Pearl paused, glancing over the growing pile of tiny pills on top of the sterile metal plate that was used to keep any impurities from damaging the younger gem's tablets. There were at least enough there that Pearl could surmise that the guards had delivered the required tablets at least four separate times while she had been unable to, all of them untouched, with the exception of three, one of which she could spot on the floor beside the table. "My Diamond, it has been advised that you don't skip these supplements. You run the risk of-"

"I don't care." Orange cut in, her voice low and gravelly from disuse.

"My clarity?" she turned her head in Orange's direction, surprise clear on her face. Orange was sat on the floor at the end of her bed, using it to prop her back up on.

"I'm not interested in taking them." Orange made no attempt to look at her, or even acknowledge her physically.

"My...Orange, may I still call you that?" Pearl questioned as she moved towards where she sat, body facing her, but head still turned away from her, eyes looking but not really seeing outside the window she faced.

She shrugged. "Sure."

Pearl knelt beside Orange on the tiles, placing the tray she had brought with her beside them on the floor, "Please...you need to take these." she motioned towards the tablets, "They help you remain stable."

"If I was a real Diamond, I wouldn't need them." Orange finally looked at her, and Pearl could clearly see the exhaustion on Orange's face, the alarming lack of shine to her eyes, and gem, even in the light. "I wouldn't need White's instructions on how to control my powers, and I wouldn't be such a disappointment. Maybe it's better if i just didn't-"

Orange was cut off as Pearl's hand made contact with the side of her face, the loud smack echoing in the quiet room. They both remained frozen, Orange blinking in surprise as Pearl's face morphed from anger to shock to horror, her hand flying up to her mouth as she realized what she has done.

"I-I oh my stars, i am so sorry! My Diamond, please forgive me, I didn't- I don't know what came over me-" Pearl leaned forward, hand going up to cup Orange's jaw to inspect the prominent mark she had left.

Orange grabbed Pearl's hand, holding it away from her face before she could fuss over it more. "It's alright." Orange looked Pearl in the eyes, her expression betraying nothing.

"You're-"

"Fine." She reassured, "You didn't hurt me."

"But your cheek..." Pearl's eyes flicked back and forth between the mark on her face and Orange's eyes.

"It's nothing. I'm not upset, so don't look so..." Orange's eyebrows knitted together, her lips dropping into a small frown, "Please don't look at me like your scared."

"I'm sorry, My Diamond," She quickly amend, "Orange." Pearl waited until Orange let go of her hand, her hand lingering in the air a moment before falling into her lap with the other. She glanced at the small tray she had brought over with her and set aside, "Please take these."

"Why? What's the point?"

"Because..." Pearl's voice only faltered for a moment before she forced herself to say, "because if you don't, you could die."

"That doesn't sound like such a bad thing." Orange's lips curved into a sombre smile as she looked away from Pearl's alarmed expression, "I won't be such a burden then."

"You are not a burden!"

"I am." Orange nodded, as if confirming her own words, turning to look at Pearl from the corners of her eyes, "I'm a burden on the other Diamonds."

"How could you think such a thing? They love you."

"They could have so much more time if they didn't have to constantly look after me." Unshed tears made Orange's eyes shimmer in the natural light of the room, "Yellow could get her work done and she won't have to take time to make me lessons, Pink can focus on her Earth, and Blue wouldn't have to cater to my wishes like she does...and White wouldn't have to be so disappointed in me."

"No one is disappointed in you," Pearl reached forward, taking Orange's hand and clasping it between both of hers, giving it a comforting squeeze, "least of all White Diamond."

"You were there when she sent me to my room." Orange gave her a questioning looking, "Did you not hear what she said?"

"I heard," Pearl nodded, "and I have served my Diamond for centuries. I know how she is, how she thinks, and I know she is not truly disappointed in you."

"Then what would you call that?"

"Disappointment in her own ability to help you."

Orange's shoulders fell, her eyebrows turning up as her lips curved into a frown, "That's even worse. It's not White's fault I can't make my powers work."

"No, but she fears what will happen if she can't. My diamond does not accept failure easily."

"Then it would be better if she didn't have to continue to try." Orange looked down at their hands, watching as Pearl's fingers tightened reflexively around her own, "She can't fail if I'm not there."

"Orange...where has this come from? I've never know you to be so..." Pearl paused, as if she was unsure what to call Orange's current attitude, "despondent."

"Maybe I'm just coming to terms with myself, finally." Orange shrugged, "That I'm not the being everyone has tried to build me up to be."

"No, you're Orange Diamond." Pearl was quick to respond, "And the Orange Diamond I know has the self confidence to rival an Aquamarine."

Orange blinked, as if she expected her to say something else entirely, "...did you really just compare me to one of them?"

"Do you have a problem with that?" Pearl challenged.

"I..." Orange's chuckled softly, giving Pearl a small smile, "I see what you're trying to do. And thank you, but that doesn't change anything. I'm still just me."

"And that has never been a bad thing. No one has ever asked you to be anyone but you."

