You'd think by the way Declan, and everyone else in the room for that matter, was acting that they'd have to bump uglies. A kiss was nothing. It is nothing, Declan tries to reason with himself. 

     Shelby crawls into the center and grabs the phone, holding it up to her face. "French kiss," she reads with a very amused tone. She holds the phone out to Nadia, who's giving nothing away, and says, "You could always spin again."

     Nadia comes to, and shakes her head with a grin that doesn't quite reach her eyes and a laugh. "No, why would I do that? Defeats the purpose of the game." She meets Declan's eyes and now he's imagining Nadia topless. Except it's not really imagining so much as remembering because he knows exactly what that looks like.

     "It's not that big a deal," she says raising her eyebrows as if she wants Declan to say it is. Because he does think it's a big deal, it's a huge fucking deal. "I mean you've already seen me topless, right?" She laughs. Declan doesn't. "And it's just a kiss."

     Jaime adds, "With tongue." He's still laughing.

     Declan wants to sock him but he's basically immobilized. Nadia crawls towards him and Fiona on the other side of him gives him a shove, so he maybe slides forward a little. It gives Nadia the chance to grab his shirt and pull him to the center with her. She doesn't say anything but he hears what she's saying, what she would be saying if all their friends weren't crowding around them.

     "Relax, Declan. I'm not going to kill you."

     "Remember," Quinn says in a singsong voice. "With tongue."

     As if he was going to forget that part. Nadia looks at him like she's laughing about the whole thing but Declan is cursing his luck. And thinking there is no way he'll recover from this. And that their friendship is about to change.

     While he thinks all these things he decides that if this is it, the one and only chance he'll have to kiss Nadia and probably the last time things will be easy, or easier than they'll be after this, then he's going to make it count.

     He wants to slow it down, take stock of everything that is going on around him and in front of him. He wants to slide his nose against her cheek like he's fantasized, remember the way she smells and how soft her skin is. He wants to kiss her so slow that it almost doesn't feel like kissing at all. He wants to enjoy it.

     But Nadia is fast, pressing her lips to his like they're in fifth grade, hiding behind a tree at recess and trying to get their first kisses over and done with. She places her palm down on his shoulder, anchoring him to his spot. He doesn't even realize that he's pulling away – if he's pulling away it's because it's too much. He will lose his mind kissing Nadia.

     The speed that she started with doubles-back, giving him a pace he can work with. Her mouth is hot, a lot warmer than he expected like her temperature has been permanently altered by all the gum she chews. She's not chewing gum right now. He knows this because she has opened her mouth and he is feeling his way along her tongue and pressing against her teeth.

     She pulls back and he thinks right this is just a dare and remembers that he's in a room of his closest friends and the kiss has to end sometime. But she doesn't end it, just turns her mouth and presses her tongue to his lips so he'll let her in. Her tongue strokes the roof of his mouth like she's trying to tap out Morse code on his hard palate, emphasis on the hard.

     His throat emits a sound that he tries to clamp down on but is incapable of doing and then hopes it was soft enough that it got lost between their mouths. Nadia pulls away so slowly that he opens his eyes and can't see anyone but a close-up of her face. Her cheeks are flushed, and her lips are wet with his spit. And really, he shouldn't be turned on by that but he is.

     He clears his throat and leans back until his butt hits the floor. Someone better fucking say something before he does. And he knows the only thing he's going to be capable of saying is going to ruin his friendship with Nadia.

     Jaime goes, "My turn" and Declan is so thankful he almost turns around and kisses him (Jaime would let him, too because Declan knows that he 'just loves people, man'). Declan slides back into his spot, instead and makes a point of not looking at Nadia or bailing the fuck out of that circle because he knows that's just going to give him away. He's pretty sure that kiss alone has done the trick, though.

     He knows for a fact that Jaime knows he has some kind of feelings for Nadia, though he isn't sure if Jaime knows the extent of those feelings. And Shelby has alluded to it, once or twice.

     He decides to wait a round before he excuses himself to the kitchen under the pretense of grabbing another drink. He does grab another drink (he needs like five to be incapacitated enough to handle this situation) but that isn't the reason he leaves the group.

     He's shot-gunning a beer in the sink when Nadia storms in, and snaps, "Holy fucking shit." It makes Declan snort beer and while he chokes, he wonders if this means he'll get drunk faster. Nadia repeats herself, this time louder. Declan knows she knows and she's going to freak out on him and honestly rightfully so because he's the one who screwed everything up by falling in love with her like that's on him.

     He holds a finger to his mouth because he knows his friends are just on the other side of the wall listening to them, and then points to the door. Nadia stares at him, eyebrows furrowed before storming outside. He follows, hesitantly.

