A/N: Just a fair warning, that this chapter shall contain some smut. xx *snickers bc knows that you people love the smut*

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              Day by day, what you choose, what you think and what you do, is who you become. 
 - Heraclitus

It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. 
 - Epictetus

***

"Angel, wake up. We're here." Simon said softly as he shook Jace's shoulder gently. The blonde opened his eyes and they gleamed under the lamppost. Simon smiled at him, turning off the engine and getting the bag from the backseat. Jace stretched and yawned, letting his eyes go around the place. They were in a motel parking lot, that seemed very abandoned. It also looked very bleak, but nothing Jace hadn't experienced before. He felt another pang of guilt, sad that he couldn't offer better for Simon - they just couldn't risk it, so they had to lay low in places like this.

As Jace got out, he felt a little pain in his leg, but shrugged it off. He moved to take the other bag from the backseat and Simon came over, leading the way to the building. It was made of red brick and looked exactly like the one's from the horror movies, where lights start to flicker and knocks are heard on the door in the middle of the night. Simon went towards the main door, indicating for Jace to wait outside for him and the blonde did, leaning on a concrete post supporting the building. When Simon got in, he saw the scruff looking man behind the registration desk, if you could call it that. The wooden furniture looked like it hadn't been dusted for months and he even saw a little mold on the far end of it, close to the hard-wood floor, that creaked when Simon stepped up to the administrator. "Hey, I had a room here. Henderson." Simon said, trying to look like a 'Mr. Henderson', although he had no idea how to do that. 

The fake name was just a precaution, and to his luck the man seemed not to care who he was, he just took a key from the behind him, where there was a cabinet with broken glass doors. His eyes seemed bloodshot and he was pretty burly, the black curly hair reached his shoulders and Simon almost shivered, seeing the state they were in. He also smelled the sweat and mold. "Credit card?" he mumbled, voice sounding terribly annoyed and Simon shook his head. "Cash." he replied and quickly handed the sum over. He wanted this over as much as this man, apparently. When he was done, he quickly came out of the 'lobby' and saw Jace having a smoke against the pillar. He set his bag down next to him and took out his pack, lighting one as well. Exhaling, he peered at the blonde. Under the moonlight, his angelic features shone through even more, the soft silver tone adding to his golden hair, making his blue eyes seem silvery instead of the golden shade that appeared under the sunlight. 

When Jace moved his hand, Simon saw the muscles flex underneath and tilted his head to the side, examining the man. "It's rude to stare." Jace reminded him, a smirk playing on his lips. "It's hard not to, looking like that. Besides, I can stare at my boyfriend as much as I please." Simon replied, smirking as well when he took another drag. "We should really quit." Jace then commented, eyeing his cigarette. Simon nodded, exhaling the smoke and watched it dissipate before him. "We should." he agreed, giving Jace an amused glance, who chuckled slightly. When he put out his smoke under his shoe, he leaned to take the bag and Simon saw him wince slightly. He tossed away his almost finished cigarette and grabbed the bag from Jace, ignoring the protests. "Come on, let's hope the room is better than the administration." Simon told him, swiftly moving ahead so Jace couldn't grab the bag. He heard the blonde crumble something like 'stupid boyfriend, never lets me do stuff' and suppressed a snicker.

They climbed a set of stairs, after passing a few white painted doors and Simon stood before another white door, the paint slightly peeling off. He put the key into the lock, turning it and opened the door. It wasn't half as bad as he had expected. At least the smell wasn't as bad - there was the faint odor of mold mixed with humidity, but the room looked okay enough. He turned on the light, which flickered for a moment before it stayed on, and glanced around, setting the bags on the beige carpeted floor. There were two twinbeds situated against the wall to the left, that actually looked a lot more comfortable than Simon had anticipated. There was a desk and a chair on the opposite wall and the smallest TV Simon had ever seen mounted above the desk. Right next to the door was a small window, a little grimy, and the curtains looked like if he'd move them, they'd suffocate in the dust. Just opposite to the front door, on the other side of the room, was another door, which was open and lead to the bathroom. Simon stepped inside, strolling towards the bathroom. The tiles looked unwashed, but the showerhead looked like it was okay to use, a little rusty but clean. The sink was a nightmare though. The white was more yellow and the silent sound of water trickling was sure to set him off at night. 

