Adelaide

Time passes in the blink of an eye, and before I know it, we're two days away from Justin's big Chem midterm. And after loads of studying and buckling down to memorize terms that could possibly be useless to us in the future, depending on what we decide to do after graduating high school, I think he's ready.

Checking off the final question on the practice exam I stayed up until two-in-the-morning creating last night, I look up at Justin with a big smile on my face. "Eighty-six per cent - that's an A. I know it's just multiple choice on this one, and that the real midterm with have short answer and long answer questions, but I made sure my practice one went over the basic components of each chapter. If you can answer all these, then I think you can do it."

Justin collapses back onto his pillows and breathes a sigh of relief. He looks tired, but I can't blame him. We've been going at this for four hours now, barely taking a break to devour the egg salad sandwiches Helene made us when she got home from Chris's indoor soccer game. I'm tired, too.

"Addie," he says. "You have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you - thank you so much."

I shrug, feeling bashful, and begin to pick at the chipped nail polish on my nails. I don't know why I bother painting my nails - all I ever do is pick at it when I'm nervous or bored. "It's no big deal. Seriously." I glance at him through my lashes. "Honestly, I like being your tutor. It means I get to spend more time with you."

Justin smiles at me. It's genuine and filled with warmth, and it shows off his cute dimples. I love those dimples.

"You know," he says as he begins to clean up the papers and textbooks that are spread across his grey bedspread. "The fact that you always tell the truth is one of my favourite things about you."

"Really?" I ask, sounding surprised. I watch intently as he gets off the bed, all the supplies in his arms, and heads over to his desk.

"Yeah," he nods, setting our work down. He turns around and chuckles. "Why do you look so shocked?"

I shrug, watching as white specks fall across the grey fabric like oddly-shaped snowflakes. "Some people hate that I tell the truth instead of lying. You're one of the first ones, besides Mom, Dad, Jake, and Alex, that don't seem to mind. I just don't see the point in lying or sugar-coating something. Dad caught me in the midst of a lie when I was about six-years-old and he sat me down for a stern talking-to. He told me that truth is like surgery - it hurts but it cures. And a lie is like a painkiller - it gives relief but has side effects forever. The fact that he was mad at me and so much taller may have contributed to me remembering those words so clearly, but that doesn't matter. What I mean to say is that I took those words and locked them in my heart forever." A crease between my eyebrows forms as I brush the white flakes of dried nail polish into a pattern. "I believe that if you're in a relationship of any kind that you need to be honest, open, and have the ability to solve conflict. Without those three things, a relationship is bound to fail."

Justin traces his finger along the edge of the desk. "I agree," he murmurs. Though he's here, in the same room as me, the look in his eyes says otherwise. He looks distant, like something is on his mind and he's stuck in deep thought about it.

I shake my head and brush the mess I've made into my hand so I can throw it away. "I know I'm only seventeen and these words sound like they're too much for someone my age to hold, but with my parents being through what they've been through, we've always been a close-knitted family. They've never kept a secret from us and they've given us advice when need be. I want to be like my mom and dad."

Getting to my feet, I walk over to where Justin is and empty the contents in my hand into the small garbage bin beneath the desk.

When I'm finished disposing of the flaked nail polish, Justin grabs my hand and inspects my nails. "Why do you do that?" he asks.

"Believe it or not," I reply, "I get nervous. I know most girls paint their nails for the fun of it, but I do it so I don't revert to biting my nails." I glance at the hand he's holding. My nails are stubby and uneven. I look back up at Justin and give him a small smile. "Though I guess I haven't been doing too well lately."

He smiles back at me. "What could you possibly be nervous about?"

My own smile broadens a little as I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck. His hands instantly find their place on my hips. I twirl a lock of his soft hair around my pointer finger. "I've never had a boyfriend before," I say softly. "Sometimes I fear I'm going to mess it up. This" - I jerk my chin in his direction - "scares me a little. I don't know where this is going to go, and not having complete control is what scares me. But with you, I kind of like the idea of the unknown."

Justin tips my chin up, his blue eyes meeting mine. "I hate the unknown," he whispers. "I hate not knowing what's going to happen. But you know what? Overcoming something you don't like is all part of the journey. And what I have with you, isn't worth giving up."

If you can live each day focusing on the small moments, the ones where you feel unexplainable joy and happiness and are fundamentally aware of everything going on around you, then at the end of the day, you can string these moments together and realize you've had a pretty good day.

This is one of those moments. From the point where Justin lowers his mouth and connects his lips with mine to the point where his fingertips begin to tease the skin of my abdomen, I feel truly alive. I'm aware of every inch of my body and how my heart is vigorously pumping blood through my veins and how each nerve from the top of my head to the tips of my toes feels like it's going to combust into flame.

One of Justin's hands is pressed against the small of my back while the other is tracing faint, ticklish patterns near my belly button, the heat of his body warming me up in every way. My head feels like it's swimming in an ocean of euphoria. The kiss is nothing like the one we shared in my bedroom or on our first date - it's full of immense passion.

Hesitantly, I unlock my arms and reach up to cup his face, pulling him closer and making the kiss urgent. I can't get enough of him.

It's a heavy, beautiful kiss. It's soft, slow, and sensual, like the snowflakes that are blanketing the ground outside during this very moment.

"Addie?" Justin breathes, pulling away and allowing his eyes to search my face.

"Yes? I answer, my voice breathless. I blink rapidly to clear the dreamy haziness that's consuming me.

Justin glances at the single soft pink rose that's in a vase on his windowsill. Pulling away for a second, he gently grabs the flower and holds it out to me. "Will you go to the Winter Formal with me?"

I giggle and playfully smack him in the arm. "Who else would I be going with?" I ask. "You're my boyfriend."

He looks up at the ceiling, shaking his head with embarrassment. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"So," I continue, "I will obviously go to the Winter Formal on Friday with you. Yes."

With an awkward smile, he nods at the rose. I take it, smiling at the petals. The only reason Justin has this in his room is that I mentioned how much I love the smell of roses and the softness of their petals. He's had one every time I've been over.

As I twirl the flower between my fingers, I ask, "Why keep one in here?"

Justin tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Roses remind me of you - forgiving, beautiful, and sweet." He then gently taps the single thorn on the stem. "But also bold, powerful, and strong."

I blush, ready to argue that I'm not everything he's listed. But the longer I think about it, the more I begin to believe it. Since meeting Justin, I've become less dependent on my friends and a little more independent. I don't find myself fearing to get up in front of the class to do speeches anymore, or needing someone beside me when running errands like I used to.

So I don't argue. "If I'm a rose," I say, "then so are you, Justin. I don't know what it's like to experience a family being torn apart by a divorce, but just seeing you standing here now is proof enough that you can get through rough times without giving up."

Pain momentarily flashes in his eyes, but then he pulls me in for a hug.

"Thanks, Addie," he whispers. "For everything."