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chapter twenty-seven: secrets
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"HE'S NOT DANGEROUS," Indira states as soon as she steps out of the holding cell into the hallway where Poe and General Organa are standing by. Their expressions are expectant, waiting for her to elaborate on what she had learned from Stefan. Indira glances back inside the cell window at the pilot before touching the crystal around her neck. "His name is Stefan Nakada. He wants to defect. He told me that his uncle was a pilot for the Alliance."

"Who?" Leia asks, brow furrowed in confusion.

"Uh, he said his name was Rook," Indira replies, scratching the back of her head unsurely. "Bodhi Rook."

Instantly, Poe's eyes widen. "You mean the Bodhi Rook?"

She frowns slightly. "Should I know who that is?"

Poe lets out an exasperated groan, rubbing his face with his hands. "Rebellion era history," he mutters. "We have got to get you educated on your Rebellion era history."

The general waves off Poe's theatrics with a flick of her wrist before catching her niece's attention. "Rook was a pilot who defected from the Galactic Empire," Leia summarizes briefly. "He volunteered as part of a crew called Rogue One to steal the Death Star plans from a planet called Scarif — and none of them survived. Without their sacrifice, the Alliance never would have been able to take down the Death Star or defeat the Empire."

"They were legends," Poe interjects. His eyes gleam with a boyish sort of admiration. "My parents used to tell me stories about them before bed when I was a kid. I wanted to be just like them — the real heroes."

"I never knew that Rook had a nephew," Leia muses, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

Indira frowns. "Do you think he's lying?"

Leia raises a brow at her. "Do you?"

The younger woman considers the possibility for a moment before shaking her head quickly. "No," she says confidently. "He spared my life on Starkiller when he had no reason to. I trust him."

The general nods slowly, still deep in thought before she straightens up. "Come with me," she beckons to Poe and Indira, turning on her heel and heading down the hallway. "There's someone I want to consult about this."

Indira frowns, but obeys her instructions. "Consult?" She whispers, glancing over at Poe as they trail after the older woman. He shrugs in response; equally as puzzled as she is.

"I believe you," Leia reassures her as they walk, pausing to glance over her shoulder at Indira. "If you trust him, I trust him — but there's just a few questions I want to ask."

They make their way through the base, taking various twists and turns until Leia stops just outside of the medical bay. Indira's brow furrows when she sees where they've stopped. "Why have you brought us here?" She asks curiously. "The only patients are Finn and —"

"Your mother," Leia finishes, the corners of her mouth curving upwards into a smile.

"Oh," Indira says. "But what would she know about any of ... that?" She waves a hand in the general direction of the cell where they'd left Nakada behind.

Leia raises an eyebrow at her. "More than you'd think."

The younger woman purses her lips, keeping silent as she follows Leia into the infirmary. Things with her mother had been ... tense lately. Coming to terms with the truth about her father had been more difficult than Indira had anticipated and, as a coping method, she had decided to compartmentalize things in the hopes of making them simpler. For the most part, it had been an effective strategy. It was easy enough for her to separate Indira the Resistance Technician from Indira the Secret Daughter of Famed Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. But she could never fully forget it; especially when she was with her mother.

It had become part of Indira's daily routine to stop by the medical bay and visit both her mother and Finn at least twice a day: once first thing in the morning and once after dinner in the evening. When visiting with her mother, Indira took care to keep their conversations short and sweet and more superfluous than anything else. If her mother tried to bring up the topic of her father or the Rebellion or, well, anything that Indira believed might threaten her already fragile mental stability, she would tactfully come up with an excuse to slip away or change the subject before things get too deep.

Was she avoiding her mother? Not at all. Was she avoiding the truth? Yes, absolutely. And even though she knew it would blow up in her face eventually, Indira couldn't quite bring herself to stop. She just wanted everything to be normal. Or as normal as it could be.

