Chapter Fifty-Four

"He's your what?"

          "My boyfriend." The words sound foreign coming out of my mouth.

         "Hey, I'd love introductions, but do you think you could these guys off of me first?" Daniel pitches in, giving a dirty look as he yanks his arm away from the guards.

          I turn and give a look to Lee, whose eyebrows are furrowed, trying to process my words as if they're impossible. Regardless, he gives a nod to the guards and they let Daniel go reluctantly. They talk into their ear pierce and shut the door behind them when they leave.

             As soon as the door shuts, I wish they hadn't. It's as if the air in the room gets sucked out.

           Daniel rubs his arms as if to shrug off the pain from the harsh grips. His gaze catches mine and he suddenly walks up to me, one arm slipping around my waist and the other holding my face. It's as if I'm the only person in the world and even if his idol is right there, I'm top priority. "Hey, is everything alright? What did the doctors say?"

             I see a movement in the corner of my eye as if Lee has flinched. I pretend I don't see it and press a hand on Daniel's chest to reassure him. "I just got here myself. I'm too scared to see. I don't know anything, yet."

           Now, Daniel looks confused. He looks from me to Lee, as if trying to connect the dots. But he'd never guess that Lee and I could possibly be together. Well, had been. "Why is the Lee Richardson in here?" he whispers to me. By his flickering eyes that go back and forth catching a glimpse at Lee, I can tell Daniel is trying very hard not to freak out...as if he is a seven year old little boy who has just ruin into his favorite superhero.

           "Uh...it's complicated," I respond. I take his hand from my cheek and walk him over to Lee. Out of all the things in the world when I got that phone call about my mother, this is the one situation I never would have guessed or imagined. "Lee, this is my boyfriend, Daniel. Daniel, this is...Lee...he's, er, he's friends with my brother."

            As soon as it's out of my mouth, I am close to punching myself in the face. Why can't I ever just tell the truth? Is it that hard? Now when Daniel finds out the truth, it'll just cause ripples in our relationship.

           "Brent?" Daniel asks. He's heard all about Brent, about my entire life between our frequent dates and late night phone calls. But, there's just one tiny fraction of my life that hasn't been exposed. Harmless. The articles and evidence from when I first told the media Lee was my boyfriend had all been taken down since I was a minor at the time and Lee's publicists had made sure no more articles of Lee and I existed since it would harm his company and his rumoured engagement with Penny. But that doesn't mean it'll never come out again.

        "Uh, yes. They met at some club or something in the city before my brother went off to college," I explain as the lies topple up. "Ever since, my brother's asked him to stand in place when he isn't here. That's why he's here. Nothing else."

      Lee's face is unreadable. One hand is gripping the table next to him so hard his knuckles turn white while his eyes seem darker than they were minutes ago. His jaw sticks out as he clenches his teeth. Is he angry I'm lying? I'm not ready to just tell my boyfriend so suddenly about him. Slowly, one day, yes. But now? Of all times? It's one less problem.

        "That is insane," Daniel says, rubbing the stubble on his chin as he thinks. His hair is a little messy from running and the jumping out of bed to come with me, but he still looks handsome. He grins suddenly and stretches out his hand. "It's honestly such an honor to meet you, Lee. I've always looked up to you since you single handedly ran your father's company. I hate that I'm meeting you under such dire conditions."

          Lee stares at his outstretched hand and then Daniel's face. All of a sudden his face changes from angry and hurt to a stone cold, blank expression. And then he cocks his head to one side and...smirks. Not in the nice, hello-nice-to-meet-you-too way either. It's as if he's reverted to the Lee he was a year ago when I first met him. Cool, sly, arrogant. Prince of the world. I start to inwardly panic when a few awkwardly silent moments pass.

         I grab Daniel's outstretched hand and hold it in both of my own. "You can chat later. Daniel, could you go see what the doctors have to say? If I can even go near my mother right now or what? Just everything I need to know?"

        Daniel is hesitant for a while but when I make a face, he nods and steps out the door.

        "What the hell was that?" I demand from Lee, turning to him angrily and stepping closer.

         "What was what?" Lee crosses his arms and averts his eyes, his jaw still clenched. It's exactly as if I was standing next to him a year ago. Next to an insanely frustrating, annoying, haughty man that could care less and was cold to the bone. But I know better.

            "That was incredibly rude. Daniel has been nothing but nice to you," I point out. "You're the one who's not even supposed to be here in the first place."

         He scoffs. "Oh, is that how you feel?"