Sighing, he moved back to the room, where Jace was seated on a bed and he let his hands go over it. "It's actually very comfy. But I'm definitely not okay with us sleeping on separate beds." Jace said, his face disappointed. Simon laughed. "We have been sleeping in my car for like more than a week. You should be over the moon that we have a bed to sleep in at all." he chastised but Jace just shrugged. Simon went towards him and situated himself between Jace's legs, who put his hands on Simon's hips, looking up at him. Jace's eyes were a bit darker in the faint light of the only lamp in the room, but Simon could still see the little twinkle in his eyes. He knew what it meant. He just leaned down, giving Jace a quick kiss on the lips and Jace groaned. "That's it?" he asked, clearly annoyed and Simon gave another snort. "Yep." he replied and Jace scoffed. He grabbed Simon's ass unexpectedly and the brunette gave a small gasp. Jace smirked when he looked up at Simon, his face too close to the other boys crotch. "Tease." he said and Simon rolled his eyes, setting his hands on Jace's shoulders. "I have to get food, so you can take your painkillers. And don't give me that look, I saw you were in pain earlier." he said, giving Jace a glare and the blonde ducked his head. 

"I'm fine, Simon. I can just take them now. It's in the middle of the night, I don't want you going out alone." Jace said, wrapping his arms around Simon's lower body and Simon let his hands go through Jace's hair. "First of all, no, those are way too strong to take on an empty stomach. Secondly, it's just past 11. I saw a gas station not far from here, a 5 minute drive. I didn't want to wake you up before, so I didn't pull in, but now I can go and in the mean time, you can shower. You have a phone, you can call me if you need anything, okay?" he said, leaning down, so he was now kneeling in front of Jace and kissed his forehead. "I'll be right back. What do you want to eat?" he asked and the blonde smiled. "I want a hot dog." he replied, making Simon laugh. "Alright, anything else?" he asked and Jace shrugged. "You know, the usual, breakfast. Oh, get me a coke, please." he said and Simon kissed the corner of his boyfriend's mouth. "Sure thing, darling." he said, making Jace smile.

He let Jace lock the door, but not before he had been assaulted by Jace's lips, leaving him in a breathless state as he walked to the car. Turning the engine on, he realized it was chilly outside. Zipping up his jacket, he made the short trip to the gas station. He picked up some fruit and other things that would be good and quick to eat in the morning and then proceeded to pay, as well as ordering two hot dogs. He almost forgot about the coke, so he quickly went back to get it and when he neared the register again, he eyed the cigarettes behind the small girl, who was giving him a bored look, whilst chewing gum rather loudly. He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I'm so weak." he complained to himself quietly, asking for two packs of cigarettes, because he knew Jace was out, too. Luckily, they didn't smoke all that much anymore. Usually, when they were stressed, they would do it more often, but he figured now that they had been putting distance between themselves and New York, they might get to breathe a bit more and stop the nervous habit altogether. 

The ride back was just as short and Simon picked up the things, approaching the door. He knocked, before he softly said "It's me." He heard the lock and then Jace opened the door with a wide smile. Jace's hair looked a little damp and he was wearing his sweats and a T-shirt. Simon smiled back, but instead of getting a kiss, which he hoped for, Jace grabbed the hot dog from his hand and sat back down to his bed. Simon rolled his eyes, closing the door. "Really? What a nice way of greeting your boyfriend." he complained, earning a shrug from Jace. "You were gone 10 minutes. Besides, I'm hungry and I want to take the painkillers." came the answer and Simon stopped taking the things out and putting them in the small fridge under the table. He turned to give Jace a worried look. 

