Who missed me?

5k+ words! Thank me by dropping comments, and then I might update again soon.

"Our wedding" Suhad corrected, reaching out to place his hands on Jannah's shoulder so as to calm her down, "Our wedding" He repeated, glaring at Fatimah who shrugged.

"What?" She asked feigning innocence, "Did she think you're getting married again or something? I thought we've passed that stage" Fatimah brushed past them, heading back to the gazebo knowing if she didn't keep a reasonable distance from Jannah, the girl will send her to an early grave for scaring her like that.

Jannah turned to look at her husband, knowing chasing Fatimah for answers is a lost cause, "Which wedding again?" She asked, confusion lacing her tone.

Suhad sighed, shaking his head as he intertwined his hands with hers, "I honestly do not know the details. She didn't tell me anything"

Jannah nodded.

"Come on, let's meet the others so I don't have to break any of my cousin's arms for trying to hit on you" He mumbled, making her chuckle as the two walked over to the gazebo.

Jannah didn't know why she didn't feel nervous when she walked along with her husband towards his family members. Maybe it's because the fact that she and Suhad are on talking terms surpasses the fear of meeting them. Or maybe the fear was just never there.

She had never been the one to care about others thoughts on her though she gets overly self-conscious sometimes.

She plastered a smile on her face, knowing since they are basically her in-laws, in some sort, she has to be friendly towards them. Especially since Suhad seems to get along with them, she wouldn't want them to go back to square one. Though, that being said will not stop her from retaliating if anyone says or does something to her.

She's Jannah after all, she doesn't back off from a fight after all. Ever.

Suhad took his earlier spot, scooting so his wife will have enough space. He waited for her to sit down first before he did, still holding her hands in his which didn't go unnoticed by any of the prying eyes of the company.

Suhad smiled at his cousins, and siblings---which included of Jameel, Jameela, Deen and of course, Fatimah, "Guys, meet my woman. My wife, Firdaus Jannah"

And that was when the hell of questions broke;

"When did you get married?"

"Daman kayi aure?"

"I was planning on shipping you with my friend fa!"

"So we finally get to meet your wife"

"Dude.... you're married?"

"Ammakaciamanagaskiya, you didn't tell me!"

"Guy I thought I was your best friend; how come I didn't know"

"HOLD UP!" One voice yelled, cutting the various people that kept throwing in remarks—nothing harmless about them though because though they are confused, they couldn't hate Suhad's wife. She seemed like a nice person.

Everyone snapped their gaze to the girl that spoke up. One that shared similar features to Jameela in a way, except she seemed nicer, "Y'all are talking nonsense. How come no one, and I mean no one, spoke about the wedding party we didn't have?! Imagine, Suhad got married, YerimaAlamin Suhad! And we didn't have any events?! Come on!" She said, out of exasperation and everyone quickly agreed with her.

"Guys..." Suhad tried to call their attention, but no one paid any heed to him because they were too busy complaining. "Guys!" Still, same as earlier.

"GUYS!" That was Fatimah, however, before she could speak, a girl cut her off.

"—And babes. Guys and Babes" She corrected, making some roll their eyes while some chuckled—including the couple in question.

Fatimah ignored her and continue, "I knew y'all would whine this—"

"—Whine? What did you take us for, fool?" Another girl interrupted, throwing a drink bottle cover at her.

This earned her a glare from Fatimah who seemed like she's trying to control her temper from being cut off.

"Whine like this. Which is why I started planning—"

"—A wedding party! We should definitely have a wedding party!" This time, it was a guy that cut her off, making the others agree with his idea. Some already pulling out their phone to check with caterers, event planners, and whatnot.

"OH DAMMIT!" Fatimah yelled out of frustration. She took her phone case and threw it at the guy that cut her off. He seemed to be younger than her, but one of those cocky kids that are experts in playing with girl's heart, taking advantage of their looks. He seemed to be that kind.

