Alexander Hamilton. June
they tell you reach for the stars, but don't prepare you for the disappointment when you can't catch them.
they say there is no limit. and we take it too literally. write like we're running out of time, we are running out of time. at least for me....

*back into beginning of diary*

Alexander Hamilton. May 19
Advanced, Accelerated, A+, A+
if it isn't Advanced with an A+ it isn't worth it.
I must work my way out

Alexander Hamilton. may 20th
A cute boy in Advanced English. I'm running out of time, this essay needs more points. Group of people I would like to call my friends. I'm running out of time, need to ace that essay. And the other essay, and the debate...

Alexander Hamilton. may 21
I saw him in the common area, eating and I blushed. No time to eat. I have to write. Got to work my way out. I'm running out of time.

Alexander Hamilton. may 22
A- minus in Advanced history. Mr. Washington said to write less. Burr laughed and said to talk less. Smile more. He doesn't understand he wasnt born poor.... I am running out of time. Have to get my words out fast. Work harder until I pass. Three shifts after class tonight, I hate this fight.

Alexander Hamilton. may 23
I have to keep my scholarship. Graduate before it runs out next year. I'm running out of time. Essays, no money for food tonight. Not like I have time to eat anyway. My paycheck goes to dad far away. Or else he'll come back, come back to hurt me. Cute boy walked by, I heard his name was John. No time. I have to work my way out.

Alexander Hamilton. may 24
John, his last name is Laurens. I dont have time for Laurens. Stop thinking about Laurens... Essays, need A's on my essays. Must work my way out. No sleep for the 3rd night this week. Half a poptart is all I can stomache tonight. I have to work my way out, but god I hate this fight.

Alexander Hamilton. may 25
B- Advanced biology. Cute boy Laurens sitting next to me. He got an A I could see. I broke down, don't let them know. I hate biology. I was doing good but this could cost me- it could cost me everything. Work 3 shifts, but I'm frantic the whole time. Need to focus on my studies. But I must get dad the money. Have to work my way out.

Alexander Hamilton. may 26
C+… Advanced Calculus... Prof. Adams staring down my neck... I am dead. Nothing matters. I could lose my future. Laurens sitting next to me, plastered on his page a B. Why is Laurens always there. Way can't I get him out of my head. The dam breaks. The emotions I've held back, the lack of sleep, the lack of food, it all gets out of its hiding place. For the first time I dont know what to write to describe it, im writing this entry months later. During that unstable time I lost my future, and almost my life... How does a smart young man not see how his own mental state is crumbling?

A/n how is it? I had the idea to do a story in diary entries and just rolled with it. I will do the next chapter in John's POV from may 21st to idk, but beyond where the last entry of Alex's went.

Constructive critism? Feedback?

Thanks potatoes and hoomans, I'm glad you read this =D