They pass by Finn's unconscious figure as they enter the room and Indira's face softens slightly when she sees him still fast asleep inside of the Bacta suit. Poe watches him too, mouth curling downwards into a frown. Doctor Kalonia had told them several times that Finn would make a full recovery, but that his body would stay in a coma until it healed completely. Only time would tell when he would finally awaken, but everyone was anxious to see him again.

Her mother is awake when they reach her row in the medical bay, sitting up in her bed with a tablet in her lap. As Indira gets closer, she can just barely make out the small bumps and symbols spread across the surface that represent the various letters of the Basic alphabet. Over her shoulder, EV-1 hovers a few feet up in the air while letting out soft beeps telling her mother which letters she is touching. Indira had instructed the EV unit to keep her mother company and the droid had done a spectacular job so far, but she definitely missed having the little bot around.

Alerted to their presence by the sound of their footsteps, Indira's mother sets the tablet aside and turns her face in their direction. "Alright," she says, brow furrowed. "I hear at least two sets of footsteps — maybe three, but I'm not sure."

"You sure you can't see?" Indira asks teasingly, taking a seat on the bed beside her mother. EV greets her excitedly and Indira tweaks the droid's antenna before leaning over to kiss her mother's cheek. "You're starting to get good at that."

Her mother laughs. "What, counting?"

"It's more than just counting," Indira disagrees, sitting back on the bed. Reshaping one's sense of perception and awareness after the loss of a sense wasn't an easy task — especially for something as crucial as sight — but her mother was making progress thanks to the skills of Doctor Kalonia. "You've got visitors."

Jana perks up at that. "Is it Kali and Jess?" She asks. "I like them. They're cute; very cute."

"Guess again," Indira says.

"No charming pilots today," General Organa interjects, causing Poe to frown slightly. "You'll just have to settle for us."

"I'm not charming?" Poe asks, bringing an offended hand to his chest.

Leia gives him a wary look. "Not nearly as charming as you think you are."

He fakes a pout, crossing his arms in indignation, and Indira can't help but laugh at his expression. Her mother, who was listening to the entire exchange, squints with suspicion. "Ah," she says after a moment. "This must be the one I've heard about."

The smile slips off Indira's face. "Heard about what from who now?"

She hadn't technically gotten around to properly introducing Poe to her mother. Or, really, telling her mother that she was in a relationship at all, period. It was a topic of conversation that Indira wasn't necessarily sure how to approach; especially when half the time she was still trying to figure it out.

Her mother turns her face towards her and even though Indira knows she can't actually see her, she withers under her scrutinization. "Kali and Jessika told me the most interesting thing the other day," Jana Beren says, raising an eyebrow at her daughter. "Imagine my surprise at learning that my only daughter has been seeing someone and somehow forgot to mention it to me!"

Indira throws Poe a panicked glance, but he just shakes his head back and forth; equally flustered. "Did I really forget to mention that?" She asks, laughing nervously. "I could have sworn I told you ..."

Her mother is unconvinced. "You most certainly did not."

Gods, Indira was actually going to murder Kali and Jess.

She looks to Poe again, silently pleading for help and he sighs before taking a few steps closer. "I'm Poe," he introduces himself sheepishly, waving before dropping his hand quickly. "Poe Dameron. I, uh, I think your daughter is pretty great. Sorry that we're, uh, just now being properly introduced."

"Oh, we've met before," her mother replies mildly and Poe's brow furrows along with Indira's. She'd had no idea that Poe and her mother were previously acquainted. "Although I can't blame you for forgetting; you were just a baby at the time."

His eyes widen before a grin breaks across his face. "That's right!" He says, recognition dawning on him. "You knew my parents, didn't you?"

"They were good friends of mine," she replies; lips curling into a soft, nostalgic smile. "How is Kes? Is he still doing well?"

"I — yeah," Poe says, ruffling his hair absentmindedly. "As well as he can be. I should probably give him a call. It's been a while since we've talked."

