Chapter Sixty-One

Everything should have been different. I like to think about what my life would have been like if I had never met Lee. I wonder how much chaos would have been taken out of the equation. The past year has been a whirlwind of sheer happiness, horrific pain, and me losing absolutely everything I had. If I had never met him....

But that's not fair.

Lee and the introduction to this new fast life—it was only a catalyst. My life had always been a lie. My own lie only unlocked the hidden secrets my mother kept from me my entire life. The truth about my father, our family. My true bloodline...Madam Jin.

Then, that makes me wonder of the life that I was born into. The life that also would have been mine.

Growing up, I would never have had to worry about a thing. My family would have been an empire of wealth. How many butlers would I have had? Would I have known how to cook or wash dishes as Lee didn't growing up? I would have grown up beautiful and safe. There would be no pain, no absence of my father, and a simple life.

When I would have gotten older, I would have eventually met Mark and Lee through business eventually. Maybe they would have been my childhood friends, slowly developing into my first love. I would have fallen for Lee normally. How many balls and galas would we have danced at? Would I have caught his attention then? Would I have been there for his father's death and everything in between? I would have been his fiance, not Penny.

It's crazy how fate led us here.

How one lie that slipped from my lips in a moment of jealousy and anger in high school...completely unraveled the reality of my life and led me to where and who it began with.

One way or another, Lee and I would have met. It was only a matter of time.

But I wonder, in this life, in this situation—How will I live through this pain?

Beep. Beep. Beep.

A low murmuring of voices interrupts my thoughts.

Waking up after a deep sleep or a realistic dream is always so strange. It feels like your soul, having had ran away from your body, realigns with your physical body and as your eyes slowly begin to peep open, everything shifts back into place once again. Reality is a startling alarm.

My eyes feel heavy when one eye cracks open, eventually two. The lights are too bright. I wish someone would shut them off. The voices continue, though I do not recognize who or if I even care. When both of my eyes adjust to the light, to the room, I am not surprised to find myself staring at fluorescent lights and to the septic smell of a hospital. Been here too many times.

Without moving a limb, my eyes scan the room before landing on the voices.

It's a woman in a white coat talking to two nurses in blue scrubs.

I have questions, many questions, and possibly a sliver of panic. My mouth opens but I can only feel the cracked skin on my dry lips and the lack of any liquid in my mouth, automatically making my voice simply a soft croak. My throat hurts.

"Excuse me" I try to say but it comes out as broken air. Why am I trying to be polite right now? I just woke up in a hospital bed with absolutely no recollection to how I got here and with no one I trust around me. I move an inch of my hand and my index finger has a contraption that's monitoring my heart rate.

Moving my arm itself feels like the heaviest thing in the world. I push through. I need to get their attention. Slowly, I am able to move it better and I bang my index finger against the metal railings surrounding the first half of the bed. I begin to tap it strongly.

Heads begin to turn with widening eyes and the doctor and nurses rush over to me.

They start speaking and I am so busy trying to speak that I don't listen to what they are saying. Immediately, the nurses run to each of my side checking the machines around me and begin checking my eyes with a light. They scramble for a couple minutes, checking all of the logistical parts of me. The doctor says something and they step back.

The doctor moves closer to me, sticking her face closer to mine as she leans over me. Her eyes are hazel, her hair dark and curly in the way that my own hair looks when it's humid and raining out. The wrinkles around her eyes and mouth soften her appearance and she makes me want to trust her.

"Hello, Ivory," she speaks, her voice deeper and older. Her voice reminds me of my own mother's. For some reason, the thought of my mother brings me a hot striking pain to my heart. I open my mouth to respond. "Don't speak," she instructs. "You need water first and don't strain yourself in general. Just nod. Okay?" She waits until I nod. "Can you drink some water for me?"

I nod again.

One of the nurses brings me a tiny plastic hospital cup and she pours water from a pitcher near my bedside. I try to stand up, but I can't. In return, the nurse presses her hand to the back of my head to lift me slightly up to the cup. I open my mouth and she slowly pours. The first gulp almost hurts, as if the dryness of my throat scratches upon itself. Eventually, the cool water feels like the best thing in the world and I keep nodding for more cups.

