For the lovely @travestea because look at that cover to the side, damn.

Chapter Thirty-Three

I drive home.

            That’s what I do after I leave the hotel. That’s what I do after I leave New York City. And that is certainly what I do after Penny tells me she’s pregnant. I didn’t say anything to her, I didn’t talk. I don’t want to talk or even think about it.

            Pregnant?

            As in there’s a fetus inside her and she could very well be a mother soon. As in that the father just might be Lee or why else would she be telling me? Maybe I’m the one who got this all wrong. Penny isn’t the relationship destroyer—I am. Maybe I read it all wrong again just like with Peter and Karen. But there’s no way Lee and her could’ve gotten together because during the whole last few months I’ve known him, he hasn’t been with Penny. She’s been in France, too. It doesn’t make sense.

            Penny is pregnant.

            It keeps ringing in my ears again and again. It rings in my ears even after I park my car in the driveway and come home. I ignore the house’s horrid and trashed state and just walk inside.

            What if Lee had been seeing Penny? I mean after I abruptly left after his birthday bash and after learning about Penny that one time, he and her could’ve continued their relationship. Lee didn’t come back into my life to tell me he loved me. He came because he realized my mother was in a car crash. We weren’t even official until a few days ago.

            “Hey, Ivory!” Brent is holding a sandwich between his teeth and is dressed in pajama pants and a white shirt. He’s stopped walking by the living room, watching me as I come in. He hasn’t cleaned the house yet and is looking at me like I won’t notice. Normally, I would be furious and act like a nagging mother to make sure he made the place spotless but Penny is pregnant—fucking pregnant—so I just take off my shoes and run up to my room.

            “Ivory?” His voice is confused but I can’t tell Brent anything. He would go punch Lee or something or anyone because that’s how Brent deals with things. And right now I would love to deal with things like that too.

            I run up to my room and am grateful that at least people have left. I lock the door and jump onto my bed. I feel like crying but I won’t, so I just lay on the comforter and stare at the ceiling of my room. I kind of feel numb, which is worse than angry or sad.

            Only one damn word comes to mind: pregnant.

            I’m nineteen. I shouldn’t have to worry about the word pregnant. I shouldn’t have to worry about anything actually except upcoming events like graduation and college. I shouldn’t have to worry that my boyfriend’s—can I even call him that?—fiancee might be pregnant with his baby. My boyfriend shouldn’t even have a fiancee, damn it.

            I should be worrying about what I’ll wear to prom. I should be worrying about getting back college acceptance letters. I should be living a simple life.

            I curl to my side. As soon as Lee walked into my life—well, since I lied my way into his—it’s been a mess. Lies and truth, both spilling out at once, both equally destructive.

            Why couldn’t I have just liked some normal kid from school or something?

            I kick a pillow.

            Pregnant.

            It’s starting to hit me how much of a big deal this is. If it’s true, if she’s telling the truth, what’s going to happen to Lee and I? Everything. Yes, Lee and I love each other but if there’s a baby, it won’t work out. Sometimes, love isn’t enough in life. Lee is a gentleman and would probably scamper off to Penny and stay by her side whether he loves her or not. He wouldn’t ditch her or the baby for me. They do have a strong connection like she said.

                    Does Lee even know?

                    I sit up immediately. Does he know? Would he hide that from me?

                Of course not….Right? I lay back down. There’s no way he wouldn’t tell me. Yes, no way. I need to trust Lee just like he trusts me with everything.

            Could I love a man with a pregnant fiance? Would I be stealing him away? The guilt is already crawling up my body, taking me into its captive. I can be mean and I can be a little tough but I can’t take a father away from his son or daughter. I know how hard it already is myself.

            I fall asleep thinking too hard and with one question in my head: Will I have to sacrifice Lee for the sake of another’s life? For Penny? For the unborn child?