"Is it that bad?" he asked and Jace's eyes immediately showed regret. "No, I just, um, you know, Catarina said I should, so..." Jace rambled but Simon shook his head. "Jace, don't lie to me. You know better than that." he said and the blonde sighed, throwing away the wrapper, which landed in the bin perfectly and he laid down, staring at the ceiling. "Okay, fine. It hurts like a bitch, but that's what those painkillers are for, right?" he said and Simon went to Jace's bag, taking out the pills. He took out two, since Catarina had said that Jace should take it two times a day, but since Jace had been sleeping in the car, he figured he'd be okay with two. He also knew Jace always downplayed the pain he was feeling. Before he handed them over, he read the prescription in the box, so he wouldn't accidentally drug his boyfriend. 

Once he was sure that two at a time was okay, he took a waterbottle from the bag and handed the pills and the bottle to Jace, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him. The blonde took them gratefully, sitting up and popped the pills in his mouth. After draining half the water bottle, Simon announced he was going to have a shower. Jace unpacked the rest of the bag while Simon washed away days worth of grime. He hated being on the road for so long without a bed and a shower, but he didn't really care. All he cared about was Jace, and if that's what it took to keep him safe, that's what Simon was going to do. He wrapped the towel around him and proceeded to go to the bedroom and stopped, smirking at Jace, who now lay smack in the middle of both beds, that he had pushed together. "Very clever." he stated, giving his boyfriend and amused glance. Jace beamed at him. "I know, I'm pretty pleased with myself." he replied and Simon laughed, reaching for his bag. "I can tell." he told Jace, while taking out his boxers. Jace eyed him and Simon could feel it, but he still dropped the towel and proceeded to put on his underwear.

When he was done, Jace was giving him a skeptical look. "There was really no point in putting those on." he said and before Simon could retort with a witty comment, Jace was up on his knees on the bed and kissing him, while Simon was still standing next to the beds. Jace's lips felt strong and needy against his and Simon could feel his body react quickly. He tried to move, but Jace's arms found their way around Simon, pulling him down on the bed. Simon took care not to fall onto Jace and he briefly pulled away, leaving Jace with a pout. "Babe, your leg is still healing." Simon explained, but Jace eyed him. His blue orbs stared at him with love and lust, both and Simon almost regretted saying anything. Luckily for him, his boyfriend was relentless. "Simon." Jace said, setting his hands on his shoulders to lay him on his back, as he kissed his temple. "Babe." he said again, kissing Simon's neck next, making goosebumps appear on the brunettes skin. "Love." Jace whispered, when he kissed Simon's stomach, making the brunette let out a shaking breath. 

Jace stopped and looked up at Simon, his eyes clouded with desire. "Relax. I'm fine, stop worrying so much and let me make you feel good." the blonde said and that's all it took for Simon to comply. Jace promised he wouldn't lie to Simon anymore, so he just had to take his word for now. It didn't help that Jace was grazing his teeth over Simon's now painfully hard dick. His breath got caught when Jace moved to take off his boxers, but before he could do anything else, Simon stopped him. "Take off you clothes." he said and Jace gave him a smirk. "So bossy. Whatever you want, babe." Jace replied and did as Simon asked him to. Simon could stare at Jace's naked body all day. Even though there were scars, just like there were on Simon's skin, he looked absolutely divine. He could never get tired of seeing such beauty, not to mention that Jace's abs and muscles seemed to always be present, even if he didn't have time to work out. Jace went down to his legs, kissing his inner thighs and Simon felt himself surrender to Jace's touches.

