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6| Fumnanya

"What do you mean you are not going? This is VVIP Fum," Olamide cried in my ear as I proceeded to make my meal. She was dressed in a body fitted green dress that stopped about a few inches before her knee. Her hair today was almost the same shade as her gown. She was one girl who had different shades of everything you could find physically on a person stacked in her house. According to her, it helped beat the trends. Laying too comfortably on my bed was Jennifer, also dressed for the occasion—the show I was suddenly given three tickets too by an anonymous donor.

Anonymous my foot, was all I thought every time my course mates gushed over how I had an anon. Does it count as that if the person was known? Olamide and Jennifer also knew too.

"I don't care. Its three tickets right? Give the last one to whoever. I have to study." Study had become a heavy word over the past few weeks for me. I majorly crammed my courses since I couldn't concentrate when I read. I knew my G.P was among the best in the department but of recent, I had failed three tests and a term paper.

Jennifer sat up on my bed, "Really? How are we supposed to show face when the person that was mainly invited does not follow us? Consider our reputation at least na, babe."

"Seriously, girl. If we enter there and Kiishiju notices that we came without you he may ask that we be thrown out. Haba, we are not that desperate." Apparently, I wanted to say out loud but kept my thoughts to myself.

I stirred the stew in the small pot I was using to make the food. There were two bunk beds in my room, which felt too occupied most of the time with two of my roommates having one person who bunked with them even when it was illegal. There was a section created for our cooking utensils to be kept and activities to be done. My bunk mate was out doing whatever, on the upper bed of the other bunk were the bed owners—Sharon and Jumoke—asleep or pretending to be. Since they were Year One students, they had fewer classes to take. The lower bed was empty.

"Do this for us please? We don't hangout like we used to." To be clear, I was always dragged by them to parties even when I did not want to go. At the last party they had taken me to I caught Derrick in the middle of a make-out session, after that they had let me be probably because they felt it was their fault I saw what I did.

"I'm too tired."

"It's just 4pm guy and you were on your bed all day." Jennifer spoke. " Okay, we promise that by 8pm we'll bring you back so you can study. We need you, you know."

I sighed and made myself face them. Some people should not try to make any puppy eye imitation because they end up looking like people with some form of terminal illness, at least that was what I thought when I looked at them.

"Fine," they both shouted with joy on their faces, which made my sleeping roommates jerk up in fright. I chuckled at the action. "But," they kept on jumping in happiness.

"But...you guys...I'll wear what I want to."

That caught their attention and they reluctantly agreed. Usually they picked out my clothes and criticized them down to my shoes before stuffing me with clothes they got for me to show all my nonexistent curves. I let my mind return back to my food.

An hour or more, we stood in front of the location, tickets in each hand. I heard sounds—which were not pleasant to me—from inside the building and followed my friends in, dressed in a yellow tan top with a jean jacket over it and flare skirt underneath. My friends did not approve of this, but if I was not going to stay long, why not stay comfortable?

We showed the bouncers at the door the tickets and were directed to the upper floor which towered above the area where the regulars stood, shouted and danced to the performer on the stage. It was like a balcony of a house. The stage appeared closer with iron bars that were the height of my stomach preventing anyone from accessing it. There were four people—two females and two males—and six empty chairs arranged in a 'C' shape to grant everyone the opportunity to see the stage.

"Omg, guy, what did you do to this guy to make him give us...this?" Jennifer squealed as she looked around and took her seat. Olamide did not have her seat before she began to jump and shout to the boy on stage. I felt embarrassed with how they acted because of the stares from our co-VIP people.

"Hi," I said gently to the people before I took my seat and watched the stage. Blue, green, yellow and red lights rotated around, touching the roof of the stage, the performer who jumped around like he had lost his mind and the crowd that had few people screaming and others with their phones. There was also the DJ at the far end of the stage, he was dressed in a black shirt that had an inscription which was not legible enough to be read from where I sat. He bopped his head to the beat of the singer so fast that I believed he would end up with a serious headache. Other than all those my eyes felt overloaded and my head felt fatigued. Maybe all the shouts caused my eardrums to be weakened in turn affecting my head. I could not be sure. I brought out my phone and scrolled through Instagram, lightly liking every picture I saw.