"Ouch" He exclaimed, rubbing his forehead where the phone case hit him. He turned to glare at her, "Wallahi if you're not careful sai in fasaauren kin ma. You should thank God I'm trying to help you seff since no one will marry someone with a temper like yours"

This made the others laugh at the two while Fatimah glared at him.

"Am I not older than you?" She asked, throwing him the best glares she could muster.

"Do I not have more sense than you?" He answered back.

This had her trying to get on her feet to smack him, when Deen held her wrist and dragged her back, "Careful Fatimah, just let him be" He chuckled, glancing at the boy who has his tongue stung out at her. And the guy is 21 years old for crying out loud!

"Wallahi Yaya Deen, yaronnanya rainani" Fatimah complained to her brother who was trying to calm down the raging bull that's his younger sister.

"Are they always like this?" Jannah leaned down to mutter to Suhad who chuckled.

He leaned down to her earn, "You have no idea" This made her chuckle.

"Better follow me slowly or I'll tell Aahil what you're doing" The boy threatened, and that was when the round of 'ou(s)' and 'aa(s)' from the others as they started to tease Fatimah who, if looks could kill, the boy would be six feet under.

Jannah's brows furrowed, "Who is Aahil?" She asked low enough for Suhad to hear.

Suhad shook his head, the smile that was on his face earlier stretched, "He's her best friend"

"Oh" Jannah muttered, pouting slightly, "I thought I was her best friend" She pretended to be hurt when in reality she was far from being angry.

This only made Suhad chuckle, which he seemed to be doing a lot, "He's been her best friend since childhood, they attended the same school. Nursery, primary and secondary school. The two are perfect together" He chose to ignore the fact that Fatimah has a crush on Kamal. He ships her and Aahil, but he would support her whoever she chose to be with.

"She has never mentioned him before though" Jannah muttered. If this Aahil guy really is Fatimah's best friend then why hasn't she ever mentioned him before?

"That's because, according to her that is, 'he's annoying'"

Jannah laughed lightly, "Now I would definitely love to meet this guy"

"Aahil and Fatimah sitting on a tree, g-e-t-t-ing married" Sang the young guy from earlier making everyone throw him a weird look.

"That's not how the song is, idiot" Said one of the girls.

"Whatever"

"We are never, ever, ever! Getting married. There's no 'us'...just, no!" Fatimah shivered at the thought of ending up with her best friend, someone that she has known since nursery. How can she ever marry someone that she played sand with? No thank you. She thought in her head.

"That's what she says" Sand the same boy from earlier.

"You know what? I am going to slap some sense into you" Fatimah looked around, trying to spot her shoes close by so she could smack some sense into the guy with it. She couldn't find it though, which resulted to her throwing him a glare instead.

"Y'all are getting off track right now...we're supposed to be thinking of Jannah and Suhad's wedding party" Said the same woman from earlier that brought the topic up.

This made everyone look at the couple.

"What?" Suhad asked, not knowing what to do about the sudden attention he and his wife are getting at the moment.

"Are we getting a wedding party or what?"

"Why are you asking him, of course we will!"

The others murmured in agreement to what Fatimah said.

"We should also have a photoshoot" One of the girls pointed out.

"And a cute Q and A video like that of #THAF21. I'm sure these two will give us something worth holding on to"

"Are you kidding me? Those are best friends, we should make Fatimah and Aahil make the video" The guy from earlier, who had been teasing Fatimah said, making the girl narrow her eyes at him.

Fatimah inhaled deeply, wanting to calm down so as not to say something that will result in her killing someone's son, or in this case, her uncle's son. "Let's focus on the new couple in town yeah?" She offered them a wide fake smile. She then turned to Suhad, "Just give us your permission and we'll plan everything"

Suhad looked at Jannah, letting her decide for them. They had issues they need to solve, and since the past few weeks had been a rough one for them, he would let her decide if she wants all these or not.

Jannah moved her gaze from him to the hopeful eyes of his cousins, she then smiled, "Okay" She nodded, and soon enough everyone was cheering.

All except one person who hasn't uttered a word since she arrived, Jameela. She glared at her sister in law, before she hissed, standing up and walking away.

