"Will you stay with me?" He placed kisses along her neck making a soft moan escape her lips. He looked at her and Rey noticed his eyes seemed darker than before,

"Always."

Kylo rolled off of her and landed on the other side with a thud. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair several times indicating he was very uneasy,

"If you don't mind, I'm very tired." He said staring at the ceiling, "I had a meeting with several delegates that made me very upset. I don't like it when people disappoint me."

She wondered why he was so open to tell her that first order personnel was on board, but she also was very tired. She decided to not think about anything too much until morning. With one clap of Kylo's hands, all of the lights in the room turned off. The only thing illuminating the room was the light that shone down from space into the window. She realized they must be close to a system, the only light in space was the stars. Kylo admired the way the light caressed Rey's face, they made her already soft features look even more desirable.

He reached out with one hand and swept his thumb under her eye, she gave a soft smile that Ren couldn't help but return. After a fair amount of time spent staring at each other, Rey eventually fell asleep. Kylo Ren rarely found sleep and tonight was no exception.

Kylo stared at her and remarked again on how beautiful she is, and how beautiful her body is. When he undressed her he felt more aroused than probably ever before. Part of him wanted to have sex with her after undressing her earlier, part of him wanted to have sex with her now. His mind raced with the thought of undressing her again and kissing her everywhere and anywhere he pleased. He knew she was a virgin and she probably had never even kissed someone until now. He on the other hand had been with his fair share of people. Being force sensitive in a lowly bar on the outer rim gave him the upper hand in convincing people to have sex with him. The thought of him being her first pleased him. But in this moment he felt like the right thing was to just watch her. He spent hours staring at her until he decided he needed to do something.

In one of the chairs farthest from his bed and the sleeping girl, he sat going over coordinates and plans given to him by Captain Phasma. The inevitable attack on the resistance had made no progress in planning. They didn't know where to strike, how to strike, or when. He remembered now why he wasn't looking into this more, Rey was the key to the entire mission and here she lay asleep in his bed. Maybe Hux was right, she was distracting him. Kylo had been lost in thought while staring at her that he didn't notice she was violently thrashing about.

"No... Please don't do this to me. I trusted you, no!" Rey practically screamed, he was correct about her nightmares all that time ago. His initial thought was to observe her, maybe he could gain something from this. But then he remembered this was the girl whom he wanted to protect more than anyone or anything in any Galaxy. He also realized that she was dreaming about him. He could feel it, she was dreaming that he betrayed her. He became worried and frantic so much so he found himself picking her up and putting her in his lap in a matter of moments.

Rey awoke to Kylo holding her telling her to wake up. She remembered vaguely what she had been dreaming of, Kylo had attacked the resistance base and killed everyone. Her friends, her home, her life.

"I dreamt that you... You." She tripped over her words while searching his face for any sign of betrayal.

"I know. I know Rey, I won't do that to you. I won't hurt you." He lied to her face. He planned to do exactly that, destroy her home, her friends her everything. But not her, he was going to protect her. He strongly believed she didn't need anything besides him. Destroying the resistance would mean nothing to her is she joined him.

"You're safe now. With me you will always be safe." He held her tight and her heart began to slow. She often had nightmares but not like this, this felt real. In fact, it did not feel like a dream at all.

"Were you awake?" Rey asked after moments passed of silence,

"Yes. I rarely sleep."

"Why?" She asked pulling away from him, it allowed her to look at his face.

"I never can. I have not been able to in weeks and when I do I have nightmares. They come quickly and horribly, sleep does more harm now than good." He looked out the window admiring the vast emptiness, Rey admired his face and the way it showed every thing on his mind.

"I understand." Rey said softly reminding Kylo she had the same problem, "I may have a solution Kylo."

He was going to protest and say there is no solution to the evil that lurks in his soul that prohibits him to sleep, but Rey laid down pulling him with her. She faced away from him and wrapped his arms around her waist. At first Kylo did not fully understand why she was doing this, but when he had his arms around her his mind felt clear. He kissed her neck, slowly and softly now. Of course he always wanted to have sex with her, but right now all he really wanted was to hold her.

For the first time in months both Rey and Kylo Ren slept without nightmares. They slept for hours and hours and they both felt like this is where they belonged. Kylo Ren realized that even in a room full of people he would always want her first. She made him feel like maybe some pieces of his soul could still be saved.

