Jensen, age 16

COOL AIR WHIPPED THROUGH THE OPEN CAR windows as I drove my beat-up pickup truck my parents gave me for my 16th birthday a few months ago. Teddy sat between me and Kelly, and they continually battled over control of the radio. At a momentary truce, they both sang at the top of their lungs to an old country song. The truck was too old for modern day technology, so we were stuck tuning into whatever radio stations came in.

We were on our way to a party being thrown by a junior boy in our high school. Since I was the only one with a car, I was saddled with being the designated driver. They pre-gamed at my house, stealing a few shots of vodka from my parents' not-so-secret stash. I had a feeling tonight was either going to be fun watching my two best friends make fools of themselves or be a complete disaster. It was hard to determine this early in the night.

When the next song came on the radio, Teddy screeched and started dancing along in the seat, her shoulder bumping into me every so many beats. I glanced over at her and smiled. I loved seeing her carefree. It seemed lately she was less and less so. I couldn't figure out why and she sure wasn't dishing, even over endless games of P-I-G where I tried to trick it out of her.

Kelly reached over her to switch to a different station and she swatted his hand. "What the fuck, K? I obviously liked that song. Or wasn't it obvious, ya know, with my dancing and shit?"

He groaned, still flipping through the stations. "Come on, Teddy. I can only take so much of that garbage before my ears bleed."

I switched it back to the song Teddy liked, settling the debate. Kelly huffed his disgust but let it go. As the song was ending, we pulled into the circular drive of a farmhouse, the popular party destination, and we climbed out of the truck.

"Now remember, kids." I laced my arm through Teddy's as we walked toward the house that was lit up, loud music bumping through the open windows. "Let's make smart decisions, yeah?"

"Yes, Daddy." Kelly grinned at me before disappearing into the house, no doubt searching for Leah, his latest fling.

"I'm not calling you Daddy. That's wrong on so many levels." Teddy paused at the door as I held it open for her. "But I do promise to be a good girl." With that, she walked in and waded her way through the crowd of people.

I watched her until I could no longer see her and wondered if I should follow her. She didn't really have many friends outside of me and Kelly, but she had started hanging out with a group of juniors that I wasn't crazy about. When Kelly accused me of being jealous of her new friends, I waved it away. But maybe there was some truth in it. She'd always been my Teddy. I wasn't sure I liked sharing her.

Later that night, I happened upon a group of people forming a circle. When I saw Teddy sitting with the group, I wandered over. A bottle was in the center and a sophomore girl was about to spin it. Kelly noticed me lingering and made room on the floor to sit next to him. "Come play with us, J!" His slurred words alerted me to his level of drunkenness. Yep, it was probably going to be one of those nights where I lugged his heavy body back to my house, put him to bed with a bucket and some water and wished him well.

Cindy, a petite girl who had gone to school with us since preschool, spun the empty beer bottle and we all watched to see where it would land. When it stopped on a lanky boy I knew was a big deal on the football team, a smile lit her face. Apparently, she liked what the odds dealt her. She crawled over to him and practically assaulted him the minute she reached him, which set off catcalls all around the circle.

"Ok, ok, let's keep it PG13, guys." That was from the junior boy whose house we were partying at. He took his turn at the bottle and demonstrated the appropriate way to kiss during this game of Spin the Bottle.

A few turns went by, and I was growing bored. I watched Teddy across the circle from me; she twirled a strand of her long hair around her finger, biting at her lip. I wasn't sure how many kisses she'd had since the night I kissed her behind my house the previous year, her first kiss. A few, I think, if I could go by the rumors floating around the school.

She wasn't kissing and telling, though, and it kind of pissed me off. Not that I wanted to know all the juicy details, but I felt like we were the kind of friends who told each other stuff. Well, I guess, if I'm being honest, it's not like I told her about the girls I'd been making out with either.

Someone designated Teddy to take a turn, and as she spun the bottle, my heart sped up. I wasn't 100% certain if I was hoping for it to land on me or someone else, both scenarios made me equally nervous. It's not like I wanted to kiss her, but I also wasn't too keen on watching her kiss someone else either. Before I had time to dissect these thoughts, the bottle landed squarely on the person sitting to the right of me, on Kelly.