"Of course they have." the muscles in Orange's jaw tightened as her lips thinned, the amusement she previously had leaving her face, "The me who loves watching sunrises on Homeworld, and seeing the Demantoids dance, and who loves piloting the war ships between drops doesn't have a place amongst the Diamond Authority." Orange's voice was bitter, showing more and more of her resentment as she spoke, "You have to be strong, don't show such emotion, be fair, don't be so cruel, no Orange, don't socialize with those gems, its unbecoming of a diamond to be seen playingwith them." Orange's face contorted with anger as she continued through things she had been told, things she had obviously been holding in and Pearl allowed her to continue uninterrupted. "Orange, why can't you figure this out?Orange, its time to grow up, Orange, control yourself."

Orange's voice cut off abruptly, her mouth closing, the muscles in her jaw visibly twitching under the strain of her clenching her teeth, taking a deep breath through her nose. "Whatever i do, it's wrong. It's only when i do something i think they want me to do, act how they act, that i get praise for my effort. They place me on this pedestal with a plaque listing of all the thing i'm supposed to be, and now that I've stumbled, Im wrong. A disappointment."

"Orange..." Pearl's eyes fell closed, remaining quiet for a moment as she gathered her thoughts, "you are under so much pressure, you're cracking, and you think no one is noticing. That no one cares."

"Because no one does."

Pearl reached up, grasping Orange's chin and turning her head so she was looking directly at her. "I do."

Orange's eyes flicked back and forth, looking over Pearl's face in question, "Why. Why should you care? I've been so rude to you."

"Because i know you don't mean it. Because i know real friends don't leave when things become tough."

Her eyes shimmered, a tear falling from the corner of her eye, "You still see me as a friend? I didn't think I had any more of those."

"of course i do." Pearl smiled, "It is going to take more than a bad attitude to scare me away. I have seen much worse."

"Okay..." Orange drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes and giving a small nod to pearl before looking at her again. Her eyes showed just how tired she was, both physically and emotionally, but she squeezed Pearl's hand all the same and asked, "Okay. What do I do, Pearl? How do i make this better?"

"First, you start by taking your supplements."

Orange laughed, a real laugh that had her shaking lightly in her mirth, "Seriously?"

"You are already so off color." Pearl placed a hand against Orange's cheek, the pale pallor of her skin becoming much more prominent against her dark gloves, "This scares me."

"Sorry."

"Do not apologize. Never apologize for feeling...less than yourself. You are under a lot of pressure, and change, and you have lost someone you love, and you feel like no one understands or cares."

Orange's head cocked to the side in question, eyes trying to find some answer on her face, "How do you know all these things, Pearl?"

"Because I have experienced similar things myself." Pearl answered softly.

"What did Pink do to you?" Orange asked just as softly, regretting it when Pearl's head ducked, her eyes looking away from her own.

"Forgive me, but I'm not...I'm not comfortable discussing that."

"It's okay..." Orange gave her hand another squeeze that Pearl responded with her own, raising her head to return a small smile, "I guess it's a shared experience then."

"Heh, yes, perhaps."

"Do you have time to sit with me a little while longer?"

"My Diamond has afforded me time to see to your needs. So yes." Orange released Pearl's hand, waiting as she turned from her kneeling position to take up the spot next to her by crossing her legs as she sat on the floor with her.

Orange raised an eyebrow at Pearl, a questioning look on her face, "How does she know your not off gossiping with the guards instead of being here?"

Pearl's smile was light, amused, "If I was doing that, White Diamond would know."

"But how? Does she have people reporting what they see all around the ship?"

"Something to that effect, yes."

"Ahh..." Orange nodded, realization washing over her face, "so that's how you were able to find me before."

"Yes. You may be able to lose your guards, but you can not really hide when your here." Pearl revealed.

Orange's lips turned down, looking somewhat disturbed by this news, "That's creepy...but good to know."

"Here" Pearl held out the tablets to Orange, who took them and slowly began to crunch them one by one between her teeth. "I've wondered, what do those taste like?"

Orange offered the plate back to her, "You could try one."

Pearl's turned up her nose, disgust on her face, "No thank you. A description will be fine."

"Eh. Honestly?" Orange popped another into her mouth, taking a moment to consider it, "they taste like I'm consuming processed chalk."

"Thats...disgusting."

"It is. I find eating them disgusting," the young diamond agreed, even as she put another into her mouth, "But I've gotten use to it." Orange popped the last few into her mouth, moving the bits to one side as she spoke to Pearl, "Okay, what now."

"Now, I believe a bath is in order, My Diamond. Forgive me, but you really do look awful."

"Im not aloud to leave my room. White's orders." Orange reminded.

"It is apart of your care, and i have been ordered to see to it."

"You know, its alarming when you pearls find a work around the orders you have been given. Amazing, and quite ingenious, but alarming."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Pearl smiled, "Now, I shall go see to it that things are prepared for you. Afterwards, i believe some actual rest is in order. "

Orange looked abashed, "It's not like I haven't been sleeping because I don't want to."

"I still have to ask you to try."

Orange ran a hand through her hair, pulling her hand away, looking somewhat disgusted by her own hand, wiping her palm on her tunic as she turned to look at Pearl as she unfolded herself from the floor, "Im still not very clear how all this is supposed to help me with my issues with White."

"Before you can tackle that issue, you should first take the time to take care of yourself." Pearl offered her hand, and Orange took it, allowing her to help her up, "you will never be able to work on your power's control if your worn out."

"I suppose you are right. Alright Pearl, I'll follow your lead."

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Next few chapters are going to be some fluffy flashback chapters, to take away some of the gloom of the last few.