When Rey woke up she was alone. It was still dark as night because space is eternally dark, but she couldn't sense his presence anymore. She felt for him and the bed was still warm from where he laid. He hadn't been gone for very long but she wished he was still here. She turned on the lights in his quarters and saw that dinner had been cleaned like he said, and now there was breakfast. She sat at the table and saw pancakes, clothing and a note next to them.

I have matters to take care of this morning, I will return later in the day. If you need me tell the stormtrooper outside my door and he will bring me to you. Do not leave my quarters.

Although the note was very strict and stale, she could feel the sincerity through it. He told her several times he wanted to protect her and he still is trying to. But she could protect herself, she's not helpless. She's stronger than he realizes and stronger than even she realizes.

She ate her breakfast quickly and pushed the plates aside. She had nothing to do now. She walked around the room looking at everything very meticulously. She moved quietly and easily, moving no longer hurt her. She was getting stronger every day. Rey looked in every drawer and ever closet and every inch of that room but failed to see any sign of a possession. Kylo Ren really owned nothing but clothing. She even failed to find any weapons, although the only weapon he would ever need is a light saber which hung around his waist at all times. This man was still very mysterious to her, he owned nothing, was constantly missing, and never said anything indicating he has a life outside the first order. Rey needed to know more about him and the order, this was her mission anyways. Her alliance fell with the resistance and that's who she needed to assist right now.

Rey dressed in the clothes Kylo left her. All black, of course. For sneaking around a first order ship these clothes seemed to fit. She was hesitant to leave without a weapon but that just meant she had to go unnoticed. She had the force anyways, that seemed to help her in the past. With her natural ability and minimal teaching from Luke she was determined she could protect herself. She looked in the mirror and saw someone almost unrecognizable. Her hair was a curly mess around her shoulders and she wore the color of the enemy. But she was still the headstrong, unstoppable scavenger from Jakku. She was still Rey.

She stood in front of the door leading outside of his room and for the first time in 20 minutes she felt guilt. Kylo Ren wasn't doing anything to hurt her, he made that clear. She didn't want to betray him in anyway but he still belongs to the first order. If there was any possibility her friends or the resistance were going to get hurt she needed to know. She placed her hands on the door and the familiarly annoying voice came on

Handprint unrecognized

Damn, she thought. She tried to will the door open with the force even but that failed miserably. Then she remembered, the note. There was a stormtrooper outside the doors. She held a hand up to the white door and banged on it. It sounded of heavy but hollow metal. Almost immediately the trooper appeared in the doorway holding a blaster. Her first thought was fear, stormtrooper almost always went something was going wrong. But not today, she needed this ones help.

"Do you require me to find Kylo Ren?" The familiar mechanical voice spoke, Rey breathed deeply and spoke clearly, firmly and with purpose.

"Give me your weapon and allow me to leave. Once I am gone stay here and forget you ever spoke to me."

She watched as the stormtrooper stiffened and paused,

"Yes ma'am." Rey almost couldn't believe she had practically mastered Jedi mind tricks. She took the blaster from the troopers outstretched hand and ran from the room. She heard the doors close and the trooper return to his earlier position. Luckily the hallway was barren besides his quarters, a few doors that seemed to go to closets and a cleaning droid buzzed around the corridor.

She moved quickly and silently and low to the ground. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she attempted to remember the way the stormtroopers had carried her in. She was heavily sedated then and being dragged, so her map memory wasn't perfect. She didn't run into any troopers for a while until she checked around one corner and saw an entire squadron. She held her the gun close to her and laid flat against the wall, luckily the squadron went the other way. She kept moving and felt like the was going deeper into the ship, she was right. She arrived at a large glass window that opened out to the loading dock. There had to be hundreds of troopers down there and 50 xwings. But, across the glass windows she saw him. She saw Kylo Ren with his hands behind his back standing proudly in front of captain Phasma. She couldn't imagine that just last night he was holding her. He looked so demanding and strong, he was striking.

She made her way to the room she saw him in and stayed unnoticed. She ran into a few more squadrons but she always had time to hide. When she arrived she could feel him in there, but couldn't hear him. With just her luck, she saw a vent ran over the top of that room. Using the force, she jumped up to the opening and pulled the panel down. It came down with a crash but she thought no one noticed. She pulled herself in and wiggled to just over the room; she could hear everything now.

