!Trigger warning!

~~~

Y/N'S BEEN thinking, and she's decided to swallow her pride, and talk to Draco- she didn't have the right to stop him from being friends with whoever he wants, anyways, because that's just wrong.

it was an early Sunday morning, and the Gryffindor was on her way down the dungeons, the sun was peaking through the huge windows, but when she reached the dungeons, it was just dark, the only thing that's giving light are the torches on the walls.

she had no idea why, but she felt a lump in her throat- probably just nervousness.

finally, Y/N reached the Slytherin common room entrance, it was a behind a bare wall, but then, she stopped, she didn't know the password, how will she get in?

just as she was about to turn around, and walk away, the entrance opened up, and there walked out Blaise, and as soon as he saw her, a smirk crept up his face, "Y/N," he said.

the girl looked away from the dark skinned boy, she remembered what happened yesterday in Hogsmeade, and she just couldn't- but he's a friend of Draco's, and she has to accept that. with a sigh, she asked, "Is Draco there?"

Zabini nodded, "In his room, still asleep," he said.

"Oh," said Y/N and backed away, "I'll just come back later-"

"It's alright, you can wake him up," Zabini said, pointing in the common room.

the girl shook her head, "I really don't want to disturb his sleep," she said, but Blaise only shook his head.

"You won't. besides, he told me to wake him up last night, but I just really need to be somewhere right now," 

at that, Y/N took a deep breath, and asked, "Where's his room?"

Blaise smiled, and said, "Second door to the right when you walk up," he then, gave one last wink and walked away.

the Gryffindor ignored him, and walked into the common room, she didn't need a password anymore, since Zabini left it open for her. it was weird going into another common room other that her own house's. it was exactly as she expected, it was dark, and green, and snakes,

it's so Slytherin-y.

she walked up the stairs to the boy's dormitory, which was on the opposite side of the girl's dormitories (she hope it was just the same with the Gryffindors', cause if not, she might walk into a girl's dormitory, and it'll just be embarrassing.)

with shaking hands, she opened the second door on her right, Draco's room- hopefully.

the door squeaked open, and inside, there were four beds, the other three were empty, but the one on the far left was not, it was the bed farthest from the door.

a smile spread on Y/N's face as she closed the door behind her, and walked towards the bed.

but her smile soon faded when she noticed that her boyfriend was not alone in bed.. he's naked in bed, with another person?

Y/N gasped, seeing Astoria Greengrass beside Draco, she was only wearing her undergarments- or maybe less, who knows what's under those covers?

the girl swallowed the lump in her throat as she saw the purple marks on Greengrass' neck- she looked away, not being able to keep her tears in her eyes. a scoff left her lips, as her tears fell freely.

"Wake up, lovebirds!!" Y/N exclaimed as loud as she could.

Astoria was the first one to wake up, she opened her eyes, but they widened when she saw the Gryffindor. Astoria quickly sat up, hugging the blanket to cover her body, "Y/N.." she said, and she sounded sorry, but Y/N was not buying it.

at Astoria's voice, Draco finally woke up. he furrowed his eyebrows, and held onto his head, it was aching so bad, but he managed to sit up, "What the hell is happening?" he mumbled to himself.

Y/N laughed sarcastically, how could he ask that?!

"You tell me, Malfoy, what have you been doing all night? moaning in pleasure, I suppose?"

Draco looked around, he was naked under the sheets, with Astoria beside him. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, what happened? he didn't do it with Astoria- right?

no no no, the blonde couldn't help but think, but as he remembered the events from yesterday- Y/N kissing Blaise, he got drunk, getting angry, that's all he can remember. and he certainly still is angry.

he might have regretted what he did with Astoria, but his anger surfaced, he doesn't care anymore, what happened has already happened, and there was no way he can turn back time, unless he used a time turner, but he's not in the mood to mess with time right now, especially with this head ache.

Draco closed his eyes, rubbing his temples, "Like you're innocent," he said.

Y/N's tears hadn't stopped, she has no idea what Draco was talking about, she has never- and won't ever cheat on someone she loves. she knows how painful it is, and she doesn't want them to feel the way she does.

