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chapter nine: human behavior
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     SHE CAN'T FALL ASLEEP. It's late — very late — but for the life of her Indira Beren cannot manage to close her eyes and stay still for more than five minutes before feeling the need to fidget and roll over in her bunk. Kali is snoring softly, feet dangling off the edge of her bed, and EV-1 is powered off to charge, leaving Indira with no company except for her noisy brain.

     General Organa's words from earlier that day itch at her, preventing Indira from finding any sense of tranquility. Who out of Black Squadron could be a traitor? Indira is positive that it isn't Jessika. Call it instinct, but she's certain that the pilot would rather die than betray her friends. Karé Kun didn't seem like a likely culprit either. She'd had hardly spoken with the other woman, but from what Indira had seen and heard, Karé was a loyal friend and ally to the Resistance. Nothing seemed to mark her as a traitor. But if not them, then who? L'ulo L'ampar had been a rebel ally since the days of the Alliance. Temmin Wexley had helped General Organa build the Resistance from the ground up. And Oddy Muva had never been allowed to go on any missions with Black Squadron, which automatically eliminated him. So that left Indira with ... absolutely no one.

      A frustrated huff escapes her lips before Indira sighs and rolls out of bed. Sleep obviously wasn't going to come to her any time soon, and she would likely wake up Kali if she wasn't careful, so she decides to go for a walk. Quietly, she pulls on her training clothes before slipping out into the corridor.

     To her surprise, there's quite a few people milling around the halls outside. It's near o'three hundred, yet parts of the base are still abuzz with activity. As she walks the premises of the base, Indira sees Doctor Cosimo studying a datapad inside the medical bay, catches a glimpse of a few maintenance workers testing security defenses, spots a room full of people in the command center monitoring large holos. It's oddly comforting to know that she isn't the only person awake at such a lonely hour.

      Whatever flaws it may have, the Resistance seems to be a living, breathing thing, kept alive by the sheer determination and willpower of its members. Each person on base is a different part of the larger body, finding their place in the system and doing their part to ensure its survival. That sort of unity and camaraderie makes the possibility of a betrayal hurt that much worse.

      Eventually, Indira winds up at the training room, which is less empty than she had thought it would be. A few people are scattered amongst the room, sparring or stretching or talking quietly. Keeping to herself, she finds an empty mat and sits cross legged, stretching out her stiff limbs.

     "Mind if I join you?"

      Indira squints, looking up to see a lanky green-skinned figure standing before her. It takes her a moment to place a name to the face, but she quickly recognizes L'ulo Lampar and nods for him to sit down. The Duros male takes a seat beside her, bones cracking from the movement.

      "Kriff," he mutters while getting situated. "These limbs don't quite work as well as they did thirty years ago. Did you know I'm the oldest member of Black Squadron?"

       "I did not," Indira admits.

      "Gotta train extra to keep up with the young guns," he says, stretching with difficulty. "I used to be able to chase Poe around his house till he was bone-weary. Helped his mother get him to go to sleep. Nowadays, I get outta breath just watching him run around."

      Indira raises her eyebrows. "You knew Commander Dameron as a child?"

     L'ulo smiles. "From the day he was born," he replies. "Me and his mother, Shara Bey, were close friends during the days of the Alliance. I watched over him for her as he grew up — nuisance that he was — and I'm still watching over him for her now that she's gone."

      Something about that concept makes Indira's heart ache, but it also brings a smile to her face. "He's lucky to have you."

      L'ulo scoffs. "Well, I'm not much good to him here," he mutters with a scowl. "I don't like these solo missions the general's been sending him out on. Makes me nervous, knowing he's out there all on his own without anyone watching his back."

     Indira's eyes narrow slightly. Hadn't the General said that no one was meant to know where Poe had gone? Not even the members of his own squadron? "I'm not sure what you mean," she lies. "Hasn't Commander Dameron been overseeing some paperwork for the general?"

     L'ulo shakes his head at her. "I know the official story, but there's no need to pretend when we both know it isn't true," the Duros male says casually. "And besides, Poe would never willingly allow himself to spend that much time doing paperwork. He'd go stir-crazy. Blow something up."