Her mother nods. "It would do him some good to hear from you," she says, turning her head towards her daughter accusingly. "Parents hate it when their children keep things from them."

Indira scowls indignantly. "So now I'm the one in trouble for keeping secrets?"

The words had been intended as more of a jest than anything else, but Indira finds herself taken aback by the underlying bitterness she hears in her tone. Her mother notices it, too; smile fading quickly as the conversation comes to an abrupt halt.

Sensing the need for some privacy between the two women, Poe takes the opportunity to slowly back away. "I'm gonna go check on Finn," he says to no one in particular. "Poor guy looks lonely. I'm sure he'll ... appreciate the company."

Before anyone can stop him, he turns on his heel and bolts in the opposite direction; leaving only Indira, her mother, and her aunt behind. Once he's gone, Leia takes a seat on the other side of the bed and watches with a perturbed expression as she waits for the two to break their silence.

"I'm sorry," Indira says first, wringing her hands uncomfortably. "That was unfair."

Her mother sighs. "But not entirely unwarranted."

An awkward tension fills the air between them, leaving all three parties uncomfortable. Eventually, Leia clears her throat to refocus their attention, wanting to return to the pressing issue of the First Order pilot that she had detained in a holding cell.

"Enough of that," she says firmly. "Jana, there's something I need to ask you."

Her mother shrugs. "Ask away."

"We have a defector from the First Order; a pilot," Leia explains. "He said he was related to Bodhi Rook. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"

"A pilot?" Her mother repeats, brow furrowing.

Indira nods in confirmation. "I spoke with him. His name is Stefan," she adds, touching the pendant around her neck. "He has a crystal like mine."

Her face softens. "Of course he does," Jana murmurs. "History likes to repeat itself in the strangest ways." She shakes her head to clear away the memories of the past. "The necklaces came from the same crystal. Galen Erso gave the crystal to Bodhi Rook and he had it split into two halves, giving the second one to your aunt, Niobe. She gave the necklace to me before ..." her voice wavers, "... before she died."

      "What happened to her?" Indira asks. "My aunt."

      A heavy sigh escapes her mother's lips. "Your aunt Niobe and I were orphaned when we were young," she begins lowly. "We had only each other growing up and no one else. Niobe was a natural born fighter. She learned to protect us from outsiders on our home planet, Lothal. It was a war-ravaged place and the Imperial soldiers were often cruel. I was weak as a girl, so Niobe was the one who came to my rescue most often. One day she got into a brawl with some Imperial soldiers who tried to assault me. I thought they would kill her for it, but instead she caught the eye of one of their commanders — a man called Hux."

Indira gasps. "Hux as in General Hux?"

Her mother nods. "It was his father at the time — Brendol Hux. A cruel man. He saw your aunt's potential and offered her an ultimatum: she would train as one of his cadets or I would take her place. Niobe didn't hesitate. She became one of the Empire's finest soldiers — but they did not manage to rid her of all her humanity. She fell in love with a pilot — your Stefan's uncle — and when he defected, she was sent to retrieve him. But she chose to abandon their cause as well and died with him on Scarif."

Indira is quiet for a moment before she pulls the necklace over her head to examine it, tracing the jagged edges of the stone. "I thought my father gave you this necklace," she says, feeling the crystal pulse faintly with energy before she slips the cord over her head once more and tucks it into her shirt.

Her mother frowns. "He did," she replies, choosing her words carefully. "The necklace your aunt gave me was lost. Your father replaced it for me with the one you wear now."

"Right," Indira says haltingly, mouth twisting into a fake smile. "I should have guessed there was more to it than that."

"Indira," her mother sighs before the younger girl cuts her off.

"It's not important," she says, staving off the inevitable conversation about what is real and not real that Indira knows they need to have at some point. Every time she spoke with her mother it seemed that another part of the life she'd once believed began to unravel. She didn't want to pull anymore threads loose today. "We just need to know if you think Captain Nakada is telling the truth. Did you ever meet Bodhi?"

