Orange sighed as she leaned back in the water, her arms bent behind her to hold onto the side of the wall of the giant bath, her feet kicking lazily in the water. She still could not swim, but Orange did not really harbor any fear of the water itself, perhaps something she could attribute to always having one of the other Diamonds prepared to pluck her from the water should she ever sink below its surface. Now, however, it was just her in the water, as naked as she had been as a babe, and completely alone.

Well, with the exception of the two guards that stood just inside the doorway. With a sound from her, they would come running to save her from the water if she needed it, otherwise they would remain as unseen as they could, and it was as much privacy as Orange could ask for at the moment. Pearl had to return to White, saying she had been summoned, though Orange wasn't sure how she knew that, but she hadn't exactly pushed for more information than Pearl was willing to give either. She had said she would return to bring her back to her room, as to ensure she followed White's orders on her continued lockdown.

On the way here, Pearl had stopped any gem they came across and had pushed Orange to socialize with them, even if only for a moment, leaving many flustered gems in their wake. It was odd, after having such little interaction with anyone for more than three weeks of almost total isolation, to suddenly have a handful of people to speak with again, but Orange appreciated it. Though, now she was feeling more drained than ever, and was ready for some quiet time of her own, preferably one that didn't involve her darker thoughts creeping in to ruin it. She never really realized how much she took for granted her freedom to do what she wanted and to freely talk with anyone she pleased, within reason, until White had taken all that away from her.

Which brought up the subject of White's punishment. Orange didn't know how she was supposed to feel on the matter. It upset her White believed she was messing around, but she also knew White didn't entirely understand her situation. Orange herself didn't entirely understand her situation, and wasn't that the root of her problem? If Orange didn't even know what was wrong, how could she blame White for what was happening?

She did not want to excuse White's decision to falsely call her behavior bad and to punish her unjustly for it, she knew White was wrong for her choice. She had made what Orange now considered a rash decision, in her frustration of Orange's situation and as a result it had shaken Orange's belief of the infallible White Diamond.

Orange realized she had done to White exactly what she had recognized the others had done to her. She had not only put White, but all of the diamonds on the highest shelf, and now that shelf had been disturbed. She had felt what it was like to be put up so high and fall. She wasn't as untouchable as she had once believed, and the other Diamonds weren't any more immune from failure than she was. They made mistakes, they didn't know things, and they fought with each other all the time. Orange had always thought they were the best of the best, no one could hope to compare to them.

Where the other Diamond under pressure too? Did they feel what Orange felt, still felt? It was still there, weighing Orange's heart down, but she didn't feel like she was baring it all alone now. She didn't feel like she was at total fault for cracking under the expectation of the others. She was only one gem, and not a very experienced one at that, and yet she had felt she was the odd one out for not knowing, for not being able to do everything the others could. Those gems that had millennia to perfect what they did, and yet it was her that felt at fault when she had not met the expectations placed upon her. She wished White could see it from her perspective, the way her Pearl seemed to.

But Orange also wished to understand where White was coming from. White hadn't done this to her out of malice. Orange didn't even think White knew how she was feeling, or how she had made Orange feel. She didn't know what White meant when she had referred to Pink influencing her, but Orange imagined it was connected to something Pearl had commented on before, Pink doing what she wanted, regardless of who it hurt. She knew the elder Diamond could be reckless at times, even saying things she didn't really mean in the heat of the moment, but she had a hard time believing she could ever purposely hurt someone. But that was before her time, and she didn't know Pink before then. She could have been a whole other person when she had owned White's Pearl.

The Pink she knew now was incredibly kind, compassionate, perhaps a little naive like her, but with a wisdom of her own that Orange had never really had the awareness to appreciate. She was the diamond that Orange could be freest with. The Pink diamond who had been her most loving caregiver since she had come into this world, the one who had been by her side, and had made sure she was never really alone, either leaving her in her trusted guards care or with her own Pearl. Pink had done what she could to ensure she never had to face the world alone.

Orange knew she had never actually had to face anything alone, by herself and completely on her own. She had always had someone there for her, there to help, there to guide, there to do something. The only time she had to do anything alone had been when she had been poofed, and it had just been her and herself. Mimic.

Orange nearly vaulted out of the pool, catching the guard's attention and they must have assumed she was panicking, both of them stumbling over each other in their rush over to help her.

"My Diamond!"

"My Diamond, are you alright?" They shouted as they ran to meet her at the edge of the pool.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm ready to get out." Orange responded, stepping out of the water, completely unembarrassed about her nudity. In a flash of light, Orange had produced a set of her clothes on her body, though she could still feel the water that weighted her hair down and that rolled down her neck, wetting the back of her tunic. Turning to the guards, Orange addressed them both, "I'd like to return to my room. If one of you could intercept White's Pearl to inform her of my return, and the other to escort me and report back to White Diamond that I have followed her orders."