Her action didn't go unnoticed, but it did go to waste because no one paid attention to her.

They were all too excited. They had a wedding to plan.

~*~

"Talk" Suhad said, locking the room door once both of them are in. He doesn't want to risk the chance of anyone listening in on their conversation or coming in. This is a problem they will solve as a married couple, the two of them—and no other nosy person would interrupt them.

Jannah sighed, playing with her fingers. She knew his loving and carefree side will only last for long, and now, judging by the way his lips are set into a tight line as he leaned on the wall, watching her, she knew it has ended. "I'm sorry" Were the only words she could mutter at the moment.

"If those words could fix everything, it would've long ago" He said coldly, feeling the anger that made him leave their him resurface. However, when he remembered Mai Martaba's words, his eyes softened. He sighed, "Look Jay, I don't want an apology, I just want an explanation"

"I don't have an explanation" She looked down, not saying a word more.

"You do. You need to open up. How can we work this out if you are too busy keeping secrets from me?" His voice raised slightly as he clenched his fists shut.

Jannah felt something she hasn't felt in a long time flare in her because of the words he just uttered, anger. She scoffed, looking away for only a fraction of a second before she looked back at him. She then took a step close to him, her finger pointed at herself, "I am the one keeping secrets?" She asked, her voice low but loud enough for him to hear her. "You dare look into my eyes and tell me that I am keeping secrets from you?Let's not be hypocrites Alamin, you are keeping secrets too, and I know that" She said through gritted teeth, moving her finger to point at him. Tears of anger and pain welled up in her eyes but she held it back, "But you don't see me pressuring you to tell me, do you?"

"Yes I admit. I have secrets too but you don't see me don't see me doing crazy stuff do you?" He raised a brow, someone managing to keep his anger at bay. Maybe it's because he feared she found out what his secret is. God knows he could not imagine how she will react to it.

In simple words, it would break her.

"Those crazy stuff Alamin..." She choked on her sobs. All her life she had taken people's thoughts on her rash behavior even when they know what the cause it but for Suhad to say that, it hurts more than all of them. Albeit he doesn't know the reason why, and she's partly to be blamed since she won't open up but still, it hurts. "...do you have any idea how much it hurts for me to abort my child?" Her voice came out low, her breathing heavy as she looked at him with tear filled eyes.

His eyes soften slightly. He had never thought form her perspective honestly. But then again, if it hurts, why would she do it? She caused the pain on herself really.

"I know you probably think I don't deserve to call myself a mother but I'll be damned if I let you, or anyone's words about that get to me anymore. I did what I did for a reason. And just like you aren't ready to tell me your secret, I'm not ready to tell you this too. You know why? Because it'll be the end of us, and I would be damned!" She exhaled deeply, "...If I let that happen to us"

Suhad stared at her for a while, contemplating on what to do. In all accounts, she was right. In a way, she's wrong to not tell him her reason since it affected him too but he understands her fear. He feels the same way too.

Frankly speaking, they are both at fault for keeping secrets. And those secrets might be the end of them and whatever it is they have going.

Instead of the yells she expected from him, he held her arm and pulled her to him in for a hug. "I'm sorry for not thinking about you" He whispered."I promise; I'll wait until you're ready to tell me"

"And you'll trust me enough to tell me your secret?"

He stilled for a moment before he nodded, "Yeah. Yes, I will" He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more but she didn't notice it. "You know I love you right?" He whispered, leaning down to place a dotting peck on her temple.

"I know" She nodded.

"Good. So that means you're stuck with me for the rest of your life"

She hummed, "I hope so" She muttered not convinced in the slightest way, but she wouldn't burst that bubble for him.

It's only a matter of time. Soon, their story will end.

They just can't be together. And she knew that.

So for that moment, she'll be selfish. She'll be selfish enough to keep him away from her demons. She'll be selfish by pretending she knows nothing when she knows everything. She'll be selfish by giving him false hopes of happily ever after, when really, for them—it's never after.