"How do you feel?" the doctor asks, her coat reads Katya Holman M.D.

I nod because I do feel better.

"Okay," Doctor Holman says, sighing in relief. "I know you must be very confused right now. You must be in some pain. Let me explain everything slowly, okay?"

Another nod.

"Alright." She pulls a chair nearby and sits by my bed, making us leveled. This is definitely some psychological training to make me more comfortable. It's working. "You have two broken ribs. Fractured wrist. Some internal bleeding that we've taken care of. Many, many bruises. And god knows how much trauma."

I smile, almost laughing at the joke but then I realize how messed up my body and mind is currently. I feel overwhelmed suddenly, trying to piece back my memories. I'm trying to remember coming into the city. Lee's birthday party. The news about my mother. It all happened so extremely fast. What exactly happened?

The machine next to me begins to make a loud, annoying noise as it beeps nonstop. Along with it, without my realization, my heart had begun to pound against my chest. Sweat suddenly seemed to be on my forehead. The room is small, too small. I just want to disappear. Nurses re-enter the room, looking frantic.

"Ivory," Holman says. "Ivory. Don't overwork yourself. Please focus on my voice. Listen to my voice." She

standing, trying to work with the machines. "You are having a panic attack. Please follow my voice. Listen to what I am saying." She holds my hand. "Deep breaths. Deep breaths. You've been through a lot. You're okay. You're safe. We are going to take it day by day."

I try to breathe, I really do. Everything just feels suffocating. I've never felt this in such an intensity. Every thought propels me into the next scary one.

"Count to ten. Slowly."

I do. 10, 9, 8...

"Breathe. Breathe."

7, 6, 5...4...3...2...1.

The numbers are tangible to me, like I can hook myself to the cliff I'm slipping so quickly off of. It's okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'll figure out everything slowly.

A nurse feeds me water again. After gulps of water and a few minutes, Holman tells me everything that happened slowly. And then it all unravels...

Lee had been keeping Victor waiting so that when they had their phone call, it would be long enough to be tracked. I remember being tasered and kicked and hit. With Madam Jin, Lee, and Mark's power and force, we were able to have a covert team come after me. Nothing that would set Victor off, nothing that would make headlines—no cops, no press.

I've been unconscious for three days. I was held for two days.

The room starts to faze out and though I can see Doctor Holman talking, words probably forming about procedures and protocols that I have to go through. It all fades. My brain feels unable to control itself with the thoughts that come my way. How has my life transformed completely in the last year?

My heart squeezes thinking about my mother. I think about the simple mornings I used to have. Slipping out of the door probably late to spend a day of hell at high school, probably reminding my mother to not forget to eat while she sat in her art office, happy as can be. I think about Karen and Peter, people that used to mean so much back in the day. At first, as a friend and a crush, but even as enemies. I want to laugh at how absolutely small that seems now.

I think about the first time I met Lee. Slowly over time, his rigid facade as a cold, rude businessman unraveled to show a boy who was forced to grow up too fast and grew up lonely. His sweet voice, the way he held me when we danced, and my first love. My real first love. I think about Mark and whatever that was. He ended up being a good friend. I think about everything going wrong—losing my mother, losing Lee, and the worst was...

I lost myself.

Who have I been for the past year and a half?

Do I even know? Do I like how I've let myself become?

I can almost smell the alcohol on my breath from winter break. I ran away from myself, from reality. Daniel...he was just a lifeline. I thought if I kept throwing myself into things or away from things, I would be okay. But I wasn't okay. I'm still not okay.

I start thinking about my father, about everything again...the same cycle in my head. Instead, I decide to return to the present.

I need to focus on what is happening now before I try to solve everything else.

"Is there anything I can do for you right now?" Doctor Holman asks.

I shake my head. She nods, adjusts my IV, and checks on everything as she scribbles it down in her notepad. After, she leaves and as soon as the door closes shut, I feel my tears slide down my cheek. I pull the blanket above me until it reaches my chin and I fall asleep.