The Carnelian on the right saluted, her counterpart following suit a moment after. "Yes my Diamond."

"At once." The other said, and departed from them before Orange made to leave herself.

Orange and her escort walked in companionable silence as they moved through the mostly deserted halls, the Carnelian guard walking a step and half behind her, out of respect.

"Where is everyone?" Orange questioned, slowing so she and her guard where side by side, much to the Carnelian's obvious discomfort.

"They have been called away, my clarity." She informed, her eyes turned down and away from Orange, suddenly looking much more nervous, "I have been instructed not to talk about why. Forgive me, my Diamond."

Orange took a deep breath, schooling her features. "Another of White's orders?"

Her guard nodded, "Her Pearl informed us of White Diamond's orders more than a week ago." She paused to throw up a salute to Orange, who stopped to look at her in question, "I'm sorry-"

"It's alright." Orange waved her off, turning to continue walking, catching her guard by surprise as she sped up to catch up without actually running in White Diamond's head ship. "You're not at fault for doing your job. It's more admirable that you have listened, instead of trying to appease me. You still belong to White's court." Orange continued, looking over her shoulder at her as she caught up.

"T-thank you, my Diamond." A small smile crossed the Quartz's face, "It is rather easy, since you didn't seem interested in-! Ahh, that is..." She cut herself off before she could continue, her eyes wide with alarm, afraid she had unintentionally offended her superior.

"Speaking with anyone?" Orange offered, smiling as a way to show she hadn't felt insulted by her guard's observation.

"...Yes. I shouldn't have said that. I've overstepped my bounds."

Orange laughed, "Considering you follow me around so often, I think you might be entitled to a little leeway, 5...PX, right?" Orange questioned, tilting her head as she attempted to recall her designation.

"You know who I am?" The Carnelian's voice held wonder and disbelief, her mouth falling open as she met Orange's eyes.

"I'd like to at least know who's guarding me, for one." Orange folded her hands behind her back, feeling more confident than she had in days. Interacting with her guards was something she was more familiar with than the other Diamonds were probably aware of, though now she was starting to wonder if she had come across as uninterested to them for all these years if they didn't believe she even knew who they were. "And you're almost always assigned to me when I'm here now. Did you think you went unnoticed?"

"I...to expect a gem of your caliber to take notice of a single Carnelian, that would just be ridiculous."

"I remember you were given to me because of your brilliant color, a little more than a century ago, right?" Orange attempted to recall the time frame she had been given her first Carnelian guards, a gift from White Diamond herself. Common Quartz they may be, but the most vibrant she had ever come across had belonged to White's court, and Orange had been smitten with their gem type almost instantly. "I was always fond of the Carnelians when I was younger, because we shared a brighter color than the others here."

"Stars!" Her escort smacked a hand over her mouth, "You remember when I joined your personal guard?"

"I do. I'm sorry it's taken this long to have an actual one-on-one conversation with you. I'd like make a better effort to know the gems that would give their life in service to me. I can see I should try harder, though."

"It is my privilege to serve you, My Diamond, and an honor you would even recognize me." The Quartz bowed her head so she didn't have to stop walking to salute her properly, "And when you have a court of your own, if it is allowed, I hope to be transfer to your service then."

It was Orange's turn to be surprised, her step faultering before she turned her head from their destination's direction to 5PX. "You would skip over a permanent station with White Diamond here, to join my court?"

"Yes, my Diamond! It would be my honor and privilege to serve under Orange Diamond's great court." 5PX grinned.

"You'd always be welcome in my court." Orange found herself saying, the surprise still on her face, "All of my guards would be welcome to join me." Orange paused, considering what she had said. "Well, if they can get consent from their current Diamonds to do so."

"I'll let the other guards know!" 5PX laughed, making a smile tug on her superior's face. She stopped to give Orange a real diamond salute, "Whenever you are prepared for that, Orange Diamond, you will have us ready to join you, as your loyal guards and servants."

Orange blinked, she had simply wanted information about the outside, she hadn't expect the walk back to her room to have become the way she started a fledgling court. Right in the middle of White's head ship too. She knew White would lovethat.

"Thank you, 5PX. That's..." Orange breathed out, pausing to collect her thoughts, "that's flattering that any of you would want to stay by my side. I'd like to have you all in my guard, when I start my real duties as a Diamond."

"We will be ready. Oh, uhh, we are back to your room, my Diamond." The Quartz held a hand over the back of her head, nervousness making her eyebrows arch up as she looked apologetically at Orange, "I'll have to, erm, lock the door."

"Don't worry about it. it's just your duty."

"Thank you for being understanding, my clarity."