"We need to continue with the attack on the resistance, Kylo Ren. If we stall any longer we risk our plans being found out. You must interrogate the girl we have to choices left." The familiar tongue of General Hux resonated in the room,

"I will interrogate her if you'd rather, I will not bring harm to her if possible." Captain Phasma metallic voice surprised Rey, she thought Phasma might have died on starkiller base,

"You will do no such thing, I will not allow anyone near her besides myself." Kylo Ren spoke clearly and strongly to the other two. Rey began to have the feeling she was no longer safe on this ship. She felt the need to escape and warn the resistance growing more intense,

"If I must I will speak to Leader Snoke, Ren." Hux spat at Kylo, "You're feelings are sacrificing our mission. If you cannot fulfill your duty you should be relieved."

"Quiet!" Kylo Ren's voice shook the room and even though no one could see her, Rey felt genuinely frightened. She could feel Kylo fuming with anger as he turned his light saber on, the familiar buzz of the broken kyber crystal was unmistakable. She heard him take a few steps on the hard, cold metal floors most likely toward General Hux.

"If you have any desire to stay breathing, I suggest you stay quiet regarding the matters with the girl. You may be a higher rank than I, but do not forget I could kill you anytime I so pleased."

The fear from General Hux caused a harsh disturbance in the force. Rey was not used to feeling this from other people, it only reminded her that Kylo often made people feel this way. The silence in the room grew thicker and Rey felt the need to return to his quarters. She had gathered enough information to report back to the resistance, her mission on the other hand, she had failed. She could not bring Kylo Ren back to the light, he made that very clear when he beat her senseless. Even now with Hux she could tell his soul was black as night.

Rey wiggled her way from the vents and returned to Kylo's quarters without seeing anyone. She gave the blaster back to the stormtrooper who stood outside his quarters and willed the man to once again forget he ever spoke with her. Rey sat on Kylo's bed and waited for his return. She knew it would be soon because as she began to leave she heard him put away his saber and order commands to what she believed to be stormtroopers. To no surprise Kylo arrived after maybe 10 minutes of Rey waiting. He opened the door and strode into the middle of the room,

"I need you." Kylo followed his words by throwing his helmet off his head and to the ground,

"What?" Rey asked with confusion,

"Now." Rey was about to question him again but quickly realized what he meant now. He marched to her and pushed her onto her back atop his bed. He stared at her for a moment before pushing his lips onto hers, she passionately kissed back. Her first instinct was to recoil after what she had heard today and his plans to attack her friends, but a feeling of lust and desire clouded her mind. She had been wanting this since he undressed her two days ago.

He explored her mouth with his tongue with so much desire and want, he so desperately needed her. After his meeting with Hux and Phasma he needed to take his mind away. He needed to prove to himself that he could protect her from them. Without disconnecting their lips, Kylo pulled at her black pants and shoved them off of her body. Rey fidgeted out of them all the while running her fingers through his hair. He was about to remove his own clothing but something did not seem right. He felt Rey's body go ridged underneath him. He searched her mind in need of a reason,

"I know you've never been with anyone, Rey. Relax, I will take care of you. I will never hurt you." His again assured her he meant her no harm, he so strongly needed her to know that. She nodded a few times before removing her hands from his head and moving them to his waist. She searched the belt for a clasp which she could unbuckle and found it after a few seconds. Kylo Ren laughed softly at her shaking hands and unsureness.

"Why are you laughing at me..." Rey looked almost upset now. No, she actually looked embarrassed. Kylo Ren thought that was charming,

"Rey don't worry, don't be embarrassed. I know what I'm doing, I'll help you." Kylo Ren stroked her hair and kissed her forehead. She sighed and nodded again,

"Okay. Just promise me you will be gentle." She looked away and Kylo whispered against her hair,

"Always."

He removed his pants leaving his underwear on for now. He then pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside revealing his chest which had a vast amount of scars. Rey seemed surprised by it, she traced her fingers along a few larger ones and Kylo watched her move.

"Did these hurt?"

"At the time, of course they did. But I healed, there is now only scars to remind me of my past." He gestured to his face and Rey looked up to see the long scar on his cheek. She pulled his head down and kissed along the scar that she has made many moons ago. She was at a loss of words, she wasn't sure if to apologize or to not say anything.

"The past is done Rey. All that matters now is now." Kylo placed a hand on either side of Rey's waist and pushed her up to the top of his bed, following her so he could get lower to her. Her pushed her shirt up revealing a simple chest wrap. He took it off her while she stared down at him,

"Even more beautiful than I remember." Kylo whispered softly looking up and down her body. Usually something like this would make Rey extremely uncomfortable, but now it felt right.