When I wake up, I know I've dreamt of something terrible. There's a heavy feeling in my chest and fragments of twisted feelings. Regardless, my eyes focus on the fluorescent lights on the ceiling. There is an orange light pouring into the room, rays of the setting sun. When I come to, I feel much clearer than earlier with Doctor Holman.

"Ivory, jesus fucking christ! I never thought you'd wake up!" The voice immediately warms my heart. I start sitting up and Brent's annoying face is staring at me. I missed him so much.

"Brent!" I say excitedly, but it comes out more like a croak. He speeds over and engulfs me in a hug. Pain immediately shoots up from everywhere. I feel like a walking bruise. "OW!"

He doesn't even register my pain and just hugs me tighter until he pulls away. I am ready to yell at him but his face is blotchy and his eyes red, tears pooling out. Brent just stares at me and his tears intensify until he is sobbing. "Ivory, w-what the f-fuck?" He wipes his eyes as fast as he can with his sleeves.

This must be absolutely shocking for Brent. I'm crying before I can even say anything, the sight of him in such heartbreak and pain consuming my heart already.

I sit up and even though it hurts, I know we both just need a hug. Opening my arms, Brent continues to sob as he hugs me. Soon, my already swollen eyes begin to irritate with tears. We hold each other tight, no words able to even process what's happened. Where to go from here. But we have each other and it's the one thing grounding me right now.

"I'm glad I have you," Brent says, voice breaking in my shoulder.

"Me too."

I think we might have hugged and cried for thirty minutes straight. My mouth feels dry when we pull away. Brent stands, fetching us glasses of water near my bedside on a table. While he pours the first cup, he stops mid-pour and sighs. "We're going to be okay, Ivory."

For some reason, this statement, seeing Brent the way he is, I believe it. Brent, who has always been irresponsible and unaware of himself in the world around him. Brent, whose life primarily consisted of Mom, me, and his frat brothers. Hearing him be vulnerable and hopeful at the same time, it felt like a hand pulling me out of drowning water. For so long, I never reached out for help. From my own brothers, from people that cared about me.

I try not to cry again. "I love you, Brent. Thank you for being here."

He smiles, continuing to pour the cups. He hands me one and sits at the edge of my bed. "I will take a semester off. I have some money saved from working at school. I know we had insurance and I am going to reach out to whoever I can to figure this all out, okay?"

"Okay."

"Whatever it takes, Ivory," he says. "You need to heal. You've been through so much and I'm sure this is barely the start. But whatever is next, we can do it together. Us two."

Suddenly, the image of my father flashes through my head. "Brent. Wait, where's our father?" I start trying to make sense of everyone and where they could be, now that I'm out of my own head. "Where's Lee? Madam Jin?"

Brent sighs. "First of all, we don't even know if this dude is our father. I know you trust Lee and you trust these people that you've literally just met, but so much is happening that I need to be cautious. We need to be cautious." He pinches between his eyebrows trying to bring his thoughts together. "We're on our own now," he adds in a defeated voice.

"Yes, of course," I agree. "But I've known these people and they truly have been so supportive while I've been on my own. We should be cautious, but what if he is our dad? What else could explain all of this craziness?"

Brent's face doesn't shift at all. It's still and serious and I can tell he's waging a war in his head on what to do—what's the right thing to do? "Okay, but we'll worry about that after you're healed. Let's not jump that high yet." An alarm starts ringing from his phone. Brent peers at his phone, eyebrows furrowing. "Okay, I have to go meet with an accountant really quick to see what needs to happen next as of right now."

"Do you need me to do anything?" I ask.

He grabs his coat from a chair. "Stay here. Do not get up and do not push your body, okay?" I nod. He pauses at the door. "By the way, the entire floor is blocked off from the public so if you need anything, there's a team here to help you and only you. I still don't trust Lee or everyone involved, but I guess he's useful. One less thing to stress about."

My eyebrows raise. "And...where is he?" I try to not sound too eager.