My phone buzzed and a part of the message appeared on screen; I know you are not a kid again, you should be able to take decisions without your mother. I want to se...

I shook. But I would not read the message. My heart pounded and I did the next thing I thought was right—turned off the phone. I feared he would call and I would be too scared to end the call which may attract the attention of my friends. Without anything to do and my friends constantly shouting the lyrics to the songs being played by the DJ, I felt bored.

Sure I was not in their concern again, I rolled my jean jacket up and looked at the almost a week old mark that had been constructed into my arm. The memory of why came back and I sighed in response, wishing I could feel the pain of what I had done to myself. One thing I learnt was it was better to feel physical pain than any other pain. Pain was happiness...in a way.

"Lets give it up for the one and only...Kii—shi—ju," the hype-man yelled into the microphone and everyone including my BFFs screamed. I feared they would topple over with how much they jumped with the heel they wore. Even the people who were up with us had gotten up and did the same thing—the girls mostly. The screams went on for seconds before it died down when they saw no one. Murmurs spread round the hall, I was curious but did not want to get off the chair.

"Fum, come here and see this. We can't even be here without you when he comes out," Olamide commanded and I reluctantly obeyed. The lights were turned off and the stage was filled with smoke which made me even more curious. The silence went on making it feel like eternity.

I had never been to any show where Kiishiju was to perform therefore I did not know how he made his entrance. I turned to Jennifer who had a wide smile on her lightly made up face. "Is this normal?" She had been to a tons of his shows and followed his growth. She was what they called 'his stan'.

"No girl, he does a new thing every time. The last concert he came from the sky, you know just like that his song 'Fall' where it was as if he was being dropped by the giant girl to the ground." She explained like I had watched any video of his song. I wasn't into his kind of music mainly because of it made me uncomfortable.

Suddenly spotlight came on and was directed at a figure which stood still even as the smoke dispersed. There was a screeching noise before 'Who let the dogs out' erupted from the speakers. The crowd cheered as the figure raised his head with a smile. The lights came back on with the ones which rotated and I was able to see he had on a yellow shirt with a bold drawing of sponge-bob on it and a black trousers with sprinkles of colors trouser.

"Whats up people?" he called out, shouting into the microphone in his hand. In response, there were screams from different directions and I used my hands to cover my ear because of the ones close to me. Most of the audience had brought out phones to keep the present as viewable memory. I scoffed knowing that after today, the pictures and videos would only take up space in their devices. I looked to him as he spoke, "I'm grateful to my man, Small Bola for organizing this. Being before you all makes me feel blessed because without anyone of you, I wouldn't be here today."

Someone cheered and half of he hall followed, "Truthfully...I wouldn't. I know I would have been one of those students who send annoying lecturers letters on how much I hate their classes though," there was laughter in the hall. I found myself laughing too. The Kiishiju on the stage still had the same talkative characteristic as the one I had met that odd night. I was drawn back to the water with him talking about mermaids and mermen. I laughed all the more.

"Or maybe I would have been that student that showed off in class..." wasn't he still a student? "...kissing the asses of lecturers and seniors, almost like most of you have to do." The hall erupted with laughter again. This time I didn't, I rested on the iron bars and stared at him.

He moved from the spot he had been standing, "Now they all want to kiss my ass." Jennifers laughter rang loud even among the others in the hall. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow but her attention was on the entertainer in the room. "But that is because of you all and I am gra—"

A feminine voice screamed at him before he could complete his statement, "I love you, Kiishiju."

I chuckled at that. He did so too. "I love you too baby...I love all of you." He shouted and signaled to the DJ.

"One...two...three..." he paused and began with some dance moves. He whined his waist slowly to the instrumental that played and took his feet backward and forward one at a time. There were different volumes and levels of joyous shrieks from every corner of the room.

And then he started just as his voice from the song played in the background, "omalicha, see wetin you do to me, your body dey sweeti me, e dey make me loose control..." he drew the last word, "...i know sey I get long throat, but na only me get that figure eight, na only you I want to date..."

I tuned out and wondered about his words. Where they in anyway personal or just jargon that made to fill up lack of creativity?

