Adelaide

The first week of Justin's healing process is slow, making the days seem like they drag on and on. Because Helene works, I offer to take a week off school and take care of Justin during the day. I find it ridiculous that she can't get time off of work to take care of her recovering son, but I don't mind taking on the task of watching over him. All I really have to do is wake him up every few hours so he can take some pain meds and make sure he doesn't develop any symptoms that could raise a red flag for meningitis. Other than that, he can do most things by himself so long as he treats himself with extra caution. It actually surprises me how mobile he can be after such an intense surgery. Though a simple task such as walking does tire him out easily.

The only time we really have a problem is when night falls and it's time for bed. Because of the stitches and the amount of healing that's going on, Justin can't lie back completely, meaning each night before I go home, Helene and I spend a good fifteen minutes piling pillow after pillow around Justin to make sure he's propped up but in comfortable enough way that he doesn't strain his neck. Every time we do it, Justin mutters words about how he doesn't need the special treatment. My response is always the same: "You've been through an invasive surgery, Justin. Stop being modest and let us take care of you."

He usually shuts up after I say that.

The second week is aggravating for Justin because the itching has started and he can't risk scratching around the incision and meddling with the stitches. In between classes, I endlessly search Pinterest for remedies that can stop the itching healing incisions bring. I would have stayed with Justin longer, but I didn't want to make Sophia gather up our homework any longer. At least while I'm there, I can keep up and gather everything Justin needs. Anyway, I had no such luck finding anything to help stop the itching and when I asked my mom about it, she told me he's just going to have to deal with it.

By the third week, Justin's almost himself again. He rarely has to take pain meds, the stitches have started to dissolve, and he's started doing mild exercise routines. He does get tired easily still, but not as bad as before. Instead of needing a nap every couple of hours, he only needs one after school or when he's exerted too much energy. But, like every recovery process, there are days where the cycle needs to be broken. He begins to attend school, but only the classes that require attendance.

It takes a full month and three days for Justin to get back to normal. Today's the first day he's been at school without displaying any fatigue or has any plans of returning home. 

"It's amazing that you're here," Sophia says, still amazed. "I thought you'd still be in bed or something at this point."

"Soph," Zander says, "he was here last week, too."

"Yeah, I know," she replies. "But he's been here all day and he's not planning on going home, right Justin?"

Normally, Justin would nod his head. But because he's still wary about everything, he gives my cousin a thumbs-up with his free hand. His other hand is too busy resting on my hip.

I smile to myself not just because he's adorable but because it's been just over a month since he had his last seizure – partial or tonic-clonic. Just over thirty freaking days. If that's not a good sign, then I don't know what is. And with each day that passes, my hope and excitement for him become stronger.

He's still taboo about it, though. Last night, when Justin, Chris, and Helene came over for dinner, along with the rest of my family, I tried to bring it up with him and just express how happy I am, but he shut it down immediately. He didn't explain why, exactly, but I feel like he doesn't want to jinx it. The doctors did say to null any seizures that happen within the three months of recovery because Justin's brain is still healing, so I'm assuming that goes for no abnormal brain activity as well. Still, though. It's exciting and I really believe he's going to be okay.

"So, man," Zander continues. "What's it like?" He squints at the hair covering Justin's scar. "Do they actually saw through the bone and everything? Do they remove it completely?"

It's at this moment that I realize how much Justin has changed. He would have ignored Zander's question, possibly taking offence to it, and changed the subject. This time, however, he dives right in. "Yeah," he replies with a hint of a smile. "They do saw through it. But they don't remove it." He chuckles a little. "They basically peel the bone and skin back while they do the surgery."

I love how casually Justin says it, like it's nothing at all, but the rest of our friends are all suddenly looking a little green.

"No offence," Nadira says, "but that's disgusting."

"Ugh," Jacey says, pushing her sushi away. "I'm done. Anyone want the rest?"

Me being me, I reach out and grab a piece of sushi, popping into my mouth as Sophia makes a gagging noise. "That is nasty! You're just like my dad, Justin – explaining things that don't need to be explained."

Justin laughs. "You asked, Soph. And you know I don't sugar-coat things."

Zander, who has been staring at Justin, asks, "Can we see the scar?"

This makes Justin go quiet and I reach out to squeeze his forearm. He's always been self-conscious about revealing his scar. That's why I couldn't believe what he asked me to do for him that night in the hotel bathroom. Not having his hair to act as a curtain must have made him feel naked.