     "Everyone has to do their part," Indira laughs nervously. "Even the best pilot in the Resistance."

     "I suppose that's true," L'ulo concedes thoughtfully, scratching the top of his bald head. "But all I know is that if anything bad happens while Poe is doing paperwork, someone is going to have hell to pay and not even Organa will be able to stop me."

       At his last remark, Indira's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, nearly reaching her hairline. Most people spoke of the general in reverent terms around base. Hearing someone else speak such idle threats made about her was ... jarring, to say the least. Indira gives him a stiff smile, but says nothing else.

      Seeming to realize his error, L'ulo leans back to observe her. "General Organa and I go way back," he says. "I've known her since I was younger than you are. We've never quite seen eye-to-eye on things. I respect her as a general, but she's a stubborn woman. It can be frustrating for an equally stubborn man like me to serve under her at times; especially when things have gotten so secretive around these parts. Even after all these years, I sometimes get the feeling that she doesn't trust me."

      Indira nods, though inwardly her mind is racing. "I can see how that would be frustrating," she says.

A flicker of doubt runs through her regarding her earlier assessment. Without meaning to, her mind drifts to a terrible thought that she wishes she could take back immediately afterwards. Is L'ulo the spy?

     "Poe told me about you, you know," L'ulo continues and Indira nods, only half paying attention to him as her heart pounds in her throat. "He talks an awful lot about you, even if he won't admit it. Damn fool is as stubborn as his parents, in the best and worst of ways."

      Her throat tightens as she thinks of just how awful it would be if this man, who is so near and dear to Poe and his family, was the one who had been betraying him all along. "Well, I hope I didn't disappoint," Indira replies, trying to keep her face and voice light. "But I think I might turn in now, if you don't mind."

      "Mind?" L'ulo looks surprised, red eyes widening. "'Course I don't mind. Hell, get some sleep if you can. I figured you were just here to pass the time away and I thought I'd keep you company since you were all by your lonesome, but I'll be fine on my own."

      Indira forces a smile. "Then I guess I'll take my leave," she says, wiping her sweaty palms on the fabric of her pants before standing. "It was good to officially meet you, Captain L'ampar."

     "L'ulo," he says. "Call me L'ulo, kid."

      She nods curtly. "L'ulo."

       Indira does her best not to run out of the training room, hurrying back to her quarters as quickly as she can. When she steps back inside the room, Kali is still snoring, sprawled out across the mattress. She slips out of her clothes as quickly as she can and back into her pajamas without waking Kali, lying down on the bed once more and rolling onto her side. Indira curls up into a small ball, knees touching her chest as she stares at the wall.

     L'ulo can't be the spy, she tells herself, trying to convince herself that it isn't true. He can't be, he can't be ... can he?

        She does not sleep a wink that night.

     DARK CIRCLES RIM Indira's eyes when she makes her way into the hangar the next morning. She had spent the entire night on edge until the sun had risen and EV-1 powered back on, blaring their alarm at the usual hour. Indira was silent at breakfast, muttering to Jess and Kali that she hadn't slept well when they asked her what was wrong. In reality, she was still thinking about her conversation with L'ampar yesterday and what implications it might hold. Part of her wants to go straight to the general and tell her, but the rest of her thinks that she should confront Poe Dameron first.

      After much silent deliberation, Indira resolves that if Poe isn't back by sundown, she'll go to General Organa and tell her. It would be unwise to keep her suspicions to herself, even if they turn out to be wrong. More than anything, Indira hopes that they're wrong, but she knows it's better to be safe than sorry.

     Fortunately — or unfortunately; she isn't sure which yet — Poe Dameron makes his return to the base at eleven hundred that morning, making a graceful landing in the hangar just as Indira finishes her basic routine checks on the ships in the hangar. She had done her best to not take Oddy Muva's dismissal of her technical skills personally, but Indira was starting to feel genuinely insulted. She was a good technician, capable of doing much more than what he was having her do. Anyone with a few functioning brain cells could read a fuel meter or fill a tank.