Indira's mother shakes her head. "No," she says. "But Niobe told me about him. I don't recall her mentioning anything about a nephew, but he did have a sister who was married."

The technician glances over at the general. "Is that proof enough for you?"

Leia nods, though her expression remains contemplative. "Yes," she says. "Now I just need to figure out what to do with him."

Her aunt rises from her seat, signaling the end of their brief visit by bidding her mother farewell. Indira takes that as her cue to leave as well and stands quickly, taking care to clasp her mother's hands in hers and kiss them quickly before following after the general. She catches up to the older woman, stopping next to Finn's bedside. Poe is lounging in a chair next to the younger man, focusing intently on a brown leather garment that is spread across his lap. Indira recognizes it to be the jacket that Poe had given to Finn; the same one Kylo Ren had ruined by slicing the back open with his saber.

"I can't believe that bastard ruined my jacket," he complains when they're within listening distance. "I mean, it's technically Finn's jacket now, but ... my jacket!"

Indira resists the urge to smile. "Come on, flyboy," she says, approaching his chair and offering him a hand to help him stand up. "We've got more pressing issues than the state of Finn's wardrobe right now."

Poe allows her to drag him up from his seat, leaving the jacket behind on it. He touches Finn's shoulder fondly as Indira squeezes the former stormtrooper's hand, hoping that he could somehow sense that there were people waiting for him on the other side.

"We miss you, pal," she says softly. "Maybe by the time you wake up, Rey will be back. She'll be so excited to see you."

For a moment, she waits to watch for any inclination of Finn hearing what she's said, but receives nothing more than a subtle pulse from her necklace; so faint that she almost thinks she's imagined it. With a sigh, she turns away from his sleeping figure and follows after the general. Poe keeps step beside her and they fall in line with Leia, who is very much in General Mode as she plans for the future.

"We'll have to find Nakada someone to bunk with," she tells them without preamble, thinking out loud as they walk. "Someone will have to oversee his training — although I doubt he'll need much after his prior service. Regardless, an evaluation of his skills will be necessary before we can assign him somewhere to serve." She pauses and glances over at her subordinates. "That makes two strays that you two have brought back to my base now."

"Two out of thousands — possibly even millions," Indira counters. "It's not nearly enough."

"No, not yet," Leia agrees as they come to a stop just outside the holding cell where Nakada is waiting. She punches the code into the keypad, allowing the doors to slide open. "But revolutions don't take place overnight. Sometimes, it takes a spark or two to light the fire."

Indira's brow furrows slightly as she considers the older woman's words, watching as Leia enters the cell. From the window, Indira can see the older woman taking a seat across from Nakada and the two of them conversing politely. Her hand fiddles with her necklace absentmindedly as she watches them, frowning as she considers what her mother had shared with her about her aunt and Stefan's uncle. Though they share no blood, Stefan is the closest thing Indira has to family on the base — aside from her mother and the general — and after years spent wondering about the family she'd never had the chance to meet, she finds herself undeniably curious about him; a link to the past that her mother had kept hidden from her.

"What are you thinking about?" Poe asks, distracting her from her thoughts.

She glances over at him. "Nothing," she lies. "Why?"

He raises an eyebrow at her. "You make a face when you're thinking," he says, scrunching his forehead up and pursing his lips in a thin line. "Like this."

"I do not!" She protests indignantly.

He nods emphatically. "You kinda do."

Indira does her best to relax her facial muscles and remove whatever expression he's talking about. "I don't make a face," she says stubbornly. "See? No face."

He rolls his eyes before raising his hands in surrender. "Fine, fine," he says. "You don't have to tell me. But you do make a face."

Indira huffs before crossing her arms over her chest and scuffing her boots against the floor. "I was thinking about my mom," she admits, looking away from him.