❧

The next day, I get ready for school. It’s about time I do. Lee is still in Boston and hasn’t called or messaged. On the other hand, I haven’t either. Should I tell him what Penny’s told me? It’s a internal conflict but I know I’ll have to do the right thing and tell him eventually. In the morning, I pull on shorts and a t-shirt because the heat has been creeping up lately. It reminds me I have a future to worry about as much as my personal life as the summer nears and seasons change.

            “Do you, um, want cereal or something?” Brent is in the doorway of my room, his face looking nervous. Ever since I stalked off to my room and shut myself in there for the rest of the day yesterday, he’s been a little wary. He thinks its feminine problems and definitely does not want to get in the middle of that.

            I sigh, putting down the brush that I was using to comb my hair. “Brent, it’s fine. I’m back to normal. Cereal’s fine.” Lies, lies, lies. I’m not fine! I want to scream.

            He nods, grinning before he runs off downstairs.

            I look at myself in the mirror. There are dark circles under my eyes that I’ve tried concealing to the best of my ability. I fell asleep around noon yesterday and woke up around five and haven’t been able to sleep since. How could I sleep when I’m losing Lee? I want to go back to our twenty four hours of no worries.

            Downstairs, Brent is opening cabinets and looking under the sink. “Where is the damn cereal?” he mutters to himself. It’s all déjà vu.

            I roll my eyes at Brent’s horrible household skills. All he does is sleep and watch television and eat frequently. Then again, I do the same thing. I go past him and into the food pantry in the corner of the kitchen, pulling out Honey Bunch Cheerios. “Here it is,” I say, putting it on the counter.

        Brent smiles and takes it before grabbing a white bowl. I take a seat at the island trying to see how well he can do this before he fails. My predictions are verified when he spills half the cereal bag on the counter instead of the bowl. “Whoops,” he says, moving it to the bowl but it still manages to miss. He pours milk hastily and hands the bowl to me.

        I smile at his efforts. This is the best Brent can be. “Thanks.” I feel like I’m saying thanks for everything, not just the messy bowl of cereal.

        “Ivory, I have to go back to school soon.”

        “What?” I stop the spoon that’s midway up to my mouth. The milk flops off the spoon and onto the counter. “You have to leave?”

        Brent takes a seat next to me with his cereal as well. He looks up at me as he stuffs cereal in his mouth. He talks and chews at the same time. “Yeah, today.”

        I make a face at his horrible manners, but I quickly focus on the main topic here. “Today? That’s so sudden. I don’t want you to go.” I don’t want to be alone in this house by myself. It’s hard enough trying not to break down every second.

        He frowns, milk dripping down his chin and onto his shirt. “I know but I really only came for your birthday, remember? I set up my schedule back in Florida so I could leave the day after your party. I wasn’t expecting two billionaires in bed with you or a comatose mother.”

        I know he doesn’t mean to hurt me but it kind of still stings. I feel like a horrible sister whenever he brings up that I didn’t tell him our mother was in an accident. It just happened so fast and I was too busy hurting to tell Brent. And then he had to find out himself after finding me in a bed with two guys.

        “I’m sorry,” I say, looking down at my cereal.

        Brent punches me in the face lightly and I almost tip out of the chair. “Shut up, would ya? It doesn’t matter anymore so quit walking around with a permanent frown drawn on your face. I don’t know what happened yesterday or what’s going to happen tomorrow, but quit it with the mopey-dopey vibe. You’re better than that.”

        I rub the side of my face he hit and grin. “I’m really going to miss you.”

        He smiles wide back. “I know, kid. But what do you expect? End of the year exams and all that jazz. You must have those, too, don’t you?”

        I nod. “And graduation and prom. You’ll come to graduation, right?” I try not to think about Mom not being there and force cereal in my mouth. She’ll wake up.

        “Of course! You can expect that from the best brother in the world,” Brent says, a smug expression on his face. “Also, I paid off this month’s bills so you can relax. But lay off the water a little, that one was through the roof.” He grins at me. “I’m so great, aren’t I?” I roll my eyes as he checks the time. “Uh, I think you’re late for school.”