      BB-8 exits the ship first, departing the X-wing with an excited chatter of whistles and beeps. The round astromech droid rolls directly up to Indira at full speed, greeting her before launching into an account of its mission with great enthusiasm, making sure to spare no details — save for the classified bits, of course.

      "Oh, wow," Indira says, only halfway paying attention. "That's so exciting!" Her eyes follow Poe as he takes his time to depart his ship, climbing down the ladder of the T-70 and hopping onto the ground. "Of course I missed you. No, do not tell Evie I told you that."

       Her stomach churns with nerves when Poe turns around, setting his sight on her. Their last encounter hadn't been great by anyone's standards and Indira had completely blown him off afterwards. Still, she has more pressing matters to discuss with him than that, which is what is really making her nervous.

      "Hey," Poe calls from a distance, raising a hand to wave at her.

      She returns the gesture quickly, hating how anxious she feels. Wiping her sweaty palms on her pants quickly, Indira reaches up to cling to the necklace around her neck, tugging gently on the cord. Seeming to notice something off in her expression, Poe jogs over quickly and comes to a stop just a few feet away.

      "What's up?" He asks. "You look ..."

     She raises an eyebrow at him.

      Eyes widening, Poe snaps his mouth shut momentarily. "... present," he says, carefully. "Because you're here, in the present, and —"

       Indira exhales deeply, pinching the bridge of her nose momentarily before raising a hand to cover Poe's mouth. "Stop talking," she interrupts, meeting his confused gaze.

For a moment, the two of them just look at each other before Indira swallows harshly, hyperaware of the feeling of his skin beneath her own. "I need to speak with you." She abruptly lets her hand fall from his face. "Alone. It's important."

     "Uh," he says, momentarily dumbstruck until BB-8 bumps into his leg, jarring him out of his trance. "Right, right. Just give me a moment. I've gotta debrief with the general first, but once that's over we can talk. Sound good?"

     Indira nods, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah, that's fine."

      "You wanna meet back here or somewhere else?" He asks.

      "Not here," Indira says, wary of any possible eavesdroppers. "It needs to be somewhere private. I don't want the wrong person to overhear."

      His brow furrows with concern, seeming to realize that whatever she wants to talk about is serious. "We could meet in my quarters? I don't share with anyone. No one will be listening to us there."

       BB-8 makes a skeptical remark that turns the tips of Poe's ears red. "Get your head out of the gutter, Bee," he hisses at the droid, blushing profusely. "Sorry. Not sure where he gets it from. Droids, huh?"

      Indira shakes her head. "It doesn't matter," she says reflexively. "If no one will hear us, then we can meet there. Just try and be quick. Please."

      He nods in agreement. "I will," he promises, already starting to walk in the opposite direction. "Buddy, show her where to go. This'll only take a few minutes. Twenty tops. I'll be right there!"

      Indira watches as he jogs out of the hangar, still wearing his orange flight suit. Once she can no longer see him, she looks to the droid beside her. "Alright," Indira tells him, squaring her shoulders. "Lead the way."

     POE DAMERON'S QUARTERS are far nicer than Indira's ever will be and she is just a tiny bit jealous. "I can't believe he has his own private refresher," she mutters under her breath, turning around in the room slowly. "And a kitchen." Scratch that: she's not a tiny bit jealous; she is extremely jealous. Evidently, being a commanding officer has its perks. "I didn't even know there were rooms this nice on base!"

     BB-8 makes a pleased sort of sound, rolling into the room and heading straight for a round, cushioned pillow stationed next to Dameron's unmade bed, situating itself comfortably on the surface. The room is a bit of a mess, with clothes and shoes strewn about the floor. Still, it's homey in a way that Indira's room isn't. Various trinkets decorate the surfaces of his desk, bedside table, and any other available counter space. A crooked picture hangs off one of the walls and as Indira steps closer, she can see the faces of a man, woman, and little boy all smiling brightly. Behind them, a large tree towers over them in the background, casting patches of shade over their happy expressions. Indira's heart softens at the sight, catching her first glimpse of Poe Dameron's parents and his childhood.

