Declan will do pretty much anything when it comes to Nadia. A side effect, he's afraid, of being completely, unrelentingly in love with her.

     He blames her for a lot of his more than friendly feelings and the thoughts that accompany them. Blames her for laughing with a snort and for the disaster hair bleaching incident that left her with orange streaks all through sophomore year. Blames her for having chipmunk cheeks he can't stop imagining running his nose against, can't stop imagining using her dimples as oxygen pockets.

     So yeah, he's a little more than in love with Nadia. But it's her fault.

     He's up early only because it's Nadia who's requested something of him, and he's sleep deprived because he stayed up half the night with her, too. She'd probably say that bit was all him, because they could've seen a chick flick yesterday night but it was his turn to choose. So they saw The Conjuring.

     Nadia was silent the whole ride back to her house, a far cry from the usual. By the time Declan had gotten home she was calling him.

     "Dec, please just sing me a couple of songs and I swear I'll fall asleep and then you can hang up. Come on, my dad's not here and come on, pleaseeeee."

     A couple of songs turned into hours of talking, and singing and laughing. Declan didn't like to sing (he composed music, that was his thing) but he sometimes did that for Nadia. You don't really have control over symptoms, you just figure out a way to survive with them. Some people would probably self medicate, but alcohol has a way of amplifying everything.

     Staying up that late wasn't necessarily the problem, and staying up late for Nadia wasn't really anything new. When they were away at school she kept him on the phone at all hours of the night even though he was a five second drive down Massachusetts Ave.

     Plus, its the summer. He's back from college, and he doesn't work on the weekends. He can probably sleep till noon before his mom wakes him up. But Nadia desperately needs someone to go shopping with her and in his sleep deprived state, Declan reluctantly agreed to be that someone.

     When he pulls up to her house, she's already waiting outside, sitting on the wooden railing of her front porch. She hops down when she hears Declan's car, moving towards him with more energy in her step than he can fathom. They both had stayed up late. He doesn't focus on that for long, since she's sliding into the passenger seat smelling fragrant like ginger and peaches.

     "Hey," he says aiming for casual. He can never be sure that he isn't giving himself away, even with something as simple as a Hey. Any word, no matter how innocuous, can sound like I love you if you say it right and feel it strongly enough.

     "Morning," she responds cheerfully with a grin as she turns to look at him. He ruffles his hair, self-consciously.

     Nadia laughs. "Here, I'll help." She reaches over before Declan can say anything and brushes back his hair. Their fingers meet at first and he drops his hand away, clutching at the steering wheel the way some grit their teeth against pain.

     Declan takes a slow breath trying to pull it together. He and Nadia have been friends for too long for this to suddenly become a problem. His friend can touch his hair without him losing his mind, damn it. He is not that weak.

     "There," she says softly breath ghosting over his temple. "Much better." Okay, maybe he is that weak.

     "Uh thanks," he says his voice stumbling on its way past his lips. "Urban Outfitters right?" he asks stiltedly, trying to return to some normalcy and she nods.

     Nadia's back to sitting in the passenger seat facing forward, casually, like nothing just happened. Something clearly just happened because Declan is too aware of all his pulses – the one in his neck and hand and that one just south of his waist. He's too distracted by his friend and it doesn't make sense because he got over this so many years ago.

     Nadia pulls her legs up onto the seat like she always does and then removes his phone from the aux cord. It always amazes Declan how his seats can practically dwarf her. Sometimes it feels like she's going to curl up and disappear into the upholstery.

     It's almost stage magic because she has these limbs that seem to go on for days, even though she's really quite short and she's not really small in any means – frame or personality. But somehow she curls up and disappears right before his eyes.

     They drive in sleepy silence.