          "Yes!" I say. "Why are you acting like such a...dick?"

            "Well, hm, I don't know, Ivory. Maybe because you started dating one!" he replies, his voice more angry than I expected. He barely knows Daniel! Wait a minute, he has the nerve to be mad at me?

            I jab a finger on his chest and walk closer until he starts backing up. "You listen to me. How dare you get angry because I moved on? How dare you act all jealous and petty? Especially when my mother is right there and I have no idea what's happening to her and I—this is not the time! I told you then and I'll tell you now. I would've gone to the ends of the universe for you. And you threw all that away by giving into your stupid feelings of doubt just like you're getting caught up in your stupid feelings of jealousy now! So don't you dare try to act angry with me, Lee Richardson. I had never given you any less than all of me. So, screw you!"

          Instead of changing any expression as I talk, his jaw seems to clench more and more. The creases between his eyebrows grow and when I'm done speaking, I have pushed him into the corner with his back on the wall. We're both firecrackers right now about to explode.

            Suddenly, I'm pressed to the wall and he's the one yelling at me as he swiftly shifts our positions.

          His hands are pressed up by my head on the wall as if he's leaning on the wall to keep his anger in check. "Can you blame me, Ivory? My entire life, people have always needed me for something, but never needed me—just me. My money, status, fame, whatever. You were different but of course, I'm going to have doubts. I'm human! I was just basing it off the facts and how I've lived for all my life. You were the one person in the world I told all my secrets to. It didn't make sense to me either and it still doesn't! I wasn't trying to hurt you."

           My vision begins to fog as tears well up and stream down my face. "It's a little too late for that."

          His expression falters as he sees tears running down my face. A look of pain spreads across his face. I feel his arms tightening and curling into fists. He looks down, sighs, and then straightens up, pulling his hands away from the sides of my head. I think he'll move away, but he doesn't. He presses his hand on my cheek, his thumb wiping away the tears. "Consider us even then." I don't like the resigned look on his face. The sad, blue eyes. "I've hurt you immensely by not trusting you...and you've moved on from me as if I was nothing."

           "Lee—" He pulls away and before I can blink, he's out of the room and a bunch of doctors rush in with Daniel shortly behind them. How can his touch be so gentle but his words so harsh?

          I quickly wipe away any remaining tears and straighten up myself, putting on a brave face as I listen to the doctors. My mind is still lingering on what just happened. But I need to focus. This is my mother. Lee can wait, no matter how distracting he can be.

           How did it get like this? I knew we wouldn't work out, probably straight from the beginning. And when Penny got pregnant and rumors were flying, it wasn't hard to realize we were going to have to end whatever we had. But there was still some sort of tiny hope in me. It would somehow get fixed. His company, his lifestyle, his reputation—it wouldn't matter. Because we loved each other. And it would be enough.

           I never would have imagined this. I never would have imagined his past almost getting leaked. I never could've seen my mother being in a coma. Madam Jin's story about my mother and who I supposedly was. I never would've imagined that the only pair of arms I'd be enclosed in would be Daniel's. Everything feels like it's going wrong. I know I'm lucky in many ways—at least Mom's not dead. Daniel is one of the sweetest guys ever. Madam Jin isn't some evil tycoon that could've just taken my mother away.

            I'm lucky in many ways. But why do I feel like...I did something wrong?

          Lee's the one getting engaged to someone. He's the one who's "moving on". He's back at the top of the market, stocks reigning. Once again, he's exactly where he's always been—at the top, with everything he could ever want. He's the one who truly ended us.

         I know I'm being whiny and selfish. I just want to blame it all on him, like it's his fault. But really, it was all doomed from the start. We were too different. Both of us are unhappy right now no matter how it looks. But I loved him. I really, really, really, loved him. I really did. I still do. And it just hurts. And I can't get over it. I thought I did.

A few weeks later, the doctors tell me my mother is not getting any better. That I should begin to look at Plan B. They didn't want to surgically clip the brain aneurysm since it isn't as safe as embolization, and definitely did not want to do it when I was states away in Boston. For that, I'm grateful. However, embolization isn't one hundred percent perfect and can lead to future ruptures. Since then, Mom's aneurysm has bled twice, the doctors say. Excessive bleeding can lead to disabilities or death. It doesn't look too good, they tell me.

           It took me a three-hour phone call to convince Brent not to fly over here. He can't risk his grades slipping or his football scholarship. Exams are coming up and I can study and make sure Mom is okay. That's what I told him anyway. What do I do when I can't make sure Mom is okay?