        I quickly stand, look for my things, and give him a quick hug. “Thanks, Brent. You’ll see me before leaving, right?” I grab my bag off the counter and stuff random papers inside. My car keys are in my hand and I’m ready to go.

        “I’ll try,” he replies, too busy with his cereal. “Don’t touch my car!”

        I slip on sandals and rush out of the house. “I won’t!”

        It’s humid out and I frown because I hate humidity. I like dry heat. It’s not sticky and doesn’t make you feel gross as much as humid heat. My car is burning inside already and the whole way to school I crank my air conditioner up high. Driving back into the parking lot of school feels weird. Like I don’t belong here anymore.

        I park and grab my things, getting out of the car. Instantly, there are stares. How fast has news traveled around here? Are they talking about Mom? Are they talking about Lee Richardson and I? They must’ve all seen him yesterday night at some point.

        “Well, if it isn’t Ivory Grace Flores!”

        Candy runs up to me, tackling me in a hug even though we saw each other two days ago. She doesn’t care about the extra eyes and I decide that I don’t either. I return the hug and see how different she looks from the last time I was in school. The red tint is in her hair and the ever growing smile on her face is bright. She looks different and I bet I do, too.

        “Missed you,” she says as we fall into a pace walking to the entrance. “School’s been twice as hell-like without you.”

        “I missed you, too,” I say, smiling. “I am ecstatic to be back.”

        She rolls her eyes, grinning at my sarcasm. “I can tell.”

        We’re both silent for a while, just walking by each other. I think what’s important in life are not the awkward silences you share with certain people, but the comfortable silences you share with your close ones. It shows how much Candy and I are at ease with each other. It’s not a chore to talk to her but a privilege. That’s how friends should be. I really have missed her.

        Candy starts smiling as she thinks about something and it peaks my interest. I take a better look at her. She’s glowing. Her hair looks luscious and her cheeks have a healthy light pink. I knew something was different other than her new hair. Candy looks like…she’s in love.

                “Spill the beans,” I say, crossing my arms. I grin and stare at her, stopping in my tracks. I have a feeling I already know what I’m going to hear.

        “What?” Candy presses her lips together the try to hide her giddy smile. I stare at her a little longer and she cracks. She jumps up and puts her hand over her mouth, squealing. “Okay, okay! Something happened?”

        I raise an eyebrow. “Did this something happen with my brother?”

        She turns red and I get the answer I needed. Candy looks down at the floor of the hallway we are now in. “No! No—okay, yeah. Don’t get mad, okay?”

        Rolling my eyes, I take her wrist and drag her to homeroom. A couple people stare at me and some even wave but I focus on getting what happened with Brent and her out of Candy. I sit her down in her seat and sit across from her. “Spill.”

        Her excited face calms to a soft smile and it’s like the rainbow after a raging storm. She picks at her skirt. “We kissed.”

        “Kissed?” My eyes almost pop out. I had expected maybe asking each other out or something but they had already advanced to a kiss? Well, Brent isn’t the flowers and date nights type kind of guy. Was I the only one that didn’t advance as fast as other couples? But then I remember Lee’s lingering kisses on my legs and quickly realize I might not be as innocent as I think.

        Candy beams and then her smile transforms to a frown. “I don’t know if it was real, though. We were both kind of drunk and it was real for me, but I don’t know if Brent feels the same.” She suddenly collapses on her desk, hiding her face under her arms. “Damn it! And now I won’t see him for a long time.”

        My phone chimes at that instant: Sorry but my flight leaves in an hour. Everything after is a little pricey for Florida. Summer’s startin lol

        I look at the text again and then back at the sulking Candy in front of me. My gears start moving and I try to contain my evil grin. “Candy, Brent just texted me. His flight leaves in an hour. Now, tell me. Do you want this to happen bad enough or not?”

        She looks up from her bangs and bites her lip. “I…I don’t know.” Candy looks down and suddenly snaps up straight. “Yes. Yes! I want this to happen. That kiss…it was like universe-calling, you know?”