     She turns around once they're a little ways into the backyard and he says quickly, "Look I know—."

     She cuts him off saying, "Why the fuck is that first time we've kissed?"

     "What?" he asks, taking a step back.

     "Declan, we've been friends for so long. Why have we never kissed before?" she asks again, crossing her arms but not looking as threatening as she did in the kitchen. He mumbles something incoherent because he really doesn't know how to answer that. She juts her head forward and goes, "Hm?"

     "Cause we're friends?" he tries.

     "That kiss was not friendly," she retorts.

     He flushes and his stomach drops because Jesus, a kiss can give him away. Of all the things, it's a kiss. He kind of thinks its worth it (totally worth it).

     He is a bundle of nerves when he says softly, "No. French kisses aren't usually friendly."

     She rolls her eyes. "You know that's not what I mean."

     "Well what exactly do you mean, Nadia?" he asks because now he's not so sure that she knows he's so foolishly in love with her and if she doesn't know that he wants to know what she thinks she knows.

     She crosses her arms, and he thinks maybe she's nervous, too. "Come on," she says not really annoyed but more like she wants him to stop messing around with her. "You didn't..." she trails, and takes a step back, turning her head slightly like she's confused. "You didn't feel anything?"

     She has no clue, he realizes. Literally, she has no clue how he feels and awesome. They can recover from this.

     He doesn't want to recover from this though. He wants this to be the beginning of something. But he's not exactly sure that's the right thing (it probably isn't) so he pushes down all his stupid feelings.

     "Don't read into it," he says shaking his head. "Seriously, Nad, just drop it. Please."

     She looks at him and he gets nothing. Is she upset? Is she going to push this? No, she shrugs her shoulders, and lets out a breath. "Okay," she says quietly. "It was nothing. Just a kiss."

     "Exactly," he says. "So we're good?" She nods. He steps towards her and nudges her shoulder so she'll follow, nodding his head towards the door. "Come on everyone's going to be wondering what's up with us."

     It's a little after two in the morning when everyone decides to call it quits. Quinn is passed out on the couch, and Parker, the EMT of the group, has ensured the safety of her airway before beginning his walk home with Fiona. Jaime and Shelby are spending the night together because the spin the phone game worked in their favor.

     Declan and Nadia are standing outside Shelby's house, Nadia with an amused expression while Declan curses at his phone. "I can't believe she fell asleep."

     "It's late," Nadia says in defense of his sister.

     "I told her two."

     "It's not the end of the world."

     "What are you talking about? We're stranded at Shelby's. And her and Jaime are so caught up in each other I doubt we could pull them away to drive us."

     Nadia is grinning, her teeth glowing against her skin and the darkness around them. "Come on, we'll just walk."

     "That's a long ass walk."

     "Not if we cut through the field," Nadia reasons already leading the way down the street. Declan grumbles before following her, annoyed by the whole days events. It's been too much strain on him and he finished his pack of cigarettes so he has nothing to keep him calm.

     Nadia doesn't keep him calm, he knows. She does the opposite. Keys him up real good. Cause she's damn unpredictable. And things are weird between them. Have been all day, really. And he doesn't know how to fix it, not even sure if it can be fixed.

     "Wow," she says with awe making Declan look at her funny. She pokes his side and goes, "Look at the sky."

     "You look at the sky," he retorts.

     "No, really, Dec, look how pretty the stars are tonight." She stops walking and tips her head back to stare upwards. Declan doesn't want to stop walking, doesn't want to stand in a field and stare at the sky with Nadia. But he's not about to leave her, either.

     "I know that look," he starts slowly.

     "Just five minutes," she responds already moving to sit down in the grass.

     "Nadiaaaaaa, it's late and I've gotten like two hours of sleep in the last twenty-four hours."

     "Oh please, I know you took a nap after we got back this morning."

     Declan doesn't say anything. He sits because he knows he's going to be there for a while, pulling his knees up so he can wrap his arms around them. They stay quiet, so Declan starts humming his favorite Elvis song.

     "Sing it," she says so he starts singing the lyrics because this is something he does for her, and only for her. He glances at her when he finishes and she's just looking up like there is something else up there that he can't see.

     He thinks the stars look the same as always, vibrant and clustered everywhere. There really isn't anything significant about tonight. Maybe all stars look the same to some people, and for others they always find something different in them. Like with clouds. He wonders what constellations they're looking at right now, if there even are any.

     She doesn't look at him when she says, "You really do love that song." He nods, and makes an affirmative sound. "'You fooled me with your kisses'," she parrots back to him. His stomach drops instantly. "Funny, this song feels awfully fitting."

     "Don't do this again," he mumbles.

     She glances at him, her eye wide and wild. "Are you seriously going to pretend it was nothing?"