She clenched her eyes shut to hold in the tears, "I love you" She muttered, knowing that she only has so little time to say it, "So much. Don't ever forget that"

She felt him loosen his hold around her, trying to see her face but that only made her tighten her hold around him. She couldn't let him see her like that. At least, not yet.

Not now at least.

~*~

Jannah sighed, bored of sitting alone in Suhad's room alone already. Suhad left to meet up with some royal people whatever, she doesn't do those kind of stuff so she's not familiar with the words he uses and whatnot. Fatimah was supposed to come five minutes ago but girl hasn't arrived yet, and Jannah was bored to say the least. She listened the woman from MTN ramble about how the person she's calling is not picking up, this made her roll her eyes. "Where's this girl?" She muttered, carelessly throwing her phone on the bed.

She waited for a couple of minutes more, eventually, she realized that the girl is nowhere to be found. So, she stood up, fixed her veil, picked up her phone and slipped into her heels with the intention of going out on her own. She was determined to not stay cooped up in the room for a minute more. She had done enough of that already.

The door opened as she twisted the doorknob. Stepping out, her heel clank on the marble floor of the brightly lit pathway. She stared at her left which lead to a door, then to her left which has the same identical door. She internally cursed herself for not having a good memory of paths. She couldn't remember which way Suhad had lead her in earlier. There was no sound of life there, no chatters or sounds of footsteps that would've enabled her to know which way to go.

"Nothing can go left if you right, right?" She muttered to herself, somehow finding sense in what she just said. She decided to go down the right path, leaving the left as second option. She walked towards the path, the sound of her heels being the only sound heard.

Just as she reached the door, a hand stretched out and pulled her back. The surprise attack made her shriek. Eyes widened, she turned to look at the person at fault for her racing heart. Her brows drew in close when she couldn't point a finger at the person, "You scared me" She muttered, looking at the woman that had her lips set into a tight line.

"Firdausi, right?"

Jannah blinked, "I'm sorry.... have we met before?" She asked, trying to sound as polite as she can and not say something about the way the woman scared her, and the look she's giving her which is all shade uncomfortable.

"Listen... I'll just get straight to the point"

"Um...what point exactly?"

"I never interfered your marriage life with Suhad, because you make him happy, and as long as he's happy, I have no problem with that" The woman said, the grim look on her face not faltering one bit. "However...."

Jannah blinked again, she didn't like the woman's tone one bit. It didn't take a genius to know that what she'll say is something that will not end in her favor. However, she kept shut.

"You're not good for him"

"Excuse me?" She had heard that countless time before, and she knew that.

"I had looked after that boy since he was a baby, he's basically a son to me. And you know what? I won't let anything hurt him, not anyone, not you"

Jannah's brows drew in a bit as she put the pieces of the puzzle in place. There's only one woman who raised Suhad, and it's not his mother nor Didi, "You're Jakadiya, right?" Despite hearing what the woman said, that was the only thing that came to her mind.

Jakadiya's eyes narrowed slightly, "Didn't you hear anything I said?"

"I heard you" Jannah nodded, "And I know you only want what's best for Suhad, we all do but it's not fair for you to just say that to me out of the blue. Whatever problems we have, we are old enough to solve it on our own without anyone interfering. If we wanted the adults opinion we would've said something. So, as much as you don't want him to be hurt, please let us handle our marital issues alone"

Jakadiya scoffed, she couldn't see how the girl still has the confidence to say that to her after everything she did. "You're talking as if you know everything" She said, wanting to mock the girl.

Jannah bit her lip not to say a word to let the woman know that she knows everything. If she slips off and reveals it, that might be the end of everything they built.

"Do you know how much pain you caused him?" Jakadiya asked, stepping closer to Jannah. Just the thought of the position the boy was in earlier had her eyes welling up. She knew he still isn't well; she just saw him not even ten minutes ago leaning against a wall in the living room, sweats dripping from his forehead as he took some of the pills. He was pretending to be strong around everyone, and for the sake of his wife when he's far form being strong. "Do you know what he's going through?" Jakadiya's voice came out barely above a whisper as she glared at Jannah.