     She isn't sure how much time passes before the door slides open, revealing a rankled looking Poe Dameron on the other side. He looks as tired as Indira feels; undoubtedly exhausted from the mission he'd just returned from. Still, he has enough energy to offer Indira a weary smile before gesturing outward with his hands.

     "Welcome to my place," he says, crossing the room to the small kitchen area whilst shrugging off his flight suit jacket, leaving him in a plain white t-shirt and his bright orange pants as he rummages through the refrigerator. "Sorry about the mess; I'm not the neatest guy and I wasn't expecting company."

     "It's fine," Indira tells him, giving him a faint smile. "Your room is nice. I like the picture."

     Poe turns his head around, disregarding the fridge for a moment as he stares at her intently. A slow grin makes its way across his face before he turns back around. "You know what?" He asks, pulling out a carton of blue milk and a glass. "I think that might be the first nice thing you've ever said to me."

     Resisting the urge to smile, Indira crosses her arms over her chest. "Well, I wouldn't get too used to it if I were you. I've got a reputation to uphold, after all."

     He grins. "I'll try to keep that in mind.

     It would be easy for her to let herself fall into the swing of this banter between them. There's a mechanical sort of push and pull to it that runs like a well-oiled machine, but Indira knows that isn't why she's here and she can't afford to stall any longer. If L'ulo really is the spy, then Poe deserves to know — no matter how much it might hurt him.

     "There's something I need to talk to you about," she says after a few moments of silent deliberation, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "And I don't know if it's true or if you'll even believe me, but I needed to tell you."

     Any hint of the smile from before leaves his face. "What's up?"

     Indira takes a deep breath, closing her eyes before meeting his gaze. "I think L'ulo might be the spy in Black Squadron."

      Immediately, Poe reels backwards; almost as if he'd been struck. "L'ulo?" He asks in disbelief. "Why would you say that? L'ulo ... L'ulo is my friend — he's my family. He's no traitor."

     Indira shakes her head. "I know it doesn't make any sense, but who else would it be, Poe? Is it any more likely that it would be Jess or Karé or Wexley? They're your friends, too."

      "No," Poe mutters, mouth falling into a hard and uncompromising line. "But that doesn't mean that L'ulo is guilty."

      "He knew about your mission," she counters. "No one else was supposed to know about it. The general only told me because I knew that she wasn't telling the truth. Don't you think it's suspicious that the general doesn't trust L'ulo when she's known him for years? You have to admit that it's a little odd."

      He shakes his head stubbornly. "Suspicious? Maybe, but it doesn't prove anything," he replies, clenching his jaw in determination. "L'ulo is my friend; my mentor. It makes me sick to even think about him being a traitor. Sure, he's a little rough around the edges. Headstrong, stubborn, doesn't always follow orders — but he's a good team member and a good man. He's not a traitor."

     Indira bites her lip. "If that's what you think, I can't change your mind," she says carefully. "But I think it's naïve to pretend that it's not a possibility. I know that he's your friend, but betrayal never comes from your enemies, Poe."

     His mouth tightens further. "Look, I appreciate the concern, but you should stay out of this," he tells her firmly. "It's my team; my business. No offense, but I don't need anyone else poking their nose in it — especially a rookie who's been on the base for less than a month. I'll figure it out by myself."

     Feeling a little stung, Indira steps back. "Right," she mutters. "I'm sure you've got it all figured out. I'll make sure to not even bother next time."

     Poe scrubs a tired hand over his face. "Beren, wait," he says frustratedly.

      "I've actually got work to do," she says coolly, walking towards the door. "I'm sure Oddy needs my help with something. You know, since I'm just the rookie around here."

      Before he can say another word, Indira slips out into the hallway and walks away quickly, muttering under her breath about stupid flyboys and their molecular sized brains, throwing in a few curse words for good measure to encapsulate her anger.

     Back in his room, Poe Dameron lets out an exasperated huff, pulling at his hair before flinging himself facedown on his bed. "How do I keep messing this up, BeeBee?" He groans, voice muffled by his pillow.

     The little droid just shakes its head back forth in response, beeping sadly at its master; once again stumped at the prospect of understanding the complexities of human behavior.

EDITED ON:
08.17.19