|Title-less|

And now when I think of you..
I don't feel the same,
I don't get butterflies in my stomach,
I don't get blush on my cheeks,
I don't get nostalgia in my eyes when I see our future,
I don't smile like I used to.

There is some weirdness surrounding me.
Every moment. Every second.

I don't want to think about you,
Insecurity or fear I can't figure out.
Smiles or tears, I don't know what flows.
My poetry trembles when I start writing,
Words resign and I keep counting.

Even if I try to control my mind,
It stops and then flows about you.

I want to go back, in my nutshell,
In my land, in that fairytale world
Which at least cares for me,
Assures me I m not alone internally,
Even if my loved ones do so,
I don't feel.

The sensation died off.
Self esteem shutted off and smile lies vacant in the balcony.
It doesn't want to return.
So do I.
I have travelled this long away from where I guess, I want peace.
Not to bother people about my antics, deeds.
I don't even want sadness neither smiles.
I just want to be hard and so selfish that probably my heart beat stops affecting my soul.