At some point he began to jump and the crowd copied his actions. That was when I noticed he had switched to another song much faster than the previous. "...even if you throw me away, I will still hang for your dormot, baby girl you make me dey crase, make I spend all my money comot..." Again, Jennifer screamed the lyrics louder than everyone around us as she moved her waist, breaking in intervals. By my other side was Olamide who had her hands on her knees and her buttocks moving up down, up down. I laughed at how they were so engrossed in their dance sessions.

"I am falling for you, falling for you, falling for you," Kiishiju repeated over and over. He stretched out the microphone to the audience and they screamed the lyrics.

He continued on, "...whatever you doing to me Rita, cannot make my heart and soul bitter, if you like make you push me enter gutter, I go still look you like bournvita..." and then the crowd screamed the chorus again followed by words that I couldn't call words because they did not exist in the dictionary.

okay, bumbum, belle, banana, were the words I heard in the next song which he did more dancing too as the recorded version played on. I rolled my eyes but stood there because of my friends would not let me go to sit and his dance steps—mostly the Zanku which involved the rapid movement of legs like one was dusting off ants of ones legs—was admirable.

Finally, after what felt like ages to me, he ended his singing and the crowd went wild with screams and howls. He wiped his face with an handkerchief and looked up for the first time. Our eyes met and it looked like his iris could change colors—courtesy of the stage lights. A large grin sat on his face as he turned away from me back to the crowd below.

"Thank you people..." Kiishiju shouted into the microphone even while they still produced joyous screams and whistles "...and God bless." The MC or hype-man as they preferred to be called jogged out from a corner I had not noticed was there. They both gave each other a side hug, hitting their backs before the musician went through the corner the other figure had come out from.

"Give it up once again for my man, Kiishiju." Small Bola said and the audience did what they did best. I scoffed at two things; one, the nickname the giant at the stage had chosen to use and two, the fact that the people in the hall—including my friends—were happy over some measly words about the female body and jumped around like he blessed them with money.

"WOAH" Olamide screamed on as I chose that time to make my way to my seat.

"Like," Jennifer looked to the other girl, her plump chest heaved from all the actions she had taken this night. "This was amazing, that boy is amazing." Just because he sang?

"I am glad we did not miss out on this," Olamide spoke before she faced me, "Aren't you happy?"

Happy is a strong word.

I let a small smile play on my lips"Yeah, sure."

They turned to the stage as a new artiste began to perform, the crowd weren't as excited as before and neither were my friends, but they still stood even as they talked to me.

"Wouldn't this be the best thing to make into an article for the blog you wanted to open?" Jennifer rested her back on the railings, her hands were stretched open on them also. I scratched my eye under the glasses, thinking of a response to give to her. I had always liked writing from a young age but did not want anything that would make me feel deeply, so I stuck with reading. That was until First Year when I had read a blog post about opening your heart to new beginnings despite whatever happened to you. During the entire first semester, I had complied my view of school, excited and far away from home. Jennifer had seen the book and read through it despite how much I told her it was personal. After that she had pressured me into sharing it with the world and told me I could even write for the school media.

Her words felt great at that time, I had opened a blog when I went back home for the holiday and would have actually began to blog but certain things happened, I became afraid of the world seeing what I wrote and understanding the connection. Also I was scared of being judged, plus there was no one I could inspire with my life. So I deleted the site and told Jennifer I had not found the perfect thing to start with.

"Blog? Who?" Olamide turned me.

"Fum na, she writes mad things." Jennifer said to her casually as she bent her head to her phone.

"Really? How come I have never seen anything she has written?" There was a tone of surprise and unbelief in my light skinned friend.

"Because the only thing you want to see is her answers in exams." Again, Jennifer said casually. Olamide pushed her slightly and looked to me.

"Sha, I don't think entertainment blogging is for you since its not your thing," I looked from her to the stage where there were a group of dancers now, doing flips and stunts.

Jennifer spoke before I could. "What do you know about blogging, you that is talking?"

"I know you have to like something before you do it..." the other girl responded and finally came to take her seat for the first time since we got to the show. "...and baby girl here hates parties, music and what else...right?"

I didn't hate music, just the ones that made me think about myself and what I did not have. "Yeah," I answered and looked at my wristwatch. I was tired of being in the hall, tired of hearing them talk about writing and blogging and tired of being around them in general. Plus I needed to study or cram.