Kylo kissed along her chest and settled on one of her breasts. Her sucked on it cashing her back to arch, Kylo became harder at the sight of her pleasure. He continued while placing a hand between her thighs forcing them open. He rubbed along her opening and nub making her moan softly. He removed his mouth and kept moving his hand, he kissed her neck for a moment creating a purple hickey. Rey was at a loss for words but everything felt so good.

She was nearing an orgasm so Kylo stopped his hand, he didn't want her to be too tired to fuck. He kissed he stomach which made her giggle, Kylo smiled against her stomach and rose from the bed. Her pushed his tight underwear down his thighs and his length fell against his torso. He thought he couldn't be any harder but the way Rey's face completely changed when she saw him made him more and more aroused. He smirked before coming back down to her, he placed an outstretched arm beside her head and kissed her once more softer than ever,

"Relax Rey, you'll enjoy this. But it will hurt at first, the more relaxed you are the easier it will be." Rey was sufficiently scared but Kylo stroked her cheek with the back of his hand so lightly that she trusted him to keep his promise.

He aligned himself with her opening and pushed into her agonizingly slowly, he only reached about halfway before Rey whimpered,

"Shh, relax." He whispered into her ear.

He pulled back out and then went in again just as slowly. He moved like this a few more times while Rey still seemed to be in pain, but after hardly a minute she let out a soft moan instead of another whimper. He looked down to where their bodies connected, there was blood now which meant he had probably broken her hymen.

"That feels good now..." Rey said cautiously while looking up at his face,

"Good, good." Kylo assured her.

He began to move faster now while still holding himself up. Her face twisted in pleasure which made Kylo smirk, this is what he had been wanting since that moment in the bathroom. She moved faster with every thrust until Rey moaned louder than before,

"Ah, there... Right there feels good."

"How good?" Kylo challenged her with a shaky voice, she looked confused at first until she realized he was teasing her.

"Really good..."

"Just good?" Kylo slowed his pace making her whimper,

"Fuck, it feels amazing. Better than anything I've ever felt." She breathed out while still panting, Kylo fake gasped,

"How profane Ms. Rey!" Rey smiled as Kylo picked up the pace making her back arch into his stomach. Kylo felt himself getting closer to finishing and growing weaker. Be bent his arms and allowed himself to lean against one of Rey's shoulders. Rey took the opportunity to wrap her legs loosely around his waist and her arms around his neck. She kissed his jaw and his neck all the way down to his collar bones. Rey felt herself starting to become undone and clench down around Kylo,

"Come Rey, come for me." Kylo said sloppily and breathlessly, Rey complied and moaned out bordering on yelling. She held him as close as possible as she came, it took everything in him to not come inside of her. He held on for a few more moments before pulling out and finishing himself on her stomach using his hands.

Kylo fell back on top of her completely ignoring the fact he made a terrible sticky mess all over her. Rey smiled and ran her nails down his back, he was heavy but she didn't care right now. She held him knowing he needed to be held very badly.

"Rey?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For what Kylo?"

"Showing me that even the darkest places can be lit even if dimly and only for a moment, thank you for showing me my soul could not be all lost. Thank you for being here. I needed you more than you know." Kylo rolled off of her and groaned, his hair was all over his face and he was too tired to actually clean himself up.

Rey decided she would go get a washcloth and clean off him and herself. She fetched a washcloth and water and rubbed if along her chest and his, he muttered a sloppy thank you and rolled over. Rey sat at the edge of his bed and crossed her legs. He was half asleep as she watched him lay there. She sat thinking of what she heard earlier about the resistance, she thought about her friends and her life she had built. She also thought about Kylo Ren and her original mission. She thought about his soul and who he really was, and how we was willing to show her who he really was. She felt confused and afraid. She felt like she needed him, like a part of his soul now belonged to her and vice-versa. She also felt like the resistance needed her.

She watched him for a long while, he slept peacefully now. More so than she had ever seen. She had only been here for 4 days but she felt like she had learned a lifetime of things, about herself and about Kylo Ren. But she knew where she needed to be right now, she also knew her path would cross his again one day. She only hoped he would be so willing to bare his soul to her when that day comes. She only hoped he would forgive her.

When Kylo Ren awoke, he knew what had happened before he opened his eyes. When Kylo Ren opened his eyes, she was gone...

Authors note
...I'm sorry.
XX Grace