February 23rd

Dear Diary,

My mother came to visit me yesterday. She kept her cold, icy gaze the same, even looking at her own daughter. I discovered what she had been doing over the past seven years: working here. She's the head doctor of this sanitarium... as long as she's in charge, there's no getting out of here.

As usual, she was wearing her blood red stilettos, clicking on the concrete floors of this hell hole. You know, that's how I can tell if she's coming. All those memories of her heels clicking are now associated with the feeling of dread, and added as a large planet to the star of recognition.

As she stepped into my room - or cell - I scanned her up and down, trying to find the loving mother I once knew. The mother who would read me stories and play barbies with me. The mother I had for seven years. The mother who loved me. But all I saw was an empty shell.

I saw a leather skirt, fitted perfectly to her skin. Stopping at her knees, it looked almost too tight to move in. I saw a loose, blood red blouse covering her torso. It was tucked in at the waist, and it was equally tight around her wrists. The sleeves were similar to handcuffs in this way, but there were buttons instead of locks. The blouse fell at a V-neck angle, layered throughout her chest.

Her caramel hair fell in loose waves around her face, parted to the side. She complimented her sharp cheekbones with a shocking red lipstick, the same shade as her blouse. Her dark brown eyes were as piercing as ever, surrounded by eyeliner and mascara. Matching this outfit, on top of her prominent collar bone, lay a perfectly strung pearl necklace.

It was this moment that I truly noticed the star of clothing. Clothing coats our bodies, covering the parts we don't want seen. It's our shield that we shouldn't need. Some people choose to use this shield more than others, and that's okay. Some people choose not to use this shield at all, and I don't judge that. It's okay too.

Each style of clothing is a planet, despite what you had thought prior. Some people have only one style, close to their star. Others have all styles, some closer than others. It all depends on who you are.

As for me, I have the casual planet closest, with fancy and flouncy following close behind. What do you have? I wish you could talk to me... maybe you'd have some advice on how to handle all this. But right now, I'll be on my own.

Talk to you later,
Emma