Reetha exited the medbay, dark rings around her eyes showed that she'd been staying up the night before to work on her current patient. As she leaned by the corridor, Reetha watched the other medics who worked with her, cart away a body covered head to toe in a white sheet. 

When she returned to the operating room, her sight was greeted by the mess of tools and blood. The patient that came in took in shrapnel as a result from being to close to an enemy bomb. She and her medical team worked effortlessly to save the poor trooper, but it seemed that they were a little to late. 

Around five minutes earlier, the patients heart monitor came to a still. They tried to revive him, but failed. The defeat was evident on the other medics but non decided to show grief. It was always like this. Whenever a soldier came to the medbay, Reetha and the team would work to the bone to save their lives. But the moment they loose a life, they put on a façade, not wanting to show any emotion. After all, they should be used to it by now. 

No matter how many times this had happened, Reetha seemed to become even more emotionally drained. Not being able to share ones grief is burdening and depressing, especially when those whom you thought could share that pain, choose to shun their own sadness. Reetha had not been given, nor did she give herself a chance to properly grief. 

Her shift ended soon after. Reetha cleaned the operating room and left to retire in her room, before choosing to stop in the mess for some food. The mess was not packed but not empty either. Some bridge officers still hung back, speaking in tired hushed tones about their stressful work, and occasional troopers eating tasteless ration bars. Reetha sighed, grabbed a coffee and sat far away as possible from the others. 

While lost in her thought, she had not realized a voice calling her. Reetha only came to her senses when the person sat himself across Reetha. "Hey, for the third time." The person snapped his fingers in front of her daze, successfully gaining her attention. 

Her sight was greeted by two familiar clones.Jesse, and Kix. "Oh, hey guys. What's up?" Jesse slid into the seat next to her, while Kix sat across. "Apparently you." Jesse leaned against the wall. "You okay Reetha? Why so glum?" He asked. 

"Oh, nothing. Work as usual." Kix shared a glanced with Jesse, both sensing something unspoken from the girl. "Reetha. What happened?" Kix asked gently, Jesse leaned in on the table, resting an arm on the table. 

Seeing that the troopers weren't going to give up anytime soon, she annoyedly huffed. "I didn't manage to save a life today alright." The two troopers sucked in a breath, both knowing the pain she was going through. "My team and I tried my best to save his, but we weren't fast enough so he died. Was that satisfactory enough of a confession?" Reetha spat out as tears began to sting her eyes. She quickly gathered her coffee and stomped out of the mess. 

Jesse looked sadly to Kix. "I think you need to talk to her." Kix nodded and immediately ran after you. 

"Reetha! Reetha wait!" Upon hearing Kix's calls, Reetha slowed her pace. She knew that the two weren't going to give up on her so soon. 

She spun on her heels to meet a running trooper. Kix caught up with her, placing his hands on his hips to catch his breath. Reetha didn't want to start any conversation so she kept quiet. 

"Come on. Let's go for a walk." Reetha let Kix lead her to the streets of the upper levels of Coruscant. 

Kix and Reetha walked side by side down the dimly lit streets of Coruscant. The sun had set on the core planet, allowing the planet to truly come to life. The cold and crisp air blew on Reetha's skin, allowing her to enjoy a breath of air to calm her thoughts. 

The walk remained silent until Kix decided to stop and lean on a railing over looking the deep well that ran through the planet, descending in its lower levels. Reetha leaned her back against the railing, sighing to herself. "So, it there a reason your here instead of the barracks?"She tilted her head slightly to Kix. 

"Do I need a reason to hang out with my sister?" Reetha clicked her tongue at Kix's reply. "Real funny." 

"So, the patient today. What was their name?" the clone asked carefully and softly, not wanting to disturb the peace that had settled between himself and the girl. 

Reetha pulled her hands closer to herself and answered after a moment. "He was a trooper. Dre. Dre was him name." she stopped for a moment to collect herself before continuing. "A shiny in from the Coruscant guard. Took some shrapnel during an explosion." 

Her words came to a halt, sniffles escaping her. "Didn't manage to save him?" Kix asked gently while turning to look at his friend, understanding laced in his voice. Reetha nodded not wanting to speak. 

Kix hummed and pushed himself of the railing, only to lean his back on it and mimicked Reetha's position. "I won't asked you too forget it, because I know it's impossible, but I will tell you that it's not your fault." 

"How was it not my fault, huh? I'm a medic. I'm supposed to save lives, not end it." Her laughed sarcastically. "I mean, I know I should be used to all this death, but I still cry and still feel pain and s-suffering!" She paused for a second as tears began to pour down her face. " I try to drown it out, accept it, but it's impossible to not to feel pain. It's at these times that I adore my team mates for being able to leave the operating room, un-phased. It's like they don't know how to grief." 

Kix remained silent through out the whole time Reetha spoke. Absorbing her words and the sound of the voice. She was torn apart from all this pent up stress, because she did not have a shoulder to cry on, or someone to listen to her. Kix knew this feeling all to well. 

"Reetha, let me tell you something." Kix started. " I am a medic, a field medic. Everytime I set foot on the battle field, I treat so many brothers. I see them suffering from all types of wounds. They'd be lucky if those injuries are curable. The unfortunate ones who survive the incurable wish they were dead." 

Reetha looked up slowly to the man beside her, who was deep in thought. "Either way, those injuries are my responsibility and I do my best to heal them, but I know that I can't save everyone." 

Reetha didn't reply, but she dwelled on his words. Kix then continued after taking in a deep  breath. "Yet, with all my effort, someone always dies. And, it's always in my hands." Kix whispered. 

He looked towards Reetha with soft eyes. "Reetha, being a medic means to live with the reality that death does not discriminate between the sinners and the saints. It takes what it wants, whenever it wants. It's not for us to control." 

Reetha looked to her feet, not wanting Kix to see the tears in her eyes. He shook his head and lifted Reetha's face to meet his gently with his hands. The soft leather of his gloves wiping away her tears. "That does not mean, we cannot grief." He said sternly but gently to make his point. 

" Then why can't we not grief. Why do I even need these emotions. The others don't even seem phased by the patients passing. Kix, we worked to our bones to save him and when he died, they just wheeled his body out without even shedding a tear. H-how come they don't seem to grief?" 

Kix knew Reetha was still learning to cope with the pain. He went through something just as similar when he started off in the 501st. He quickly brought Reetha into a hug, as she burried her face in his chest armor. He rested his chin on her forehead, gently running his fingers through her hair. 

"Reetha, everyone griefs. Even medics. Just because you did not see your team mates grief, that does not mean they never grief. Like you said, a medic is to heal lives, not take it away. Your team mates, they might just be in a similar position as you."

"Wh-what, do you mean?" Reetha asked, still hugging Kix. 

"They may be having trouble grieving over the patient as well. Just like you. I can tell you Reetha, all medics grief over the lost of a life. If they don't, they aren't doing their job right." 

Reetha chuckled softly. "Then, how do I grief? If they are like me, how do they grief?"

"I don't know, Reetha." Kix whispered. 

"Kix?" Kix pulled away slower when she called him and hummed. "Can I grieve with you?" 

Kix smiled and hugged his sister closer. "Of course you can, ad'ika. I will be here for you." 

- ad'ika = little one -