"And you're following her to say 'yeah'," I took my eyes to Jennifer who had not taken hers off her phone. "If you don't start you won't know."

I gave no reply and let the no talk mood between us stay. The other people with us made noises as they took pictures of themselves. Olamide made videos, moving to the beat of the song the DJ played and Jennifer continued to stare at her phone, her fingers moved fast. I played with the hem of my skirt and thought about the message I had received earlier. I hated what he was trying to do and I could not bring myself to forgive him for what he did either. He was the one that made my life as it was—miserable and only available for pity.

The voices we heard from outside the room made everyone arrange themselves because we all knew who was going to come through the door. I turned back to get a view of the door and just as Jennifer took her seat, Kiishiju came in talking to the handsome dark skinned gentleman clad in a green, red and yellow Ankara top and black trousers with sandals on his feet. The man sounded frustrated from his response to the musician. Behind them and stopping at the entrance was a huge male in all black and arms folded.

"...they came from MTV dude, you need to do this."

Kiishiju did not bother to turn to him as he spoke, "If they are so important you do the interview and tell them I had to leave or something."

"Are you mad? They saw you climb up now."

"Well, tell them I left through the roof."

"You are mad. Roof?" As they approached, I faced front and tried to act like I was into what was happening on the stage. "Ite," the young man said what I assumed to be the musicians name.

Ite, I repeated mentally, Ite what?

"Okay fine. Thirty minutes and I'll go." Footsteps rang out and Olamide gasped as the campus celebrity appeared in front of us.

He's very much a student like you, lammzy.

"And the mermaid graced me with her presence." I stood up, with my friends doing the same thing and offered a hand for a shake but got pulled into a hug. He smelt of orange or was it lemon? Uncomfortable because of the number of eyes I knew were on us, I pulled out of the hug.

He had on a smile that was like it could never falter, "Uhm, thank you for the tickets."

"Ah, no worries, I did not know who would occupy these chairs and then remembered the mermaid and her two...friends," he took his eyes off me and looked at them each. They excitedly opened their arms for a hug but he took each of their hands—Jennifers right hand since she sat by the left side of me and Olamides right hand—and shook it lightly. Even if it was not what she wanted, my dark skinned friend squealed excitedly, Olamide on the other hand did not show much joy.

"Well, Jide..." he dragged his company who had a scowl on his face "...meet mer-Fumnanya...right?" I stretched out my right hand with a smile and the dark man did not do what the musician had done.

"Yes."

"Meet my manager and friend, Jide." He introduced him and the man shook my hand earnestly. I wondered what else he would have added to my introduction and if they had talked about me; 'oh this is the girl that wanted to drown herself in the schools lagoon'.

"And these are her friends." The boy did not bother to say their names, which I knew he did not know, or ask them to tell their names. Jennifer was excited so she rushed to Jide the managers side and shook his hand, telling him her name. Olamide shook his hand but did not bother to do what my other friend had done.

"Its nice to have you all here," I could not tell if what he said was genuinely because his eyes were on the other people. He tapped Kiishiju and pointed at them, a girl from the group of four waved and he scratched his full hair. I wondered how he maintained it with how it looked like it could break a comb if put into it.

"I'll be right back," he looked at me again, his eyes had a shine. My friends and I took our seats as the two males moved to the part of the room where the other VIPs sat. I watched them as Jennifer—now seated by Olamide—kept on talking.

The musician shook them all but hugged no one. He talked with one of the males while his manager talked to the other. After a few minutes, they walked back to us and the now empty seat by my side was taken by Kiishiju. His friend raised a brow but took the available seat beside Jennifer.

I did not know what to feel about the boy seated next to me, so I played with the sleeve button on my jacket. I was glad I wasn't among the crowd down where it would have been hot from their numbers and I would have had the urge to take of the jacket.

"I like your jacket," he said into my ear, his breath caressed my skin, "and your inner is the same color with mine." I looked at his shirt which was brighter mine and nodded.

"Yeah."

"What did you think of the show?" He questioned.

"Lots of noise. Tiring," I thought about it and decided to add a positive response, "but good."

He said nothing at first and I watched the female singer on the stage. I thought she had an amazing voice with how she stretched words on and on. "Did you dance?"

I looked at him, ground my teeth and questioned, "Why did you get us the tickets?" It was either my words amused him or how I whispered because his mouth lit up with a smile, "I told you not call me again."