My two best friends stared at each other from across the circle of people. Teddy looked shocked, but Kelly? That fucker wore a big smirk on his face. An irrational desire to punch him struck me, my hands fisted tightly at my sides.

I watched as he beckoned to her with his finger, and she slowly crawled over to him. Before she could lean forward to kiss him, I shot to my feet. "No! Best friends are exempt. It's got to be a rule, right?"

Teddy scrunched her face as she looked up at me. "Kelly isn't my best friend." Her voice was flat and matter of fact.

There was a chorus of ooohs and someone declared, "She's got you there, Jensen." I was pretty sure it was Kelly, but my ears were buzzing so I couldn't be certain. If it was him, he was definitely getting punched in the fucking face.

I glared down at Kelly, and he grinned as if this whole show was entertaining him. He turned to Teddy, who was still kneeling in front of him, and smacked a loud kiss on her lips, complete with juicy sound effects. When he went to lay her down to take the kiss even further, she shoved him off and called him a jerk before storming off.

Kelly and I exchanged heated looks before we both started to follow after her. "What the fuck, Kelly?" I pushed him against the wall, stopping him in his tracks. "What the fuck was that?"

"It's just a game, J. Cool down." He tried to push me off, but I slammed my hands into his chest, pinning him in place.

"That didn't feel like a game to me. It felt like you were fucking with her." I released my grip on his chest and took a few steps back. "She's off limits, K. You know that."

"Why, J? Why is she off limits?" The corner of his mouth turned up slightly, a grin threatening to overtake his face. He was goading me. The fucker really was trying to get punched. I had never hit my best friend before, but there was a first time for everything.

Instead of answering him, I shoved him one more time against the wall and stomped away in search of Teddy. After scouring the house, I finally found her outside, hunched over on the front steps. I plopped down next to her. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I bumped my shoulder into her.

"I'm sorry about that, Teddy. Kelly is a jackoff when sober, but even worse when drunk."

She kicked at the rocks on the step, not responding. I let her stew in silence. There was no sense in forcing her to talk when she didn't want to. Finally, her voice barely above a whisper, she asked, "Why did you get so mad, J? When the bottle landed on Kelly. Why did you jump up saying I couldn't kiss him?"

Her question startled me. Kelly just made an ass of her, and this was what she was mad about? When she finally looked over at me, I stared at her in confusion. "Teddy. What the fuck? That's what you're mad about?"

She jumped off the step and faced me, seething with anger. Her red-rimmed eyes and quivering chin betrayed her, though. She was mere seconds away from crying. I stood up next to her, but when I reached out to grab her hand, she yanked it away. "Why, J? Why did you get so mad?"

"Because we don't kiss friends, Teddy!" My exclamation surprised me. I hadn't meant to say that, and especially with such vehemence. But now that it was out, it felt right. "We don't kiss friends. It gets too messy. That's why."

"Funny since you're the one that kissed me first." She crossed her arms over her chest, squaring off in front of me. "Is it too messy now?"

"You tell me. Is it?" I mimicked her stance. We were at a face off. Even though I towered over her, she felt taller with the anger surging through her small frame.

Without answering, she stormed back into the house. Minutes later, she returned with her new junior friends, and she followed them across the circular drive. Without looking back at me, she crawled into a car and drove away.

-

Present.

FINN: So news on the farm is that a certain Anderson bestie bud has a date with Ajax tonight.

JJ: Shut. Up. You're joking. Teddy is stepping out on our dear J-Boy.

SUTTON: Is it really considered stepping out if J doesn't have the balls to admit he's madly in love with her?

CHARLIE: Oh, fuck. Low blows tonight, guys. Low blows.

VIVI: I happen to think Apple Jax and Teddy make a cute couple. I bet their babies would be super cute, too. Maybe J could be the godfather.

SUTTON: Oooh, good one, V! J would make a good godfather.

SULLY: Really? This is what you assholes choose to blow up my phone over? Because Teddy is going on a fucking date?

Glancing at my phone, I groan. Leave it to my siblings to be royal jackasses about the whole thing. Like I wasn't already stewing about Teddy's stupid date tonight enough on my own.

I resist the urge to respond to the texts. Instead, I walk away from the phone and cross through my apartment to my bedroom. Light shines in through the open doorway, so I don't bother turning on the lights in the bedroom. The green digital numbers on the clock say it's inching closer to the designated date time. I begrudgingly heard from Sutton that Teddy is meeting Jackson at Roxy's for a drink. I guess she decided to skip right over a casual morning date of coffee and go straight for drinks at night.

