losing a parent wasn't something that anyone was really prepared for, dakota thought. after all, how could someone ever properly prepare for something as tragic as the loss of a close family member? this, she imagined, had to be worse than any other agony she could face.

of course, she'd lost peter to the blip. that had sucked, zero out of ten, not fun. but the thing about losing peter was that it had been only one devastating loss out of millions. while she was grieving, so was the rest of the world that remained. and, because no one knew of his superhero identity, she didn't have to see his face on every magazine she passed.

her father, however, was everywhere. tony stark's face was plastered onto every single billboard, every news site, every article, and spray painted onto every wall. kodie couldn't go anywhere without seeing her father's portrait; either as himself or in the suit of iron that he wore.

it was the sweetest irony, she supposed, that he'd done the very thing thanos had said he hoped he would: humanity remembered him. maybe that was his farewell, his silent middle finger to the man who had brought upon his death.

humanity, along with dakota, seemed to grieve for him, if in their own way. every time she would see a candle-light shrine or a peaceful remembrance, a small smile would crack onto kodie's lips, even for a moment.

dakota wondered if the transition would be easier if she still had the other avengers to lean on. thor had gone off on his own, bruce banner had gone back to bettering himself. steve rogers had finally made a decision for himself and had gone back in time to be with peggy carter, and clint barton was with his family.

perhaps the transition would be easier if she still had hazel. hazel rogers had left with bucky barnes to discover what they could about their past. they were following a lead on zemo, and the last that dakota had heard was that they were about to get to the bottom of hydra's winter soldier project.

dakota couldn't possibly ask any of the avengers to leave their current endeavors for her sake, so she was choosing to move on in the only way she knew how. constant business. she was working for stark industries, working for charities, and doing absolutely anything she could to avoid thinking about the death of tony stark. 

losing her father had made dakota ever more sarcastic and ever more closed off from the world, if either thing was possible. she'd been forced to grow up a lot in her life, but now more than ever. it was as if the entire world had pointed her out in a crowd and had told her "hey, you, asshole, grow up! you're not a kid anymore! and, by the way, your dad's dead!". or, so she had put it when explaining it to her therapist.

oh, yeah, that was the other thing. dakota ashlynn stark, surprising as it was, was in therapy. kodie hated the idea of being vulnerable, and hated the thought of admitting that she needed help. after tony died, though, it was undeniable that she could no longer pretend that she was one hundred percent fine.

but, stubborn as always, dakota had refused to go to anyone directly about her feelings. it was only when aunt may put a hand on her shoulder and said "i think you should go to a therapist to talk about this" that she even considered the possibility of talking to a professional. so, she got online and scheduled an appointment with the nearest person she could find.

her therapist was nice, as far as therapists went, she assumed. dakota was extremely superstitious at all times, always wondering if someone would turn on her at any moment. having a therapist felt like betraying a barrier she'd put up on herself; a promise to never allow the public eye to know about her feelings. but, despite how foreign the help was, it certainly was helping, and even the stark girl couldn't deny that.

she still, however, hadn't brought up the topic of her guilt to her therapist. shannon, so her name was, was an older woman with gray curly hair that she tossed up into a headband and ponytail. she wore glasses and a wardrobe built of skirts and infinity scarves... both being things that dakota wished she could give the woman fashion advice on. shannon was incredibly kind and listened to all that dakota had to say, but the girl still couldn't bring herself to say much.

guilt was the real problem, if she was being honest. guilt was what ate her alive and spit her back out, what haunted her nightmares and plagued her thoughts. she knew, somewhere deep down, that her father's death couldn't have been her fault. after all, it was thanos who had caused all of the events of the blip.

and, yet, it was dakota herself who had been so dead set on making the time travel device. who was so eager to bring back the other half of the universe that she didn't even consider consequences. it was dakota who was so wrapped up in the return of her beloved peter that she barely even registered when the gauntlet had slipped onto her father's hand.

she often replayed the scene in her head. if things had gone differently, maybe she would've been the one to snap her fingers. maybe tony would still be alive. things would be better that way, she thought, if tony was alive. the people loved him, evidently, and she doubted that their love for her ran as deep.

what didn't help with the guilt was that she was trying so desperately to be there for morgan, and to make sure her little sister didn't think that anything was wrong; that everything was okay and there was no reason to be upset at all. the pretending only made her feel more guilty.

guilt was a monster that kodie couldn't shake, and also one that she didn't feel comfortable sharing aloud with anyone, including her therapist. well, anyone except for peter.

her relationship with peter seemed so natural to her, almost as natural as breathing. the two fit together so perfectly, and just made sense. after peter had denied to say that he loved her back, dakota had to admit that she had felt extremely stupid and extremely embarrassed. she had always been more headstrong and courageous than him when it came to sharing things like that, but she had expected him to reply right away with the three words she'd wanted to hear. when he didn't, she awkwardly tried to forget about the situation entirely.