Orange nodded, waiting as she opened the door for her, using the hand pad on her side of the door. Stepping through the doorway, Orange turned back to 5PX, "I need some quiet time, so don't let anyone but White's Pearl past here, okay?"

"Yes, my Diamond! When 7PX returns, we'll ensure no one passes these doors."

"Thank you."

Stepping inside fully as the doors closed behind her, and now knowing she was actually locked in, Orange looked around her room with fresh eyes. It was early morning on Homeworld, the sun not even up yet, leaving the lights to dimly illuminate her room. Her bed was made, and there was a new tray of supplements on her table. No doubt Pearl's doing.

Orange didn't believe she could stomach any more at the moment, so she left it untouched for later. While she had eaten for Pearl, Orange still didn't feel much motivation to actually consume them, beyond her need to. Perhaps once everything had been sorted out and with a little rest, she would have her appetite back.

As it was, She had something else to do before she could even attempt to fall asleep. Since she had come to the realization that she could potientially use Mimic to bounce her problems off of, she had been trying to figure out a means of getting to her.

It occurred to her that the last time she had changed, and felt herself grow stronger, it had involved being in her gem, and her little adventure with Mimic. But she had little interest in getting herself poofed simply to try and figure out herself, and instead hoped she might be able to meditate herself into being able to find Mimic again, and see if she knew a solution to her - their? - issues into using the powers she had been having trouble tapping into. Who would know better than her subconscious self?

Sighing, Orange stretched her arms over her head, the fatigue in her limbs was more noticeable but dulled after her soak. The supplements may not have improved everything, but the rush of energy coming from her gem was a relief, and made her feel more prepared for her attempt to speak with Mimic.

Orange knew what she had to do, but how to go about getting there was a whole other problem. She knew her problems using her powers were stemming from her self doubts regarding her control, and her fear she would end up hurting someone else, but no matter how much she talked herself through it, short of losing herself in bouts of anger, she could not manifest more than some hot air before burning herself out. Whatever issues she was having, she needed to face, and whatever that was, she needed to speak with herself about, and who better to talk it out with than herself? Or rather, Mimic. Orange wasn't sure what she was doing, or quite looking for, she just knew she had to find a way inside, into her gem, to get to her. A joining of her mind and body, herself at its core.

Moving to the bed, she snatched some of the pillows that she kept to fill the now unused side, tossing them onto the floor to create an area for her to sit comfortably on. Plopping down onto them, she took a calming breath.

She wasn't even sure what she was doing, or if it would even work. She had once watched the Moonstones do something similar, falling into meditative states to harmonize with one another, but seeing and doing where two very different things. What would she do if it failed, how would she reach Mimic then? Orange supposed she'd cross that bridge when she got to it. Perhaps Pearl would have a suggestion, she had more than a few millennia on her, and in that time she could have picked up something.

Orange took another deep breath, her eyes closing and her arms resting loosely in her lap. Another breath, and she started her attempt to search inward, probing for some kind of opening or joining between her body and gem. When that seemed to drag on with no result, she turned to trying to find the source of her gem's power, trying to avoid calling on her abilities and instead simply a way inside. When nothing happened, and the feeling of being foolish started to creep in, Orange moved on to a different attempt. Searching her mind, trying to find a feeling or thought that linked her to her subconscious self. She recalled her time with Mimic, how it had felt inside her gem. The dark, creeping and yet stagnant. Mimic's insistence to remain safe, but they were already so lost. How could they be safe if she couldn't even see?

She felt lost in the choking darkness of her memory before it settled, and she was able to remind herself she wasn't back there in the dark. She and Mimic had found their way, they had come together, and she had come out stronger for it. She took another deep breath and held it before letting it go. She was starting to feel trapped with her eyes closed and the memory of those feelings of being stuck in the dark just at the back of her mind. It made her tense, and she felt foolish for her physical reaction to it. She knew it was simply making herself frustrated with her lack of results, especially when she had so much riding on its outcome.

Orange blinked open her eyes, peering around in the hopes that just maybe she may inexplicably find herself in some vaguely familiar place that she had once visited. She was let down when she looked around and saw a very familiar room, the one she had been in, in White's head ship. Orange leaned back, using her arms to support herself as she sighed loudly, "I was really hoping that would work."

"Oh Sweetie, thank goodness! You weren't responding when I called you." A very familiar voice said behind her, making her jump.

Turning around, Orange's eyes widened as she had to tilt her head back just to look up at them from her sitting position. "Pink?"

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Wanted to put a reminder that you can check out tumblr for pictures and spoilers for future events (if that's your thing) regarding the story. You can also ask questions if your not comfortable leaving something in the comments. ill be updating it a lot during my little week away. GreenEndai.Tumblr.com