"Well, I did not call now, did I? Or should I ha—" Olamides compliments directed at him stopped his sentence. She told him about how his own style of Shoki was so different that she tried learning it and could not get it.

"Its all in your head," he gave as a response to her statements.

Jennifer joined in the conversation, "What do you mean?"

"You feel its different so your brain believes your mind and your body follows what your brain says. Its almost the same as studying a course. You perceive it as hard, brain accepts, hands write rubbish, you fail."

"Wow, you sound like a Life Coach," it was still Jennifer, her voice carried amusement.

"Nope, I sound like Kiishi..." he did not add the 'ju' and I wondered if that was his real name, "...life is harder than that to be a coach to. Sometimes you perceive good and the others happen." I wasn't sure if my friends understood what he meant, I wasn't sure I understood what he meant either.

"Wow," was all Jennifer said. I watched her fish out her phone and look at him from where she sat. Olamide had her phone out of her bag too.

"I don't want it to be a bother but can we get a picture with you?" Her voice had switched to one I could not recognize. It almost made me laugh.

"Sure sure," he agreed and Jennifer raised her phone from her spot and had us all except the manager at the end who gave us a glance and went back to viewing his device. I looked at the camera and then turned my face away. I just hoped I did not make the picture terrible by not looking.

"Won't you look into the phone, Fum?" the girl holding the phone asked. I shook my head. I was in no mood to smile and pretend the best time of my life was being in the presence of a student appointed celebrity.

"Its no worry, I can give her a personal later," with Kiishiju behind me and my head faced down, I could not tell what he was doing.

I felt a pinch on the back of my hand and scrunched my face just as Jennifer spoke again. "Its for the gram," she tried to have her voice carry pleasantness but I knew she warned me not to spoil her picture. Reluctantly, I looked at the camera, a smile I wasn't in the mood to carry planted on my face. She took until she was satisfied and Olamide proceeded to ask for one with only her and the boy.

He agreed but did not leave the seat, so she had to come bend a bit beside him to take her photos. Jennifer came to do the same thing. He did not concentrate on her photos but whispered to me; "Want to get out of here?"

"No," I said out loud. But I did want to leave here. I had began to have my head ache from the sounds that played out of the speaker, I had began to compare myself with the girls that came up stage with elegant outfits and well shaped bodies. The kinds that should get this musicians attention.

Maybe I should have let Jennifer and Olamide picked out what I was to wear.

Kiishiju did not give me a response, he simply turned to the girl beside him. "You see my friend over there?" I and Jennifer looked at the direction of the manager still on his phone and my friend nodded.

"He has been single for as long as I can remember, girls always break his heart that's why." I raised a brow as he finished his words, "But he's ready to mingle now and he likes dark melanin ladies." The last part was said as a whisper.

Jennifers face held a frown for a second before she smiled and arranged herself. She walked back to her seat and asked to take picture with the shocked man. He looked at our direction and then agreed to Jennifers request. With Olamide busy with her phone and my other friend busy with Kiishijus, it was easy for the boy to drag me out of the room. It was then I noticed that the other people had left.

We got to the door and the big built man began to follow us. Kiishiju told me to go down the stairs as he turned to him. I did as he said and got to the down floor, people fluttered around, some took pictures by the banners that were hung and there were camera men and interviewers talking with people. I looked at dresses that were worn by the females I saw, some glittered, some stuck to their bodies but they were all above their knees.

I arranged my bag on my shoulder and bit my lips. I definitely looked like the odd one in their midst. I was about to regret coming.

"Alright, follow me." Kiishiju appeared before me and held unto my hand. It felt warm and cold at the same time but I did not remove my hand from his and I wondered why. "Whatever happens, don't answer anyone."

I frowned as we walked through the people. At the entrance, a cameraman began to call his name which attracted the attention of the other cameraman and interviewers. He looked towards them and smiled.

"Now we have to run out of here," he said to me and gave me no opportunity to respond as he stepped out, acknowledged the bouncer and dragged me in a fit of jogs. We stopped when we were some distance from the building and were sure the people had not followed us—him.

"What are you doing?" I found the ability to take my hand out of his hold.

"We, darling mermaid, are going to count the stars

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