Jannah gulped. She wanted to ask what he's going through, but fear of losing him overcame that desire to figure out.

Jakadiya nodded and looked away, seeing as the girl has no answer to her questions. She inhaled deeply before she turned to look at Jannah. "I'm begging you..." This time her voice came out as just a whisper, "Dan Allah leave the boy alone. He's all I have, he's all his mother has, he's all we have, we can't lose him" She whispered, the tears she held in sliding down her wrinkled cheeks. No matter what, the boy has and will always be a child to her and just the thought of losing him scared her.

How would a mother feel knowing that the life of her son is at stake?

Jannah's eyes welled up at the sight of the woman. However, she blinked it back, knowing that for the time, she has to be strong. She'll have enough time to cry later. Instead, she asked the one question that has been bothering her, "Why do you think that me leaving will solve any of this?"

"If you leave, no one will hurt him"

Jannah smiled bitterly, biting the inside of her cheek as she blinked back the tears. "Not even the woman you want him to marry?"

Jakadiya shook her head, chuckling humorlessly, "You should know by now that the only people that can hurt him are the people he loves. No one else can hurt him if not you"

Jannah had to bit her cheek hard so as to not let the tears drop. She knew the woman is right. Only she could hurt him? And at what price? Does she have to hurt everyone that loves her before she realizes that she's not good for anyone? Her disappearance might just be the solution everyone needs at the moment.

Jakadiya reached her hand out and held Jannah's hands. The sudden action had Jannah looking at her with tear filled eyes. "Please Firdausi, I am pleading with you, leave him please. For both your sakes"

"Leaving him will only hurt him more" Jannah whispered, as the tears blurred her gaze.

"And staying will kill me slowly. Which do you prefer?"

Jannah slid her hand out of the woman's. She looked away, biting her lower lip hard as she clenched her fists. "Can you let us be happy for now"

"Firdausi—"

"I wasn't asking" Jannah cut her off as she sniffed back the tears. She should not shed any tears for now. These are her happy days, and she would enjoy it to the fullest. "I'll make the decision that's best for my family. For now, you should all just stay away from us please. Let us be happy. We deserve it after all" She side stepped Jakadiya and walked back in the direction of their room, "If I'm going to do what you said, I might as well happy for now. I deserve this one chance" She muttered to herself.

Once she reached the room, she locked the door and leaned on it. Instead of crying just as everyone would expect her to, she slid down and closed her eyes shut. She refused to let the tears fall, not now.

She'll have enough time to cry later.

For now, she'll stay strong and smile like nothing's going now. Yes, they both deserve that happiness.

~*~

"Babe" Jameel called out as he walked into the apartment he rented for Sarah in Gombe. He looked around, trying to spot his wife but there was no sign of her in the living room. So, he made his way over to their bedroom where he spotted her figure perched on the bed.

Her gaze rested on the wall in front of her, she seemed lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear him call her or hear the sound of him opening the door. Her hand rested on her thigh, lips tilted into a deep frown.

"Babe..." he called again, making his way over to her. Still, she didn't snap from her trance. He sat on the bed beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder.

This made her jerk out of her train of thoughts. She snapped her head towards him, eyes widened. Her posture eventually relaxed when she saw it was just him.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, placing his hand on her cheek and caressing it.

She bit her lower lip and shook her head. She could feel the welling up in her eyes, which made her look away from him—not wanting him to see it.

But it was too late, because he saw it. He held her chin with his fingers and turned her head around, forcing their eyes to meet. Her brows furrowed when he saw the tears in her eyes, "What wrong, what happened?"

She simply closed her eyes as the tears fell. She wasn't faking the emotion she felt at the moment. Yes, she tricked him times without number and had faked a lot of emotions but not this.

"Is this about my family? I promise I'll—"

She pulled the object she hid beside her and placed it beside him. "I'm pregnant Jameel"

His hand stilled on her face, "What?"