They hadn't done this in a while and he had been starting to miss this. With a body like Jace's and with the way he knew how to use it, it was impossible not to. Jace's feathery kisses made his skin tingle and his dick twitched in excitement, when Jace got closer to it. Simon let out a strangled noise when Jace licked the tip. "Mmm, someone missed me." Jace murmured and Simon let his head fall back, when Jace took him into his mouth. Without warning, Jace slid all of him into his mouth, letting Simon's dick hit the back of Jace's throat and the brunette moaned, and not quietly. Man, they really hadn't done this in a long time. Jace hummed around his dick and moved his tongue around, all while bobbing his head up and down, and Simon felt himself close already. That's no good. "Jace, fuck, wait..." he said, but Jace didn't listen, he just kept going and after a few minutes, Simon just couldn't stop himself from cumming. He cussed loudly when he did and then he felt Jace scramble next to him, licking his lips. "Babe, I told you to stop." Simon said, a little weakly. Jace only smiled. "Why? Are you doubting my skills to get you going again?" he wiggled his eyebrows and Simon laughed. He rolled over so he was straddling Jace. "With the sounds you make? No, I'm not." he said and Jace's eyes widened at that. 

Simon leaned down to kiss his boyfriend and he tasted the saltiness on his tongue. Fuck, that's hot. He bit down on Jace's soft lip, making the blonde moan into his mouth and Simon felt Jace's erection against his thigh, making his own dick slowly come to life again. He pulled away, moving down to nip at the sensitive skin on Jace's collarbone, making the blonde arch his back. Simon smiled against Jace's skin, letting his hand roam around his body, from his shoulder to his stomach to his hip, finally making its way to Jace's ass, squeezing it. When Simon kissed Jace's neck and let his fingers graze over Jace's hole, the blonde let out a strangled moan. "Simon, come on, stop teasing me." Jace pleaded him and Simon relished the sound. He felt the blonde shiver under him, when he leaned over his head, taking the lube from his bag. Jace's eyes were on him, when Simon coated his fingers and let one slide into Jace.

The blonde's eyes fell shut and his lips parted as he sighed, and Simon moved his finger slowly. When he entered another, Jace writhed under him, pushing himself upwards, making their dicks rub together, which only enhanced the pleasure. "Simon, please, just- I need you." Jace said, his eyes opening to stare at Simon's and the brunette saw his blown pupils. He bent down to kiss Jace while he coated himself in lube. When he pulled back, Jace wanted to move, but Simon pushed him back down. "Baby, lie down. I'm not letting you move with that wound of yours." Simon said gently, kissing Jace's cheek and the blonde gave him a soft smile. Jace pulled Simon close to him, kissing him again, while Simon slid in with ease. He loved how Jace was always so ready for him, even after it had been a while. They fit together so fucking perfectly.

Jace let out a very sinful moan and Simon bit his own lip, trying not to come for the second time just from hearing his boyfriends sexy noises. He started slow, but even if he wanted to, he couldn't keep it up, because Jace was all too eager to let Simon fuck him senseless. The room was filled with the sound of skin hitting skin, Simon's own moans and Jace's groans, whimpers and his pleading words. He screamed Simon's name when he came and Simon let go, feeling his orgasm ripping through him as he leaned down, kissing his boyfriend sloppily. When he laid down next to Jace, the blonde winced slightly. "You okay?" Simon immediately asked, his hand going to Jace's thigh. The blonde chuckled. "It's not the leg, babe." Jace said, smirking and Simon felt himself blush for whatever reason. God, he was such a girl. "Oh." was all he said and Jace raised and eyebrow at him, smiling. Simon put a hand over his face and Jace laughed. He moved to clean himself, but Simon took away the tissues and did it himself, letting Jace fall back and stare at him. When Simon was done, Jace pulled him up, kissing his forehead and letting Simon's head lay on his chest. They were silent for a while and then Simon looked up at Jace, who seemed to be lost in thoughts, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Angel, what's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" Simon asked, his voice calm and content. Jace smiled, snapping his eyes at Simon. Jace's arms tightened around him and Simon could feel the warmth course through him. "Just that I am so lucky to have you. I don't know what I'd do without you, Simon. I love you, so fucking much." Jace said, his voice suddenly emotional and Simon moved to lean on his elbow, while looking down at his boyfriend. Jace's jawline was fixed and he saw his breathing quicken, all signs of holding back tears. He smiled, leaning in and kissing Jace, slow and steady, like it was everything. "I love you, too. And you'll never have to be without me again, I promise." Simon told him, after pulling back. Jace closed his eyes and a smile played on his lips. "And you always keep your promises." Jace said softly, making Simon chuckle. "Yes, angel, to you I always do." he said, setting his head back onto Jace's chest.

