Seonghwa's pov

  Since I was accepted into Ateez, I picked up writing songs again. Right now, I was sat in Hongjoong's - or now our- studio.

  I got really close to finishing the newest song, then San walked in unannounced. He paused my work, then turned the swivel chair around to face himself.

  "Hwa, what time is it?" San asked.

  "It's six pm. What's wrong?" I questioned, looking up at San as he was standing.

  "No, Hwa, it's six in the morning. How are you still working on a song? You need rest and a meal."
 
  "I'll be fine, San, you don't have to worry! I'll take care of myself," I leaned forward and kissed him, "what do we have on the schedule today?"

  "You have a date with a bed, and us seven are going to do a livestream. This is the third time this week that you're staying so late! Please care for your health," San spoke then kissed me again. He ruffled my hair, making my bangs messy.

   "San," I whined, trying to get my bangs away from my eyes.

  "I love you, Hwa; get some rest." San walked out of the studio.

  I smiled softly at his words, but turned back to my computer. I drank some more of my coffee and got back to work.

  I finished my song, then cleaned up my mess. I locked our studio door then made my way back to the dorms.

  "What time is it?" Hongjoong asked from the kitchen doorway, seeing me come in.

  I glanced down at my watch, "One in the afternoon."

  "Yes, and San told us that you'd already be in bed by now since he paused your work."

  "I didn't want an unfinished song, babe," I said. I walked to Hongjoong and put my arms around his neck, leaning in to kiss him.

"Come on; let's go eat then to sleep," hongjoong kissed me again, then took my hand.

  Soon enough we were lying down in our bed, holding each other closely.

  "I love you, Joong," I said, toying with his hair since his head was on my chest.

  "I love you, Hwa."

  A little into us cuddling on the bed, hongjoong looked up at me.

"Hwa, we're not trying to dull your creativity, we just want you to take some breaks. We'd have to slow down everything if you get sick; none of us would want to leave you for long."

  "I know, lovely, I just- I feel like I need to catch back up in some way. I shouldn't mess up your talents with mine being less than."

  Hongjoong moves to hover over me, a cute glint in his eyes that I love so much.

  "We know your talents are up to par- you're the only one who doesn't know it." He pecked my lips then laid back down on me.

  "Please just rest now," he asked, looking up at me. I kissed him once again, then finally let myself rest.

The next morning, I woke up in my bed alone. My head was hurting, and I felt pretty weak.

"I should've listened earlier," I grumbled, pulling the blanket over my face to block the sunlight.

"Sick?" Mingi asked from somewhere I couldn't see. I groaned in response and rolled over.

"I just want to be at your levels." I felt my eyes water as my face was buried in the pillow. The bed squeaked as Mingi laid down beside me.

"Baby, what's wrong? Why are you so stressed about being at our supposed levels?"

  I didn't respond, just let silent tears roll into the pillow. My head hurt like I had a migraine, and I felt unworthy, both making me cry.

"Hwa?" Mingi asked, gently moving the blanket away from me but only finding the back of my head.

  "I just don't deserve you guys. You all treat me so super well, but all I'm giving back lately is mood swings. I don't know why I am your soulmate; it could be a-"

  "Don't you dare call us a mistake!" Mingi interjects, "you do deserve us! We understand that you're just feeling unwell after your borderline personality disorder diagnosis. We are not mad at you, love."

  "But I keep trying to push you all away..."

  "And you know we won't let you push us too far. We'll give you space, but not so much you aren't loved and cared for."

  "..Atiny have told me I don't deserve you; that you don't deserve a sick soulmate. I- just let me push you away. It'll be easier on you all if you go back to seven." I began crying a little harder at this point.

   Mingi rolled me over to face him.

"No. You can't and won't push us too far away. We love you way too much to let that happen. We'll have to have another live chat with Atiny; I thought they were done with this bullshit..."

  Mingi soon laid down with me. I buried my face in his chest, my tears soaking his shirt.

  "I'm scared..." I mumbled, barely loud enough for the younger man to hear.

  "Of?"

  "Losing you."