     "It wasn't nothing," he responds contrarily. "But it was a dare. A game. You spun the phone, it landed on me, and so we kissed." He shrugs.

     She tips her head back like she can see past the stars into the galaxy. Like she can see the planets and all that other galactic shit out there. "There's something going on here."

     "You're crazy."

     "What about earlier today? In the changing room?"

     Declan scrubs his face, groaning to himself. "Oh my god, Nadia, let it goooo."

     "We've been friends forever, and you couldn't even look at me topless. How come, Declan?"

     "Drop it."

     "Just tell me why, and I will."

     He's glaring at the sky when he mutters, "You know why so don't make me say it. God. You act like just because I'm your friend that negates the fact I'm a male and a heterosexual male at that."

     "That's not how I'm acting."

     "Then why did you drag me into the dressing room with you? And just stand there like that? Just to fuck with me?"

     "I didn't think you were going to react like that, Dec. I thought because it was me it wouldn't matter."

     "Breasts are breasts, Nadia. Even if its your friend's breasts. " Declan grabs a handful of grass and pulls it out, tossing it away from him. His heart is racing and yeah, okay, it's a lie. But he's hoping Nadia won't pick up on that.

     She says slowly, "If it had been Shelby or Fiona...I don't think it would've mattered then."

     "Yeah, well, you have a tendency to make things about you, so." Declan regrets it before he even finishes speaking. Nadia's breath hitches and he feels her stiffen beside him.

     "That was mean," she says lowly.

     He rakes his hands through his hair and breathes heavily. "Fuck, Nad, I didn't meant that I'm sorry." He glances at her and she's still staring up at the sky. "Really, I didn't mean it. I just – you were pushing and I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."

     "You're so defensive," she says like she's figuring something out but its taking her a while to piece it all together. "And I think that's because you're hiding something."

     "Yeah, well, I think you should let it go."

     "I can't let it go."

     "Why not?"

     "Because, Declan," she says exasperated. "We kissed."

     "It was a dare."

     "Dares force actions, they don't force feelings."

     "What do you want me to say?"

     "I want you to say you felt something."

     "Fine, I felt something."

     She groans. "Why are you being so obtuse about this?"

     "Because we're friends, and tomorrow I want to still be friends. But if you keep pushing this, I don't think that's going to be possible."

     "Maybe we aren't meant to be friends anymore." Declan snaps his neck too hard to look at her, to see if she's serious. They've been friends for fourteen years. To not be friends anymore – over a kiss – no, just no. It's not going to happen.

     She's still staring up at the sky looking so serene, like she didn't just end their friendship with eight cruel words. He can't even piece the sentence together without feeling dizzy. "You don't want to be my friend anymore because we kissed on a dare?"

     She finally turns, leaving the stars behind to stare at Declan. "I don't want to just be friends because we kissed."

     Declan can think about a lot of things all at once but he can also think about nothing all at once. And all at once his brain just stops being a brain. It's a kidney now, flushing out his system.

     "Uhm what," he responds slowly. Because, just, no, there's no way that what she just said is what she actually meant to say.

     She's frowning slightly like she's nervous and unsure. She bites her lip, lets it go after a second, and then asks, "You really didn't feel anything?"

     Declan responds, lowly, "I felt...everything."

     She doesn't smile but something solidifies behind her eyes. She straightens her shoulders back and goes, "Kiss me this time."

     He ducks his head so he's looking down at her and says, foolishly, "You have to dare me."

     Nadia is unimpressed by his line, but she says quickly, "Okay, whatever, I dare you. Happy? Do I need to take my phone out and spin it, too?" Nadia is big on moving quickly, particularly when she wants something. She stares at him anxiously like he better freaking make a move and soon.

     So he does it the way he imagined he would the first time, so slow that it almost doesn't feel like kissing at all. He wants to enjoy it. He takes stock of everything that is going on around him and in front of him. The sound of crickets in the field, and the distant roar of a truck driving down the road.

     How she smells like cinnamon and cloves, and tastes like it, too.

     She pulls back for just enough room to say, "With tongue." And presses up against him opening her mouth to his like she expects him to just follow orders. He does, beckoning against the crown of her mouth with the tip of his tongue.

     She pulls away again, saying, "By the way I feel like I should add that I texted Mia and told her not to come get us. And to ignore your texts. So don't be mad at her."

     Declan is so stupidly elated by the idea of Nadia planning this, of thinking about their kiss and what it all meant and how she would get them here. He wants to ask her if she had feelings for him before the kiss, feelings that she denied or forced into a non-existence but doesn't because they aren't questions for right now, or maybe even ever.

     And anyways he's just going to enjoy being here.