          Daniel is always at my side. After school, between classes, in the mornings—he's always bringing me a coffee or getting notes from some class. He slips in during visiting hours and makes sure I'm getting sleep. He doesn't mention the Lee incident, only that it was strange Lee left so abruptly. I lied and said he had business to attend to. I haven't mentioned or thought of Lee since then. Another lie.

            Madam Jin had rushed to the hospital shortly after I did the day after Thanksgiving. She's gotten international doctors to look at my mother, anyone with good credits. They all say the same thing that Mom's normal doctors do. Madam Jin looks more defeated than I am. If what she says is real, it would be that she found her daughter-in-law just to watch her slowly deteriorate.

       My entire life makes me want to crawl up in a hole and wake up from this terrible nightmare. I throw myself into my school work, going out of my way to stay up late to do assignments due in the far future. Anything to distract myself. Madam Jin offers to pay for some of my tuition and medical bills. For a long time, I'm strictly against it. It would be cruel if I did that. We might not even be related—it could all be a misunderstanding. But I am drowning in responsibilities and one day, I agree. Can you blame me? Tuition is stressful and expensive.

         I'm sitting on the sofa in Mom's hospital room. I'm almost never at the dorm anymore. Giselle, being the best roommate ever, frequently visits me and brings me food from our favorite Indian place. Sometimes, she drags me out on Saturday nights, claiming I need to relax. She's also created a group message including herself, Daniel, Tanner, Jess, and Suzy. I'm so grateful that I've finally found such a supportive group of friends who constantly message me to stay strong and that they're there for me, even when I'm almost never there in general.

         Bing!

        I put down the book for my english class and check my phone from a message from the group. Yo, let's hit up some place tonight! The tongue-out emoji follows right behind Tanner's text.

          Can't. I have work at the firm, Giselle texts back. She wants to be a lawyer and works as a temp at some law firm downtown. She doesn't get to do much but she claims the experience is all she wants. Meanwhile, I have no idea what or where to go into. Every time I think about it, my mind thinks in circles and it only makes me even more lost and confused than before.

          It seems as if everyone else seems to be getting their lives together. Now that high school is over, everyone is falling into their places. Even Peter—who called the other day! Karen seems to be going into fashion based off her posts on instagram lately and Candy's been determined to go into medical since she could breathe. It's just me who's lost. I know more than half the student body is confused too...but it still just sucks.

          The door handle begins to shake as a shadow looms over the blurred window.

          My eyes shoot to Mom who appears as she always does with her eyes peacefully closed and monitors surrounding her. I can feel my heart start to race and I grab a pencil nearby. As if that could be a strong weapon.

      "Oh, good afternoon, Ivory." It's Madam Jin.

      I sigh, relief flooding through my chest. I loosen my grip on the pencil and eventually let go, my hand going to my chest to feel my pulse. What am I doing? It's a hospital. There is security. I've been so one edge lately—about everything.

     "Why, you've never looked so happy to see me," she comments, setting down her coffee and yet another bouquet of flowers. She unwraps the flowers and changes the day old flowers from the vases in the room. She does this everyday as if the fresh flowers will stimulate my mother to wake up.

      I watch as she springs around the room in her royal purple, expensive coat and tiny kitten heels. "I've been strangely jumpy lately. I don't know"—I rub my neck—"maybe all that talk about my father and the whole dangerous part of it is getting to me." I look at Mom, the slow but steady beat of her heart in the background as her machine beeps. "Along with everything else, of course."

      Madam Jin stops taking off her coat and stares at me. ¨You're safe with me, Ivory, you know that. I would never let you get hurt again."

      I look at her face for a couple hesitant seconds before nodding. "I know." Some part of me believes in Madam Jin—the evidence, the fact that Dad never became a topic of conversation in the house, etc. This woman could be my grandmother. She's done so much already to make me feel comfortable. "Madam Jin?"

      "Yes?"

       "Thank you. For everything. I don't know how I'd handle all this without you."

         She's quiet for a few moments, rearranging one specific vase. When she turns, her eyes are brimming with tears that she is trying very hard not to spill. It's amazing how a few simple words of gratitude can stimulate tears in someone. It's so simple to make someone happy or feel appreciated. She smiles and replies, "No, thank you, dear. I have a family again."

      The DNA tests all added up. The evidence, footage, files. Everything Madam Jin had left for me in that folder was certified and made sense. But, still, it's not like I can just accept her into my life without problems. Just like any important family member returning to your life after months or years, they're supposed to be someone important, but how can you feel that when they've never been there?

