. You don't have to feel pressured to say anything. Nothing you say, or don't say, would make me love you less. In fact, my love for you can only grow." Simon told him, picking his words out carefully from the scramble inside his mind. It was hard, sometimes, to find the right words, to make sure that Jace really got it - Simon was here to stay and nothing would ever change that.

Jace's eyes softened a little and he seemed thoughtful now. "Well, I saw her. In my dream. I know I said they, my parents, died when I was young, but I wasn't as young as you would think. I actually remember them a little. My mom and dad both had blond hair, so it was kind of inevitable that I would inherit them, too. But Imogen told me that my eyes are almost as my fathers, except for the brown speck, and that he had a slightly darker shade of blue. She actually said that I look very much like him. That I resemble more to him than to my mother." Jace spoke with the softest of tone and Simon was silent, not wanting to discourage the blonde in any way. He just kept stroking his hair. Seriously, how were they this soft!?

"I remember one day we went to the zoo, and they bought me ice cream. It was strawberry. We went to see the elephants and I couldn't see above the big fence and my dad took me up on his shoulders and my mom would start tickling me and I almost fell off, laughing. It's one of the few memories I have. I never told anyone that I remember them because I just felt this pain, every time that I saw them. The flashing memories, the dreams. I've got my grandma and I love her, but it's just-" Jace's voice was slightly trembling now and Simon moved a bit closer to him, feeling his body emitting warmth against Jace's. "-I just wanted a family. And I could never have that. In the long run, it didn't matter, because I have Imogen and now I have you, and your friends, who I like to think of as family now, too. And it's perfect. More than I could dream of. It just still hurts, sometimes. Like there is something missing." Jace said and then he fell silent. 

Simon set his hand over his chest, feeling Jace's heartbeats. They were slow and steady. His eyes were full of sorrow. His tone - it was like he was lost somewhere, like he wasn't really there, with Simon. Somewhere along the road, Jace had lost a huge part of his being, and Simon knew he could never replace Jace's parents - that's just not possible, and he shouldn't want that. What Simon did want, was to at least try and make it a little less painful, day by day. "It's okay to feel that way, Jace. Your parents are the first people you love in your life. And they loved you, I know that. And I'm not going to say that I can make it all better and that you'll never miss them again - I hope you do. Because that shows how much you loved them and it's a wonderful thing - to be able to love like that. I just want, no, need you to know, that I am here for you. I want to help you feel whole, even though it might seem impossible right now. One day, you're going to see that there are so many people in this world that love you and I want to be there when it happens. You deserve the world, Jace." Simon said, his voice but a whisper.

He moved forward, touching their noses together gently. Jace's eyes glistened when he exhaled a quivering breath. "You are my world, Simon." Jace said. Simon felt his chest grow with an impossible feeling. It wasn't butterflies of excitement. It was like the first time you learn something new. It's strange and foreign, but at the same time, you want so much more, so you keep chasing it, until you have mastered it. Simon wanted to learn everything there was about Jace, to map him out, to know him like he knew how to breathe. If there was a way to love someone so much it hurt, Simon would gladly deal with the pain, he would welcome it. He didn't care how it sounded. All he cared about was Jace, wrapped in his arms, the blonde's lips approaching his in a slightly hesitant manner, almost like he was still waiting for permission to kiss his boyfriend, but Simon could understand. It was an intimate moment, one that they had never had. They had said 'I love you' a thousand times now, but they had never said it in an environment where everything was out in the open, both men like white pages of an unwritten book, ready to let the other write their affection into their hearts.

"I love you." Simon said, and it was like it wasn't enough, and at the same time, it was. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss on Jace's lips. Jace melted into his touch, body curling around his, still holding each other gently, but firmly, like they were afraid either one might slip away. If Simon wouldn't have felt Jace's heartbeat under his fingertips, Jace's breaths on his skin between soft kisses, heard the declaration of love that fell from his lips, or the warmth of his skin burning against Simon's, he would've thought it was a dream. But Simon knew that Jace was the most real thing in this world. 

