Troy

I run out of the house as fast as possible and head to my car. I look over my back multiple times, checking to see if anyone is following me. I wanted to see if someone actually loved me in that house.
Maybe I've just been living in the wrong place my whole life.

I was serious about leaving this time. I tried escaping so many damn times, to the point where I've lost count.

I throw all my bags and belongings into the car and head to the front seat. I couldn't take in and believe what was happening. I hated my life now. I've lost everything I ever loved and cared about.
I want someone who understands what it feels like to be rejected by everyone. You think I'm fine, but on the inside I was being torn apart.

To everyone I was like a balloon, you would hold onto me when you needed me, but when something else catches your attention, you would immediately let go.

It's sad to think that you were raised with some people who didn't even care about you. I wanted parents who would sacrifice themselves for me, who would spend all their time with me.
I turn on the engine then something struck me, where the hell am I even going? There were so many places I knew, but I never felt welcome in any of them. I sit in my care for 5 minutes, thinking where I should go, when I remember The Pub.

I used to work there a few years ago, but I got fired after I ate a pizza slice from a customer's box.
In a few minutes, I was in front of The Pub, looking for a parking. The only thing that caught my attention was the Christmas lights. I was pretty sure it's March now.
I find the perfect spot and park my car there, it was also the spot I was parked in as an employee.

I walk into the store, like I used to do for a whole year, and realise that nothing has changed in the last 2 years. "Troy, my man, wats up?" Noel, my ex-co-worker, asks. "long time, no see" I say and walk up to him. When I see his face clearly, I realise that's he's grown a beard and got a third piercing on his left ear. "Wow", I say with astonishment, "you've changed. A lot". He lets out a small smile and says, "so tell me what's happened in the past few years, I need a catch up".

We sit on a table where no one can see us and I explain to him all out Kaylee and how I can't get away from her. I tell him about Emma and how I can't seem to get closer to her. And the most important part, my parents giving up on me
"Wow, your life has turned around and hit so many bumps in such a small time," he explodes with laughter. "well, thank you for your honesty," I say, sarcastically. "I'm sorry, man,"
He answers.
After realising that we've been talking for 2 hours, I get up and leave. I head to somewhere totally different this time.

While getting in the car, I think about what I said to Noel and what we talked about. It's not until now that I see how I explained every single inch of my life to him.
I let out a small sigh when I think of Emma. Just remembering her stunning blue eyes, and her long brown hair and her body overwhelmed me. Every time I thought about how she would never be mine, it would ruin my joy and get me down.

I needed someone who I could trust, someone who I could tell all my secrets. But, this generation is just made of senseless humans who just hurt one another, thinking it's not painful when actually many people have suicided due to it.

One day, when I'm about to take my last breathe, I'll be underwater. Drowning. I know my death would be a suicide, so no one can even blame fate.
So many people wish to die, including me. But when the day comes, I wonder if they regret their choices and wish for a longer life.
I'm pretty sure I won't be one of those people. I don't even doubt it. We're all going to die, one day. Some people just want it to happen earlier.
I wonder, if you knew the day you were gonna die, what would people do?

I know, I would sit on my bed and regret every single choice I ever made. I would wish to rewind back and change my life. Why was I even born? I'm a literal waste of body and skin. Why wouldn't God give my body to someone else, who would actually use it properly?

I'm just a big, fat mistake.

I never asked for a life like this. I never wanted to live in a place surrounded by people who hated me. Death would always sound peaceful to me. I wanted to die a painless death, like in my sleep.

I sit in my car, not knowing where to go. So then I decide to go somewhere I've never been before.
I unlock my phone and dial Emma's number. I wait for two rings before she answers, "hello?" A soft voice asks,"Troy?" When I hear her voice I feel like I have lost the ability to speak. "Um... Hi, Emma," I say, "do you mind if I come over right now. I really need you help."

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So how'd you like this chapter?

I'm so sorry I didn't update in AGES I promise to stay more active.