        I roll my eyes. “Okay, Shakespeare. Quit the poetic shit, let’s go.”

        “Go?”

        “Yeah, don’t you want to tell Brent something?”

        “But, school?” Candy is looking from me to the front of the class. Mr. Hopkins isn’t in yet and attendance hasn’t been filled. Not that many kids are around so nobody will notice Candy is gone. Maybe they’ll rat me out but not Candy.

        “We're graduating in two weeks and school is stupid. I skipped a whole week, I can skip another day,” I say, standing. I push my bag strap on my shoulder and wait for her to get up.

        When we’re running down the hallways, kids barely acknowledging us, Candy mentions, “Isn’t that the exact reason you should go back to school today?”

❧

The airport is busy, crowded, and hot. As soon as we pull into the garage parking and head out of my car, a blast of warm air sets onto my skin. I can feel myself sweating already and I’ve barely done anything. Candy and I jog to the terminals and near the one my brother is supposed to be. He could’ve left already and all of this could be for nothing but at least Candy would wake up tomorrow knowing she tried.

            “You think he’s still here?” she asks as her head darts from left to right looking for any shine of blond hair that rightfully belongs to my brother. It’s hard because everyone is hustling around and getting onto their flights for summer vacations or whatever.

            “Let’s keep looking,” I suggest, jogging down more to the left. I stand on my tip toes to run my eyes over the line of people going through security.

            “There he is!” Candy says to me. She points to a blond head just about to reach security. Brent is there, carrying a backpack and about to take off his shoes.

            “What are you doing here then? Go get him!”

            She looks to me and her eyebrows furrow, her lips into a frown. “I…Will this be a good idea, Ivory?”

            I know I shouldn’t push her but sometimes people are just waiting for that nudge that’ll lead them somewhere. It might not be the right place but at least it’s somewhere. And if it’s not the right place, she can go find the right place.

            "Go,” I say. The one word charges her and her face changes, constricting into a serious girl-about-to-finally-confess-her-feelings look. If I hadn’t known better, she almost looks like she’s going to bulldoze a billion people over. She starts jogging and then changes to a full on sprint towards where Brent is.

            I don’t hear much but I try to move around bustling people and catch a glimpse of Candy’s mouth rapidly moving. She’s talking too fast but Brent’s face is blank. He looks shell shocked. His color is fading from his face and I see him moving aside from the line so he isn’t holding people up. Brent drops his suitcase and Candy is raising her hands in the air now, almost yelling. He gulps and she finishes, crossing her arms. And then she leaps into him, tugging him close and she kisses him.

            My mouth drops to the ground.

            Candy has balls.

            Not only did she just confess her love to my brother before he was going to leave, she makes a scene and kisses him right there in this airport.

            I knew we were meant to be best friends for each other. We have a habit of sweeping guys off their feet by surprise kisses in very public outings.

            I see Brent responding and then I smile and turn on my heel. I don’t need to see more to know what’s going to happen. Candy finally did what she’s been planning since she laid eyes on my brother and all that ambition and courage paid off.

            My stomach grumbles from it’s lack of food since I didn’t get to finish my cereal this morning and so I walk towards the small restaurants and food chain places in the airport. I pass by a seafood place and come upon a small cafe that leaves the smell of coffee beans in the air.

            There’s seats outside the cafe itself and has flowers set up near the tables out. It’s silly because we’re inside but cute anyways.

            I see a mom trying to feed all three of her children and failing miserably, a man sipping his coffee and reading the paper, a young woman typing away on a laptop. I walk inside to go get myself some good old tea.

            “Can I get iced tea?” I ask the woman at the counter. Her red hair is at a loose bun on her head and she is wearing a brown company apron.

            “Sure thing,” she murmurs, already heading back to fix my tea up. It takes her a few swipes of her hand and a few machines and seconds before she hands me back my cold, iced tea. I give her some bills and thank her before heading out.

