I was back in that shed of a house. I was hiding, because he was coming. He was coming after me for trying to escape. I failed, and he drugged me to stop my struggle. When I woke up he wasn't there. So now, I'm hiding in a place I haven't before, in the cabinets in the kitchen. I am small, because I haven't been fed enough since I was kidnapped.

I can see him, through a small whole in the cabinet, does he know I'm here? My heart is beating a mile a minute, and I'm sure he'll find me because he hears it too. Or maybe, it'd be my heavy breathing. I'm trying to breathe less, but between that and my fast heart and my fear, I can't help it. Out of nowhere, he's there. He opens the cabinet and reaches for me.

Suddenly I sit up, realizing it was all a dream. Although, my heart is still beating quickly along with my breathing being heavy. Tears are running down my face as if racing each other. Not more than a minute after I wake up I hear someone running down the hall. It wasn't until I heard their voice until I knew who it was. "Hey, guys I'll see what's wrong. It's alright, just go back to sleep."

Luke said this once into our brothers's room and once into our parents's. He ran in, and immediately sat down next to me on the bed. "Hey, hey. What's wrong? Was it a dream? We all heard you screaming?" He whispers. I really don't know what to say.

I look at his concerned face, "I'm so sorry for waking you. I really didn't mean to I'm sorry." I sob once more as I say it. I bet their life was so much easier before I came back. I am a burden. I shouldn't be back. I'm just making problems for them.

"Hey, no. Don't apologize. I'm here for you, don't push me away, please." He pauses and wipes my ever flowing tears, "Don't push me away." I don't mean to, I really don't. I just don't know how to respond to this kind of nightmare. I don't know what to say either, other than I'm sorry, but I don't think he'd like that. I just hug him. It's the only thing I know how to do. It's the first time I've initiated a hug with someone since before I was kidnapped. It's not like I had anyone to hug, not till now.

With my arms still around him, I speak into his chest, "I love you, Lukey. And I missed you so so much."

He smooths down my hair with one of his arms as the other surrounds me still. "And I love you too, Lil. I missed you more than you know." He paused like he was thinking of what to say. "I said a prayer every night to a god I don't believe in. I made posters, mostly with crayons in the beginning, but still. I made Ben and Jack walk all over town with me to put them up and to look for you. I never stopped missing you, not for a minute. I have thought of you at least a million times a day, thinking about where you were, how you were, what you were doing. Even when they told me you were gone, I still searched harder than ever, I still prayed, I still thought of you. I never gave up." He pauses to wipe the tears streaming down his face. "If we wouldn't have found you, I probably would've gone insane." He chuckled at that last bit, even though there were still tears streaming down his face. "Oh, and don't you say you're sorry! It's not your fault you were abducted."

I sit back, and just look at Luke for a minute. I missed him, and he missed me too. I mean, we were close of course he missed me, but I didn't know it was that much. I didn't know he cared that much. I didn't know he cared like I did. I smile, through the tears he managed to get rushing down my face with his speech. "Were you back there, in your dream?" He asks me. I nod because I can't let myself think of my dream or what happened to me there. So I hug him again.

"W-will you stay with me? Just tonight, I just don't wanna dream of there anymore. I don't wanna go back." I ask him and try to stop crying.

"Of course. I'm always gonna be here with you. I'll always protect you." We lay down and I hold him like he's my life preserver. I would be drowning in my delusions if it weren't for him. It doesn't take long before we're both fast asleep.

A few hours later, we're being shaken awake by our mom. "Mooooom, noooo. Five more minutes?" Luke says as if out of habit.

"Not on my watch. We've got a very big day. We need to go shopping to get Lili some clothes, so get up! Now!" She walks out of the room and keeps talking to him, "If you want breakfast you better hurry."

I smile, because I love hearing their voices. I love waking up to that. I love them, so much. I climb over Luke to get out of my bed. Once I'm up, I grab his arms and pull him up. He's so heavy and slow, I laugh as he somehow gets harder to get up and push out of the door. Once he's gone, I realize I don't have anything to wear to go shopping. I just have these big comfortable clothes. I walk out of my room and to the kitchen to see everyone else already there. I sit down as dad passes around the eggs.

"Uh, mom?" I whisper to her.

"Yes, dear?" She says not exactly quietly.

"I don't have any other clothes to change into or wear for shopping." I look at her, my cheeks a bit pink because I'm embarrassed that I am saying this in front of everyone.

"Oh sweetheart that's okay. You'll wear those until we buy something then you can change into them. Or you could wear something of mine instead of Luke's?" I was wearing Luke's clothes? Well, I guess that kinda make sense. Although, I wouldn't have guessed he was this much bigger than me.

"Can I look in your closet?" I ask. Everyone at the table begins to laugh at my response.

"I wouldn't want to wear Luke's clothes either." Ben pokes fun.

"Yeah, definitely not my style either." Jack laughs.

"Of course you can look. You just might not find anything."

After I finish eating, Mom takes me to look in her closet. I decide that if I can't find anything quickly, then we might as well just go, because I'll find something quicker at the shoppes.

After nearly thirty minutes looking through my mom's closet, I find nothing, exactly nothing. I walk out defeated, but knowing I'll find something later.

"LILI, DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?" Luke yells from the other side of the house.

I walk over to him so I don't need to yell. "No, but it's okay. We'll find stuff while we're out."

And we did, we spent nearly eight hours shopping and I found out just how very opinionated Luke and my mom are. She wanted something cutesy, and he wanted something punk rock. I however, wanted something I felt confident in. The combination of all of that, has left me exhausted. The moment we get home, I change back into Luke's sweatpants and t-shirt. What? They're comfy. After I change, I promptly fall into bed, and fall asleep. I didn't even have dinner, and when Jack came into ask me if I wanted some, I barely even woke up.

"Hey, Lili. Lili!" He slightly shakes me to try to wake me.

I make a few random noises, mostly grunts of annoyance."Ugh?'

"Do you want to eat dinner?"

"Mmmmlfmmmm nooooo," was my half-awake response. Luckily, he didn't keep asking, he just left. So I could have a some more sleep. I slept throughout the whole night this time. It's like Luke's speech affected my dreams. I dreamed about our childhood. I basically relived all of our memories. It was really nice to not have nightmares for what seems like the first time in way too long.