it's just so funny that she's having such a deja vu. someone she loves cheats on her, but she doesn't learn her lesson, does she?

"I don't know what you're talking about," said the Gryffindor, her voice low as she wiped her tears- shit how this hurts, "But if this is what you want, then fine. I've learnt my lesson, never trust men, because they promise- no, they swear, but ends up not doing what they swore to do,"

Draco ignored Y/N, but deep inside, he's hurting, breaking, even. he wants to tell Y/N that he's sorry, that he knows what he did is unforgivable, that he's not worth it, but he wants her, he loves her, and he cannot lose her.

but it seems like he already has.

"I hope you're happy with Blaise," said Draco in a low mumble.

Y/N just scoffed, and shook her head, ignoring him, "You're just like-" she didn't continue, she can't, it just makes her think about how dumb she's been. with a shake of her head, she turned around, and out the Slytherin common room, her tears once again rolling down her cheeks.

Draco was left inside the quiet room with Astoria. he ran a frustrated hand through his face, as he finally feel the pain take him. his tears ran down his face, and at this point, he doesn't even care if Astoria was there, he's lost Y/N, and it hurts.

all those thoughts about her and him being married, they'll never happen now.

Astoria looked straight at a space, she didn't want things to happen this way. whatever she does, she can't change the fact that Draco loves Y/N. she's just a person from his past, and nothing else.

"Draco, I-" her voice shivered.

but the blonde didn't want to talk to her, "Get out," he said sternly.

the girl jumped, she's never heard Draco so cold, so hurt. she swallowed the lump in her throat, and stood up, getting her clothes, and putting them on.

with one last glance at the blonde, Astoria walked out of the door, leaving Draco with tears in his eyes.

• • •

Y/N ran in her dorm room, shutting the door behind her. she was thankful the room was empty, because no one, and I say no one will be happy with the decision she's about to make.

she understands now, why Jeanette did it, to take all the pain away. funny because just a few months ago, she said it was pathetic to do what her sister did, but look at her now.

quickly, she wrote letters, three, to be exact. for the trio, she told them thank you for the months worth of friendship, she really is grateful for them, and for her parents, she apologized, and lastly, for Draco.

"Draco,

I know I shouldn't be writing to you, especially after what happened, but I wanted to thank you anyways.

for all those months, you made me happy, happier than anyone has ever made me, and at the same time, you gave me pain no one else can give- but that's a part of love, right?

no matter what happened, I want you to know I don't regret a thing, I loved you- and I still do, but the pain's too much now, I want it to stop.

you made me realize a lot of things, you made me realize that love really is dumb, and that it's just like the Imperius curse, you're under a spell you can't control.

I'm tired of it, I don't want to be under the same spell, again and again, because it hurts too much.

I'm sorry if I can't face you personally, but I wanted to say goodbye, by the time you read this, I'm probably long gone- it's for the best.

don't cry on my grave and ask me to come back, because you've lost your chance to keep me, it's all over now, and it's for the better.

I hope you're happy now,

Y/N."

by the time she finished the letters, she once again had tears in her eyes.

she quickly wiped them away, and put the letters on top of her desk, where Hermione could see them.

Y/N walked out of the room, and out of the castle- no one was walking through the corridors, everyone's in the library, studying for their NEWTs, and the Gryffindor couldn't be more thankful.

she's about to make the same mistake her sister made, just like how Draco made the same mistake Blaise made. 

the same mistakes, but they don't learn their lesson from others, they really had to do it themselves.

swallowing the lump in her throat, Y/N finally reached the black lake. she's doing it the muggle way, she didn't want it to be painless, she wants to feel something before leaving this world, she wants to feel it.

she slowly stepped into the water, until she was under it. she held her breath, until she couldn't anymore. she wanted to swim up, but she stopped herself. besides, she's gone too deep into the lake, there was no time to swim up before she looses air.

and she was right, without another second, her eyes slowly closed, and soon, darkness took her.

it's all over now.

~~~