         "Maybe...maybe we can go see a Broadway show together sometime?" I suggest. It's always been on my bucket list for Things to Do in New York and I could get to know Madam Jin better.

       Her smile shines through the room. "I'd...I'd really like that."

        For another hour or so, we sit in silence. We've worked our ways around each other. I do my school work or apply to jobs and she makes business calls or taps away on her phone. It's a situation I've become comfortable and used to. We begin to talk about the weather and how it is going to snow soon. The year is almost over.

          "Are you going to Lee's birthday party?"

        I stop mid-sentence as I type my paper. His birthday is coming up, too. That's right. December 28th. "Um...I don't think I'm going to be invited this year."

      Madam Jin tilts her head in confusion. Fortunately, Madam Jin and Daniel are never in the same room at once and I haven't introduced them to each other. I wouldn't even know what I would say. "I know you two must be going through a small patch or some sort but...the invitation is right here."

         I look up and she is holding up a card with gold accents. "What?"

        "The invitation. It's right here." She hands the thick card over to me.

          When I open it, it reads You're invited to the celebration for Lee Richardson's 22nd birthday on... I stop reading after that. I am more than confused. His birthday. Why...Why would he invite me? Our last acquaintance wasn't exactly civil. Besides...his birthday? That was the first time we really connected. The time I also thought I saw my father. Could there be a connection?

          "You should go. Bring that new boyfriend of yours," Madam Jin says, interrupting my questions.

          My eyebrows shoot up. She knows about Daniel. I nervously laugh and ask, "What boy?"

           Madam Jin shuts the laptop she had been typing off on and pulls off her glasses. "I'm not an idiot, Ivory. You think I don't see the boy who waits in the waiting area every time you have classes with double of whatever he is drinking or eating? Waiting for a special someone? I am not clueless."

           "I-I—" My cheeks heat up. "I didn't intend on hiding it from you. I just didn't want to ruin your happy image of Lee and I together and thinking that maybe one part of my life hasn't been completely unexpected."

            She smiles, clasping her hands together and leaning back in her chair. "Ivory. My happy image is whoever you are happy with. I know you and Lee have been on the outs. That is fine. But I know he is also a kind man and I just hope you get the chance to end things right. You never know when some day is the last day to tell someone something." Her smile fades as she remembers her own lesson.

        Her statement warms my heart. I wouldn't mind if she was my grandmother. Is this how it would feel?

       "Thank you," I tell her. "And you're right. I should go to his birthday at least. He did mean a lot to me and still does. Out of respect and the possibility of my father showing up again, I should go...right?"

          Madam Jin shrugs. "It is whatever you desire. You do not have to do anything."

        "I should, though," I repeat. "Right?"

          She just stares.

          "Right," I say and then decide that is what I am doing three days after Christmas. Wishing Lee Richardson a happy birthday. Wonderful.

I honestly should've posted this earlier. It's not a big chapter and I just want to get to the big parts but I have been--I know I rant every time--busy with SATs, AP exams, applications for summer programs and etc. This is quite literally the busiest year of my life. I have a college fair to attend to in 1 and a half hours and I have not even begun my Spanish presentation that is due tomorrow that needs to be 8-10 minutes in fluent Spanish with just memorization. Not to mention, a new job starting this week. I am stressed. You can say that. :) 

And then I want to keep up with my real passions like writing, vlogging, and keeping up with other projects but I literally have no time. I barely remember how it became Sunday or even May. I am exhausted. And then I got asked out Friday and I said yes after a week of realizing I couldn't avoid it like I do with everything unnecessary. I am absolutely heartless, but I'm going to give this "thing" a shot.

My heart is literally beating 200miles per second since this school year's begun. Summer is barely my break. I am completely falling apart. BUT I AM FINE. I can handle this. I will destroy this in a good way. I'm either panicking to the point of going psychotic or I am just a leaf in the wind. No in between.

Thank you for reading as always. Thank the stars, I have you guys. You always put a smile on my face when I read your comments or just realize you're still reading! COMMENT what you think of this chapter! Lee is back in the picture! Or is he?

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BY THE WAY! Prom was so L I T. It was amazing and beautiful and I danced like nobody was watching but it was fire. Should I post the prom video on youtube? It includes getting ready and just panicking and such, haha. You're probably rolling your eyes at how much I talk but if you want to know more about me, have a chat with me!