Poe winces slightly. "Yeah, I feel like that first meeting could have gone better," he agrees, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Is everything okay between you two? Things seemed kind of tense."

"We're fine," Indira replies, resisting the urge to screw up her face unpleasantly. She isn't sure how else to explain her underlying resentment and bitterness to him without telling him the truth about her father and that is not a conversation that she's ready for. "Things are just different now from how they used to be. We'll work it out eventually; I think we just need more time."

"Time," Poe repeats dubiously. His brow furrows and he shrugs before focusing his attention on Leia and the captain once more. "Okay."

Indira gets the feeling that he doesn't quite believe her, but she can't blame him for it. She wouldn't believe herself either.

SOMEHOW, INDIRA FINDS herself as the unofficial designated tour guide for Stefan Nakada. As soon as Leia had finished debriefing the captain, the general set him loose on the base and the poor man looked so lost and unsure of himself that, really, Indira didn't have any other choice aside from keeping him by her side at all times. She remembers how lost she'd felt when Leia brought her to the base over a year ago and her circumstances had been nowhere near as drastic as Stefan's. At the time, she'd been lucky enough to have some pretty amazing friends who made things easier for her. She knows that it's her turn to pay that kindness forward now.

"This is the mess hall," Indira explains as they enter the cafeteria. It's less crowded than usual since it's a rest day and most people are operating on different schedules, but there's still a decent amount of Resistance personnel gathered around for dinner. "The food is an ... acquired taste, but you'll learn to live with it."

"That doesn't sound very promising," Stefan mutters unsurely as his plate is loaded with different entrees.

"Whatever you do, don't touch the grey stuff," Poe supplies helpfully from his place at the front of the line. "Honest to gods, it is the most foul tasting substance known to mankind." He pauses, glancing around to make sure none of the cooks overheard him. "But you didn't hear that from me."

Indira rolls her eyes. "Ignore him. It's not that bad," she tells the new recruit as they make their way to an empty table and sit down. "He's just being dramatic."

"Dramatic," Stefan repeats; almost as if he's keeping mental notes of how to categorize all of the new people that he meets. "I'll keep that in mind."

Poe, in the middle of chewing a large bite of his bread roll, spews crumbs everywhere in indignation. "I am not dramatic!"

"Yes, you are," Jessika Pava interrupts, sliding into the seat next to him. "You're probably the single most dramatic person on this base."

As the two of them begin bickering with one another, Kali slides into the seat next to Indira, but doesn't say anything; just moodily stabs at her food before shoving it into her mouth and chewing aggressively. Indira watches her friend for a few moments with concern before nudging her with her foot under the table. "Hey," she says. "You okay?"

Kali scowls in response, stabbing at her food even more viciously. "I don't want to talk about it."

Indira shoots Jess a look and the pilot mouths the words EXAM RESULTS to her from across the table. Understanding dawns on Indira's face as she glances over at Kali once more, taking in the sight of her defeated expression and slumped shoulders. A few days prior, Kali had taken the examination that bomber pilots were required to pass in order to fly as part of Cobalt Squadron. Evidently, the results had been less than ideal.

"They said that I was too reckless and impulsive," Kali rants through a mouthful of stew. "Can you believe that? Me, reckless and impulsive!"

"You've got fighter pilot instincts," Poe observes from across the table, pointing at her with his fork. "Not bomber pilot instincts. Gotta learn to love 'em."

She scowls deeper. "Well, I hate them."

"Sorry, Kal," Indira frowns, touching her friend's arm briefly. "You'll get 'em next time."

"Piloting a bomber isn't much fun anyways," Paige Tico pipes up from her seat at the far end of the table. "They're slow and heavy and boring. Believe me — your job is a lot more exciting than mine. I'd take a T-70 over my MG-100 any day."

Kali gives the gunner a hopeful look. "Trade places with me?"