the two then moved on as if nothing had happened, which was a relief, since the embarrassed dakota wanted to pretend that she hadn't just made a fool of herself by spilling the l word too soon. 

but, despite not saying the words, peter definitely seemed to be making an explicit effort to show that he did, in fact, love her. she was the person he wanted to take him to the airport for his school trip, to check his bags, and to be there when he got home.

dakota was at his apartment now, prepared to pick peter up to take him to the airport. she climbed up the stairs of the now familiar building, smiling as she made it to the seventh floor that her boyfriend and his aunt resided in.

aunt may opened the door upon hearing a knock, smiling as she saw dakota. the two had become close since the blip's reversal, with may being the one to convince dakota into therapy and everything. though they'd never had ill feelings towards each other, they didn't realize until they were practically talking every day that they hadn't had the chance to talk to each other much previously. now, dakota felt safe to confide anything to the woman.

peter was in his room, as usual, finishing up packing for his trip. his back faced kodie, and the girl wrapped her arms around his waist from behind to hold him to her body in a hug. he chuckled at the feeling, even though he must have previously sensed her presence, spinning around in her arms so he could hug her properly. "you got everything?" dakota asked, noticing that his iron spider suit was hovering in the corner of the room.

"yeah, i got everything." peter confirmed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "i was thinking.." he trailed off, looking down at his bags before meeting her gaze nervously. "what if you came with me on the trip? you don't have to, but.." he trailed off.

she gave him a somewhat incredulous look, not sure that she was following. "pete, i'd love to..." she said. "but i need to be there for morgan, and... i don't want to just crash your field trip, i'm not a student at midtown." she reasoned.

the boy nodded, still persistent. "i know, but it would be really fun if you went! you obviously wouldn't stay with us the whole time, but you could meet up with me at some parts of the trip and we could go sight seeing or something."

even though dakota didn't know of his plans to admit his feelings for her while in europe, therefore the reasoning behind his insistence that she join the trip, she could clearly tell that this was important to him.

"i can try to come to the second half." she suggested. "like, when you're in paris or something, okay?"

"really?" peter's face lit up like a christmas tree, and he kissed her, smiling as she let out a chuckle at his excitement. "just let me know when you can be there. this will be so fun!"

kodie and peter said goodbye to may,  and the girl insisted on helping peter carry his bags to her car (as if he didn't have superstrength and only about three bags). a few people had gathered around her car in the time that she'd been in the building, and multiple were clad with cameras in their hands, prompting dakota to put on her sunglasses; a sign that she didn't want to be talked to, stuffing peter's bags into her trunk while ignoring the questions the reporters asked.

peter helped with the bags before climbing into the passenger's side, too off guard by the cameras to think about opening her door for her like he normally would. questions from the paparazzi normally rolled off of her back, but as she got into the car one of the reporters leaned in too close, a phone now in front of dakota's face. "dakota, is spider-man the new iron man?"

⎊‎⎊‎⎊

dakota leaned on her kitchen counter, ignoring morgan, who was sitting on her foot while hugging what she could reach of her leg. "i don't know what you think i've been doing these past few months, but hunting down a giant sand monster? not on the list." she told nick fury, her phone squished between her shoulder and ear.

"that's not what i suggested. i suggested that you and your boyfriend get in contact with me as soon as possible because of the giant sand monster i just had the pleasure of hunting." the man replied calmly, his voice as laced with sarcasm as ever. "in case you've forgotten, you still have a job with s.h.i.e.l.d."

honestly, kodie had forgotten pretty much entirely about her prior allegiance to s.h.i.e.l.d. she had been hoping to be trained as an agent, wanting to improve what little fighting skills she'd had at the time. a fascination with simply building new gadgets had distracted her from her original goal, and she'd learned what she'd needed from natasha anyway. but, nonetheless, she had made a commitment to s.h.i.e.l.d. and, therefore, a commitment to nick fury, whether she was still an agent or not.

"still, don't understand how this is my problem." she insisted. "fuck, fury, i thought i said i wanted a break for a while after, you know, my dad died. so why do you want me to come help you with some issue that, frankly, anyone else could help with instead?"

before fury could come up with a response, a much less threatening voice spoke up. "fuck!" morgan exclaimed, looking up at her sister whose eyes quickly widened.

"no." dakota said, appalled by her choice of words. "no no no no, morgan, we mustn't." she told her sister, finally picking her up from her place on the floor to place her onto her hip. "sorry, i've accidentally just extended her vocabulary." kodie explained to fury, putting the phone back to her ear. "anyway, unless this gets more serious, please, and i'm being serious here, fury, ask absolutely anyone but me."

with that, she pressed the red button on her screen, ending the call.