She bit her lower lip harder as the tears fell. She knew she made a mistake when she fell for him. It wasn't part of the plan but she really did. And with everything going on in their lives, a baby is the last thing they need. Not when her father is out there making her do hideous things. Not when Jameel is yet to introduce her to his family—if he ever will that is. And definitely not with the chaos going on in both their families and the a major one Jabeer is plotting in just a few days to come.

Jameel's gaze moved to the pregnancy test, which showed that she clearly is pregnant—with his child. "Are you sure?" He whispered, his eyes still not moving from the pregnancy test.

She nodded, "Yes. I went to the hospital earlier and confirmed it" She then looked up, hoping the tears would go back, but they just kept spilling. "Look Jameel, I know you don't want this but—"

He cut her off by pulling her in for a deep osculate, stopping all the words from spilling out of her mouth. She on the other hand was taken aback, but nevertheless kissed him back. When he pulled back, he pecked her lips again before pulling back fully to look at her, "Sarah I'm happy. We're having our own family. That's all I ever want"

"But I thought..." She trailed off, not having the words to explain herself as she waves her hand frantically. When she finally found the right words, she looked at him with teary eyes, "What about your family?" She whispered. Her hands falling by her side.

"I'm introducing you to them, it's why I brought you here" He smiled, taking her hands in his. He brought then up to his lips and pecked them, "It's about time they finally meet my wife, and now, the mother of my child" His eyes moved to her belly, which held his child.

As much as that made her happy, she still couldn't find it in her to feel elated. Her past...the things she did—which she regrets—will eventually catch up to her. And with a child now, she wasn't sure how her life would turn out to be. "But Jameel...I-I-I did bad things..." Her lip quivered as the tears cascade down her face, "terrible things" Her body shook with each tear that fell.

Jameel shushed her and then pulled her into his arms, letting her lean on his as she cried. "I know" He whispered simply, making her still in his arms.

"You do?" She muttered, fear slowly eating her up. "What do you know?"

"Taking money from our account and sending it to someone" He stated, hand rubbing her arms to calm her down though he knew letting her know about her actions would scare her more than she already is. He had to speak to her about it though. He'd kept it in and played her game from the beginning, and he now, he doesn't plan on letting their child get caught up in that.

"Since when?"

"The beginning" How could she think that he won't notice the millions she takes from their account and then claim that they are broke? He might not be as rich as his brother, but he sure is as smart—maybe more.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I know you have a reason for doing it. I mean it when I say I love you Sarah, I do and that means, I'll try and understand the most absurd decision you make"

Sarah chocked on her sobs. She bit her lip so hard she could taste blood on her buds. She clenched his shirt with her fist tightly, barely able to muffle her sobs, "I am so sorry Jameel. I didn't have a choice, I..."

"Shhh" he shushed her, rocking her in his arms slightly, "It's okay. I forgive you"

"But it's not just you Jameel. I did it to other people too. I did really bad things to them. I don't know what to do"

"Then you should apologize and help rectify the situation. Always remember this though Sarah, I'll always have your back. It's you and me in this Babe, always. Forever"

~*~

So I have good news!

I don't who included me in his/her Ramadan prayers, but it worked. I'm not moving this book till I'm done uploading it here and then maybe move it the next day (I'm not sure yet. I'm indecisive honestly). And even then, I'm not moving it to Okadabooks but to a platform known as INKHOOD. It's a website, so it'll be easy to access in case you want to check it out there.

EID MUBARAK!

I'm back now, I took a break hence why I've been inactive. Though, as always, I don't update in Ramadan so that counts too (This goes to people who had been sliding into my dm and 'nicely' claiming how unfair I've been and asking me to update). I honestly see all messages in my dm, I open them too I just choose to ignore y'all that sound rude because if I reply to such messages, it won't be nice. Trust me.

Anyways, I hope all the prayers we made in Ramadan will be answered. May Allah accept our deeds, Ameen.

Also, if you're interested in becoming a writer on Inkhood, please send me a dm and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

I've said a lot already so ciao! I'll be waiting for my Eid Pepsi.

Love, Jannah.