            I guess I can walk around before going to go check up on Candy now. I’m sure Brent won’t be leaving too soon now. They’re probably going to talk now and I should give her enough alone time for that. I walk out of the cafe and decide maybe to sit at one of the outside tables with the nice flowers.

            And then I gasp and almost drop my chilling tea.

            “Lee?” It’s always a surprise to see him.

            The young man that was reading the paper and drinking his coffee is Lee. He has his long legs out in front of him and he sits back into his seat, eyes focused on the paper. Lee’s wearing glasses and I’m confused because he’s never worn glasses before. But more than that, I’m confused because isn’t he supposed to be in Boston? I guess he knows that too because his eyes widen when they lay on me.

            “Busted,” I mutter, annoyed he lied. I pull out the chair across from him angrily and take a seat. “So, this is Boston, huh?”

            All the thoughts of Lee and Penny together swarm my mind. Could it actually be true that he’s been seeing her on the side? No. I push the stupid thoughts away. I need to let him explain first.

            Lee straightens, pulling his relaxed legs to under the table. He sits straighter and says, “Ivory, what’re you doing here?”

            “That’s what I’d like to know,” I say, sipping my tea. It cools my anger a little and the heat. “What are you doing here, Lee? Were you even in Boston?”

            His mouth opens and then shuts. His eyebrows pinch together and he looks down, conflicted on what to say. What’s he hiding? “I can explain.”

            I lean back. “I have time.”

            “Don’t be mad but I promise I didn’t technically lie to you. I was in Boston. I just returned an hour ago actually—finished work early,” he explains.

            “Thanks for the update, by the way. I love it when you call me,” I say, sarcasm dripping through my words. He hasn’t called or even told me anything yesterday or today.

            “I…just…I have something to take care of…alone,” he says, his voice dropping in volume.

            I feel my body tense. Did he find out about Penny? Or has he known all along and just wanted to see the mother of his child without me knowing?

            “Is it Penny?” I say. I don’t want to beat around the bush.

            Lee’s eyes pan up to me, confused. “Penny?”

            I look down, embarrassed. I drink some tea. “Nevermind.”

            “What about Penny?”

            “So what do you have to take care of so alone?” I ask, changing the subject. I don’t think I want him to leave me just yet. Can’t I be selfish for a little longer? Eventually, things will go the way they have to. I just want to feel his kiss on my skin, feel his arms around my waist, feel him even if it’s one last time.

                    “It’s...um,” Lee says, looking flustered. It’s strange seeing him like this. I haven’t seen much of this side to him. “It’s my father’s death anniversary.”

            It feels like I’ve been slapped. It feels mortifying. I want to slap myself in fact. It’s his father’s death anniversary and here I am, accusing him of things he probably doesn’t even have anything to do with in my head. There are things bigger in life than stupid relationships. I’ve been pinning things on him while he’s been suffering from the date his father died. I feel horrible and disgusted with myself.

            “Oh,” is all I can muster. I sip my drink quietly for the next few minutes.

            “And I kind of need to go alone,” Lee says, sipping his coffee himself. He’s frowning and he tries to smile but can’t force himself to. “Please don’t misunderstand. It’s just something I have to—”

            I put my hand up, stopping him. And then I reach over the table and place my hand on top of his. He responds and switches our hands so that he’s on top and he gives my hand a squeeze. “I understand.” I pull his hand in both of mine and lean in, kissing his knuckles once. “You don’t have to explain your reasons.”

            I get it. I have the same issue with my father. His death and his absence in my life kind of left a dent in me and sometimes to fix that dent, I need time alone to myself. To do things by myself to bring closure to me. The closure still hasn’t come. I still can’t believe he’s dead, it feels like he isn’t, but I understand what Lee is getting at.

            “I…don’t?” Lee’s eyebrows raise and then pinch together in confusion. He tilts his head to the right and it makes my heartbeat flutter. His head tilt is my soft spot.

            “No, baby,” I say, kissing his closed fist so it relaxes. “I get it. Some things in this world, we have to do alone.”