"He's outside. He kind of has a broken hand or something because he punched that dude who had you. Glad he got some punches in," Brent says calmly. "But stay here, okay? That idiot has been here since you've been here and I bet he'll be here when you leave too."

I have so many questions. Is Lee okay? What else am I missing?

"Call your friends, they've all been trying to reach you or see you, but again, we're not letting anyone in because of what happened. Just let them know you're okay."

"Yes, okay," I say, though my mind is spinning trying to organize what to do. I think of Daniel. Fuck. I think of Giselle, Tanner, and Candy. "Don't worry about me. And thank you."

"No problem, kid," Brent says, shutting the door behind him. For a second as the door shuts, I see two security guards standing outside of my door. Shit. I'll never understand how Lee just can hire people to do anything.

With the door shut, I already know I'm not going to listen to Brent. I find myself annoying for not being more careful about my own body, but I just slept and I am wide awake. Also, I haven't seen anyone in days, not even including when I was held hostage. I just want to share my gratitude and thank Lee.

I rip the blanket off of me. I am careful not to move too fast, eyes watching the IV in my arm and not stressing my ribs or fractured wrist. The fractured wrist is in a sling and I am dressed in a typical, hideous hospital gown. There is no mirror in the room and I can't imagine what I must look or smell like. Despite this, I find my feet and land on the ground.

The landing causes pain to strike through my body. I squeeze my eyes and count to ten. Guess Doctor Holman taught me a new trick to ease my pain.

When the pain dissipates, I use my open arm to wheel my IV bag with me. I feel like an old woman and not like a young woman as I wheel the IV bag and walk slowly towards the door. The guards both eye me when I open the door.

"I'm fine," I say before they can speak. "Don't alarm anyone."

They look skeptical but I am already hobbling away. I imagined them just accepting my words, but instead, they speak into their ear piece and four guards stand in front of me.

"We're sorry, miss. We were ordered to not let you out or let anyone but family and doctors in," a tall man with a beard says.

"Yes, but I'm fine! I just want to walk around. Is that a crime?" I ask. "Isn't the floor empty?" Ah, yes, I sound like a child.

"Sorry, mam. You must return to your bed." Yes, now I feel like a child too.

I peak and look around. The hallway leads somewhere behind me too. "Fine," I say. "I'll go."

"Thank you."

I turn around, but instead of going sideways into my room, I start running down the hallway. In reality, I think I barely make it two steps before the guards surround me. I hobbled as fast as I could, but it seems it led me nowhere.

"Miss, please," the guard says.

"Leave her be."

For some reason, my heart squeezes in absolute fear and anxiety. It's Lee, but I can't turn around. I can't function. I stand, frozen and unsure what to do.

"Yes, sir." The guards stand back and return to their formal positions on the floor.

I still haven't turned. I hear steps across the sterile hospital floor. Before I see him, I smell his cologne and the smell transports me to a million memories before this moment.

"Ivory, what do you think you're doing?"

And then, he's in front of me. Every time I see him, it feels so different. There's just so much of my heart coming out before me, spilling everywhere, when I see him. Every time, so much time has passed and so much has changed. My life seems to drastically change from every interval we've met. We both feel so different as well. I recognize him and he's a stranger altogether.

Lee stands tall in front of me. He's not wearing a suit. He's in a dark blue knit sweater and his arm is in a sling as well. There's a purple bruise and cut on the side of his bottom lip. His hair is free from the usual slick, messy and hanging on his forehead, a bit curly. "Ivory?" he asks and my name fits so fucking well when he says it.

I can't think, I don't think—I just run right into him and hug him.

My IV pole falls.

--

Yes, it's true, I am writing! Gasp. Okay, now, I need to go write my two essays due tomorrow, RIP. 

If you want a free view of the next chapter, put this link in your browser or go press the link in my Wattpad profile! I've also attached it as an external link. Here it is:  https://inkitt.app.link/RA_hellovirgo

Other than that, expect the next chapter "soon"! :) 

Thank you. Always! xoxo