***

The wind was ripping through their clothes as they approached the place where the warehouses were supposed to be located. The sun was high in the sky, but the breeze was much colder than it had been a few days ago. Daisy had said something about a storm coming. Simon pulled his black coat closer to himself, eyeing the leather jacket Jace had on. The blonde caught his gaze, and it must've been scolding, because he raised an eyebrow.

"What?" he asked and Simon scoffed. "You're going to catch a cold, on top of everything else." Simon crumbled, moving along the lines of abandoned lockers, or at least they looked abandoned. The locks were all rusty, the containers' blue and red paint dusty, faded and peeling off in places. Jace's golden strands flew in the wind as he fell into step next to Simon. "Why do I feel like you're scolding me?" he asked, with a tinge of amusement in his voice. Simon side-eyed him, very annoyed. "Because I am. You can't go running around like it's 80 degrees outside, just because you like leather." he said with an agitated tone. Jace laughed, making Simon lose some of his annoyance, to his dismay. "But you like seeing me in leather." the blonde offered, earning a glare from his boyfriend. "That," Simon said "is not information you should be distributing so publicly." He glanced at Adam, and to his amusement, the mans cheeks were tainted red. Was it from the cold, embarrassment or anger, Simon couldn't tell.

Jace winked at his boyfriend, a mischievous grin on his face. Simon chuckled lightly, losing his annoyance at the blonde completely. Adam coughed. "This is it." he said, motioning to one of the containers. Simon could see he was slightly uncomfortable in their midst. Simon eyed Carter, who was smoking and didn't seemed at all interested in their conversation. Simon wanted to laugh at their situation - they made a very weird group of people. Jace moved forward, gun pointing to the ground and Simon tried not to stare, remembering that he too had to take out his gun. Damn Jace and his good-looks and being hot all the time and looking incredibly sexy while pointing a gun-

"The area should be secure. The lock is broken, though, so my guess is someone has already been here." Carter announced, coming out from the back of the container. Jace tucked his gun back and nodded towards Simon, who came closer. Jace put his hands on the lock and Simon held his gun up, in case there was someone still in there. With a yank and a rattling sound, Jace opened he double doors, making them creak. Simon tried to detect any movement in the container, but there was no one. Carter whistled. "Looks like someone was definitely looking for something." he said, eyeing the mess in front of them.

 On the floor there were various papers and what seemed to be photos. A lot of weapons caught Simon's eye and other trinkets. There was a small desk with a chair, lying sideways on the ground as they entered, examining the contents. "I wonder what they were looking for. And if they got it." Simon expressed his thoughts out loud, putting away the gun now that there was no danger. He crouched down, a photo catching his eye. It was an old, black-and white photo of a young woman, the locks flowing long on her back. Even though she was young, about 18, Simon recognized Jocelyn immediately. Her face was more thin, her eyes happy as she smiled, a hand was thrown over her shoulders. The dress she was wearing reached her knees and Simon concluded by the scenery (it seemed like a park) that it had been summer. The man, who the arm belonged to, was short-haired, his facial features tough but he too was wearing a smile. The eyes, though, seemed cold and distant to Simon. 

"Hey, look at this." Simon said then, to Jace, who scrambled closer over the pile of papers. "What?" he asked, leaning over to get a look. "Valentine and Jocelyn?" Jace asked, eyeing the picture as Simon nodded. "1989." Jace mumbled, his fingers going over the left corner of the photo, where a year was engraved. "This looks like Hyde Park." the blonde murmured, taking the picture into his own hands to get a closer look. "What? How do you know that?" Simon asked, incredulous as to how Jace would get that from such a vague setting, especially because the park was located in England. "There's a building behind them, see? It's the Rangers Lodge. I remember it well, because Imogen and I used to visit Hyde park all the time when she had business back there. It was one of my favorite parks. And she had a friend, who was working in the park and we used to have lunch inside that Lodge." Jace said, examining the photo.

