Justin

The nervousness scares me.

It doesn't fade away – it's been churning in my gut since the moment Addie connected her lips to my cheek and then fled my house. I could barely handle the exchange we made at school this morning for my costume and now I'm on my way to her house for a Halloween party.

I think I've lost my mind.

I guess, technically, I have lost some of my mind – aren't the brain and mind the same thing? Serve the same purpose and all that shit?

I suddenly realize how much I despise puns.

Fucking puns.

Instead of focusing on that kind of shit, I focus on the costume.

Addie really did pull through, which has taught me to never doubt her again when it comes to costumes. She found me a golden-coloured wig, a green tunic with silver embroidery on it, a thick brown belt, brown boots that are a size too big, a fur cape that's a mix of light browns and greys, and at school she told me to wear simple black pants beneath it. Though I find the look to be modernized, it's still pretty damn good for what she had to work with.

Looking down at my costume as I step out of the vehicle, I sigh. Sure, I look like Aedion in some ways, but I certainly don't feel like him. He's the Wolf of the North, a general. Me? I'm just some stupid, useless boy with epilepsy that can't even shower without someone else being in the house. Certainly doesn't sound like the character I read about in the books.

At the front door of Addie's house, there's a sign that tells us to just come on in. So Mom and I do.

Addie's house is abuzz with people. Kids are bustling around the house, there are platters of food hogging every inch of the table, and small groups of talking and laughing people are scattered through the area. So much for a small party.

But I'm just looking for the one familiar face I want to see.

Finally, I spot her.

And I have to admit, I'm surprised.

I'm sure she knows everyone in the house, but she's off to the side, sitting on a chair and looking as though she knows nobody – not even her own parents.

Being the confident woman Mom is, she tells me she's going to find Addie's parents to discuss the tutoring plans. I want to argue, but it was part of our agreement. So long as someone knows, I'm allowed to come over to Addie's house for tutoring sessions. I hate it, but if it's the price I have to pay to spend time with her, then so be it.

We say a quick goodbye – which I'm surprisingly thankful for – and then separate.

I'm instantly drawn to Addie, sucked in by her magnetic field. As I walk across the entrance and to the dining room, I take in her costume. She looks breathtaking – the way the dress hugs her curves, her catlike makeup, the colour of the dress against her skin tone, the faint shadow beneath the golden neckline of her dress.

When I'm standing beside her, I see that she's completely immersed in a book.

"Enjoying yourself?" I ask.

Addie jumps and then looks up. Her blue eyes widen and she slides off the barstool, drops the book, and throws her arms around me. "You came!"

"Yeah, I guess I did," I reply, hugging her back. She smells like vanilla and cherry blossoms with a subtle hint of musk.

Addie pulls away, smiling and forgetting the book she was reading. "You're wearing the costume."

"Well," I drawl. "I couldn't disappoint my princess after she pulled through on her end of the bargain." I look down at my costume. "Where did you get all this?"

Addie's eyes fill with something that I haven't seen in years – desire. I swear my heart forgets how to beat for a moment. "Uh," she says, cheeks turning a pretty pink beneath the ghost leopard markings. "The tunic is from a costume Jake wore last year. He was Link from that video game he plays. The boots went with a costume my dad wore a couple years ago."

No wonder the boots are too big for me.

"The wig was just there," she continues. "And the cape was from Uncle Hart dressing as a Viking last year."

I nod my head, awestruck by how she managed to put together such a good costume with varying options. "Well," I say, "I love my costume. But yours is amazing. Did you do the ghost leopard design yourself?"

Addie rolls her eyes. "Three hours in front of the bathroom mirror, but I eventually got it."

I scratch the back of my neck where the wig is irritating me. "It's amazing."

Addie throws the biggest smile I've ever seen my way, and I can't help but relish in the fact that that smile is meant for me. I don't know when the last time someone smiled for me was. I've missed it – having a purposeful spot in someone's life. Even if it's simply being the other half of their costume.

"So..." Addie trails off, staring at the floor. "Do you want a drink or something?" She swipes her own drink from beside a bowl of chips and takes a sip. Something tells me she's doing that to try and figure out what to say next; to buy herself some time.

"Sure," I shrug. "What do you have?"

She starts heading over to the what I presume is the kitchen, and I find out I'm correct when we round the corner. It's a large, stunning kitchen – one that would be on those home renovation shows my mom loves to watch.

"I don't know about your parents, but mine let me have one drink on nights like these. So I'm drinking spiced rum and Coke. Do you want one?"

I instantly shake my head. The amount of sugar that's in Coke will mess with my head, likely causing a seizure an hour or so after I drink it. The main reason I avoid sugar. "Water's good enough, thanks. Not really a fan of alcohol or anything like that."

"Okay," Addie says. "I'll grab you one."

As I wait for Addie to get me a glass of water, I notice my mom standing with two other adults who must be Addie's parents. The woman with black hair turns in my direction as if she can feel my eyes on her, and I instantly know she's Addie's mom. Though their hair colour is an obvious contrast, their facial structure and blue eyes are identical. The man standing beside Addie's mom also looks in my direction.

Definitely her dad.

Addie is the perfect blend of her parents.

Her mom waves at me, and I wave back to be polite. I don't want to wave back because I know what my mom is telling them. It makes me feel dirty – like my blood has been fused with dirt-enriched oil, grainy and black and toxic.

I look away from the conversation and down at my feet, hoping no one can see the uncomfortableness and sadness I know is present in my eyes. Addie's parents are just two more people that know how much of a freak I am and I can only hope they don't tell their daughter.

"Here ya go," Addie says, popping up in front of me. In fact, I'm so caught off-guard I jump a little. My stomach muscles clench. Surprises are another trigger; anything that makes my stomach want to drop or my adrenaline increase triggers the malfunction in my brain.

"Oh, thanks," I say, hoping she didn't notice my reaction, hoping my brain cooperates tonight.

"No problem," she smiles.

Just to show my thanks, I take a sip of the water. "You lied to me."

Addie frowns. "What?"

"You said this was going to be a small party," I grin, gesturing to the crowded area. "Doesn't look small to me."

She loosens a deep breath. "Oh, right. Well, um, I didn't know that Uncle Atlin would be coming with his four kids when I told you. It was a surprise when he showed up – haven't seen him since the beginning of summer."

A group of kids rushes by. "Those his kids?" I ask, on the verge of laughing. I've never seen a family that outnumbers my own – and I have a big family.

"Yep," she laughs. "Those four little rascals are my cousins." Addie pauses to take a sip of her drink. "Wanna meet my grandparents?"

I'm not a fan of being social with people I don't know, but they're Addie's family members. How bad could it be?

So I nod my head. "Lead the way, Lysandra."

That big, bright smile returns to her face and she loops her arm through mine. "It would be my honour, Aedion." Lowering her voice, she adds, "I love that you're a total nerd like me."

I find myself nodding my head in agreement. I've never met anyone else who is geek enough to participate in cosplay with me. And the smile on my face is genuine. Fuck, it's been a long time since my smile actually meant something.

I glance at Addie as she winds us through the crowd.

Huh.

Maybe I'm going to start liking Halloween.