***

Simon immediately bolted upright, when he heard Jace's shout in the room and when he opened his eyes, he saw the blonde tossing on the beds, eyes closed and expression pained. He looked terrified. Simon pulled Jace up, right into his arms and felt the tensed muscles against his skin, as he rocked his boyfriend back and forth. "It's okay, Jace, you need to wake up, it's just a dream, baby." Simon said to him, loud enough, but not screaming and Jace opened his eyes in panic, his breathing still labored and the sweat glistening on his forehead. He mumbled something frantically and his eyes searched the room and Simon put both his hands on his cheeks, holding him in place. "Hey, it's me. I'm here. You're okay." he said to him in a soothing manner, even though his heart was beating frantically, too. He would never get used to seeing Jace like this - so vulnerable and scared.

The blonde sighed in utter relief when he leaned into Simon and the brunette shuffled back, resting against the headboard, letting Jace lie on his chest. He let his hand go through the blonde strands, gently caressing them until Jace's breathing evened out. He hummed a tune, the song he had once sang at New York, at the charity event Jace's company had donated to. It seemed forever ago. He felt Jace relax on top of him, but he let the silence engulf them for a few minutes, before he spoke. "Who was it this time?" Simon asked softly, knowing that it wasn't easy for Jace, but the blonde once said to him, that it helped to talk these things through, even if he would protest at the time. Simon wouldn't push Jace, but he asked every time, just in case Jace wanted to talk.

"Jose again." came a small voice and Simon felt his heart contract at the pain behind it. He kept stroking Jace's hair, while the other snaked to hold his hand. "You haven't had that one in a while." Simon commented, still very calm. He felt Jace nod against him. "I know. It wasn't like the last few times though. It was different this time." the blonde said, his voice a little louder now and Simon furrowed his brow. He didn't want to press so he let Jace think for a moment. The blonde sighed, shuffling a little so he could pull the covers over them, that he had managed to shove off in his nightly terror. "I didn't even see him, I could only hear him. I was in a dark room, and before me was this door, with light coming from under it. It was so dark, that was the only thing I saw." Jace started talking and Simon felt his voice tremble. He squeezed his boyfriends hand tightly.

"And then, I heard him. Behind the door, he was screaming. At first, it was just screams, but then he started- started to yell my name. Asking me to help him, begging me to-" Jace took a deep breath and Simon wrapped his arms around him. "-I couldn't move. Couldn't do anything. It was so real. And then I heard Jonathan's voice. Daunting me. Edging me to come save Jose, but I couldn't. And it wouldn't stop, the screaming just wouldn't stop." Jace was breathing heavily again and Simon knew he was holding back tears. His brave angel, never wanted Simon to see him cry. The brunette leaned down, kissing the crook of Jace's neck. "It's okay, baby. Let it out. You're here, with me." he whispered and he felt Jace shudder as he took a deep breath. When Simon moved, so he could face him, he instinctively brushed away the tears. Jace looked so small.

"You know what I'm going to say, right?" he asked and Jace gave him a sad smile. "That it's not my fault?" he asked, his voice cracking. Simon nodded and leaned in to kiss Jace's cheek. "Angel, it wasn't. It still isn't. You are a good person, Jace. It's not like people are divided into good and bad people. We all have both - good and evil in us. It's what we choose to act on that defines us. And I have seen you do so many good things, Jace, I can't even count them all. You saved me, multiple times. You help the people in need and you cared for my friends and family, even though you didn't know them. You promised to help Becky and you did. You didn't have to do any of those things, but you did." Simon spoke to him very softly, his voice barely audible, but he knew Jace could hear him perfectly. 