"Tempting," Paige begins before glancing over at her little sister, "but I think I'll stick to my post. Cobalt Squadron is where I belong."

The defeated pilot sighs in response, shoulders slumping once more. "It was worth a shot."

"You know, I don't think I've seen you around before," Jessika remarks, drawing the table's focus from Kali to Stefan, who is sitting to Indira's right.

The former First Order pilot freezes in the middle of raising a spoonful of soup towards his mouth. "I'm, uh, new," he says awkwardly, setting the spoon down and forcing a smile.

"This is Stefan," Indira supplies, glancing over at him momentarily. "He's a new recruit."

"Another defector," Poe adds, shooting Stefan a rueful grin. "We're building up a collection."

Jess's eyes light up. "Really?" She asks with enthusiasm. "You defected?"

Stefan nods hesitantly, slightly unsure of how to respond. "I — yeah, I did."

Poe grins. "Oh man, I'd pay to see the look on Hux's face when he realizes his troops are deserting him one by one. He'll probably be frothing at the mouth."

Stefan flinches almost imperceptibly at the mention of the First Order general, tightening his grip on the spoon in his hand before forcing himself to laugh along with the other pilots at the table. There's a stiffness to his shoulders and a serious set to his mouth, but Indira thinks that he'll be alright eventually. It might just take some time for him to adjust, too.

Snap and Karé join them at the table not too long after that. The male pilot introduces himself to Stefan, revealing that he'll be bunking with him since Snap had been without a roommate ever since L'ulo's passing. Indira hopes that his laid back temperament and jovial nature will rub off on Stefan and help to put him more at ease.

As soon as dinner is over, the group splits off and goes their separate ways; Kali and Jess hit the gym to practice sparring, Rose and Paige decide to watch a holovid together, and Snap offers to show Stefan to their room, which leaves just Indira and Poe behind. As per her routine, Indira stops by to see her mom once more before she turns in for the night.

    Poe comes with her, but opts to sit at Finn's bedside while he waits, telling his friend bits and pieces of random stories that he thinks he might enjoy if he were awake. However, his focus is continuously drawn away from Finn's form as he eyes his ruined jacket, staring at the gaping tear that Ren had ripped through it. When Indira approaches him to leave, he decides to take the jacket with him this time instead of leaving it behind.

"I wanna try fixing it," he tells her as they exit the sickbay, rambling slightly. "I know, I know; it's stupid. But Finn can't wear it like this and he's gonna need it when he wakes up —"

"It's not stupid," Indira disagrees, feeling extremely endeared towards him. She laces her fingers through his as they walk towards her quarters. "It's kind."

"I'm just doing what anyone else would do," he says, cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

"Not just anyone," she counters, coming to a stop just outside her door. "You're special, Poe Dameron."

He shoots her an almost bashful grin before tugging her towards him by the wrist. "And you're beautiful," he says before pressing his lips to hers quickly; soft and featherlight before pulling away.

Indira wraps her arms around his waist, tucking her head under his chin to listen to the sound of his heartbeat. They stand like that for a few moments in complete silence before Poe speaks up. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asks, voice muffled slightly.

Guilt washes over Indira and she pulls back from the hug to meet his inquisitive gaze; eyes dark and searching as they look into hers. Her throat is tight when she tries to answer him, so she just nods quickly instead.

"Okay," he murmurs, cupping her cheek before pressing his lips to the top of her head. "I just wanted to tell you."

"I know," she says, squeezing his hand before taking a few steps back. "Goodnight, Poe."

He smiles back at her, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes as he turns away. "Goodnight."

Indira watches him walk in the opposite direction, waiting until he's no longer in sight before entering her room. With a heavy sigh, she flops down onto her bed and presses her face into the pillow, praying that her dreams will be sweet tonight.

a/n: EPISODE IX TRAILER DROPS ON MONDAY GET HYPEEEEEEEEEEEE

EDITED ON:
10.19.19