*kindly read at your own risk. Thank you.*

I have been playing with my tears every night since then....

A lustrous morning came everyday
And threw me in some deserted hay,
I kept quiet till I could stay,
but no longer till A BETRAY.

I've seen nights screaming,
me playing with my body
till I got exhausted of pleasures
which were never mine, ever.

Tears dancing over my face,
my hands burning on fire pace.
I slightly took it between my legs
just to assure, I won't have cries

But I had regrets....
never like ever.

My tears grew large with eyes small,
silently it all went dark
it wasn't scary, but merry.
I had no worries, no smiles
It was not beautiful, not disgusting

It was PEACE. Like I had no breaths,
no issues.

Holy heaven calls me.
Holy heaven calls me.

I left my pen forever after that.

A/n: this is a story of a girl who had mental disorders. she had been fighting for two years till one day she discovers masturbation to tell herself she was meant to be loved. Her toothpick body was not ugly at all. It was perfect. Her flaws were her beauty. She was flawless. But she had regrets and thinks it's a sin according to her family. Having sexual urges is not a sin. It's normal. She dies that night while in her sleep. It's all dark and peace around.