Simon observed his facial features, that had softened as he was reminiscing about the memory. "Oh, that's nice." he said, snaking an arm around Jace. The blonde nodded, smiling, but then it was quickly turning into a frown. "I wonder what they were doing in London." Jace mused and Simon shrugged. "Beats me, travelling? Before Valentine turned all psycho killer criminal?" he suggested, looking around the container once more. He noticed pinned articles on the walls and spotted many that featured Valentine. He reached for one, ripping it down. It was an article about him being captured and sent to prison in France. When Simon looked around, all of the articles were about him. Valentine being arrested, sent to prison, about his plans and his crimes. He whistled. "If this was Jocelyn's warehouse..." he trailed and Jace hummed. "Then why would she have all this stuff? It looks like someone had a very serious stalking issue..." the blonde murmured, eyeing the wall too, photo still in hand.

"It's like someone was doing research on him." Carter said, taking down one of the articles. "Or-" Jace said, now hesitant. Simon eyed him, confused. "Or?" he asked and the blonde gave him an apologetic expression. "Or someone was trying to figure out how to bust him out." Jace said, moving documents and papers on the desk below the wall, uncovering a blueprint. "That's the French prison Valentine was kept in." Adam said, excitement in his voice. Simon eyed the document. It read 'La Santé Prison, Montparnasse, district 14' on the right top corner in cursive, white letters. "Huh." he said, not really sure what to think of all this. "Why would Jocelyn have all this?" Jace asked and Simon looked around. "Maybe she didn't? I mean, it was a long time ago, since anyone had used this place, right? At least, there's no record of it. Sure, someone could've sneaked in, but it wasn't her. I mean, I practically lived with Clary all my life and I visited them all the time. If Jocelyn would've made frequent trips here, I think I would've noticed." Simon said, but that didn't seem to convince nor Adam or Carter.

"There's a lot you don't know about that family, it would seem." Carter said mercilessly. Simon felt anger rise in him and he clenched his fist. "I know enough to know that neither Jocelyn or Clary Fairchild are murderers or criminals." Simon protected them, teeth clenched. He felt Jace's arm on his lower back but he ignored it, staring at Carter, eyes alight with annoyance and anger. Carter just scoffed. "We have to talk to the mother. This place is on her name, if anyone knows about this container, it's her. We need to make sure she is not involved in any of this. Ramirez, I want you to take a few men and pay her a visit-" Carter stopped talking when Simon took a few steps forward, his arm slipping from Jace's grasp.

"Simon." he warned but the brunette didn't let his eyes wander from the older agent. "You are not taking her anywhere. If anyone should talk to her, it's me. She trusts me." Simon almost growled. Carter looked unamused as Jace and Adam watched, almost as if this was a stand-off. "You don't know the first thing about being an agent. There are protocols-" he started but Simon shook his head, laughing joylessly. "Protocols? As far as I know, you do nothing but burst in through the doors with guns raised, expecting any civilian to be a threat. I'm going, and that's that." he said and Carter took a step closer, their bodies almost touching now. Jace came up to them, hands flying between them. "Carter, you know his right. You do this and Jocelyn might get to know about everything, everything she shouldn't know about. You know as much  as I that this should be done delicately. Let Simon do this. You can put a tracker on us and everything." the blonde insisted, a hand on his boyfriends chest.

Carter seemed to be thinking and Simon was sure it was this - whether to let Simon do this and hurt his own ego, or not, and risk exposing the whole operation. It would seem his ego had a lot of weigh-in, but eventually, Adam intervened. "Hey, boss? He's right. I think we should let them do this. We can't risk anyone else finding out. If she's a threat, we'll send the men in, but until then, this should be done very smoothly and quietly." the other agent said slowly, turning towards Carter. The older agents seemed to not like the words, but eventually he relaxed a bit. "Fine, you go talk to the Morgenstern bitch, but I swear, you do one wrong move..." Carter snarled and Simon tensed even more, giving him a cold glance. He felt anger bubbling inside of him, staring blatantly at Carter. "I see your nose has recovered. I could fix that for you, again, if you want?" Simon sneered and he heard Jace chuckle lowly, quickly stopping when Carter side-eyed him. He felt satisfaction at that.