"You don't have to," I murmur only so he can hear.

Justin, however, takes a deep breath and agrees. "Yeah, I guess so." He looks at me. "I need your help, though."

I instantly know what he means. Though he can feel the scar, it'll take him a few minutes longer to display it without a mirror. I nod and motion for him to lean forward, which he does. Within a matter of seconds, I have his hair parted in a way that displays the scar. I have to hold a couple of locks back because they're still not as long as they were before the surgery, but I make sure my hands aren't in the way as the gang takes a look.

"That's wicked," Zander says. "And it's not even the whole scar, is it?"

"Nope," Justin replies.

And it's true. I'm only displaying a small portion of the scar, but I think it gets the message across.

"That's insane," Nadira breathes. "Jeez, I'd still be in bed if I were you. It really is amazing that you're here."

Justin shrugs as I brush his hair back into place with my fingers. "It's not too bad. The couple weeks or so are rough – you get tired easily, sometimes the pain meds don't work, and it's hard to sleep. You keep asking when it's going to end and all that. But as time goes on, things start getting easier day by day. It's really not a big deal."

"Fuck that," Zander says after a sip of his Gatorade. "That is a big deal, man."

"Totally," Sophia and Jacey agree.

Justin clears his throat and looks down at his half-eaten sandwich, his cheeks a light shade of pink. It must be a little strange for him to have a bunch of people that accept him for who he is. I hope it's not overwhelming, though. He's acting modestly right now, but I know how much this really means to him.

Cluing into Justin's modesty, Sophia changes the subject. "So, Addie, have you picked out a dress for grad yet?"

I scowl at my cousin. After spending hours trying to find a dress for the Winter Formal, there's no way in heck I want to go dress shopping again. "No, I haven't," I reply.

"I think she's still hungover from the Winter Formal scandal," Jacey jokes.

Of course, the girls start howling with laughter when my scowl deepens. I feel like my five-year-old self that's ready to throw a temper tantrum again. Justin, a smile on his face, nudges me in the ribs. "You know the dress was worth it, right?" he whispers.

Though I want to keep scowling, I can't stop myself from smiling as I think about our date night in Vancouver before his surgery. Finding that dress was worth it in the end, obviously. That night is a night I am never going to forget. We both agree that it wasn't our style and we'll probably never go somewhere like that ever again, but the fact that we got to have such a different experience with each other makes me feel warm inside.

Suddenly, I find myself glancing at Justin's neck. He's still wearing my necklace, which is another thing that makes me feel warm inside. He hasn't taken it off since I fastened it around his neck. Sometimes I feel like he's forgotten about it, but then I notice him playing with the pendant absentmindedly. He's been doing that a lot lately, actually. I think it's a way to remind himself that this is real, that so far, the surgery has worked. Personally, I think it's a much better alternative that touching the scar.

"Yes," I whisper back, resting my head against his shoulder. "Yes, it was."

He smiles and kisses my forehead.

"You guys are so cute together," Nadira sighs, looking at us dreamily.

This time, I blush. At the start of the year, I hadn't been planning on dating anyone. I know it worked out for my parents and Sophia's parents, finding a high school sweetheart, but I just didn't think I was going to meet anyone I was willing to take the chance with. Until I met Justin, that is.

Love is a strange thing in that way – it seems like you know what you want and then it just sweeps in, knocking you off your feet without a warning.

"You really are," Sophia agrees. "Speaking of grad, we should all make sure we get a table together. I think the sign-up sheets open next week."

We all nod in agreement. There's nothing better than spending grad with your group of friends.

For the rest of lunch, we talk about grad-related things. Well, they do. All I can do is look at Justin and just how involved he is in the conversation. It almost brings tears to my eyes. Although he's not willing to admit aloud that this surgery may have possibly worked just yet, I don't doubt that he believes it already. This conversation is enough proof. He wouldn't be so interested if he didn't believe it.

And I hope this isn't the only time he experiences something like this.

I hope, in a year, he gets his learner's license and is able to drive.

I hope those meds are eventually disposed of.

I hope he gets the chance to binge on cake and butter tarts and whatever type of dessert he wants on his birthday from now on and doesn't have to worry about the sugar content messing with the neurons in his brain.

I hope he becomes an electrician as he wanted to.

But more importantly, I hope he realizes that life is not about who you once were, it is about who you are right now and who you have the potential to become.