I learned a number of things while working on the set of Magic Funhouse;
Men often have the most complicated coffee orders...so stop giving white girls shit in Starbucks lines.
Kool-aid stains don't come out of carpets and are much easier to simply cover up with a rug.
There is a company out there that will in fact make 26 molds of one mans penis and there are in-fact many places to hide said molds on a children's T.V set.
I also learned all the cast and crew, their likes and dislikes, perfections and flaws, talents and downfalls.
Cliff is a porn star, Sasha was a singer who's dreams died long ago, Manny was... well, a robot. Me. Chronis was a sexually driven man, Jimmy was a predator, at first I didn't speak to him but there are somethings you need to forget to work with someone; which I did.
Then there was Arlo, he was harder to learn about.
I learned he was a man of many talents;
Writing, acting, he was creative, humorous in his own way...
Kindness was not one of these talents.
That I learned my first day...

"You hired a new P.A?!" Arlo's shrill voice bounced off the walls of the set. The cast cringed.
"The show cannot run without a production assistant, especially not now that we're America's number one kids show!" Chronis answered sternly, standing from the metal foldable chair. The tension between the two man could be felt in the room. Until her voice broke it.
"Hello?" Her voice was soft, nothing like Arlo's that had just shook the set with its sharpness.
"Everyone, don't be assholes," Chronis said harshly. He straightened his tie and waited for the woman to find her way over. They all stood, following their bosses lead, no one knew what to expect. Who the hell would want to work here? Maybe she was homeless and just needed a job, or maybe she was some sort of crazy?
It took each of their own efforts not to gasp, let their jaws drop or make an exclamation of any kind when she finally walked through the door frame.
    She looked... normal. Certainly not homeless by appearance alone and not obviously off her rocker.
      "Uh... Hi, I'm the new P.A." She took a few steps closer to the group. "Pippa Grier," she spoke softly then reaching up to push her glasses back up her nose.
      "Hello! I'm Mr. Chronis, we spoke on the phone," he said making his way towards her, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she tensed. "Everyone, this is Pippa, she will be taking over the role of he who shall not be named. Introduce yourselves and then get to work!" He said, leaving without another glance. Pippa watched him leave and then slowly turned to face the group. She smiled awkwardly, playing with her hands.
     "Well, I'm Jimmy!" She felt relieved as the man stepped towards her, she couldn't help but think his face was familiar. Maybe she knew him from somewhere? Like the news?
      "It's nice to meet you," she said before he left the set too. "You guys don't have to do this whole introduction thing I know your busy," she said. That's when, what she would describe and a mushroom stepped up to her.
       "No one around here does jack shit," it said and then walked away. She furrowed her brow and looked to the others for help.
       "That's Manjusha, Arlo's personal assistant. We don't understand her either," The woman in a yellow dress stepped towards her. "I'm Sasha, probably the only one with real talent. Glad to see another girl around here, other than Manny that is," she said quickly and walked towards the dressing rooms.
     "Cliff, good to meet you," he said, she shook his hand gently. She had to admit, he was handsome but not her type, he looked to put together.
      As he left she turned back to the place they had all once been standing, and only one left was Arlo.
      "Hi," she spoke, he was facing the set, turned sideways to her.
      "Why?" He asks, she furrows her brow and takes a step closer.
      "Why what?" She responds, he scoffs and pulls a drag from his cigarette.
     "Why here? Of all places, you look decently qualified so why here?" He asks turning towards her. He's expecting some cliché answer. 'It's my dream' or some bullshit.
        "Why not." She turns on her heel, towards the door everyone else went out. Arlo watches her leave and continues to stare at the door even after her figure has left. Maybe, just maybe, he doesn't despise her.