            His eyes slightly widen at my use of calling him his favorite nickname. I’ve never called him that, I think. Lee’s mouth stretches to a lazy grin. “I fucking love you.” And then he’s over the table, leaning so far so he can kiss me. Our lips touch and mold and shape around each other’s and his hand is at the base of my neck, sending shivers down my spine when it’s almost eighty-five degrees outside. I swear to god I was overheating a couple seconds ago and now all I can feel is him.

            “I…love you…too,” I say between breaths because Lee is ruthless in this kiss, never leaving me time to breathe. I move away so I can breathe but he starts kissing my jaw. My cheeks get warm and I shove him a little. “Cut it out, we’re in a public place!” I whisper shout.

            He sits back in his seat, breathing as hard as I am. He leans back, crossing his legs and a smirk taking over his face. “So?”

    “So?” My eyes almost fall out. “Jesus, we have enough people staring.”

            Lee turns his head and catches the eye of the mom a few tables down with a shocked face and covering the eyes of her three children the best she can. People passing by are staring too, some smiling, others not. He turns his head back to me and he grins playfully. “I told you many times, Ivory, my name is Lee, not Jesus.”

            And now I’m ready to fall through the floor. Is he trying to remind me of the night on my birthday? My mouth opens and closes and I stumble for words. “Uh, um, er.”

            “Do I need to remind you again?” he says, smirking. “Do I need to let the whole world hear you say my name?”

            I stand abruptly, almost tipping over the table. “Uh, I, I should go, ha-ha.”

            He stands too, towering over me. He walks over and gently places my face between his hands. His blue eyes shine down at me and he grins. “Don’t miss me too much.” Lee leans in and kisses between my eyebrows once before kissing my chin.

            I try to look angry, scrunching my eyebrows. “I won’t!”

            Lee chuckles and leans in, kissing the corner of my mouth swiftly. “I’ll miss you, too, Ivory.” He moves strands of hair out of my face.

            “Suck it, Lee!” I say, trying to move away from his grip. I succeed for a while and am walking away before he holds my hand and pulls me back into his arms.

            “Not so fast,” he says, holding me with both hands on the waist. He pulls me against him and kisses me so hard I almost fall back but feel his hand securing me on my back so I don’t. He pulls back, grinning and kisses my nose before releasing me.

            My eyes blink fast and I try to find words but I’m like a fish on dry land, just jumping around for oxygen when I’m obviously going to die. Just like how Lee will be the death of me. “I…Bye, Lee!” I need to go before we end up kissing all day in the middle of an airport cafe with a mom and her kids watching.

            I turn back once and I see Lee watching me. He pulls his hand up and waves, grinning. The motion unwinds me. He looks so young and happy and just to know that I’m doing that and not Penny or some other fancy girl makes my heart melt. I run back and give him a quick kiss on the lips. “Last one.”

                And then I realize this is what I do it for. I feel nineteen with him. I feel like how any teenager feel about their first serious love or boyfriend. Everything else doesn't matter when he kisses me. Everything else I can work through and keep on pushing.

            “Whatever you say,” he replies, a smug grin on his face.

            I kiss him again.

            “Thought that was your last one?” he says, smirking.

            This time, I kiss his jaw and back away before I can’t get away. “I lied.”

                                        it's so strange to see that i have thirty-three chapters already on this story, wow. it's my first story that's reached that far, i think. anyways, i know you guys think that penny being pregnant is the storm i'm talking about but...sorry, there's more. (evil grin)

        sorry for slow updates, school is right around the corner and i've been procrastinating last minute work needed for school and sports and ugh i'm already sweating&stressing kill me but ily guys and thank you for everything! keep voting and commenting, i love reading them. ♥

and song on the side is kind of Lee and Ivory and i added it bc they were in a coffee shop and they're in love aND I JUST LIKE THE SONG OK

and go check out a fan-fic called "Criminals" (secretly smiles) the link will be in the external link to the side!