The blonde closed his eyes, his face still so sad. "Anyone would've done that." he said and Simon shook his head instantly. "No, Jace. You could've chosen to not to. But your heart, the good, pure heart that you have, didn't let you. You are the best thing that ever happened to me Jace and I won't let you think that you don't deserve to live or to be loved. Because you do. More than anyone I've ever met." Simon said, his hand going back to Jace's cheek as he made the blonde look at him. Jace's eyes met his and they were deeper, a shade of black almost in the darkness of the room. The very faint and soft light of the first rays of sun tried to peek from behind the ghastly curtains, and Simon could almost heart their heartbeats. Slow, steady. Jace's face was peaceful now as he touched their foreheads together.

"I can't believe I found you. I love you, so much." Jace said to him, the tone of his voice was so full of emotion, Simon's heart could burst with the feelings he had for Jace. No one ever came close to that. Jace was his angel, his burning sun. The angel that saved him and now it was his turn to save Jace. "I love you, angel." Simon replied, never getting tired of hearing those words from Jace and saying them himself. He leaned in to kiss Jace's lips. It was so sweet and soft, they were barely touching. Slowly, Simon lowered them down and pulled back, still facing Jace. He wrapped his arm around the blonde and Jace did the same, closing his eyes. Simon moved a bit of Jace's hair from his eyes, before he closed his own eyes as well, knowing full well, that in about an hour, the alarm would start interrupting the peaceful slumber they fell into.

***

Simon leaned over the sink to spit out the toothpaste, when he heard Jace groan. "I am now regretting the choice of skinny jeans in my life." he heard the blonde say and Simon chuckled. He moved to the room, his chest still bare but wearing his loose fitting blue jeans. Jace was struggling and Simon eyed him, until he gave mercy. "Come on, take these. We're sort of the same size. We'll do a shopping spree when we get to Austin." he told the blonde, tossing him a pair of baggy gray pants. Jace rolled his eyes excessively. "I get that I have been shot, but that doesn't mean that I can't look good." Jace said, gingerly picking up the pants from where they landed on the bed. Simon shook his head. "You sound like Magnus." he laughed, moving to pick up his wallet. 

Just then, they heard a buzzing sound. Jace eyed the burner phone on the desk. "Um, Magnus is the only one that knows that number, right?" Jace asked, suspicious. Simon nodded, but didn't move to pick the call up. It buzzed a few times and then stopped. Jace stared at Simon and the brunette stared back, and after a few seconds, it ringed again. "Well, I'm taking it. Maybe it's important." Simon said and Jace nodded but stood up. He came next to Simon, standing shoulder to shoulder with him so he could hear. Simon clicked the green button and answered the call. "Hello?" he asked cautiously. "Simon, it's Isabelle." came a weak voice and Simon let out a relieved breath. He felt Jace do the same, although the crease on his forehead remained. "Iz, how did you get this number? I told Magnus not to call me, if only in case of emergencies, I'm-" Simon stopped himself just in time. "-having a massage at the hotel." he finished, remembering that he had to act like he was on a 'vacation'. "Nevada is great and all, but they have terrible cell-service. Sorry I haven't called." Simon said for good measure.

"Ah, right, yes well... This is an emergency, Simon." Isabelle said and Simon could hear her voice was shaky and uneven. He furrowed his brow. Jace shuffled next to him, but he seemed to be concentrating on what Isabelle was saying. "What do you mean? Izzy, what's wrong?" Simon asked, hoping that his gut was wrong, and nothing horrible had happened. There was a sniffle from the other side and Simon braced himself.

"It's Clary. She's...well, she's missing." Isabelle said, making the blood drain from Simon's face as he exchanged a look with Jace, who's eyes read utter confusion.

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A/N: I hope you are enjoying this story so far. I enjoy writing it, anyways. I love when you guys comment, it gives me so much motivation, and even if there are like 2 people reading it, I'm still so thankful. So, leave me comments and vote. Take care xx