The older agent snapped something and turned, stalking off and out. Adam took his place. "You can't go, Herondale. Jocelyn thinks you're gone, out of the picture, and you can't just go in there, all 'hey, I'm not a fugitive and not in prison'." he said and Simon stared at them both. He had to admit, Adam was right. No one else knew about Jace, hell, they didn't even know if he was alive, besides Alec, Magnus and Isabelle. "He's right, Jace. It's too risky, she could tell Luke." Simon told his boyfriend. Jace seemed hurt and annoyed. "What? I'm not letting you go alone." he insisted, but Adam smiled. "I'll be going with him. I can make sure nothing bad happens." he said and Simon eyed him suspiciously. "You're an agent. How is that 'smooth and quiet'? You'd need to be undercover. And Jocelyn knows all my friends." he said, thinking. Jace seemed even more annoyed. "I could act as your new boyfriend who you picked up on your 'time out' trip?" Adam suggested easily and Simon could swear there was a smug look in his eyes as he observed Jace's reaction.

The blonde's head rose, looking the other in the eye. Adam was taller than him, but with the look Jace gave him, Simon had no doubt he could kill the man with his bare hands. "Not happening." he growled and Adam threw his hands up. "Hey, if you've got a better idea, I'm all ears. Or do you want him to go alone?" he asked and Simon had to admit, the agent had a point. "Someone else can go." Jace said, determined. Simon turned to Jace, ignoring Adam. "I think we should do it. I mean, it's not like I have to pretend to like him. Well, sort of. But look, we need this information from Jocelyn and there's no other way to get it. You with me here?" Simon asked and saw Jace tense. "I. Don't. Like. It." he repeated punctually and Simon smiled. "You're so cute when you're jealous." he said, leaning to kiss him. Jace growled against his lips, hands going to grip Simon's. The brunette stilled and Jace stared at him with a glint in his eyes. "If he so much as touches you-" he started but Simon ignored him, moving in to kiss him again.

This time, he went all in. His tongue slid into Jace's mouth with ease, backing him up a little so the blonde was trapped between the desk and Simon's own body, Jace's hands still gripping Simon's arms. Simon's hands went under Jace's shirt, touching the skin and the blonde kissed him back eagerly, almost like he was hungry for Simon's touches. The brunette heard a cough and almost laughed, when he pulled back, glancing at Adam. He beamed at the man. "Well, if we're gonna do it, might as well get started with preparations. Don't we have to get permission from the boss-lady, though?" Simon asked cheerily, as Jace struggled to catch his breath. Adam's cheeks went red as he stared at the ceiling of the container. "Uhm, yeah. So we should head back. Agents will be by to seclude the area here anyways and bring whatever is in here back to the headquarters." the agent spoke and Simon wanted to laugh at how uncomfortable he seemed.

"Alright, let's do this." Simon clapped his hands and Adam turned, going in the footsteps of Carter. Simon turned and offered Jace his hand, with a smile on his face. Jace seemed slightly perplexed but took his hand. "You're an idiot, Simon." he said and the brunette laughed. He tugged Jace closer, pecking his lips shortly and Jace smiled. "I'm your idiot, let's not forget. Come on, let's make sure Carter wasn't insulted by my insinuation that I could kick his ass." he said.

Jace's laughter rang in his head as they stepped back into the sunlight, a breeze from the sea tickling their skin.

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A/N: Hey, my fellow Yees and Haws!!! So, this chapter was pretty mysterious, don't you think? I mean, I am making this more complicated by the minute *evil laugh*, so yeah, maybe that's why it took me so long to write this chapter and get it right. Also, I love jealous Jace. Idk why, I just do. And badass Simon, I love me a badass Simon. Alright, see you next Thursday (unless I have the writers block *shudders* again, in that case, see you when I see you)!!!