Chloe

//

"What is on your face?" Lisa asks as I walk in the door.

"What do you mean?" I ask, bringing my hand up to my face.

"That smile," she points, "I haven't seen one on you in days!"

I blush slightly as I bite lightly on my lower lip to conceal the smile.

"What happened?" Lisa asks, her eyes lighting up, "Oh it's gotta be something good!"

"Nothing happened!" I lie, thinking back to meeting Caleb just a little while ago.

"Bullshit! I'm calling bullshit!" she shrieks, "Tell me!"

I sigh, "It's just that I met this really nice guy at the store and for a few seconds it made me forget about Tom. The way... The way he looked at me... It made me feel special again."

Lisa's eyes soften as she smiles at me.

"I know that it's dumb but I just felt wanted when he smiled at me." I confess, thinking about the way his beautiful green eyes lit up and looked completely mesmerized.

"Well did you get his number?"

I splutter, choking on my water, "No! Are you crazy?"

Lisa looks at me confusedly, "Why would I be crazy?"

"I definitely did not get his number. Nor am I even planning on seeing him again."

"Well why not?"

"Do you really have to ask?"

The way she looks at me tells me she did have to ask, and now I have to answer.

"Because of Tom," I breathe out.

I feel my eyes filling with tears just mentioning his name, "I can't let another guy in after him. I can't let myself be hurt again."

"Well you can't build up your walls, either." She tries to reason with me.

"Yes I can. I need to. It's the only way to be sure I won't get hurt again."

Lisa sighs, "Chlo, if you spend your whole life letting yourself be hurt by what Tom did you'll be building your walls forever. Sooner or later you need to trust again. You need to let someone in."

"No. I can't. Not yet at least."

"Just promise me that you'll try."

I sigh, "I will try but I can't guarantee anything. You know how much he hurt me, I can't go through that again. I can't handle it."

"I know. I get it. But you need to try. If you spend your whole life building up your walls they will get so high that you will just be isolating yourself."

"I know, but I can't think about that right now, I need to work on fixing myself right now. Can we please go watch the movie now?"

Lisa sighs and gives me a light smile, "Yeah. Of course."

//

I can't focus on the movie. I just keep thinking about what Lisa said. Her words form a loop in my brain and I can't get past it.

I know that I have to move on from Tom and I know that I have to live my life.

But I can't.

He hurt me so badly that it is hard to just look past it.

It is hard for me to let people in again, to let myself be loved.

I can't get hurt like that again, I won't let myself.

The only way to ensure that I don't get hurt again is to not let anyone back in. The only way to not have my heart broken, shattered, is to build my walls up so high that nobody will even bother climbing them.

Lisa is wrong, I won't isolate myself, I will protect myself.

Because right now, protecting myself is what I have to do.

//

Heyyy guys! I hope you liked this chapter:) I hope it was a bit longer;)
What do you think about Chloe? Do you think she is doing the right thing or nah?
I love hearing your guys' opinions!
Love youuu!
-Max<3