I tug at my hair. Since it's longer than usual, I can get a decent handful, and I fist it angrily. Looking away from the clock, I tear my shirt over my head, step out of my pants and boxers, and stride into the bathroom just off the bedroom. The bright fluorescent lights assault my eyes as I switch them on. The mirror shows my angry face scowling at me. I flip it the bird.

Jesus, I'm even pissing myself off.

I turn on the water in the shower, warming it up, before I step under the spray. I'm too pissed to jackoff, my usual mode of unwinding after a long day. I opt for roughly scrubbing the grime of the day away under the scalding water.

When that doesn't help, I step out and dry off quickly, leaving the towel to dry on a hook. After pulling on a pair of gym shorts, I head back to the kitchen in search of food. My empty fridge doesn't have anything appealing, so I settle on a beer instead, pulling out a half-filled jar of dill pickles at the last minute. I take the cap off the beer, guzzle half the contents and belch. Then I unscrew the lid on the pickle jar, trying to jab my big hand through the opening to grab one. When that doesn't work, I root around in a drawer for a fork, spear a pickle and eat half of it in a single bite.

A light on the counter grabs my attention. My phone. Apparently, my siblings didn't stop talking in my absence. I debate ignoring the text thread, but my curiosity wins. What other annoying shit are they saying about me? Or, rather, Teddy. And that jackoff Ajax.

When I scan through the texts, I realize they've moved on and are now talking about the mysterious contents of Uncle Don's safety deposit box. When Sutton and I showed them the birth certificate and newspaper clipping, they'd been as confused as us. No one can puzzle out the reason our uncle would want us to have either item.

SUTTON: I think I'm going to head to the library one of these days and see if they keep old newspapers. I want to read up on the missing girl. Does anyone remember what happened to her?

VIVI: Good thinking, Sutton. Maybe I can help.

CHARLIE: I think the old dude was just fucking with us. It's probably nothing. A sick joke to send us on a goose chase.

JJ: Why, though? It doesn't make any sense.

FINN: No shit. He barely paid any attention to us while he was alive. Why would he care to fuck us around when he's dead?

SULLY: I hate to say it, but it must mean something. There's a reason he kept those two specific things for us to see.

JJ: But why cross off all the important info on the birth certificate? If he wants us to have it, why make it so we can't understand it?

CHARLIE: To fuck with us. I'm telling you.

SUTTON: The two items have to be connected. Maybe the unidentified person on the birth certificate is the missing girl. But how does it tie together and how does it relate to Uncle Don?

ME: Come to think of it, I can't remember what ever happened to the missing girl. I feel like the story just died.

FINN: J! There he is! Done sulking about your girl and Ajax?

ME: Fuck the fuck off.

I slam my phone face down on the counter, grab another beer from the fridge and the jar of pickles and stalk off to the living room. I knew I should have ignored my siblings. After flipping through the channels, I settle on something mindless on TV. I'm not really paying attention anyway, my mind filtering through too many thoughts at once.

Maybe Teddy has the right idea. Maybe it's time for me to start dating again. I tend to avoid the whole dating scene, preferring short-lived flings or one-night stands to meet my needs. It's been a while since I've done either of those, to be honest, though. Too long. Maybe that's why I'm getting so hung up on Teddy's dating life.

I scroll through my mental list of girls I'd called in the past, wondering who I could call to hang out. No, no, no. Not her or her or her.

"Shit. Never mind. This is stupid."

I chug more beer from the bottle and settle deeper into the couch, obviously deciding to keep my own grumpy company for the night. The dark apartment feels too quiet and too big tonight. Although I haven't had a serious relationship since high school, the prospect of having regular company is kind of appealing. Too bad that kind of company comes with far too much baggage. I'm still trying to unpack the baggage from the last girlfriend. Caroline. Fuck, that one did a number on me. I have always sworn off anything serious after her. After what happened. What she did. What I ultimately went along with. Even if it wasn't what I wanted.

I finish the last of the beer, stalking to the kitchen to grab a few more. Might as well save myself the trip and stock up. Taking my armful of beer to the couch, I sink down and settle in for a long night.